谁能帮修改一下，作文较烂，急呀，写给招生办的

落叶无声

Admission officer:

I’m applying to the Master of Business Administration program for Fall Session 2007, and my student ID is ＃＃＃＃.

I have received an email from you and am recommended to provide all documents by the 2nd JuLY, 2007. I have delivered all documents except GMAT score. I estimate my GMAT score is 660.

I’ll take GMAT test on 4th July, 2007, and then fax the unofficial score to you when I complete the test.

Could you kindly delay the deadline to  4th July, 2007 ? .

Yours sincerely

#######

Email:########

谁帮修改一下？，能否再加点套瓷的话（是叫套瓷吧，就是讨好的话）谢谢了  :-)

落叶无声

没人帮忙吗？自己顶一下：（

Nomoredream

Even I do not think my English is much better than yours, still try to make some changes.

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Dear Admission Officer: (better to have the surname of the office, so you write Ms. or Mr. xxx here)

My name is xxx, an applicant of your MBA program of Fall Sesscion 2007. My student ID is xxx.

I received an email from you dated on xxx which recommended me to provide all the application documents by 2nd of July. Following your recommendation, I sent out all the documents by xxx(DHL/Fedex/UPS etc.) on xxx (date) except the GMAT score, which is not available at this moment.

Actually, I am going to The GMAT test on 4th of July and aims to socre over 660. I will fax the unofficial GMAT socre to you after the test and you will receive the official one from ETS (?) later. I wonder whehter this is OK for you and please let me know if not.

Sunny greetings from xxx, China.

Yours sincerely

#######

Email:########

[此贴子已经被作者于2007-6-14 23:40:16编辑过]

落叶无声

the revision is really better than that i wrote. Thanks a million:-)

gracis

Should be "Admissions officer:"