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[Essay] Essay Help Course

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11#
 楼主| 发表于 2003-8-30 22:29:00 | 只看该作者
Diversity

After evaluating the qualifications and talent of the applicant pool, admissions committees seek to build a class full of interesting people from varied backgrounds. The purpose of this question is to find out what you have to contribute to this potential class. Here are some general guidelines for identifying a strong topic:

1. Don't write an ode to diversity. Many people spend half the essay writing about how much they value diversity, or about how important diversity is to enriching one's learning experience. Your readers know this, and you are wasting words by stating the obvious.

2. If you fit into one of the obvious categories, make sure you have something substantive to say. You should not simply mention a factor such as your race, ethnicity, socioeconomic background, age, disability, or international upbringing and expect that to be your distinguishing feature. Instead, focus on how your background has shaped your life or career; discuss how it affects the perspective you will bring to the program.

3. Diversity is not just about the obvious categories. Some people who are from privileged backgrounds will write about experiences in multicultural settings. This can be effective, especially if you have an extensive background within a particular setting. But your topic need not have anything to do with the obvious categories. You could also talk about a unique extracurricular activity, work experience, or hobby that has influenced your development. Don't look for prepackaged answers, but be sincere and reveal something meaningful.

4. Don't pick something that everyone else has. Make sure that the point you use to distinguish yourself is actually noteworthy. For example, don't say that what you have to contribute is your communication skills and leadership ability. Everyone will be emphasizing these skills in other questions, and you will lose an opportunity to stand out. Note: There are questions that simply ask about your most important qualities, rather than what you have to contribute to diversity. In those cases, you should talk about the important themes with which everyone else will be dealing, though finding an original point in addition is always helpful.

5. Be sure to cite specific evidence. If you're discussing an experience that has shaped your perspective, focus on concrete details. If you're discussing more abstract qualities that you possess, offer examples to show how you cultivated those qualities or how they came into play in your life.

This applicant moved from a small country formerly of the Soviet Union to the United States. Because his interest is in international business, he is able to tie his cross-cultural background to his past accomplishments and future plans in the global economy - and to his involvement in the Robinson student body.

The other angle some schools may take on diversity is to ask about your experience in diverse situations. Again, this should not be an invitation to deliver a paean to diversity. If you're going to discuss the positive influence that diversity had on a situation, be sure to cite specific examples. Also, focus on your role even if the question just asks about your experience, since active contribution reveals more about your character than passive response. You might emphasize such qualities as your ability to communicate, to cooperate, to bridge differences, and so on, but always with specific examples to back them up.
12#
发表于 2003-8-31 22:56:00 | 只看该作者
Thanks!
13#
发表于 2003-8-31 23:29:00 | 只看该作者
I spent like a hour to read all these. Very helpful, tsljz!
14#
发表于 2003-9-1 05:07:00 | 只看该作者
good article, thank you so much, tsljz!!!
15#
 楼主| 发表于 2003-9-2 12:40:00 | 只看该作者
呵呵,我还以为没有人看呢,好,多谢捧场,继续贴
16#
 楼主| 发表于 2003-9-2 12:43:00 | 只看该作者
Accomplishments

The goal in answering this kind of question is to analyze rather than summarize an achievement. This advice is particularly true if you're discussing an accomplishment that is listed elsewhere on the application. Your readers want to gain insight into your character -- not read a factual summary of what occurred.

Here are some guiding principles to use in constructing your answer:

1. Choose something that's meaningful to you. Some applicants feel obligated to choose the most objectively impressive accomplishments. You should write about something that has personal significance, even if you weren't formally recognized for it. What matters is that you write passionately and insightfully about your subject. Unless otherwise specified, you should feel free to draw on academic, personal, or professional successes.

2. Focus on details about the process. Show the reader through concrete details how you achieved what you did. If you want to discuss a grade you earned in a particularly challenging class, show us how you mastered the material. For example, describe creative strategies you used; don't rely on clichés like "I succeeded through hard work."

3. Build tension. Describe obstacles and how you overcame them. Note initial difficulties or intermediate failures, and show how you recovered. By adding a sense of drama to your story, you not only keep the reader interested, but you also make the accomplishment seem that much more significant.

4. Evaluate the significance of the accomplishment. Again, the goal here is to add insight beyond what the reader knows from the straightforward facts. For example, you can comment on how the accomplishment represents an aspect of your character, or describe how it fits within your background of successes and failures. Don't get carried away, however, and try to draw overly grand lessons. You might discuss external consequences of your actions to convey their magnitude, but ultimately you should stay focused on your personal response.

5. Don't boast or be overly modest. This is a hard balance to strike, but if you stay focused on the details of your story, then you shouldn't have a problem. Use the details to convey the magnitude of your accomplishment; you should be able to do so sincerely without having to promote yourself. For example, if you can show through illustrative evidence how you influenced the course of someone's life, you won't have to make a presumptuous statement about, for example, "having a profound impact on the life of another."

This applicant discusses three accomplishments. The first is a professional achievement with specific details both about the difficulties he encountered and the contributions he made. His second accomplishment comes from his involvement in his community. Note that he makes the following unnecessary statement: "This experience was remarkable because it afforded me the privilege of making a positive difference in the lives of others." Although this is certainly true, the writer would be better off showing the difference he has made. Nevertheless, the overall account is still strong, because he does return to focus on specific duties he had and results for which he was responsible.

His final accomplishment falls under a personal achievement. Note that he is able to avoid sounding boastful by acknowledging but downplaying praise: "My act was heralded in the newspapers and recognized by a citation from the highway patrol and the county in which the event occurred, but this hardly equaled the feeling I received from having saved this boy's life." Few of us have been involved in saving another person's life, but this story provides a strong model of engaging dramatic narration and effective use of detail. The writer does not need to spend many words evaluating the significance of his story, because the details have already revealed so much to the reader about his character.


17#
 楼主| 发表于 2003-9-2 12:48:00 | 只看该作者
Leadership

The leadership questions usually come in two forms: the kind that ask about your "leadership style," and the kind that ask you to discuss a "leadership situation." You should not try to use a single essay to address both questions, because they require different emphases. The first question asks you to describe principles that define your approach to leadership. You should then back these principles up with evidence of how you've applied them.

The second question wants you to focus on a single experience (or in some cases two experiences). For these essays your first objective is to flesh out the details of the situation and the contributions you made. You must tell an in-depth, engaging story before you even worry about the insights and lessons you deduce. Then, when you get to that stage, your insights into leadership should be focused on the story you just told. Don't stray too far and try to include everything you know about leadership.

After this basic difference in emphasis, the goals of both essays are essentially the same and include the following:

1. Describe your strengths honestly. You don't have to give much attention to weaknesses or even discuss them explicitly (though if you can mention plans for improvement, that can be very effective). The point here is to show a clear awareness of your personal strengths, as opposed to pretending to be the best at everything. Taking the latter approach will suggest that you only know the clichés of leadership, but don't have a genuine understanding of how to exercise it in real life.

2. Avoid oversimplified principles. You most likely won't have anything entirely new to say, but you can still avoid stating the obvious. Again, the best approach is to stay specific and personal. You might, for example, combine two straightforward principles and show how you've combined them effectively.

3. Show growth. One way to avoid having to cite the obvious is instead to show through examples how you came to understand a particular lesson. Your readers are interested in how you've developed and matured. Start off by indicating your uncertainty, and then frame your newly learned principles not as conclusions to share with the reader but as an integral part of the story's arc.

4. Illustrate your personal qualities. You want to convey both your own strong understanding of how to lead and indicate to the reader the valuable qualities you have for that task. These can include communication, collaborative, organizational, and problem-solving skills, as well as personal characteristics like inspiration, initiative, responsibility, and vision. As always, there's no point in simply naming these qualities as ones you possess. You must show them through example.
     
     
This applicant focuses his first six paragraphs on the details of his project and the roles he played. He includes specific duties such as the following: "My role was specific: develop a strategy to improve navigation, communicate the complete range of ADP's products and services, optimize the flow of traffic to drive leads for the business segments, persuade visitors to purchase ADP products and services online, and create a platform for ADP's evolving E-business strategy." Because he focuses on concrete examples, he does not need to tell us about his ability to strategize or communicate. We can deduce for ourselves the kinds of skills he shows in his work.

In his conclusion, the writer avoids citing generic clichés about leadership and instead focuses on practical lessons learned. There are implicit broader principles behind those lessons, but it's more important that we see how he has applied them to his specific case. For example, "the importance of matching corporate strategy to Internet strategy" speaks essentially to the importance of aligning goals, which applies to all leadership situations.

This applicant relies a little too heavily on generalized insights into leadership. He draws on one concrete example in the second paragraph, however, and this makes a great difference. The best way to demonstrate leadership ability is not to write vaguely about your success in completing projects or motivating people. Instead, name an example of a problem you faced and led the way in overcoming, or mention a person whom you earned the support of after initial difficulties. Leadership is a quality that everyone will enthusiastically claim, but few will have the proper strategy in supporting their claims.


[此贴子已经被作者于2003-9-2 12:48:48编辑过]
18#
 楼主| 发表于 2003-9-3 11:11:00 | 只看该作者
Hobbies and Interests

In asking this question, admissions officers want to see another dimension to your personality. Some schools will ask you to describe one important activity, while others will simply ask how you spend your free time. Regardless of which question you're answering, try to achieve depth. Don't make the mistake of thinking that they just want to see well-rounded people and take the approach of listing everything that interests you. While it's important to show that you lead a balanced life, you should treat this question as you treat all the others -- as a chance to make yourself stand out. That means focusing on what you're truly passionate about, instead of trying to say what you think they want to hear.

Many people choose to write about sports. If you choose to discuss a physical activity, you're immediately going to face the obstacle of writing about something your readers have seen many times. You will have a difficult time finding something unique to say, but as long as you focus on personal details, you can create a strong answer. On the other hand, you should resist the temptation to cite the clichéd lessons about working hard and being a team player. Moreover, if you try to force connections back to your business skills, your entire essay will seem contrived.

Approach the essay as though you were trying to get someone else excited about your hobby through your own enthusiasm. Of course, it should still be a personal account rather than a sales pitch. So if your hobby is rare book collecting, don't try to tell the reader about how it demonstrates your organizational skills. Instead, describe your feelings when you make a serendipitous discovery or complete a set that you started many years ago.

Another tactic you can use to keep the essay grounded in personal details is to focus on a particular episode from your past involvement. If you're writing about your love for chess, focus on a particular match that epitomizes your passion.

This applicant does choose a physical activity, but he offers a twist: running posed a significant immediate challenge to him because he suffers from asthma. He does not need to cite clichéd lessons to give his account meaning. Instead, we see from the specific progress he made -- "from huffing and puffing (and wheezing) my way through tentative one-mile runs to involving myself in the rigors of the triathlon" -- how committed and determined he was.

19#
 楼主| 发表于 2003-9-3 11:14:00 | 只看该作者
Role Models

how much your answer to this question can say about you. The role model you choose is not nearly as important as your description of that person and the way you relate this back to yourself. Here are some principles to keep in mind when writing this essay.

1. Choose someone with whom you have had a meaningful relationship. Don't pick a more important but distant figure. No one will be impressed if you choose, for example, the CEO of your company but have nothing to say about him beyond listing the credentials in his company profile.

Note: There are some questions that allow you to identify a "hero," and others that ask you to describe an ideal manager. In those cases you should alter your choice accordingly, but the below principles still apply.

2. Express thoughtful admiration. Glorifying your role model makes you sound naïve. Focus instead on describing the person in an insightful manner and explaining why you value what he or she represents. You might even have reason to differentiate yourself from your role model in specific ways, though the overall purpose should be to describe what you admire and want to emulate.

3. Describe and illustrate specific qualities. Avoid relying on vague language that merely depicts your role model as "brilliant" or "compassionate." Instead, aim for a more penetrating portrait that captures your role model's complexities. Moreover, just because you're not writing about yourself does not mean that you don't have to back up your claims. Show your role model in detailed action to convey the qualities that he or she embodies.

4. Tell stories. Using specific anecdotes is the best way to achieve depth in your description. By describing the details of a particular episode, you can convey much more about a person than by listing any number of characteristics.

5. Show the role model's tangible influence on you. The best way to demonstrate the importance your role model has played in your life is to recount changes you've made based on that person's influence. Of course, you should not come across as a sycophant or a blind follower. But you can show how your role model provoked ideas that then initiated a course of action.

This applicant writes a very effective portrayal of a woman who overcame gender constraints to become a successful professional. The writer illustrates Erika's qualities by describing her specific actions. The applicant concludes by articulating exactly what she admires most about Erika and showing how her life has changed as a result of knowing her.

This applicant offers a meaningful portrait of his father in just 300 words. Unlike the previous applicant, he chooses to name the qualities that he admires right from the outset, but he then goes on to justify them with concrete examples.

20#
 楼主| 发表于 2003-9-3 11:17:00 | 只看该作者
Failure

How can you admit a failure and still offer an answer that strengthens your application? Of course, showing what you learned and how you recovered is absolutely essential, but many people don't realize the importance of discussing a real, substantive failure.

Applicants believe that the slightest hint of weakness will ruin their chances. In reality, admissions committees know that you have flaws, even if you don't disclose them. You're better off being candid for the following reasons:

1. Your readers will appreciate your honesty, and this perception will affect the way they judge your other answers.
2. You show a stronger self-awareness when you can identify real mistakes.
3. Only by engaging with a substantive failure can you offer meaningful insights into the lessons you learned.

Instead of being forthright, most applicants will either choose a topic that hardly qualifies as a failure, or they will write something generic or irrelevant to avoid admitting any substantive flaws. As an example that suffers from both problems, an applicant might describe a situation in which extenuating circumstances caused the failed outcome. The problem with this approach is that it leaves no room for self-examination and offers no insight into the applicant's character.

So how do you choose a topic that is substantive but won't make you look too bad? First, avoid any failure that reveals irreversible faults. In other words, it should be a mistake that results from inexperience and therefore can be addressed for future scenarios. For example, you don't want your conclusion to be that you are simply a poor leader or communicator. On the other hand, you could admit that as a leader you have pushed people too hard, because that's a specific point upon which you can improve.

Second, aim to find a failure that results from a good quality. For example, perhaps you failed because you're too independent and have difficulty delegating responsibilities to other people. Again, be careful that your topic leads to self-examination even if it's based on a typically positive quality.

Once you have a topic, you still have to reflect insightfully on it. The best way to avoid generic, obvious lessons is to demonstrate what you learned through action. Show how you acted differently in a subsequent, similar scenario. If you can only derive abstract insights, aim as always for complexity rather than relying on prepackaged ideas. "The importance of hard work" is simply no longer interesting, whereas "the limits of hard work in a mutually dependent relationship" can be.

This applicant describes a failure that resulted from lack of foresight. It was a mistake that had to do with immaturity rather than a severe shortcoming in any professional area. Nevertheless, there is a clear mistake that was made and relevant lessons to be learned.

This applicant describes a failure that has several dimensions. Although the focus is on one result, he addresses the flawed expectations and ineffective leadership choices that led to that outcome. As in the previous case, the failure has to do with inexperience rather than any irreversible character flaws. He therefore can demonstrate how he has improved upon his inexperienced choices, which he does through concrete examples of changes he made.
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