晓野的野的作文贴【欢迎拍砖】【砖管够】【考前每日一练】

晓野的野 · 发表于 2013-8-4 23:56:58

手残敲字慢......
脑...呃....

必须把作文练起来！

药药切克闹，每日作文来一套！

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8月8日木有写...我忏悔，绝对没有下一次
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8月25日真题

晓野的野 · 发表于 2013-8-4 23:58:00

8月4日独立作文

有人一边学习一边玩手机、上网、听歌，你赞同么？

Some people prefer to study while playing cellphones, surfing the Internet and listening to music. They argue that they can finish studying with enjoyment. However, I have different ideas. When it comes to the statement that students should study while doing some other things full of entertainment such as playing cellphones or surfing the Internet, I disagree. Three reasons are offered in support of my opinion: doing so will divert students’ attention and form a bad habit, lower students’ efficiency and reduce learning quality.

First of all, studying while playing cellphones, surfing the Internet and listening to music will distract people's attention. We need to pay enough attention to study because learning is not easy and we need think while learning. If people pay too much attention to other things, they do not have enough energy for studying, and, as a result they can not think out the hard problem and can not come up with good idea. If students keep doing so, they will start a bad habit.

In the second place, studying while doing other things especially some things that are full of entertainment will lower students' efficiency. It is very likely that students will stop studying and begin to watch a movie because they find a new movie on the Internet. It is a waste of time if the work that can be finished in an hour is finished in two hours. For example, Jack, my good friend who liked to study while doing some other things such as surfing the Internet, always stayed up late to finish his home work and did a bad job. After I told him to change his studying habit, he significantly increased his studying efficiency and got good grades in the last exam.

Admittedly, that students study while surfing the Internet or playing cellphones seems to make learning become more interesting. But what students lose exceeds what students get: Doing so reduces the quality of studying. More time are paid while the quality of leaning is decreased. And in fact students do not fully enjoy the entertainment. It is no doubt that people can have more fun if they finish their learning tasks. They’d better finish their learning tasks first and go on the entertainment.

To sum up, I do not agree with the opinion that people should study while playing cellphones, surfing the Internet and listening to music. The bad learning habit distracts people’s attention, lowers students’ efficiency and reduces the learning quality. For these reasons, I disagree with the opinion that students should study while doing some other things full of entertainment such as playing telephones or surfing the Internet.

laneesherry · 发表于 2013-8-5 01:40:51

第一次帮人改作文，有什么不足的地方还请多多包涵。

黄色高亮是个人觉得原文有问题的地方。
蓝色是发现有错误的地方，不过本人的语法等知识也非常糟糕所以判断错误的话请指出。
紫红色是关于表达提出的建议。

8月4日独立作文
有人一边学习一边玩手机、上网、听歌，你赞同么？

Some people prefer to study while playing cellphones, surfing the Internet and listening to music. They argue that they can finish studying with enjoyment. However, I have different ideas. When it comes to the statement that students should study while doing some other things full of entertainment such as playing cellphones or surfing the Internet, I disagree. （这里的两句话删掉“I have different ideas”，直接把两句合为一句会不会更简洁？）Three reasons are offered in support of my opinion: doing so will divert students’ attention and form a bad habit, lower students’ efficiency （“lower ”和“efficiency ”搭配起来好奇怪的样子，更常见的是：reduce/decrease efficiency ）and reduce learning quality.（如果想要表达降低学习效率和学习质量的话这样会不会更好： reduce student's learning efficiency and study quality.) (不过个人觉得这里这最后一句从“Three reason ”开始可以略去，直接“I will try to demonstrate my opinion in the following paragraphs.”）

First of all, studying while playing cellphones, surfing the Internet and listening to music will distract people's attention. We need to pay enough attention to study because learning is not easy and we need think while learning. If people pay (paid，现在对现在的虚拟时用一般过去式)too much attention to other things, they do （did，理由同上）not have enough energy for （in ）studying, and, (这里建议去掉and直接断成两句)as a result they can not think out the hard problem and can not come up with good idea. If students keep doing so, they will start a bad habit. ( They couldn't be involved in complex thinking, which will lead to the loose of such an ablity. 感觉楼主想表达的是这个意思？)

In the second place, studying while doing other things especially some things that are full of entertainment will lower students' efficiency.(这句主题句略啰嗦。) It is very likely that students will stop studying and begin to watch a movie because （逻辑上来说用“If”虚拟或“when”更恰当？）they find a new movie on the Internet. It is a waste of time if the work that can be finished in an hour is finished in two hours. For example, Jack, my good friend who liked to study while doing some other things such as surfing the Internet, always stayed up late to finish his home work and did a bad job. After I told him to change his studying habit, （After + doing sth, XXXXX）(就楼主想要表达的意思来说，把“I telling”换成“I persuading”劝说、劝服感觉更形象一些？)he significantly increased his studying efficiency and got good grades in the last exam.（总的来说这个例子有点不切题的赶脚。楼主的主题句是“学习时三心二意会降低效率”，但是举的例子是“我的同学改掉了三心二意的毛病所以成绩提高了”。如果是我来写这个例子的话会“我的一个成绩很好的同学因为不集中注意力所以成绩直线下滑”。）（另外，就结构上来说，这个例子少了举例之后的总结深化句，给人一种欠缺感。）

Admittedly, that students study while surfing the Internet or playing cellphones seems to make learning become more interesting. But what students lose exceeds what students get: Doing so reduces the quality of studying. More time are paid while the quality of leaning is decreased. And in fact students do not fully enjoy the entertainment. It is no doubt that （固定句型：There is no doubt that XXXXXX）people can have more fun if they finish their learning tasks. They’d better finish their learning tasks first and go on the entertainment.（这一段主题句和结构不是很清晰。）

To sum up, I do not agree with the opinion that people should study while playing cellphones, surfing the Internet and listening to music. The bad learning habit distracts people’s attention, lowers students’ efficiency and reduces the learning quality. (总结句里面的词最好还是不要照抄第一段，换个表述更容易拿高分)For these reasons, I disagree with the opinion that students should study while doing some other things full of entertainment such as playing telephones or surfing the Internet. （这一句和前面那句重复了有些啰嗦。）

以上~
总的来说楼主的语句有种Chinglish的感觉。。。就是那种语法没错但是读起来就是有“总觉得那里不对”这样的感觉。
不过本人的英文语感也不是很好所以就不再妄加评论了。。。

晓野的野 · 发表于 2013-8-5 11:36:05

laneesherry 发表于 2013-8-5 01:40
第一次帮人改作文，有什么不足的地方还请多多包涵。

黄色高亮是个人觉得原文有问题的地方。

谢谢sherry~
我会认真修改的！

晓野的野 · 发表于 2013-8-5 16:38:13

8月4日修改版
有人一边学习一边玩手机、上网、听歌，你赞同么？

Some people prefer to study while playing cell phones, surfing the Internet and listening to music. They argue that they can finish studying with enjoyment. However, when it comes to the statement that students should study while doing some other things full of entertainment such as playing cell phones or surfing the Internet, I disagree. Several reasons are offered in support of my opinion: doing so will divert students’ attention, form a bad habit, and reduce students’ efficiency and learning quality.

First of all, that students study while playing cell phones, surfing the Internet and listening to music will distract people's attention. People need to pay enough attention to study because learning is not easy. And we need to think with sufficient concentration while learning. If the brain is busy focusing on many other things, it cannot pay sufficient attention to think of problems in studying. And as a result, problems remain unsolved and people learn nothing new from studying. If students continue to learn in this way, a bad habit of learning will be formed and will do harm to students in the future.

In the second place, studying while doing other things especially some things that are full of entertainment will reduce students' efficiency. It is highly possible that students will stop studying and begin to watch a movie after they find a new movie on the Internet. It is a waste of time to spend 2 hours finishing the work if the work can be finished in an hour. For example, Jack, my good friend who liked to study while doing some other things such as surfing the Internet, always stayed up late to finish his home work and did a bad job. After I persuaded him to change his studying habit, he significantly increased his studying efficiency and got good grades in the last exam. From this example, we can draw the conclusion that studying without concentration reduces the studying efficiency.

Admittedly, that students study while surfing the Internet or playing cell phones seems to make learning become more interesting. But what students lose exceeds what students get: Doing so reduces the quality of studying. More time are paid while the quality of leaning is decreased. And in fact students do not fully enjoy the entertainment. There is no doubt that people can have more fun if they finish their learning tasks. They’d better finish their learning tasks first and go on the entertainment.

To sum up, engaging in recreational activities while studying is not a good way for studying. The bad learning habit distracts people’s attention, lowers students’ efficiency and reduces the learning quality. For these reasons, I disagree with the opinion that students should study while doing some other things full of entertainment such as playing telephones, surfing the Internet or listening to music.

晓野的野 · 发表于 2013-8-6 01:52:34

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
为了经济发展，我们可以忽略环境问题

Nowadays, many countries, especially many developing countryies, are trying their best to develop their economy. So eager are they to keep the high rate of economic growth that they always overlook the environmental problems. The economic seems to develop well despite of the severe damage that the environment suffer from. When it comes to the statement that people can develope the economy by taking risk to overlook the environment issues, however, I cannot agree. Several reasons in different respects will be demonstrated and explained to justify my opinion.

In the first place, overlooking environmental issues, people always pay less attention to the solid waste discharges and waste gas emissions, which will do great harm to living standards. In those years, there is an increasing number of people become seriously ill and it become harder to cure those new diseases. Some researches show that such strange diseases are due to the pollutants, which are cause by the excessive waste discharge. Developing the economy without considering about the environmental issues, people may get more money but they lose health. What is worse is that health cannot be bought with money.

Additionally, environmental issues and economic growth are not two separated part. A good and fast economic growth rate depends on a healthy ecological environment. Assuming that the ecological environment in an area is so fragile that the forests are degraded and water is dried out, no factories can be build up here since there is even no materials. There is no doubt that economy can not or can hard develope in such areas so that attention to environmental issues is necessary.

Admittedly, the economy can be fast developed without considering about the environmental issues or at the cost of healthy ecological environment. However, it is bad for the long-term development since the environmental is so seriously polluted that it will cost a great amount of money to handle this problem. Furthermore, what can our younger generations use since we use too much natural materials because of lacking in attention to the environment?

To sum up, I would like to emphasize that it is not a good way to develop economy without considering about environmental issues. In this way, as I mentioned, the living standard is reduced, the development is negative influenced, and the long-term development is damaged. For those reasons, I cannot agree with such opinion.

慢慢写，写了一个多小时，以为写了500多字
结果差几个字才400......唉

mk314400 · 发表于 2013-8-6 11:51:54

Nowadays,many countries, especially many developing countryies（拼写）, are trying their best to develop their economy. Soeager are they to keep the high rate of economic growth that they alwaysoverlook the environmental problems. The economic（economy） seems to develop welldespite of the severe damage that the environment suffer(s) from.When it comes to the statement that people can develope(拼写) the economy by taking risk to overlookthe environment issues, however, I cannot agree.（个人觉得这句有点奇怪。however前后联结的应该是有明显转折意义的两个分句，但是when后面的这句和cannot agree这句似乎没有特别明显的转折意味。能不能改成whenit comes to the…., some people agree, however, I cannot agree。这样感觉会顺畅许多～） Severalreasons in different respects will be demonstrated and explained to justify myopinion.

In the first place, overlooking environmentalissues, people always pay less attention to the solid waste discharges andwaste gas emissions, which will do great harm to（standard似乎不能用do harm to, lower是不是更好？） living standards. In those years, thereis an increasing number of people become（becoming. There be 之后加doing） seriously ill and itbecome(becomes) harder to cure those new diseases. Someresearches show that such strange diseases are due to the pollutants, which arecause(d) by the excessive waste discharge.Developing the economy without considering about the environmental issues,people may get more money but they lose health(lose health有点奇怪。。weak health会不会好一点). What is worse is thathealth cannot be bought with money.

（该段的sub point是污染环境会使生活标准下降。但是支持这个观点的内容都是与health有关的。但是living standard不仅仅包括health。所以在支持的时候能否全面一点？）

Additionally,environmental issues and economic growth are not two separated（separate） part. A good and fasteconomic growth rate depends on a healthy ecological environment. Assuming thatthe ecological environment in an area is so fragile that the forests are degradedand water is dried out, no factories can be build(built) up heresince there is(are. Be动词与materials对应) even no materials. There is no doubtthat economy can not or can hard develope（拼写） in such areas so that attention to environmental issuesis necessary.（最后一句什么意思没有读懂。。）

Admittedly, the economy can be fast developedwithout considering about the environmental issues or at the cost of healthyecological environment.（后半句的意思不对。你想表达的是不能因为发展经济而污染环境对吧？但是如果把句子写完整theeconomy can be fast developed without at the cost of healthy ecologicalenvironment。语法不对。我觉得直接改成the economy can not be fast developed…会更清晰）However, it is bad for the long-term development since the environmental（environment） is so seriously pollutedthat it will cost a great amount of money to handle this problem. Furthermore,what can our younger generations use since we use too much natural materialsbecause of lacking in attention to the environment?

（第三段貌似不能作为一个sub point。因为这个观点貌似是你要证明的主要的观点。）

To sum up, I would like to emphasize that it isnot a good way to develop economy without considering about environmentalissues. In this way, as I mentioned, the living standard is reduced(lowered), thedevelopment is negative(ly) influenced, and thelong-term development is damaged(觉得用affected会更符合逻辑). For those reasons, Icannot agree with such opinion.（我觉得不能直接说不同意。题目的问题是能不能，你回答不同意似乎不妥。）

晓野的野 · 发表于 2013-8-6 14:47:51

mk314400 发表于 2013-8-6 11:51
Nowadays,many countries, especially many developing countryies（拼写）, are trying their best to dev ...

谢谢MK~~~

晓野的野 · 发表于 2013-8-6 14:49:21

8月6日综合作文 TPO3 初版

In the lecture, the professor is skeptical about the idea of the reading passage that the portrait of a woman is not made by Rembrandt. The professor argues that after several examinations, the results show that the portrait is actually made by Rembrandt. Three evidences are offered to support the professor’s idea.

In the reading passage, it says that something is inconsistent about the way the woman in the portrait is dressed because she wears a collar that no servant can afford. On the contrary, the professor says that the fur collar was added after the portrait was made since someone wanted to increase the value of the portrait.

The professor then opposes reading passage's idea that light and shadow in the painting do not fit together, by stating that the woman wears light color clothes. And the light was reflected to the woman's face. In this way, it illuminated the woman's face. And as the matter of fact, it shows Rembrandt's skill of painting light and shadow.

Finally, the passage says that the portrait was painted on a panel of pieces of wood glued together, which is not consist of Rembrandt's way. However the professor points out that the wood panel was enlarged. The portrait was painted on a single piece of wood. In fact, the wood was very same as some other portraits of Rembrandt, the portrait of himself.

晓野的野 · 发表于 2013-8-6 18:45:16

8月6日独立作文

Which way do you think is the best for a student to make new friends? a. joining a sports team, b. participate in community activities, c. traveling

Students are always eager to make new friends, friends that they can share their feelings with, talk about various interests with and get help from. Speaking of the best way to make new friends among joining a sports team, participating in community activities and traveling, obviously I prefer traveling. Traveling owns many superior advantages over the rest ways. Several reasons will be offered in support of my opinion.

In the first place, people you meet during your traveling clearly have the same hobbies as yours since all of you are fond of going to somewhere you have never been to. Beautiful places you have been to, interesting persons you have met and tasty food you have had are good topics for your conversation. It is easy for you to start a talk since you have same hobbies and excellent topics. Also, you can even travel together, making your friendship tie stronger. Unlike the associations of friendship in traveling, the associations in sports team or community activities are always weak because people do not have strong willing to contact each other after the sports games or activities are finished.

Additionally, the friendship established during traveling can last very long because you and your new friend have experienced a lot. Assuming that you and your friend get lost in a strange place, both of you read the map careful, ask native people for advice and finally you find the right way. Experiencing hard ship together and trying to solve the problem together, you have gain precious experience and special memories, making your friendship last long.

Admittedly, all three ways mentioned before can make a student make new friends, but traveling make a student get more. Unlike joining sports team or participating in actives, traveling broaden a student's horizons and let a student learn something new. As the old saying goes, travel ten thousand miles and read thousand books. Traveling has significant importance for students.

To sum up, on the one hand, people met during traveling share many similar interests and can experience more. On the other hand, traveling not only brings new friends but also broaden students' horizon. Considering of some superior advantages that I have argued above, I am in support of traveling to be the best way for a student to make new friends.

晓野的野的作文贴【欢迎拍砖】【砖管够】【考前每日一练】

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