31号就考了，大家帮帮改改作文吧！——No. 93

我限时写的，不太好。为了模拟考试水平，也没修改。谢谢大家了！作文我一定得上28分！！！

还要继续努力！

No.93 Many students have to live with roommates while going to school or university. what are some of the important qualities of a good roommate? use specific reasons and examples to explain why these qualities are important.

When we begin our university life, almost all of us have to live on dormatories, sharing our room with someone we are not familiar. living a different life must be exciting, some people hold this point of view, But as time goes by, we would propably find that there are lots of  betweem us. Therefore, a question is being asked, what are the important qualities of a good roommate?

As far as I am concerned, a good roommate should be helpful. He should be willing to help others. When we encounter something emergent, it is probably the roommates who are the first people to know. Furthermore, roommates are the persons who lives with us, they must have more contacts with us. As the Chinese saying goes: Relatives who live far away from us are no better than the neigbors or roommates. Suppose you get a stomache at midnight, while your families live far away. Now the only person that could help you (sending you to the hospital) is your roommate.

What is more, a good roommate should respect other people’s privacy. Being your roommate means a person shares the same room with you. However, besides the room, scarcely can your roommate shares nothing other than your privacy, your living habits or even some of your secrets. Undoubtly, it is least pleasant to live with a person who like talking gossips, especially he/she does not care about our privacy and tells whoever are curious about it. When I live on the university dorm, all of my roommates and I respect each other’s privacy, and I am convinced that that is the reason we get along quiet well with each other.

In sum, there are actually numerous other qualities of a good roommates, such as honesty, humerous, considerate, etc. While when it comes to harmony , it is universally acceptly that the person that could be a good roommate should either help us or get along well with us, thus helpfulness and respecting the privacy should be put in the first place.

When we begin our university life, almost all of us have to live on(in) dormatories, sharing our room with someone we are not familiar(with). living a different life must be exciting, some people hold this point of view(用正常语序，这么说有点不伦不类）, But as time goes by, we would propably find that there are lots of  betweem us（？费解）. Therefore, a question is being asked, what are the important（升级词汇） qualities of a good roommate? （第一段表明观点，不过模棱两可）

As far as I am concerned, a good roommate should be helpful. He should be willing to help others. When we encounter something emergent, it is probably the roommates who are the first people to know. Furthermore, roommates are the persons who lives（live） with us, they must have more contacts with us（美国人不这么说，that is to say, we contact with each other most of the time.). As the Chinese saying goes: Relatives who live far away from us are no better than the neigbors or roommates. Suppose you get a stomache at midnight, while your families live far away. Now（At that time) the only person that could help you (sending you to the hospital) is your roommate.

What is more, a good roommate should respect other people’s privacy. Being your roommate means a person shares the same room with you. However, besides the room, scarcely can your roommate shares nothing other than your privacy, (such as or like)your living habits or even some of your secrets. Undoubtly, it is least pleasant to live with a person who like talking gossips, especially he/she does not care about our privacy and tells whoever are curious about it. When I live on the university dorm, all of my roommates and I respect each other’s privacy, and I am convinced that that is the reason we get along quiet well with each other.

In sum, there are actually numerous other qualities of a good roommates, such as honesty, humerous(sense of humor), considerate(consideration), etc. While when it comes to harmony , it is universally acceptly(accepted) that the person that could be(is即可） a good roommate should either help us or get along well with us, thus helpfulness and respecting the privacy should be put in the first place.

还有几个问题：

1.结尾不够有力

2.privacy那一段没有展开，并且两段有些少

3.文章最好用复数they，不要用you，这会导致heshe的混乱

还有几个问题：

1.结尾不够有力

2.privacy那一段没有展开，并且两段有些少

3.文章最好用复数they，不要用you，这会导致heshe的混乱

谢谢liaochen:-)