【写作小分队】易雨水巷的作文贴~求大地震式的轰炸~thx

易雨水巷

5月5日10.12.3 NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents should help children to do their work rather than encouraging them to do the work on their own. 这篇感觉直接写崩溃了。。。。。
As far as everyone knows, parents play an important role in educatiing children. Generally speaking, parents are faced with a dilemma wether they should to do a favor to children's work or just leave children to accomplish the work by themselves. People from all walks of life hold different views about this issue. Some may asserts that there is no denying that parents are supposed to give a hand to kids. Nonetheless, form my perspective, children ought to be encouraged to finish their assginment on their own istead of expecting for help from their parents. My statement can be substantiately supported by the following reasons.

To begin with, parents' encouraging kids to do work independently lead them to grow up a more competitive person in an fierce enivironment. That is to say, only an indepent person can surive a competitive society and this independecne can be cultivated by parents' corroct educational approach--encourage kids to do work on their own. To illustrate, a survey revealed that 90% celebreties are successful, which, in a large part, results from the habitate that their parents teached them to finish assignments by themselves when they are children.In brief, if parents want children to outstands from mass competitors, they will encourage children to do work on own as opposed to do a favorl.

Apart from that, another reason why I am back for the claim that parents ought to encourage children to accomplish assinments on own is that children have to learn how to take care of themselves isntead of relying on their parents every time they have an assignment. On one hand, parents will pass away in some day and they can not accompany their children all the time. Hence, children must be encouraged to learn how to do work by themselves or they will be starved to death without their parents by hand.  On the other hand, on one would like to make friends with those who even can not attent to themselves. For example, one of my classmate Lily owens few friends since she need someone else to assist her in everthing such as dressing, having a meal and so on.

Admittedly, without the help from parents, children are inclined to make mistakes. However, this evidencr can not be convincing enough to support the idea that parents should help children to do their work. After all, childhood itself is a period of making erroes in our life. The only thing we need to do is to learn from these errors and then to be more ameture. For instance, professor Robert once said in his class, "I made plenty mistakes in my childhood without my parents' help, but it is these erroes that teach me to be careful and avoid the same mistakes in the following days" .

In a nutshell, because of what I have mention above, I disagree the statement that parents should help children to do their work. In verse, in my opinion, parents ought to encourage kids to do the work on their own to grow up to be a competitive and independent person who can take good care of themselves.

易雨水巷

TO NIKA 木有拼写错误的真相是我用word检查了才Po上来的 字数足够的真相是写的时间超了30m 超了 一起加油吧 呵呵

TO 石头 谢谢夸奖我进步了，但我感觉我今天又杯具了， 人生啊 就不能洗洗变成喜剧么

To 刺猬  听力一直是硬伤啊硬伤 很纠结 继续练了吧 只能

lucystar2012

As far as everyone knows, parents play an important role in educatiing(educating) children. Generally speaking, parents are faced with a dilemma wether(whether) they should to do(do) a favor to children's work or just leave children to accomplish the work by themselves. People from all walks of life hold different views about this issue. Some may asserts(assert) that there is no denying that parents are supposed to give a hand to kids. Nonetheless, form(from) my perspective, children ought to be encouraged to finish their assginment(assignment) on their own istead(instead) of expecting for help from their parents. My statement can be substantiately(substantially) supported by the following reasons.

To begin with, parents' encouraging kids to do work independently lead them to grow up a more competitive person in an fierce enivironment.(Children independently doing their work can put themselves into a fierce environment where they can acquire strong personality.) That is to say, only an indepent(independent) person can surive(survive) a competitive society and this independecne can be cultivated by parents' corroct educational approach--toencourage kids to do work on their own. To illustrateit, a survey revealed that 90% celebreties(celebrities) are successful, which, in a large part, results from the habitate that their parents teached them to finish assignments by themselves when they are children.In brief, if parents want children to outstands(outstand) from mass competitors, they will encourage children to do work on theirown as opposed to do a favorl.

Apart from that, another reason why I am back for the claim that parents ought to encourage children to accomplish assinments on own is that children have to learn how to take care of themselves isntead of relying on their parents every time they have an assignment. On one hand, parents will pass away in some day and they cannot accompany their children all the time. Hence, children must be encouraged to learn how to do work by themselves or they will be starved to death(not live happily)without their parents by hand(in the side). On the other hand, on(删去) one would（wouldn't） like to make friends with those who even can not attent to(attend) themselves. For example, one of my classmate(classmates) Lily owens few friends since she need someone else to assist her in everthing such as dressing, having a meal and so on.

Admittedly, without the help from parents, children are inclined to make(making)mistakes. However, this evidencr cannot be convincing enough to support the idea that parents should help children to do their work. After all, childhood itself is a period of making erroes in our life. The only thing we need to do is to learn from these errors and then to be more ameture. For instance, professor Robert once said in his class, "I made plenty mistakes in my childhood without my parents' help, but it is these erroes that teach me to be careful and avoid the same mistakes in the following days" .

In a nutshell, because of what I have mention(mentioned) above, I disagree the statement that parents should help children to do their work. In verse(On the contrary), in my opinion, parents ought to encourage kids(kid) to do the work on their own to grow up to be(as) a competitive and independent person who can take good care of themselves (himself or herself）.

易雨水巷

我凌乱了  这就是我的错误啊 不检查的直接PO上来的结果
辛苦LUCYSTAR 啦O(∩_∩)O~

lucystar2012

可是你的作文还是很不错的~~只是有些着急的原因吧！ 我昨天是临睡觉前给你改了一下，黄色那句特别长的觉得还是有些别扭，你可以再斟酌一下~~
As far as everyone knows, parents play an important role in educatiing(educating) children. Generally speaking, parents are faced with a dilemma wether(whether) they should to do(do) a favor to children's work or just leave children to accomplish the work by themselves. People from all walks of life hold different views about this issue. Some may asserts(assert) that there is no denying that parents are supposed to give a hand to kids. Nonetheless, form(from) my perspective, children ought to be encouraged to finish their assginment(assignment) on their own istead(instead) of expecting for help from their parents. My statement can be substantiately(substantially) supported by the following reasons.

To begin with, parents' encouraging kids to do work independently lead them to grow up a more competitive person in an fierce enivironment.(Children independently doing their work can put themselves into a fierce environment where they can acquire strong personality.) That is to say, only an indepent(independent) person can surive(survive) a competitive society and this independecne can be cultivated by parents' corroct educational approach--toencourage kids to do work on their own. To illustrateit, a survey revealed that 90% celebreties(celebrities) are successful, which, in a large part, results from the habitate that their parents teached them to finish assignments by themselves when they are children.In brief, if parents want children to outstands(outstand) from mass competitors, they will encourage children to do work on theirown as opposed to do a favorl.

Apart from that, another reason why I am back for the claim that parents ought to encourage children to accomplish assinments on own is that children have to learn how to take care of themselves isntead of relying on their parents every time they have an assignment. On one hand, parents will pass away in some day and they cannot accompany their children all the time. Hence, children must be encouraged to learn how to do work by themselves or they will be starved to death(not live happily)without their parents by hand(in the side). On the other hand, on(删去) one would（wouldn't） like to make friends with those who even can not attent tothemselves. For example, one of my classmate(classmates) Lily owens few friends since she need someone else to assist her in everthing（many trivial matters） such as dressing, having a meal and so on.

Admittedly, without the help from parents, children are inclined to make(making)mistakes. However, this evidencr cannot be convincing enough to support the idea that parents should help children to do their work. After all, childhood itself is a period of making erroes in our life. The only thing we need to do is to learn from these errors and then to be more ameture. For instance, professor Robert once said in his class, "I made plenty mistakes in my childhood without my parents' help, but it is these erroes that teach me to be careful and avoid the same mistakes in the following days" .

In a nutshell, because of what I have mention(mentioned) above, I disagree the statement that parents should help children to do their work. In verse(On the contrary), in my opinion, parents ought to encourage kids(kid) to do the work on their own to grow up to be(as) a competitive and independent person who can take good care of themselves (himself or herself）
黄色就是基本单词错误以及句子错误，红色是语法上有问题，还有就是我改的一些。蓝色是我认为非常好的部分。
我第一次看别人的文章，觉得整体论述很好，正反都有。不过我想建议一下结构上，是否可以把第三段置于第二段前面一下，就是先基本独立到人际关系再到事业成功，前两者可以看做是最后一个的基础嘛~~嘿嘿。
加油！

易雨水巷

5.5 TPO6

In the reading, the writer contends online encyclopedias are less valuable than traditional encyclopedias with a couple of problems. However, in the lecture, the professor lends little credible supports for the statement.

To start with, it is said in the listening that it is a far critic that the online encyclopedias have errors. The tradition is not perfectly accurate. When the errors in the traditional encyclopedia may remain for decades, the online one can be corrected. This is the first point where the listening, on the contrary, conflicts with the reading.

Furthermore, another point that the professor uses to cast doubt on the reading by stating two strategies to resist hackers. Firstly, the online encyclopedia puts the entry in a read-only format. Secondly, there are special editors be a monitor and eliminate malicious changes to guarantee the online encyclopedia accurate. The reading, in contrast, holds an absolutely view about this point.

Finally, the lecturer points out that space is not an issue for online encyclopedia which indicates the reading proposing that online encyclopedia may do harm to users is dubious on the basis of the lecture. In light of the professor, the online encyclopedia actually reflects a various interests. This point, therefore, straightforwardly challenges what the passage shows.

Accordingly, the listening opposes the reading, it demonstrates the theory of the reading is open to doubt.

易雨水巷

5.6 TPO7


To begin with, the reading expresses that American consumers grant little trust to such a massive advertisement. However, on the contrary, the listening asserts that American do not treat all advertisement the same. Distinct clams made by the products on their own or a ecocertification from an international agency play an important role in consumers' attitudes. Ecocertification made by international agencies is more reliable and consumers react favorable because their trust worths.

In addition, the professor declares that although people all cares about prices. Nonetheless, a study reveals that the price becomes the key factor only when one's price is much high. If the price differenct is limitted to less 5%, consumers are inclined to purchase a more reliable product with a ecocertification. This is another point where the listening casts doubt on the reading.

Ultimately, the reading says that the statement that the cerfification is just useful for outported products. In contrast, the lecture contracts this declaration by stating that this ecocertification is used for a competition for products compared with imported products. If one products are introduced in America, they may sweep through the state.

易雨水巷

晓得嘞。 明天改 再次感谢lucystar2012  祝福你首战120+ O(∩_∩)O~

晨依Jacqueline

TPO7 综合
红色为错误，蓝色为疑惑建议，高亮为精彩！

强烈建议加一个有气势的开头统领全文让ETS评分的笨大叔们一眼就知道reading和listening讲的都是神马内容以及你这篇美文的中心思想。

To begin with, the reading expresses that American consumers grant little trust to such a massive advertisement. However, on the contrary, the listening asserts that American do not treat all advertisement the same. Distinct clams(claims?) made by the products on their own or a(n) ecocertification from an international agency play(s) an important role in consumers' attitudes. Ecocertification made by international agencies is more reliable and consumers react favorable because their trust worths(建议because it is trustworthy).

In addition, the professor declares that although people all cares about prices(句子不够完整). Nonetheless, a study reveals that the price becomes the key factor only when one's price is much high. If the price differenct(笔误啦~difference) is limitted(limited...我居然也一直以为双写t!!!!)to less(than) 5%, consumers are inclined to purchase a more reliable product with a(n)ecocertification. This is another point where the listening casts doubt on the reading.(我觉得还要写出一个点来就是认证了和没有认证的木材的价格差距正好处于5%以内。所以巴拉巴拉……)

Ultimately, the reading says that the statement that the cerfification is just useful for outported(exporting) products. In contrast, the lecture contracts this declaration by stating that this ecocertification is used for a competition for products compared with imported products. If one products are introduced in America, they may sweep through the state. (这一段的听力内容出现了一点偏差，应该是“如果美国的公司没有及时地抓住消费者，那么当国外的公司提供美国所没有的环保产品，他们可以很快递占领美国市场。”)

In General，易雨水巷的文笔很棒棒~遣词造句很有水平~唯一的就是听力内容再精细点就更好啦，加油↖(^ω^)↗。

lucystar2012

In the reading, the writer contends online encyclopedias are less valuable than traditional encyclopedias with a couple of problems. However, in the lecture, the professor lends little credible supports for the statement.

To start with, it is said in the listening that it is a far critic that the online encyclopedias have errors. The tradition is not perfectly accurate. When the errors in the traditional encyclopedia may remain for decades, the online one can be corrected（as soon as finding any mistakes）. This is the first point where the listening, on the contrary, conflicts with the reading.

Furthermore, another point that the professor uses to cast doubt on the reading（that anyone can revise any messages as they want） by stating two strategies to resist hackers. Firstly, the online encyclopedia puts the entry in a read-only format. Secondly, there are special editors be a monitor and eliminate malicious changes to guarantee the online encyclopedia accurate. The reading, in contrast, holds an absolutely view about this point.

Finally, the lecturer points out that space is not an issue for online encyclopedia which indicates the reading proposing that online encyclopedia may do harm to users(confuse people about what is important among massive information) is dubious on the basis of the lecture. In light of the professor, the online encyclopedia actually reflects a various interests(the most popular interests among people from more broaden horizon). This point, therefore, straightforwardly challenges what the passage shows

Accordingly, the listening opposes the reading, it demonstrates the theory of the reading is open to doubt

总体来看，三个点都指出来了，缺点是第三点表述不够明确。
不好意思，我拖沓了这么久给你回复~