Alex达不到29就是无。节。操。。。

chasedreamabc

5.5 独立

Currently, a large of parents help their children do assignments. Because parents maintain children are too young to finish works independently. However, I disagree with that those parents' behavior. I strongly support that children must do their works and parents can encourage the children only. I will give serval reasons as follows.

First, parents encourage children without help children do the assignments can develop the independently ability of children. That charismatic is an important ability for children. If they do have it, children may loss their jobs when children go into society. For instance, my friend Jim ,his parents help him finish his work, when he came to a company and he cannot do everything. After few days. At last , he was fired.

In addition, parents should encourage children to accomplish those own  working that can important children ability of solving problems. Figuring out problems can learn more knowledge from actual than from books. From example, I wanted to own a bank card as a high school student. My parents inspired me to apply the bank card all by myself. It was a first time I went to a bank. Although I was nervous talked with a staff to tell her what I wanted, I learned a capacity that communicate with strange people. And I knew how to apply a credit card. However, many college students cannot apply a credit card own.

Finally, when children do not want doing their work, parents should encourage them and find the reasons why children are not welling to do. For instance, sometimes children want to play games or watching TV, so they have no time to do work. At this time, parents should change their study attitude and let them finish their work then can do anything they want. Every once in a while, some school work are difficult to children, they lose their interest and confidence. At this time, parents should guide them to find answers not just give them answers directly. In this way, children not only get the answers but also get the ways of thinking from parents. Moreover, the discussion between parents and children can promote the emotional communication and parents can know more about thoughts.

In conclusion, to be good parents should give children confidence and sense of respirability and encourage them do work themselves.

喵喵了个咪

5.5独立改

Currently, a large of parents help their children do assignments. Because parents maintain children are too young to finish works independently. However, I disagree with that those parents' behavior. I strongly support that children must do their works and parents can encourage the children only. I will give serval(several) reasons as follows.

First, parents encourage children without help children do the assignments can develop the independently ability of children.(这句话主语太长，应该用it做实行主语，改变下句型。) That charismatic(这是个形容词) is an important ability for children. If they do have it, children may loss their jobs when children go into society. For instance, my friend Jim ,his parents help him finish his work, when he came to a company and he cannot do everything. After few days.(这句直接放到下句句末就行。) At last , he was fired.

In addition, parents should encourage children to accomplish those own  working that can important(improve) children ability of solving problems. Figuring out problems can learn more knowledge from actual than from books.(这句话主语有问题，学习知识的主体应该是children) From example, I wanted to own a bank card as a high school student. My parents inspired me to apply the bank card all by myself. It was a first time I went to a bank.Although I was nervous talked with a staff to tell her what I wanted,(Although I was nervous to talk to the staff what I wanted) I learned a capacity that communicate with strange people. And I knew how to apply a credit card. However, many college students cannot apply a credit card own(感觉应改成by their own).

Finally, when children do not want doing their work, parents should encourage them and find the reasons why children are not welling(willing) to do. For instance, sometimes children want to play games or watching TV, so they have no time to do work. At this time, parents should change their study attitude and let them finish their work then can do anything they want. Every once in a while, some school work are difficult to children, they lose their interest and confidence. At this time, parents should guide them to find answers not just give them answers directly. In this way, children not only get the answers but also get the ways of thinking from parents. Moreover, the discussion between parents and children can promote the emotional communication and parents can know more about thoughts.

In conclusion, to be good parents should give children confidence and sense of respirability and encourage them do work themselves.

总体来说文章没有结构上的问题。

问题出在一些句式上的错误和别词，细心点应该就能解决这些小问题了。

句子与句子之间的衔接很出彩！要向你学习！

chasedreamabc

5.7 独立
It is often said that a friend in need is a friend indeed. With the increasing social competition, people are much easier to get lost or feel frustrated in this more and more complicated world. Everyone needs assistance from intimate friends. And from my perspective, true friends are those who can really help us materially and mentally when we need them rather than those who can only share happiness with us.

Friends are those who can help you recover from the inside grief mood or accompany you through the most difficult part. In life, one will encounter various difficulties unavoidably, and a helping hand from our friends is necessary for us. Marx and Engels are best friends. When Marx was punished by the government and had to exile in Europe, it is always Engels who reached out his hand to help Marx. Engels sent money, wrote encouraging letters to Marx and help Marx finally come over the most difficult time. Friends like Engels are true friends who can help us indeed.

Friends are those with whom you can learn mutually. One can know better about one’s strength and shortness through his or her real friends. And one would always feel more encouraged every time he sees his friends’ toughness. In such a positive mutually studying way, we could bring out the best in each other. I also want to use the great friendship between Marx and Engels to illustrate this point. From their first meeting, they talked all kinds of political events and scientific and theoretical issues every day for 40 years, and established a sincere friendship. “Das Kapital”, which was the result of their great friendship as well as the sparks of their thoughts, dramatically astonishes generations of people by its deep insights.
Friends are those who give you suggestions but not flattering words. Friendships do not need please to maintain, they only require sincere love from both sides. A friend who really likes you would give his wholehearted suggestions when you did something inappropriate. Although sometimes the words they say may not be palatable, they are the ones who truly care about you. And friends who only try their best to entertain you can not be defined as TRUE friends.
In conclusion, friends are the most valuable treasure in our lives. So it is important for everyone to choose right friends. And based on the reasons above, the real friends are those who can facilities us in proper ways, but not just entertain us.

Friends are those who can help you recover from the inside grief mood or accompany you through the most difficult part. In life, one will encounter various difficulties unavoidably, and a helping hand from our friends is necessary for us. Marx and Engels are best friends. When Marx was punished by the government and had to exile in Europe, it is always Engels who reached out his hand to help Marx. Engels sent money, wrote encouraging letters to Marx and help Marx finally come over the most difficult time. Friends like Engels are true friends who can help us indeed.

maylovehe1

It is often said that a friend in need is a friend indeed. With the increasing social competition, people are much easier to get lost or feel frustrated in this more and more complicated world. Everyone needs assistance from intimate friends.(随着越演越烈的社会竞争,人们容易失去朋友/ 我觉得,你可以写,人们难以得到真正的朋友,表示对主体句的进一步解释和支持) And from my perspective, true friends are those who can really help us materially and mentally when we need them rather than those who can only share happiness(个人觉得happiness这个词不太合适，与文章主题的愿意不太相符) with us.

Friends are those who can help you recover from the inside grief mood or accompany you through the most difficult part. In life, one will encounter various difficulties unavoidably, and a helping hand from our friends（a…friend..） is necessary for us. Marx and Engels (good example!!!) are best friends. When Marx was punished by the government and had to exile in Europe, it is always Engels who reached out his hand to help Marx. Engels（not only） sent money, (but also)wrote encouraging letters to Marx and help Marx finally come over the most difficult time. Friends like Engels are true friends who can help us indeed.

Friends are those with whom you can learn mutually. One can know better about one’s strength and shortness through his or her real friends. And one would always feel more encouraged every time he sees his friends’ toughness. In such a positive mutually studying way, we could bring out the best in each other. I also want to use the great friendship between Marx and Engels to illustrate this point. From their first meeting, they talked all kinds of political events and scientific and theoretical issues every day for 40 years, and established a sincere friendship. “Das Kapital”, which was the result of their great friendship as well as the sparks of their thoughts, dramatically astonishes generations of people by its deep insights.


Friends are those who give you suggestions but not flattering words.Friendships do not need please to maintain, they only require sincere love from both sides. A friend who really likes you would give his wholehearted suggestions when you did something inappropriate. Although sometimes the words they say may not be palatable, they are the ones who truly care about you. And friends who only try their best to entertain you cannot be defined as TRUE friends.


In conclusion, friends are the most valuable treasure in our lives. So it is important for everyone to choose right friends. And based on the reasons above, the real friends are those who can facilities us in proper ways, but not just entertain us.

楼主词形变换 很强大, 比如说, flattering/ pleased/ entertain/......他们虽然意思不尽相同 但在lz的句子中可以很好的表达出观点. 此外,主题句比较鲜明和之后文章的连接比较流畅 蛮好 膜拜了

婷婷connie

5.7 独立
It is often said that a friend in need is a friend indeed. With the increasing social competition, people are much easier to get lost or feel frustrated in this more and more complicated world. Everyone needs assistance from intimate friends. And from my perspective, true friends are those who can really help us materially and mentally when we need them rather than those who can only share happiness with us.

Friends are those who can help you recover from the inside grief mood or accompany you through the most difficult part. In life, one will encounter various difficulties unavoidably, and a helping hand from our friends is necessary for us. Marx and Engels are best friends. When Marx was punished by the government and had to exile in Europe, it is always Engels who reached out his hand to help Marx. Engels sent money, wrote encouraging letters to Marx and help Marx finally come over the most difficult time. Friends like Engels are true friends who can help us indeed.

Friends are those with whom you can learn mutually. One can know better about one’s strength and shortness through his or her real friends. And one would always feel more encouraged every time he sees his friends’ toughness. In such a positive mutually studying way, we could bring out the best in each other. I also want to use the great friendship between Marx and Engels to illustrate this point. From their first meeting, they talked all kinds of political events and scientific and theoretical issues every day for 40 years, and established a sincere friendship. “Das Kapital”, which was the result of their great friendship as well as the sparks of their thoughts, dramatically astonishes generations of people by its deep insights.
Friends are those who give you suggestions but not flattering words. Friendships do not need please to maintain, they only require sincere love from both sides. A friend who really likes you would give his wholehearted suggestions when you did something inappropriate. Although sometimes the words they say may not be palatable, they are the ones who truly care about you. And friends who only try their best to entertain you can not be defined as TRUE friends.
In conclusion, friends are the most valuable treasure in our lives. So it is important for everyone to choose right friends. And based on the reasons above, the real friends are those who can facilities us in proper ways, but not just entertain us.

Friends are those with whom you can learn mutually. One can know better about one’s strength and shortness through his or her real friends. And one would always feel more encouraged every time he sees his friends’ toughness. In such a positive mutually studying way, we could bring out the best in each other. I also want to use the great friendship between Marx and Engels to illustrate this point. From their first meeting, they talked all kinds of political events and scientific and theoretical issues every day for 40 years, and established a sincere friendship. “Das Kapital”, which was the result of their great friendship as well as the sparks of their thoughts, dramatically astonishes generations of people by its deep insights.
Friends are those who give you suggestions but not flattering words. Friendships do not need please to maintain, they only require sincere love from both sides. A friend who really likes you would give his wholehearted suggestions when you did something inappropriate. Although sometimes the words they say may not be palatable, they are the ones who truly care about you. And friends who only try their best to entertain you can not be defined as TRUE friends.
In conclusion, friends are the most valuable treasure in our lives. So it is important for everyone to choose right friends. And based on the reasons above, the real friends are those who can facilities us in proper ways, but not just entertain us.

Friends are those who can help you recover from the inside grief mood or accompany you through the most difficult part. In life, one will encounter various difficulties unavoidably, and a helping hand from our friends is necessary for us. Marx and Engels are best friends. When Marx was punished by the government and had to exile in Europe, it is always Engels who reached out his hand to help Marx. Engels sent money, wrote encouraging letters to Marx and help Marx finally come over the most difficult time. Friends like Engels are true friends who can help us indeed.

Friends are those with whom you can learn mutually. One can know better about one’s strength and shortness through his or her real friends. And one would always feel more encouraged every time he sees his friends’ toughness. In such a positive mutually studying way, we could bring out the best in each other. I also want to use the great friendship between Marx and Engels to illustrate this point. From their first meeting, they talked all kinds of political events and scientific and theoretical issues every day for 40 years, and established a sincere friendship. “Das Kapital”, which was the result of their great friendship as well as the sparks of their thoughts, dramatically astonishes generations of people by its deep insights.
Friends are those who give you suggestions but not flattering words. Friendships do not need please to maintain, they only require sincere love from both sides. A friend who really likes you would give his wholehearted suggestions when you did something inappropriate. Although sometimes the words they say may not be palatable, they are the ones who truly care about you. And friends who only try their best to entertain you can not be defined as TRUE friends.
In conclusion, friends are the most valuable treasure in our lives. So it is important for everyone to choose right friends. And based on the reasons above, the real friends are those who can facilities us in proper ways, but not just entertain us.

Friends are those with whom you can learn mutually. One can know better about one’s strength and shortness through his or her real friends. And one would always feel more encouraged every time he sees his friends’ toughness. In such a positive mutually studying way, we could bring out the best in each other. I also want to use the great friendship between Marx and Engels to illustrate this point. From their first meeting, they talked all kinds of political events and scientific and theoretical issues every day for 40 years, and established a sincere friendship. “Das Kapital”, which was the result of their great friendship as well as the sparks of their thoughts, dramatically astonishes generations of people by its deep insights.
Friends are those who give you suggestions but not flattering words. Friendships do not need please to maintain, they only require sincere love from both sides. A friend who really likes you would give his wholehearted suggestions when you did something inappropriate. Although sometimes the words they say may not be palatable, they are the ones who truly care about you. And friends who only try their best to entertain you can not be defined as TRUE friends.
In conclusion, friends are the most valuable treasure in our lives. So it is important for everyone to choose right friends. And based on the reasons above, the real friends are those who can facilities us in proper ways, but not just entertain us.

-- by 会员 chasedreamabc (2012/5/8 7:26:24)

alex你这篇是怎么了？吓人~
还有，没有看到你的综合啊

chasedreamabc

5.7 综合

The lecture is mainly discussing the three points to complain that whether the memoir written by Chevalier was real. By challenging some evidence what is raised in the reading passages by some critics who question the authenticity of the memoir, the professor listing contradictory reasons to the reading.

First, in the reading, some critics pointed out that Chevalier may not very rich as he said in his memoir, for he had always borrow money from a Swiss businessman . The professor refute the statement by explain that although Chevalier was very rich, but he spent lots of money in all kinds of entertainments, which made him had to sell his assets to pay for the bill. It may need time to wait turnover.

Second, in the reading, some critics also questioned the accuracy of the conversation between Chevalier and Voltaire, for they think no one can remember the details of the dialogue several years before. In the lecture, the professor pointed out that Chevalier written down anything as possible as he can memory immediate after each conversion. So he can use the notes to help him to complete the memoir. To confirm what he said, the professor also quote another viewer’s words that he saw Chevalier often consult notes when he wrote his memoir, to convince it.

Finally, in the reading, some critics feel Chevalier may not break from prison as he said in his memoir, they rather believe that the reason of he had been released was his friend bribe the prison guard.But professor pointed out Chevalier escape from prison indeed, based on two proofs. For one reason, some prisoners in the Venice prison were more powerful than Chevalier, but they could not bribe for freedom, so Chevalier could not either. for another, according to the Venice government archives, after Chevalier’s escape, the prison repaired the jail cell where the Chevalier just lived, which could prove that Chevalier do escape from the Venice prison.

婷婷connie

5.7 综合 婷婷改的综合就贴在这里了~
5.7 综合

The lecture is mainly discussing the three points to complain that whether the memoir written by Chevalier was real. By challenging some evidences what is(are)raised in the reading passages by some critics who question the authenticity of the memoir, the professor listing contradictory reasons to the reading.

First, in the reading, some critics pointed out that Chevalier may not very rich as he said in his memoir, for he had always borrow(borrowed) money from a Swiss businessman . The professor refutes the statement by explain that although Chevalier was very rich, but he spent lots of money in all kinds of entertainments, which made him had to sell his assets to pay for the bill. It may need time to wait turnover.

Second, in the reading, some critics also questioned(之前用过了，换成challenges) the accuracy of the conversation between Chevalier and Voltaire, for they think no one can remember the details of the dialogue several years before. In the lecture, the professor pointed out(denotes) that Chevalier written（wrote） down anything as possible as he can memory immediate(immediately) after each conversion. So he can use the notes to help him to complete the memoir. To confirm what he said, the professor also quote another viewer’s words that he saw Chevalier often consult notes when he wrote his memoir,(delete the comma here)to convince it.

Finally, in the reading, some critics feel Chevalier may not break from prison as he said in his memoir, they rather believe that the reason of (that,婷婷认为of后面不能直接接一个句子)he had been released was his friend bribe the prison guard.But professor pointed out Chevalier escape（escaped） from prison indeed, based on two proofs. For one reason, some prisoners in the Venice prison were more powerful than Chevalier, but they could not bribe for freedom, so Chevalier could not either. for(For) another, according to the Venice government archives, after Chevalier’s escape, the prison repaired the jail cell where the Chevalier just lived, which could prove that Chevalier do escape from the Venice prison.



Conclusion：Alex的听力要点都有，需要注意的是时态和单复数。继续保持哦~

chasedreamabc

7.12 回归第一篇有点烂，2个月没写都不太会了

Courses play a great role on students. It can teach students a lot and give students more chances to talk with teachers and so forth. There are colorful curriculums in university and we student can choose many we like of them. Someone may choose less but some may choose more. As a result here comes a argument whether college or university should provide more courses to prepare students for the future before they start working. As far as I am concerned, students ought to take more courses, as for they can get more benefits from them.

The first and foremost advantage is students can practice their comprehensive abilities so that in the future they will be able to adapt to all kinds of jobs. In the modern worlds, no matter as the situation that people just possessing one kind of capacity can gain a lot from job, people must have categories of capabilities to make live. So if students can learn more courses, they will be in the ascendant, because their boss will be more content for their integrated abilities. For instance, my older cousin, now in the Lenovo Company, who used to major in computer program but studied psychology, administration, management and so on, makes a great success in his career. He is the model to be learned by most college students.



Furthermore, if college supply for more courses, so students will have more choices of their majority. Students are at sea when they enter college, and don’t know what they like or are interested in. In that manner, offering more courses can make students find what they are fond of so that they can know what they do in the prospective working. It means that college put students out of non-objective quagmire. You can image what will happen if a student is not able to find his or her love majority, he or she may experience college life in vain. People who know what they fall in love with can have motivation to study. A Chinese proverb goes: ambitions means motivation. So it can not be better for university to increase the diversity of courses



Finally, studying more courses means having more chances to get along with different students. Hence, students can make more friends; lead a more plentiful school life or even working life. For example, the constructor of Facebook Mark Zuckerberg studied many other curriculums besides his majority curriculums. The people he getting on with at that time become his partners and help him a lot. At the same time, students discussing in different class is good for their scholars, because they can listen more prospection from more students. Spontaneously, students will be better in their grades and competitive capacity. A prestigious survey shows that 83 percent student who take part in more classes get higher performance than students only study primary classes. What’s more, having more courses makes diffident students become outgoing, on account of they can meet more students and they must talk with them to accomplish presentation or other works


Therefore, universities should provide students with more courses before they leave university to ensure students are happy in their chosen career. It should also equip them with the skills they will need to do the job in order to decrease the stress of making the transition from full time education to working life.

hansxiao7

Hans第一次改，如有不当请指出Courses play a great role on students. It can teach students a lot and give students more chances to talk with teachers and so forth. There are colorful curriculums in university and we students can choose many we like of them(what we like如何？）. Someone may choose less but some may choose more.（前段的背景介绍可以更详细一点，更贴近题目一点，感觉和题目没有太大关系。比如说学校为了学生就业或者怎么样增加了毕业前的工作课程，否则下一句的AS A RESULT的ARGUE感觉无据可循了）As a result here comes a argument whether college or university should provide more courses to prepare students for the future before they start working. As far as I am concerned, students ought to take more courses, as for they can get more benefits from them.

The first and foremost advantage is students can practice their comprehensive abilities so that in the future they will be able to adapt to all kinds of jobs. In the modern worlds, no matter as the situation that people just possessing one kind of capacity can gain a lot from job, people must have categories of capabilities to make live. So if students can learn more courses, they will be in the ascendant, because their boss will be more content for their integrated abilities. For instance, my older cousin, now in the Lenovo Company, who used to major in computer program but studied psychology, administration, management and so on, makes a great success in his career. He is the model to be learned by most college students.



Furthermore, if college supply for more courses, so students will have more choices of their majority. Students are at sea when they enter college, and don’t know what they like or are interested in. In that manner, offering more courses can make students find what they are fond of so that they can know what they do in the prospective working. It means that college put students out of non-objective quagmire. You can image what will happen if a student is not able to find his or her love majority, he or she may experience college life in vain. People who know what they fall in love with can have motivation to study. A Chinese proverb goes: ambitions means motivation. So it can not be better for university to increase the diversity of courses



Finally, studying more courses means having more chances to get along with different students. Hence, students can make more friends; lead a more plentiful school life or even working life. For example, the constructor of Facebook Mark Zuckerberg studied many other curriculums besides his majority curriculums. The people he getting on with at that time become his partners and help him a lot. At the same time, students discussing in different class is good for their scholars, because they can listen more prospection from more students. Spontaneously, students will be better in their grades and competitive capacity. A prestigious survey shows that 83 percent student who take part in more classes get higher performance than students only study primary classes.（这样的例子是不错，但是我学新东方的时候老师说这种带数字的例子还是少编为好，容易露馅啊:-D） What’s more, having more courses makes diffident students become outgoing, on account of they can meet more students and they must talk with them to accomplish presentation or other works
（看了上面三段论证我私下认为楼主有点小跑题了。。。应该适当强调一下for future before they start working,如果忽略掉BEFORE START WORKING的话，会给人一种跑题的感觉。。。楼主三段都在论证more Courses对人的好处，稍微强调一下会更好）

Therefore, universities should provide students with more courses before they leave university to ensure students are happy in their chosen career. It should also equip them with the skills they will need to do the job in order to decrease the stress of making the transition from full time education to working life.
ABC写的很不错嘛，单词举例子什么的比我强多了%>_<%。不过下次要注意切题啊，多强调一下题目，不然就给我一种跑题的感觉^_^个人愚见而已

chasedreamabc

这篇是以前写过的，结合之前的修改意见再写一篇吧

The most important investment for a company is to spend money to improve the work skills of its employees.

A company needs to invest a lot of fields. Many people argue that the most significant investment that a company makes is to spend money enhancing the work skills of its employees. It is true that improving workers’ skills is essential because skills help to promote productivity and thus generate more profits. However, the investment in this field is by no means the most crucial investment decision. In fact, investments in research and development and advertising campaigns as well as employees’ salaries can be more important to the success of a company.

First of all, a company needs to invest huge amounts of money in research and development in order to keep its competitive edge in this fast-changing world. This is especially true when it comes to high-tech companies. More investments in research and development usually means more advanced technology and better products, which are more likely to be chosen and loved by consumers. For example, Apple and HTC are two high-tech companies which have been dedicated to research and development for recent years, and as a result of their efforts in this regard, their products outperform those of other companies in many ways. Consequently, they have become two of the top companies in the field of mobile phones. Clearly, research and development can be an area that deserves more investment than employees’ skills.

Another area worth investing in is advertising. This is because even if a company has highly skilled workers who are able to produce high-quality products or provide excellent services, this does not mean that what the company can offer will be known by consumers. In fact, in order to get these products and services better known, companies need to invest a great deal of money in advertising campaigns. Imagine two companies which can make products of similar quality. It would be reasonable to assume that the one that is willing to spend money on advertising has better chances to make their products known by potential customers and therefore have a larger market share. For such reasons, it may be more profitable for a company to spend money on advertising than on upgrading the skills of its employees.

Finally, the   the contemporary workers flow frequently. The liquidity of young employees are quite high, and so, improving their technology  skills will not necessarily to make sure that skills of the company improve.

In summary, I reaffirm my view that while spending money improving the skills of employees is essential, it is by no means the most important area to invest in. Research and development as well as advertising campaigns are at least equally, if not more, important than the improvement of workers’ skills.