TWE 127 修改了， 请指教

dengsida

127Do you agree or disagree reading fiction is more enjoyable than watching movies?

Some people believe that reading fiction is more enjoyable than watching movies, because they would like to appreciate details described in books. However, in my opinion, I prefer watching movies than reading fictions and my reasons go as follows.

The mainfirst(和后面的second呼应) reason is that watching movies is an essential way to reduce people's pressure. Nowadays, the fiery social competition pushes(forces会不会好些？) individuals to work so hard that they contribute most of their time to work towards a their career goals or study for further development. As a result, few people have plenty of time to enjoy any entertainment. Apparently, reading books, which consumes much time, probably cannot attract people that return from a whole day's work or study. For example, instead of reading the book of " the Lord of the Ring” which is totally about a thousand pages, lots of people tend to watch the movie. Not only does the film enable people to draw an outline of the story in a short time, but also provide them with spectacular images and amazing background music. The fantastic silver screen releases people from the tiredness of working and studying.

The second reason is that watching movies helps people to strengthen the relationship between family members or friends. In contrast, reading, which is always carried out by a single person, watching a movie, on the other hand, enables people to find various movies, presenting different themes and affections, to share with their families or friends. For instance, the movie "Tantanic", a romantic love story, is perfectly suitable for young couples. After watching the movie, they may find the true meaning of love and the significance of loving each other.

It should be admitted that reading fictions is somewhat superior to watching movies, since one can appreciate the brilliant words and sentences between lines(好像有点中国化，不确定英语里面是否这样说). However, (comparing or compared) to movies, those fictions cannot satisfy the requirements of most of the people due to the current social environment. Obviously, people obtain more benefits from watching movies than reading fictions.  

In conclusion, according to the reasons above, I am concerned that watching movies is more enjoyable than reading fictions, since movies play an important role in decreasing the pressure over individuals, and enhancing the affection among human beings.

[此贴子已经被作者于2005-4-2 13:56:09编辑过]

soaring

写得不错，2个小时。。。太长了点。。。

反复反复反复反复练习和修改。。。

加油！！！！

dengsida

如果手写的话， 这大概是多少分的水平啊？

hncsxj

以下是引用dengsida在2005-3-1 14:18:00的发言：

127Do you agree or disagree reading fiction is more enjoyable than watching movies?

Some people believe that reading fiction is more enjoyable than watching movies, because they would like to experience every details described in books. However, in my opinion, I prefer watching movies than reading fictions and my reasons go as follows.

The mainfirst(和后面的second呼应） reason is that watching movies is an essential way to reduce people's pressure. Nowadays, the social competition pushes individuals to work so hard that they contribute most of their time to work towards a their career goals or study for future (further是不是好点？） development. As a result, few people hardly (这里语法没错，个人觉得读起来有点别扭，试着这样改一下）have plenty of time to enjoy any entertainment. Apparently, reading books, which consumes much time, probably cannot attract people that return from a whole day's work or study. For example, instead of reading the book of " the Lord of the Ring” which is totally about a thousand pages, lots of people tend to watch the movie. Not only does the film enable people to draw a outline of the story in a short time, but also provide them with spectacular images and amazing background music. The fantastic silver screen releases people from the tiredness of working or(and好点） studying.

The second reason is that watching movies enables（helps, facilitate换个词) people to strengthen the relationship between family members or friends. As known, （不formal)reading is the work that is always carried out by a single person without any interactions with others, but people are able to find various movies presenting different themes and affections to share with their families or friends. For instance, the movie "Tantanic", a romantic love story, is perfectly suitable for young couples. After watching the movie, they may find the true meaning of love and the significance of loving each other.

It should be admitted that reading fictions is somewhat superior to watching movies, since one can appreciate the brilliant words and sentences between lines(好像有点中国化，不确定英语里面是否这样说）. However, compared to movies, those fictions cannot satisfy the requirement of most of the people due to the current social environment. Obviously, people obtain more benefits from watching movies than reading fictions.  

In conclusion, according to the reasons above, I am concerned that watching movies is more enjoyable than reading fictions, since movies play an important rollrole in decreasing the pressure over individuals, and enhancing the affection among human beings.

写得不错。

1。注意有些句子，短语明显来汉语直译。建议模仿平时阅读时遇到的好句子。还有参考别人得模版。推荐看看pumpkin的若干篇文章，把固定句式提出来。

2。注意单复数。

3。句子有时候是为复杂而复杂，结果导致意思不直白，读起来不流畅。非限制性定于从句，如果不是必要，不要到处都用。花2小时写的文章，可以过一段时间后自己再读一读，做做减法修改，有时候比写新的文章更有效。

dengsida

beg for pumpkin's TOEFL essay

nuli

不好意思,借问宝地一下.楼主你的文章怎么粘贴上来的,我怎么贴补上啊?

dengsida

我就是 用copy ，paste 直接把文章贴上去，  发帖子。

nuli

127Do you agree or disagreereading fiction is more enjoyable than watching movies?

Some people believe that readingfiction is more enjoyable than watching movies, because they would like toexperience every details described in books. However, in my opinion, I preferwatching movies than reading fictions and my reasons go as

                                                                                                              to               

follows.

The main reason is that watchingmovies is an essential way to reduce people's pressure. Nowadays, the socialcompetition pushes individuals to work so hard that they contribute most oftheir time to work towards a career goal or study for future development. As aresult, people hardly have plenty of time to enjoy any entertainment.Apparently, reading books, which consumes much time, probably cannot attractpeople that return from a whole day's work or study. For example, instead ofreading the book of " the Lord of the Ring” which is totally about athousand pages, lots of people tend to watch the movie. Not only the filmenable people to draw a outline of the story in a short time, but also providethem with

                                                 an

spectacular images and amazingbackground music. The fantastic silver screen releases people from the tiredness of working orstudying.

The second reason is thatwatching movies enables people to strengthen the relationship between family members orfriends. As known, reading is the work that

                                                                                                their relationship with familymembers or friends.                                

is always carried out by asingle person without any interactions with others, but people are able to findvarious movies presenting different themes and affections to share with theirfamilies or friends. For instance, the movie "Tantanic", a romantic

                                                                                                                                                  “Titanic”   

love story, is perfectlysuitable for young couples. After watching the movie, they may find the truemeaning of love and the significance of loving each other.

It should be admitted thatreading fictions is somewhat superior to watching movies, since one canappreciate the brilliant words and sentences between lines. However, comparedto movies, those fictions cannot satisfy the requirement of most of the

                                                                                                                                requirements of most people

people due to the current socialenvironment. Obviously, people obtain more benefits from watching movies thanreading fictions.  

In conclusion, according to thereasons above, I am concerned that watching movies is more enjoyable thanreading fiction, since movies play an important roll in decreasing the pressureover individuals, and enhancing the affection among human beings.

                                                                                                                                      affections

nuli

我明明加颜色了,怎么放上去没了?

hncsxj

以下是引用dengsida在2005-3-2 13:44:00的发言：
beg for pumpkin's TOEFL essay

你在TWE板块SEARCH作者是PUMPKIN的贴子，就可以找到。她的贴子题目很规范,一看就知道是写的哪一个题目