TWE062，请大侠帮忙看一下

joanrain

62. What do you want most in a friend — someone who is intelligent, or someone who has a sense of humor, or someone who is reliable? Which one of these characteristics is most important to you? Use reasons and specific examples to explain your choice.

What kind of friends do you want most? Different people have different answers according to their personal experience, character, and so on. As for me, I think the best merits of a friend are sincerity,intelligence,and humor.

First of all, a friend must be sincere, or he can never be a real friend. When I was in high school, I had a good friend with whom I'd like to share everything. I even let her read my diary. Unfortunately, it was found that many classmates had heard her telling stories of mine. As an old saying goes, the one that hurts you most is always the one knowing you most. Today I can still remember how painful I was then. Mutual sincerety, of course, is the foundation of friendship.

Secondly, a good friend should be intelligent because it is fantastic to exchage thoughts with an intelligent one. Such friends will bring you fresh ideas and help you a lot in the process of growing. When I was depressed by the studying conditions in my university, one of my best friends encouraged me by saying that nothing can cheat me out of ultimate success but myself. What's more, she helped me a lot in my research. I am really in full gratitude for having such a friend.

As life is tough, it is really great if friend is humorous. When I feel gloomy, I will choose to call some humorous friends who can always make me laugh. Life is much easier to sustain in such a humorous way. And it is true that one tends to be more optimistic if he has some humourous friends.

So, to sum up, an ideal friend should be sincere, intelligent and humorous. However, no one is perfect. Maybe we have one friend who is sincere and humorous but not intelligent, or a friend who is sincere and intelligent but not humorous, but this won't block our way to make friends with them. On one hand, we should be tolerant with our friends, on the other hand, we should also refine ourselves to be their good friends.

[此贴子已经被作者于2005-3-1 2:54:53编辑过]

brace

以下是引用joanrain在2005-2-24 5:57:00的发言：

62. What do you want most in a friend — someone who is intelligent, or someone who has a sense of humor, or someone who is reliable? Which one of these characteristics is most important to you? Use reasons and specific examples to explain your choice.

What kind of friends do you want most? Different people have different answers according to their personal experience, character, and so on. As for me, I think the best merits of friend are sincerity,intelligence,and humor.

First of all a friend must be sincere, or he can never be a real friend. When I was in high school, I had a good friend with whom I'd like to share everything. I even let her read my diary. Unfortunately, it was found that many classmates had heard her telling stories of mine. As an old saying goes, the one that hurts you most is always the one knowing you most. Today I can still remember how painful I was then. Mutual sincerety, of course, is the foundation of friendship.

Secondly, a good friend should be intelligent because it is fantastic to exchage thoughts with an intelligent one. Such friends will bring you fresh ideas and help you a lot in the process of growing. When I was depressed by the studying conditions in my university, one of my best friends encouraged me with saying that nothing can cheat me out of ultimate success but myself. What's more, she helps me a lot in my research. I am really in full gratitude for having such a friend.

As life is tough, it is really great if friend is humorous. When I feel gloomy, I will choose to call some humorous friends who can always make me laugh happily at last. Life is much easier to sustain in such humorous way. And it is true that one tends to be more optimistic if he has some humourous friends.

So, to sum up, an ideal friend should be sincere, intelligent and humorous. However, no one is perfect. Maybe we have one friend who is sincere and humorous but not intelligent, or a friend who is sincere and intelligent but not humorous, but this won't block our way to make friends with them. We must be tolerant with our friends, moreover, we should also refine ourselves to be good friends of them.

I think it is well written.

joanrain

请问有什么需要修改的地方吗？

brace

您放在WORD里面先检查拼写错误。

lawyer_1

结构清晰，说理充分，但语法有多处错误。有些还比较严重，认为介于4-5分之间。如果将语法错误改过来，将一些表达润色润色，应该是篇5-6分的作文。

[此贴子已经被作者于2005-2-27 10:41:14编辑过]

joanrain

啊，语法错误？我看看，先bow啦

brace

先查查拼写错误， 然后查语法错误。 然后REPHRASE。 修改句子。 最怕就是写完了就扔了， 不管了， 就白写了。

joanrain

大虾，帮我看看修改后的文章吧

soaring

mm修改后的在哪里哦？

huhaonic

嗯 我的意见是如果把握不准，情愿写简单句也不要乱写一些复杂句，那样反而适得其反。