twe91 基本卡时间写的，改了一些明显的错字

yellowdriver

也觉得这类题目比较难弄，请各位多多指教。。。

91 If you could ask a famous person one question, what would you ask? Why? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

If I had a chance to ask a famous person one question, I would ask him what relationship he believes should be between famous persons and common people in today's society. I suppose this is an interesting and significant question to most of people and my views will be elaborated as follows.

There is no denying that in today's society, famous persons such as noted musicians, big names in sports, eminent political persons and so on, are getting more and more important role. The impact of these persons not only influences most youths but also many adults. For instance, a few weeks ago television reported a Canadian senator was caught by stealing some jewelry at a department store. The case was not a very serious one if it is just happened to an average person. But for a public individual, this senator has to face great pressure from almost whole Canadian, especially those people in his own election area. And obviously, this simple case greatly impacts most people's life just due to it happened to a famous person.

On the other hand, many famous persons now complain that they have little private space of themselves. This point maybe is another side of the same question, of which the relationship between famous persons and common people becomes tighter than before. Increasing people have great curiousness about everything of famous persons. Many of them hold this would be an effective means to grasp the fashion idea of modern society or main thoughts of other people so they could keep up with it. Sometimes these actions seem a little immoderate and play a negative effect in the relationship of two sides.

In conclusion, based on the discussions presented above, people should pay more attention on how to deal with the relationship between famous persons and common ones. This would be more meaningful than just getting to know what a noted man do in these days.

[此贴子已经被作者于2005-2-21 9:45:26编辑过]

pengstone

写得不错。观点很吸引人，语言上再改改。比如The impact of these persons not only influences most youths but also many adults。下划线部分感觉重复了。

yellowdriver

thx a lot!

观点是照搬菜袅作文的了。想得自己头大。。。

改：These persons influence not only  most youths but also many adults.

[此贴子已经被作者于2005-2-21 9:43:45编辑过]

westlakegz

粗略看了看，楼主最好能避免重复用词，例如famous persons－－》celebrity。在文章开头两段就重复用了in today's society，这样拿高分比较难。另外有些句子意思表达不是很地道，如famous persons such as noted musicians, big names in sports, eminent political persons and so on, are getting more and more important role

[此贴子已经被作者于2005-2-22 1:35:38编辑过]

yellowdriver

语言表达方面一定错漏不少，麻烦多多指教了。

----这样改不知可否：....are playing more and more important role.

----另外：属于文章论点的相关词语，比如这里的famous person不换，主要是觉得换的话，怕论证起来有时会产生混淆，不知道这种情况各位有何高见啊？或者也是要多点变化容易加分？