angla 姐姐的作文楼

angla

TPO12的综合我写过了，不好意思，不用改了

echosun2002

Nowadays, the students have chance to choose their dream school.they usually select one after comparing it with many others.the university(universities) also improve their fame through many ways. To attract the excellent students, they prefer to spend enormous sum of money to organize the social practical work.for my perspective, this strategy is beneficial for both students and the university.

To begin with, social practice can improve the competence of the students. In the inter job, the students can use the knowledge studied in college courses to the practical work. This experience can help students to apply for a appealing formal job or apply for(建议删掉，和前面的动词一样) a higher education chances. In my experience, before I graduated from the college, the university gives us an inter job chance to work in a famous hospital for half a year. In that period, I used the knowledge to（第二次使用use  to，建议换成其他词组） my daily work, which enhances my skills greatly. After my graduation, I took part in the interview of a Top 500 company. The chief valued my working experience in this period, and eventually gave me the chance to join Pfizer.

On the other hand, university（universities可数名词不可单独出现） also can take advantage of practical job chance to keep (a) good cooperation relationships with companies.university(universities) need chance to sent their students to remarkable companies. Meanwhile, the company needs outstanding talents to work for them. This relationship will benefit the both sides. For instance, UIBE,a finance university which is not very famous, has a frame agreement with Big Four that all the students can be sent to Big four to be intern and if the students have a excellent performance(主语和宾语单复数要保持一致) in their intern period, they can get formal job chance after graduation. that means, students who choose to study in UIBE has(have) almost already entered the Big Four. For such a good job chance, many preeminent students choose enter UIBE with no hesitate.this cooperation greatly increases the attraction of the university.题目是大学为了吸引好学生投入大量成本在社会实践，第二段的主题句是学校可以利用社会实践保持与企业的良好合作从而受益感觉和题目关系较远，从后面看是学校保持与企业的关系，从而学生可以获得工作机会，从而达到吸引学生的目地，其实是和题目吻合的，建议主题句能够体现关键的观点。

In the nutshell,organizing the practical work for students will both improve the skills of the graduated students and influence the students’ employment chances directly. Universities who wanted to attract more outstanding students can use this strategy.

angla

23日独立

With the economic progressing by leaps and bounds,  the issue of people’s living style has drawn widespread attention.the way people kill their leisure time varified.people have more income than 20years ago to afford variety of creation activities,which include enjoying a massage, going to KTV with friends,  playing games on internet and going to coffee bars etc. However, for all these changes, people also are faced with losing more chance to obtain real rest. Honestly, I don’t share their point of view that people have more time to relax than 20 years ago.

To start with, It is this information explosion age that causes us to keep tension all the time and lose the chance to calm the nerves and restore the soul. The science and technology not only change our lives but also ruin our lives. Can you remember that how much time you spend on updating your Facebook contents and looking around information about others? And how much time you soak on the internet just read some of entertainment star’s box news? And how many interrupt commercial calls you have to accept and answer. All of these activities lead our working low efficiency. As the result, we have less time to concentrate on our study and work. That is to say, the reality is that people have less time to rest. In my experience, if I want to implement a essential task—TOEFL exam preparation— in a short time, i will try to cut off all connection with outside, such as getting rid of internet,forbidden myself from blogs or reject all strange calls. Accordingly, I feel more easily to complete study task and more time to relax.

Further,  nowadays peer competition is more fierce, people less intend to enjoy their leisure time than they did 20 years ago. As the market-oriented economy developed, the wealth gap between rich and poor enlarge, which cause people loose their psychological balance and a large portion of people struggle to keep up with the joneses. Due to this concept, many people endeavor to study or accept training to recharge. Besides, they also spend a lot of time in social intercourse to seek more chance to be successful. Ultimately, people loose time to have a leisure time with their family and relax themselves. Myself is a typical example.20 yeas ago, I lived in village.the life is simple and without any sorrow and anxiety, and in every night I had a sweet dream. Oppositely, I have to busy with working, studying English, applying for MBA, managing my money and my house, keep good relationship with all customers and social team,etc. Currently, I have seriously less leisure time than before.

Based on the argument offered above. I concede today’s creation is colorful, but the real leisure time is obviously less than 20years ago.

muluobinglan

不好意思 改的晚了 而且我用word 改的 有些高亮什么的可能粘过来就木有了  ...我是第一次用 下次注意

muluobinglan

With theeconomic progressing by leaps and bounds, the issue of people’s livingstyle has drawn widespread attention. the way people kill their leisure time verified(varied). people have more income than 20years ago toafford variety of creation activities, which include enjoying a massage, goingto KTV with friends,  playing games on the internet and going to coffee bars etc. However, for all these changes, people also are faced with losing morechance to obtain real rest. Honestly, I don’t (do not一般书面语不用缩写)share their point of view thatpeople have more time to relax than 20 years ago.

etc用法的话,应该是a,b,c,etc. 就不用and 了

而且 题目是 20年后 人们有更多的时间来休息

To startwith, It is this (a) information explosion age 或者是 in this information explosion age 加完整句子 that causes us to keep tension allthe time, and lose the chance to calm the nerves and restore the soul.The science and technology not only change our lives but also ruin our lives.Can you remember (可能用do you realize 好点)that how much time you spend on updating your Facebook contents and lookingaround information about others? And how much time you soak on the internet just read someof entertainment star’s box news? And how many interrupt commercial calls you have to acceptand answer. All of these activities lead our working low efficiency. As the a result, we have less time toconcentrate on our study and work. That is to say, the reality is that peoplehave less time to rest. In my experience, if I want to implement a essentialtask—TOEFL exam preparation— in a short time, i will try to cut off allconnection with outside, such as getting rid of internet,forbidden myself from blogs or reject all strange calls. 不平行 Accordingly, I feel more easily to complete study task and more time to relax. (还是and平行不对 或者说it is easier for me toconcentrate so that I can …我觉得这么说会比较容易做到平行 )

Further, nowadayspeer competition is more fierce, people less intend to enjoy their leisure timethan they did 20 years ago. ( are less intended to do 应该是，或者have less intension; 这句话没有连词)As the market-orientedeconomy developed, thewealth gap between rich and poor enlarge, which cause people to loose theirpsychological balance and a large portion of people struggle to keep up withthe joneses. Due to this concept,many people endeavor to study or accept training to recharge.(due to 加the concept很奇怪，前一句的which cause ..太长反而不够清晰明确 建议两句话再重新整合一下) Besides, they also spend a lot of time in social intercourse （我觉得networking 会比较地道 ） to seek more chance to be successful. Ultimately, people loose （lose）time to have a leisure time withtheir family and relax themselves. (lose time to spendtime…有语病)Myself is a typical example.20 yeas ago, I lived in village. the lifeis simple and without any sorrow and anxiety, and in every night I had asweet dream. Oppositely, I have to busy with working, studying English,applying for MBA, managing my money and my house, keep good relationship withall customers and social team,etc.(还是etc用法 还有这句动词不对) Currently, I have seriously lessleisure time than before. 我觉得用much less time 就好 seriously有点奇怪

Based on the argument offeredabove. I concede today’s creation iscolorful, but the real leisure time is obviously less than 20years ago.

总的来说，可能是因为写得比较着急， 大小写不太注意。而且题目看错了， 然后平行， 动词用法也要注意…

chasedreamabc

Please recall the the the plot of Princes Sisi,an elegant, gentle and vivid beautiful girl, has impressed many younger and is the dream lover of one generation. It is her graceful temperament and polite manner win every one’s heart. However, nowadays, many young people lack of study about ritual. In addition, the working stress makes people irritating and the information technology lets people indifferent to social relation. Thus, people became rude to another, the courtesy fade away.but, actually ,there is no benefit to be rude to others.

To start with, rude attitude will inevitably hinder the development of congenial relationship with others. As a result, loose many good chance of cooperation or promotion. My friend, Jenny is a typical example.she is skilled and bright. When coping with every project, she amplifies her efforts to accomplish it. unfortunately, she only has one weakness—can’t control her emotion, that to say, sometimes be rude to others, who including customers, peers, bosses. It’s frequent to hear the criticism related to her. This shortcoming largely impede her promotion. Furthermore, there is a proverb that Thousands miles river levee collapse in ants. Sometimes when you do everything perfect but a rude manner, eventually, you will lose all. To build up friendship necessitate several years.oppositely, destroy one just need 1 minute.

On the other hand,a rude manner will surely broke one’s personal image. Rude manner, i.e. loosing temper usually, unavoidable reveals a image of superficial, ill breeding, illiteracy etc. Once those who are labeled with these characteristics, they are easily isolated by others.all the people want to make friends with someone bringing about happiness,but arguments.no one is an exception. Moreover, if the rude manner happens in public place, especially in foreign country, national spirit will be destruct. several days ago, two Korea quarrel with a Chines shop assistant and abuse them with dirty word. Soon afterwards, a news report present in mass media, the name of article is Rude Korea. Which seriously destroy the country’s image.

Besides, rude manner also make us loose the ethic and traditional virtue. Specifically, China is a country with ancient civilization and ceremony. Those are cultural heritage from our ancestors.we should inherit these culture essence. Keeping away from rude manner is essential.

Based on all reasons offered above,rude manner totally harm to everything.there is never reason to rude to another.

angla

the reading passage focus on the issue of the origin of the odd sound 'quackers'. it points out that there are three possible theories to explain. however, the professor of the lecture contradicts these three theories and states that all of them are problematic.

first, even though the theory is sounds reasonable that the sound is used to call male and female by ocra whales, because this detected odd sound resemble the sound they attract a male in the research.the professor points out that this theory is unwarranted. the ocra whales activate on the surface of the ocean, the submarine sonar is impossible to  detect the surface sounds. besides,the whales sound could have been detected by Russian sonar is they are nearby.

second, another theory in the reading passage is that the sound is caused by giant squid, because they have complex brain.it is possible that they cause the sound when they chase other submarines. the professor points out the paradox of the time.the sound was detected in 20years,buy suddenly disappear in 1980.however, the giant squid has been living here consistently.

finally,the passage also speculate the third theory that the sound originate from military technology. the reason is that some foreign military using the technology specifically to  designed the sound undetected. the professor also refute this theory as can not be hold up.the evidence is that the sound move quickly and change director frequently,no technology is available to have this characteristic.moreover,if a machine emits the sound, it will make a company noise and no accessible engine can work as that fast and that silent.

angla

In our lives,we frequently confront poverty, illness,and suffering.when we are forced to in those predicament, from who you expect to acquire the supports? Some are inclined to seek help from government; some believe the only person can be relied on is himself; and, another anchor their hopes on their family.in my opinion, I suggest to ask for help from government, not your own and your family.

To begin with, we need know, asking for help can do harm to you and your family more or less. Keeping good relation with family is for sake of family bounds for us. Everyone should shoulder the responsibility of life for himself. If you constantly have recourse to you family, such as borrowing money, you will broke your relationship sooner or later. Moreover, this sense will prevent you to be a independent person.as a result ,you will not only fail to succeed, but also loose the mutual respects with your family. in my experience, I was profoundly understanding this truth. Or to say, it is one lesson for me. I have taken care of my younger brother for many years.I subsidized his college and often helped him to find a good job. Consequently, he got a common sense that I always give him infinite help. He was more and more lazy; whenever and wherever possible to ask for help. One day, i came to realize my mistake and refuse to offer any help. From then on, he began to hate me. for him, this experience is also suffering. he lost trust and respect from his family and harm to his growth up.

In other hand, just addressing everything by yourself is not the better measure too. Some achievements can not be reached lacking others help,e.g. Buying a house, establishing a company, paying the exorbitant price of MBA tuition etc. Rely on yourself? You surely loose the best opportunity for your life.we should not be tied down by the traditions of past. Only appeal to government, could you fulfill your dream.

Finally, except the concerning mentioned above, relying on government has other important macro significance.for example, loan from government was to incite the citizen’s demand, hence, flourish the nation’s economy.  For the same token, government offering help to citizens also is to address the unemployment and develop Social Security, which are the representation of democratic and progressive of government.

In conclusion, asking help form government,but not family or yourself is the best way to resolve you problem.

echosun2002

In our lives,we frequently confront poverty, illness,and suffering.when we are forced to in those predicament, from who you expect to acquire the supports? Some are inclined to seek help from government; some believe the only person can be relied on is himself; and, another anchor their hopes on their family.in my opinion, I suggest (to ask) asking for help from government, not your own and（or,不是A，也不是B，应该是not A or B） your family.

To begin with, we need (to) know, asking for help can do harm to you and your family more or less. Keeping good relation with family is for (the)sake of family bounds for us. Everyone should shoulder the responsibility of life for himself. If you constantly have recourse to your family, such as borrowing money, you will (broke)break your relationship sooner or later. Moreover, this sense will prevent you (to)from being (be) (a)an independent person.as a result ,you will not only fail to succeed, but also (loose)lose the mutual respects with your family. in my experience, I was profoundly understanding this truth. Or to say, it is one lesson for me. I have taken care of my younger brother for many years.I subsidized his college and often helped him to find a good job. Consequently, he got a common sense that I always give him infinite help. He was more and more lazy; whenever and wherever possible to ask for help. One day, i came to realize my mistake and refuse to offer any help. From then on, he began to hate me. for him, this experience is also suffering. he lost trust and respect from his family and harm to his growth up.

In other hand, just addressing everything by yourself is not the better measure too. Some achievements can not be reached lacking others help,e.g. Buying a house, establishing a company, paying the exorbitant price of MBA tuition etc. Rely on yourself? You surely loose the best opportunity for your life.we should not be tied down by the traditions of past. Only appeal to government, could you fulfill your dream.第二段主要写光靠自己不行，最后一句写了一下只有求助政府才能实现梦想，论证不够充分。

Finally, except the concerning mentioned above, relying on government has other important macro significance(这个主题是要写出为什么不要向家人求助而是向政府求助，第一部分很丰满，但是向政府求助的益处着墨较少，最后这个写了依靠政府另外一点重要意义，但是没有看到前面一点重要意义。).for example, loan from government was to incite the citizen’s demand, hence, flourish the nation’s economy.  For the same token, government offering help to citizens also is to address the unemployment and develop Social Security, which are the representation of democratic and progressive of government.

In conclusion, asking help form government,but not family or yourself is the best way to resolve you problem.

橙圆

改好 姐姐平时写的时候可能没有注意标准和大小写这些小问题