slave918的作文贴

xiaofan0205

People are all pursuing something in their whole life, including Money, power, happiness, love, etc. In my views, the most desirable thing that people want is public recognition. Of course, it is far more important than money because public recognition can bring something that money cannot.

First and foremost, public recognition can harvest a lot of things, among which the most essential one is trust. Can money buy trust from others? The answer would be an obvious no. For example, when Obama championed for the president of America, He won it because people trust him not because he has money. He earned the trust by repeated advertisement, debate, and presentation. That's how he makes people recognized. The people who have money can support Obama, but they can never be the president of America, the most powerful man in the free world. Thus, we can see that why someone would do what they can do to build his/her reputation instead to earn money.

Furthermore, public recognition would bring an individual a lot of happiness which money can't buy. Imaging when you are young, it would be terrific, if your teacher told you that you did an excellent job. Getting people recognized is a kind of intrinsic lust of humans. If an individual did the greatest thing in the world but people wouldn't know it, it wouldn't be happy but sorrowful. For example, I took a marathon when I was in college. My classmates all worried about my endurance because once I easily gave up my debating game. When I cross the final line, they looked at me excited. They eventually admitted that I can do things consistently. I was quite happy in that moment because it is gorgeous when people considered you （as） a reliable person.

Of course, with money an individual can do a lot of things, it is very tempting to all of us. But public recognition doesn't means that you are goanna be poor. On the country（contrary）, with public recognition, one is more likely to be wealthy. For example, an individual usually have the chances to show on the TV. He/she can write autobiography and people would be willing to buy it. Corporation would like to invite famous people to endorse its products.

After rumination all the factors, we can easily reach the conclusion that public recognition is more important than money. Even an individual is very wealthy. He/she can't earn the trust from others. Even an individual is surrounded by gold, he/she wouldn't be happy without others appreciation.

总的来说写的很好，用词和造句都能看出写作功力，可改的部分不多，值得学习！
红色是几个小的错误，蓝色是一些重复的用词，可以考虑换换其他的词，黄色是我觉得用词很到位的地方。

slave918

xiaofan0205 发表于 2014-7-27 00:07
People are all pursuing something in their whole life, including Money, power, happiness, love, et ...

thanks so much

slave918

7.28 独立

Sharing our feelings with others is one of many intrinsic want of humans. Taking about the impression of someone is really a good topic when people are boring. But in my views, individuals should be careful when we are discussing others. Especially, when you cannot say anything nice about someone, you'd better not say anything.

First and foremost, when your mind is only occupied by the negative impression of someone, you often don’t know him/her well. An individual must have some positive characteristics or sophisticated skills. Sometimes, if you hate someone, you are not goanna see these merits and you are not objective anymore. For instance, when I was in high school, I didn't like my chemistry teacher because she was very easily infuriated and had no patient to students. No matter how perspicuous she taught in the class, I didn't like her gesture, voice, and dressing. However, my friend informed me that her knowledge is broad and her method of teaching is terrific. I started to realize that it is my prejudice to her that made me ignoring all the merits she has. Thus, don't make some premature justice on someone until you really know him/her.

Furthermore, making a negative comment without praises on others would make a bad impression not only to the man you comment on but to the man you talk with. It is certainly not a noble behavior to remark others not in front of him/her. People would wonder that you are definitely not a reliable man to trust. For example, when my friend Tom told me that he didn't like Jim and made a bunch of bad remarks on him, I just started to worry if I accidently annoyed Tom, would he just told others how selfish am I or comment on me, too? From that moment, I become careful to share my thoughts with him. So if you want your friend to trust you, you should be cautious to make negative comments on others.

After rumination of all the factors, we can see that never make an announcement, telling others that you don't like someone until you know that man well. Or by doing so, your reputation would be contaminated by your undue behavior.

GJason

Sharing our feelings with others is one of many intrinsic want(wants) of humans. Taking about the impression of someone is really a good topic when people are boring(people用代词指代是否更好，否则本句逻辑关系似乎存在问题). But in my views, individuals should be careful when we are discussing others. Especially, when you cannot say anything nice about someone, you'd better not say anything.

First and foremost, when your mind is only occupied by the negative impression of someone, you often don’t know him/her well. An individual must have some positive characteristics or sophisticated skills. Sometimes, if you hate someone, you are not goanna see these merits and you are not objective anymore. For instance, when I was in high school, I didn't like my chemistry teacher because she was very easily infuriated and had no patient to students. No matter how perspicuous she taught in the class, I didn't like her gesture, voice, and dressing. However, my friend informed me that her knowledge is broad and her method of teaching is terrific. I started to realize that it is my prejudice to her that made me ignoring all the merits she has. Thus, don't make some premature justice on someone until you really know him/her.

Furthermore, making a negative comment without praises on others would make a bad impression not only to the man you comment on but to the man you talk with. It is certainly not a noble behavior to remark others not in front of him/her. People would wonder that you are definitely not a reliable man to trust（建议删除）. For example, when my friend Tom told me that he didn't like Jim and made a bunch of bad remarks on him, I just started to worry if I accidently annoyed Tom, would he just told others how selfish am I or comment on me, too? From that moment, I become careful to share my thoughts with him. So if you want your friend to trust you, you should be cautious to make negative comments on others.

After rumination of all the factors, we can see that never make an announcement（从句结构似乎不完整）, telling others that you don't like someone until you know that man well. Or by doing so, your reputation would be contaminated by your undue behavior.

slave918

7.30 独立
Agree or disagree:
Technology designed to make people’s lives simpler actually often turns out to make people’s lives more complicated.

I certainly contends that the technology perfect the life of ourselves by bring people so much convenience. The technology has always been developing in human society, simply because the want of people can never be fulfilled. People want simple things. That's why some people dedicate their lives to work and study. Thus, people in modern society can enjoy so many pleasures brought by previous people.

First and foremost, the development of industry technology enormously decreases the labor we need to make a product. In the past, if people want to make something, it would certainly consume a lot of energy, because the products made by human are all artifacts. However, in modern society, many advanced facility also take part in the process of manufacture. For example, in the past, people can produce 10 papers in one day. They would process the trees and leaves they collected and use special instruments to press the processed materials. On the contrary, modern people would resort to the power of charcoal, oil and electron. They just collect the trees and put them into the machine. Then the machine would produce 10,000 papers in one day, by following the steps set by humans.

Furthermore, the development in information technology changed the life style of humans dramatically. The most notable innovation is internet which purely strength the convenience of our lives. Let me take my own experience as an example. Using internet, I would like to communicate people in other counties to practice my English and broaden my horizon. Also, I would like to promote myself to companies by sending them an E-mail to introduce myself. Nevertheless, when I get lazy, it is very easy to buy clothes and other commodities in the online shopping mall. Certainly, I can't live like this if I lived in 100 years ago.

Of course, it is undeniable that little part of our life gets more complicated. For instance, people enjoy more entertainment ways by watching movies, playing video games and etc, people have more choices to transport, including train, bus, plane and boat, and people have more subjects like chemistry, economics, physics and so one. However, we can still not conclude that the technology complicate our life more than simplify out life.   

After rumination all the factors, we can harvest the conclusion that the technology simplify our lives through the industry technology and the information technology.[words:397]

Terry95

slave918 发表于 2014-7-30 21:18
7.30 独立
Agree or disagree:
Technology designed to make people’s lives simpler actually often tu ...

7.30 独立
Agree or disagree:
Technology designed to make people’s lives simpler actually often turns out to make people’s lives more complicated.

I certainly contends （contend) that the technology perfect (perfects) the life of ourselves by bring (bringing) people so much convenience. The technology has always been developing in human society, simply because the want(wants) of people can never be fulfilled. People want simple things. That's why some people dedicate their lives to work and study. Thus, people in modern society can enjoy so many（much) pleasures brought by previous people.

First and foremost, the development of industry technology enormously decreases the labor we need to make a product. In the past, if people want to make something, it would certainly consume a lot of energy, because the products made by human are all artifacts. However, in modern society, many advanced facility also take part in the process of manufacture. For example, in the past, people can produce 10 papers in one day. They would process the trees and leaves they collected and use special instruments to press the processed materials. On the contrary, modern people would resort to the power of charcoal, oil and electron. They just collect the trees and put them into the machine. Then the machine would produce 10,000 papers in one day, by following the steps set by humans.

Furthermore, the development in information technology changed the life style of humans dramatically. The most notable innovation is internet which purely strength (strengths) the convenience of our lives. Let me take my own experience as an example. Using internet, I would like to communicate people in other counties to practice my English and broaden my horizon. Also, I would like to promote myself to companies by sending them an E-mail to introduce myself. Nevertheless, when I get lazy, it is very easy to buy clothes and other commodities in the online shopping mall. Certainly, I can't live like this if I lived in 100 years ago.

Of course, it is undeniable that little part of our life gets more complicated. For instance, people enjoy more entertainment ways by watching movies, playing video games and etc, people have more choices to transport, including train, bus, plane and boat, and people have more subjects like chemistry, economics, physics and so one. However, we can still not conclude that the technology complicate our life more than simplify out life.   

After rumination all the factors, we can harvest the conclusion that the technology simplify our lives through the industry technology and the information technology.[words:397]

例子清晰明白，又能丰富文章内容。学习了！！

slave918

改正稿
7.30 独立
Agree or disagree:
Technology designed to make people’s lives simpler actually often turns out to make people’s lives more complicated.

I certainly contend that the technology can perfect the life of ourselves by bringing people so much convenience. The technology has always been developing in human society, simply because the want of people can never be fulfilled and people want simple things. Thus, people in modern society can enjoy simple pleasures brought by previous people.

First and foremost, the development of industry technology enormously decreases the labor we need to produce something. In the past, if people want to make a product, it would certainly consume a lot of energy, because the products made by human are all artifacts. However, in modern society, many advanced facility also take part in the process of manufacture. For example, in the past, people can produce 10 papers in one day. They would process the trees and leaves they collected and use special instruments to press the processed materials. On the contrary, modern people would resort to the power of charcoal, oil and electron. They just collect the trees and put them into the machine. Then the machine would produce 10,000 papers in one day, by following the steps set by humans.

Furthermore, the development in information technology changed the life style of humans dramatically. The most notable innovation is internet which purely bring more convenience to our lives. Let me take my own experience as an example. Using MSN or Skype, I often chat with my friends on the internet, even though we live in one city.
Also, I can send many resumes to different companies in one second by useing E-mail, that would certainly ensures me more opportunities. What's more, If I want do some shoppings in the midnight when many shopping malls are closed, I can easily search the commodities in Amazon. Certainly, I can't gain this convenience if I lived in 100 years ago.

Of course, it is undeniable that little part of our life gets more complicated. For instance, people enjoy more entertainment ways by watching movies, playing video games and etc, people have more choices to transport, including train, bus, plane and boat, and people have more subjects to learn, including chemistry, economics, physics and so one. However, it would be to rash if we reach the conclusion that the technology make the life complicate.  To some extent, more choices also means that we don't have to worried about what should we do tomorrow, right? So, that's kind of make our lives simpel too.

After rumination all the factors, we can harvest the conclusion that the technology simplify our lives through the industry technology and the information technology.

slave918

Do you agree or disagree:

Always telling the truth is the mostimportant consideration in any relationship between people.

In all the relationship we have build with others, the most important thing I think is trust that means we should share our authentic thoughts in any relationship. Without trust when we are interacting with others in our modern society, the efficiency of a group would lower down and the relationship with our friends and family would be contaminated.

First and foremost, exchanging the real feeling and ideas in a group is extremely essential. Getting the right feedbacks from all the members of a team, that team can make a right direction to reach its goal. That also means lies would lower down the efficiency of a team. For example, I worked in a computer company. Once time, I proposed that we should change the old-fashion look of our computer to attract more consumers. Gladly, most of the members agreed with me. However, when some managers contended their opposition, suggesting all the employees should focus on the technology of the computer and discard my thoughts. Suddenly, most of the people changed their minds by saying my idea certainly would not goanna work. Because they didn't want to get a bad impression on managers, so they choose not to tell the truth. It turns out that other companies appeal a host of consumers by changing to a cool appearance. Thus, it is the lies that totally confuse the managers since they didn't get the authentic feedback from their employees.

Furthermore, it is the trust that sustains a healthy relationship with individual's friends and family. By sharing the real feelings, individuals build the trust with his/her friends and family. For example, once my friend—Tim told me we will meet at 5 o’clock then we can go to see a movie. However, informing me that he needed to take care of his mother who got a very urgent ill, he just didn't show up. It turns out that he forgot this appointment and played basketball the whole afternoon. Once knowing his dishonest, I can't trust him anymore since his behaviors severely discredit him. Afterwards, he started complain my suspicion and we just can't be a good friend anymore. Thus, we can see that how lies can contaminate the relationship with friends.

Of course, telling the truth is undeniably very difficult for all of us. Because truth has no decoration and temperature, it sometimes hurts others and left a negative impression on others. For example, I am not promoted for 3 years since I often offer my concerns to the decision my boss made. Also, when I finally told my girlfriend that I didn't love her anymore, she told me she will heat me for her whole life. But imaging if I lied to my boss and girlfriend, things may worsen, right? Far from being promoted or loved, I may make up 2 new lies when I make the first.

After rumination all the factors, we can reach at the conclusion easily that always telling the truth is the paramount thing in any relationship. Once individuals know this, they can walk away from lies, ensuring a great efficiency in their team and a healthy relationship with their friends and family.

slave918

8.10 独立
It is more important to keep old friends than it is to make new friends.
Time:40M words:481


In my views, keeping the old friends is definitely more important than making new friends. We all know that humans need friends since we all need to share our feelings and we want we are needed by someone. Thus, we can see that why maintaining the relationship with old friends is more essential that building new relationships. That's because compared to new friends, old friends are rarer to us and it costs us enormous energy to build a new relationship.  

First and foremost, old friends are far more precious that the new friends for old friends have been experience so many things with each other and they know each other well. For example, Jim and I know each other since we are in the primary school so he knows the unique characteristics of me and so do I. He knows that I like to make joy on others—of course it is often not funny—but I don't mean to negatively comment on others. Sometimes, if people can't find a topic to discuss, I often make some joys on Jim, and then people would laugh and be active in taking again. Being so familiar with me, he can totally tolerate the behavior of me. Thus, individuals can't never find a new friend who knows them so well and have so much patience on them.

Furthermore, it would certainly cost an individual more time and energy to make new friends than maintain the relationship with old friends. Making new friends is a difficult job which requires an individual to cautiously talk to each other so one can make a nice impression or to keep a friendly behavior to show his/her willingness. For instance, when I first came to college,  it costs me 2 days to make a friend. At first, I have to do some brainstorms to find some interesting topics. In the meanwhile, I also have to be alert to my words in case I surprise him or make him misunderstood. Anyway, it is a long journey to find someone who has the same topics with me. However, when I come to Jim, we can easily talk for an hour and don't feel any uncomfortable.

Of course, making new friends is an inevitable thing. However, if individuals don't cherish the relationship with their old friends, what is the meaning of the new friends. It seems like a very unwise bargain for us. Losing someone who is so acquainted with you then spending so much time and energy to find someone else is purely preposterous, right?

After ruminations all the factors, we can no doubt reach at the conclusion that it is far more important for us to keep your old friends that to make new friends. Old friends not only are more precious to us but also save us a lot of energy and time.

GJason

已修改，见附件