Aprilmi的写作帖~新手上路，各种求各种指导~

Aprilmi

TPO 28 ，第一次写综合，修改的小伙伴辛苦了！

The reading passage focus on the issue of whether Peary has really been to the North Pole. The professor’s lecture deals with the same issue. Yet, she thinks that Peary has never been to the North Pole which contradicts with what the reading states. In the lecture, she thinks the support points in the reading passage don’t make any sense and she uses three pieces of evidence to buttress her viewpoint.
   First of all, even though the reading passage suggested that the committee of the national geographic society has conducted the investigation of the equipment and the record of Peary and proved that he did go to the North Pole, the professor argues in the lecture that the investigation was not that objective that it only lasted for 2 days, and the committee is the friend of Peary. And at the same time, they did not take enough time on the records by Peary. Obviously, the professor’s argument disproves its counterpart in the reading.
  Moreover, despite the statement in the reading that another man called Tom Avery made a same trip as Peary do, and he use the less time than Peary, which means that it is possible for Avery to finish the trip, the professor contends that the two trips are different. Firstly, Avery’s food is transport by the airplane while Peary did it by the sledge. And when Avery traveled the weather condition it’s much better than it was like when Peary traveled. In other words, Avery’s trip couldn’t prove that Peary has been to the North Pole.
  Finally, the professor asserts that the photograph which is too old couldn’t be used to calculate the date because it’s not accuracy enough. Whereas the author of the reading claims that the shadows of the position can be used to ensure the date of the trip. Then, the opinion hold by the professor proved that the picture cannot support whether Peary’s trip is real.
In conclusion, the professor clearly identifies the weakness in the reading passage and convincingly shows that the central argument in the reading that Peary has been to the North Pole is incorrect.

Aprilmi

11/3 独立A\D it is more important to choose friends that have fun with than to choose friends that will help you when you need them

Friendship is one of the most important relationships that a human have. To live on this world, everybody needs friends. We need friends when we feel like having fun, thus we can play or joke with them, full of happiness. We also need friends when we are in trouble, we need them to help us, comfort us and stay with us. We all need these two kinds of friends, but here is the problem, which kind of friends is more important to us? The having-fun type or the supporting-you type?
  As far as I am concerned, I would choose the first type. In our long term of life, we won’t always get into trouble but we will always get stuck in loneliness, which means that we will always need a friend’s accompany. A good friend will bring the sunlight to your life and make you become more optimistic toward life. Just image it, if we don’t have any friend to play with, how’s our life now? Have dinner alone every day without any accompany, finding something or someplace interesting but have nobody to share with, and have nobody to go out and have fun with when feeling bored. Without any doubt, this kind of life sucks. Thus, I feel strongly that I need the first type of friend who could be accompanied with me when I feel bored.
Why not choose the second type? I don’t mean that I don’t need those friends who could help me and be with me when I get into trouble, but I do have some reasons. First of all, we should always deal with the problems by ourselves, others don’t always help that much although they want to. In most of the times, our friends are able to do nothing but comfort us, but sometimes their kindness will make us feel even worse.
Once I did a really bad job in a very important exam, I felt so bad that I was in a bad mood the whole day. All my friends wanted to help but all they could do was to comfort me. But their behavior hurt my feelings even more since they all did a good job in that exam. Whereas, my best friend, who knew me well said nothing but asked me out the next day. We climbed the mountain, picked flowers, caught butterflies and at last, yelled loudly on the top of the mountain. Surprisingly, my anger and sadness have all gone.
That’s what I mean, when the having fun type friend lead a stable relationship with you and know you well, he/she will naturally become the second type friend, and support you by a better way. So, isn’t it more important to choose friends that always have fun with you?

修一一

加油啦~~~

北极的企鹅123

对不起队友哈，拖欠作业了，刚刚拜读了你的作文，我的也写好了，麻烦你修改下哈

Aprilmi

A\D The rules in societies today are too strict for young people.
  Living as a human, means that we must obey the rules in societies, especially the young people. To start our own business, we should obey the rules. To create a relationship, we must obey the rules. Even when we decide to give a birth to a baby, we should obey the rules. So, if you ask me whether the rules in societies today are too strict for young people or not, I will give you my answer without thinking, yes, of course.
  Why do the societies always be so strict to us young people? Maybe some will say as usual, you are the hope of the world, being strict with you will help you to improve yourselves thus you can become the host of the society well. However, don’t you think that the young people are carrying too much burden now? We live in a world full of hopes and expectations since the moment we born, but those hopes and expectations have also brought us a lot of stress and pressure. On our way growing up, when we want to go out and have fun, our parents will stop us and say, it is more important to study than play, because knowledge is what you need to survive in the society. When we want to have a further research to what we are really interested in, our teachers may stop us and say, it will be wise of you to give it up and start a real meaningful research since it you help you to succeed. When we are old enough to get married, even our true love hasn’t come up, everybody around us will urge us to find somebody to get married because that is what the others in the society do. Don’t mention that if we don’t want to give birth to a baby ,or if we want to quit and traveling around the world, the society will certainly stop us as much as it can, since we don’t obey its rules. Don’t you think that it is too cruel to kill a young’s dream like this just because he/she don’t obey the rules in the society?
  I think we should release the rules and give the happy lives and dreams back to the young people now. Otherwise, they will become the slaves of the societies and live with a lot of rules, carrying a lot of burdens. Then, what’s the difference between a human and a Robert?  

Aprilmi

Tpo 7
The reading passage focus on the issue of that the America wood companies won’t take part in an issue started by an international organization. The professor’s lecture deals with the same issue, yet he thinks the America wood companies will finally take part in this project, which contradicts with what the reading states. He thinks the support points in the reading don’t make any sense and he states his viewpoints in three aspects.
First of all, even though the reading passage suggests that there are too many advertisements in American people’s life and they won’t notice the ecocertified label, the professor argues in the lecture that the American people can distinguish the differences between the normal advertisement and the label given by the reliable organizations.
Moreover, despite the statement in the reading that America people will choose the cheaper products so that the companies prefer to lower the price rather than protect the environment, the professor contends that the America people will choose the cheaper product only if another one is much more expensive. Otherwise, they will choose the product which has good quality.
Finally, the author of the reading claims that this project is only helpful when our products face to the foreign country while the professor asserts that if they don’t keep the pace of the world, the American market will be occupied by the foreign products.
In conclusion, the professor clearly identities the weakness in the reading passage and convincingly shows that the central argument in the reading passage that the American wood companies won’t follow the international organization is incorrect.

Aprilmi

11月13号独立~

It is better to relax by watching a movie or reading a book than doing physical exercise.
   We all need relaxing. Living as a human means that we must work for living and we should relax for living well. So, what’s the best way for us to relax? I think that a question bothers a lot of people. Which is better for us to relax? I think doing physical exercise is better than any other options such as watching a movie or reading a book.
  As far as I am concerned, I think doing physical exercise is a perfect way for us to relax since it will do good to our mental health as well as our physical health. So, it kills two birds with one stone. On one hand, doing physical exercise does good to our mental health that we can release the stress and pressure while running or playing basketball or doing any other exercise. While we are having fun in the gym or playground, we can leave those disturbing thing behind and enjoy ourselves entirely, without thinking and working, which will definitely do good to our spirits. On the other hand, doing exercise will do good to our physical health and give us a strong body. No matter what king of trouble we will run into, we need a healthy body to solve it, isn’t it? What’s more, if you choose to do exercise with someone else, maybe you can talk to him and you will feel much better by sharing the unhappiness with others. Sometimes they might give you some helpful suggestions surprisingly
Therefore, I always suggested that we should go out and do some exercise when we are feeling upset or stressful. Although some people may feel like staying at home, reading and watching movies, their method to relax will surely have no good effects on their health. At the same time, if they just stay at home, they will never have any chance to communicate with others and listen to others’ ideas.
  As for me, I do follow what I think and every time I feeling stressful, I asked my friends if they would like to play badminton with me and it will always end up with a good mood. So, once a friend of mine felt upset since her failed an important text and she decided to relax by watching a movie. I stooped her and asked her if she would love to go running with me. After a one-hour running, she was exhausted, but much better. After that night, she thank me for my accompanying once and once.
After all this kind of successful experience, I convince that doing exercise is really a good way to relax, not only for me and my friends, but also for everyone. Try it once and you will know how powerful it is.

psychoarya

能力有限，希望多多包涵！

yagiliang

hi ,11.13的作文修改好了。
你是只写了独立是吗？
我昨天报的是独立和综合，但我看到我们是互改，以下是我的链接http://forum.chasedream.com/thread-877065-1-1.html
辛苦你拉

Aprilmi

yagiliang 发表于 2013-11-14 21:33
hi ,11.13的作文修改好了。
你是只写了独立是吗？
我昨天报的是独立和综合，但我看到我们是互改，以下是我 ...

哎呀，我的综合也写了但是忘了发上来了