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21#
发表于 2013-8-18 19:12:41 | 只看该作者
lz的作文写的很好,今天我自己有新写一篇,阔以请lz帮我看看么?
http://forum.chasedream.com/foru ... &fromuid=744721
22#
 楼主| 发表于 2013-8-19 17:08:46 | 只看该作者
hemodata 发表于 2013-8-18 19:12
lz的作文写的很好,今天我自己有新写一篇,阔以请lz帮我看看么?
http://forum.chasedream.com/forum.php?m ...

恩,好的嘛!还要谢谢你帮我批改作文~~
23#
 楼主| 发表于 2013-8-20 21:21:15 | 只看该作者
820 独立
Independent Writing:
Doyou agree or disagree with the following statement?
Itis better to relax by watching a movie or reading a book than doing physicalexercise.

A proverb that all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy has been recognized as undeniable truth by most people during a long period. With the pace of society accelerating, people from all circles of life are overwhelmed with burdensome tasks and great pressure. Accordingly, relaxation off work gains much more attention than before. To relax thoroughly, in my opinion, doing physical exercise is a better choice than watching a movie or reading a book.

Doing sports helps to refresh people’s mind from brain work all day and night and even more surprisingly, exercising can stimulate people’s brains to work more actively and creatively. According to a study conducted by China Health Education Center, 80 percent of the respondents think they can feel more relaxed and work more effectively after doing physical exercises, such as playing basketball, running, and so on, than after doing other still relaxation, including watching movies and reading books. Because the brain is still running actively and thus cannot rest well when watching movies and reading books.

Moreover, sports and health are intrinsically connected. Doing sports will greatly increase people’s metabolism and strengthen our physique. However, reading or watching movies fail to provide healthy body for people and by contrast do harm to people’s health. A good example is my classmates Jane for instance. Jane used to watch movies a lot after class and didn’t leave her chair until bedtime. As a result, she grew fatter and more vulnerable to diseases. After taking her doctor’s advice, she ran on the playground instead of watching movies as soon as the class was over and six months later even won women’s 400-meter race at our sports meeting. Therefore, exercising is a healthier method to spend our spare time.

Admittedly, watching funny movies or reading interesting books can make us laugh and release our pressure to some extent. But due to the limited spare time, it is more sagacious for people to choose doing physical exercise, with all advantages discussed above, for relaxation rather than watching movies or reading books.

To sum up, I hold the point of view that doing physical exercising is better than reading books or watching movies to relax oneself in that not only does exercising make our brain gain adequate rest bus also helps us build up a healthy and strong body.
24#
发表于 2013-8-21 11:52:05 | 只看该作者
A proverb that all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy has been recognized as undeniable truth by most people during a long period. (开头引用,不得不佩服...新人表示只会写简单句...)With the pace of society accelerating, people from all circles of life are overwhelmed with burdensome tasks and great pressure. Accordingly, relaxation off work gains much more attention than before. To relax thoroughly, in my opinion, doing physical exercise is a better choice than watching a movie or reading a book.
  Doing sports helps to refresh people’s mind from brain work all day and night and even more surprisingly, exercising can stimulate people’s brains to work more actively and creatively. According to a study conducted by China Health Education Center, 80 percent of the respondents think they can feel more relaxed and work more effectively after doing physical exercises, such as playing basketball, running, and so on, than after doing other still relaxation, including watching movies and reading books. Because the brain is still running actively and thus cannot (这里是不是有些问题,and两个句子不是?)
rest well when watching movies and reading books.
Moreover, sports and health are intrinsically connected. (Topic sentence)Doing sports will greatly increase people’s metabolism and strengthen our physique. However, reading or watching movies fail to provide healthy body for people and by contrast do harm to people’s health. A good example is my classmates Jane for instance. Jane used to watch movies a lot after class and didn’t leave her chair until bedtime. As a result, she grew fatter and more vulnerable to diseases. After taking her doctor’s advice, she ran on the playground instead of watching movies as soon as the class was over and six months later even won women’s 400-meter race at our sports meeting. (个人觉得这句话写得偏长,容易出现错误,表达不明确)Therefore, exercising is a healthier method to spend our spare time.
Admittedly, watching funny movies or reading interesting books can make us laugh and release our pressure to some extent. But due to (but去掉会好些)the limited spare time, it is more sagacious for people to choose doing physical exercise, with all advantages discussed above, for relaxation rather than watching movies or reading books.
To sum up, I hold the point of view that doing physical exercising is better than reading books or watching movies to relax oneself in that not only does exercising make our brain gain adequate rest but also helps us build up a healthy and strong body. (文章用了挺多长句子,可见笔者的功底....佩服佩服~)
25#
发表于 2013-8-21 15:42:44 | 只看该作者
http://forum.chasedream.com/thread-870746-1-1.html
我的独立已经完成了呀....肿么没有批改呢
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