拜託!!請指導一下

小安

本來在寫完JJ 問了這個問題 但是並沒有人回答 可能是在最後面沒人注意到吧

所以移到這裡再問一次 希望大家能幫幫忙 評個分

請問一下各位牛牛: 如果作文題目作文: 035 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Attending a live performance (for example, a play, concert, or sporting event) is more enjoyable than watching the same event on television. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

我的 結構應該還可以 內容有五段 第一段寫開頭 第二段寫因為可以親眼見到自己心愛或欣賞的Singer or player

第三段寫說可以趕受到現場的氣氛 第四段寫說可以參與現場的特別活動可以得到難忘的禮物甚至還可以與喜歡的player近距離接觸

最後一段寫結論 但是中間的三段並沒有寫很多就是了 而且我個人覺得內容並不充實 想請問一下 以這樣的情形來看 我寫的作文有沒有離題?? (我有寫錯一個單字) 如果沒有離題 想請問各位評斷一下我的作文有沒有三分以上呢 (以我上述的結構來評判的話) 大概是幾分呢??

likui

把你写的贴上来

likui

单从结构上来说，很完备了。

错别字不成问题，只有一个。

托福作文，内容不是重要的，理由和结构往往更关键。

小安

Given the choice between agreeing or disagreeing with the following statement that attending a live performance is more enjoyable than watching the same event on television, which one do we choose? It is considered that there is no big difference between the two. However, I totally agree that attending a live performance is more enjoyable than watching the same event on television. There are three reasons presented as follows.

First, it is attending the live performance that can see your favorite singers or players in person. For example,

這一段有舉一個親身的經歷 現場看演唱會

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Second, it is attending the live performance that can feel and share the live atmosphere there.

有用倒裝句型

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Third, it is attending the live performance that can join some special games and receive memorable gifts.  

這一段也舉了一個例子

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There are still other reasons that account for my fondness for it, but the obvious ones have been presented as above. If all these factors are contemplated, I may finally draw the conclusion that I completely agree with the statement that attending a live performance is more enjoyable than watching the same event on television.

中間三段的詳細內容既不起來了 中間三段並沒有寫的很好 也沒有寫的很多 請問 以這種情況來看的話  大概會有幾分 有三分以上嗎 應該沒有離題吧??請likui  gg 幫忙評論一下 謝謝!!

likui

志气不要这么小，3分没问题。

小安

真的嗎 謝謝GG 有你這句話我就放心了 我只要考213就可以了 我的分數是190~247 但其實還想要考更高 畢竟學英文不事考過TOEFL就可以的 想繼續加油 再考一次  GG覺得有必要嗎 還是覺得可以轉移方向 從比較日常生活實用的英文著手 請問一下 GG 我12/20考的 是不是七天後就可以用電話查分 我有爬過文章了 但還是不是很確定 想再確定一次 謝謝GG 一直麻煩您

真的謝謝囉!!