[写作小分队] toefl草稿本

anafkn

cquzyr 发表于 2013-6-2 23:44
那个因为我6.1的还没写，而且我功底也不是很好，你可以帮sherlock改一下6.1的独立写作吗？我觉得我给他改的 ...

哦……好滴

anafkn

Independent Writing：

Do you agree or disagree withthe following statement?

你同不同意that 學生參加學校的organization 和activities club is as important as theiracademic class.

Some people regard the life in universityas a drama full of social activities, various interesting clubs and romanticaffairs. They use a half- and-half balance to arrange their time and energy onclasses and extracurricular work to try to get the success in both academic andsocial aspects. However, bitingoff more than one can chew may be the result for most of them. And in my view,there should be a difference between the importance levels of these two partsin our lives and we have to make a choice.

First andforemost, the importance of classes or extracurricular activities is decided bythe special needs and goals of students. For people who have made up their minddevoting themselves to advanced research, knowledge from academic classes theyare taking now is the basics of their research structure and the key access tofurther study. We have witnessed many scholars like Nash or Wittgenstein, whoare famous for their achievements in unique research fields, enjoying their lonenesswhen they are at universities. There is no denying that extracurricularactivities like clubs will enlarge the networking and may create stars to someextent. Nevertheless, the prime work we are facing is the direction and fieldwe choose to focus on, like the major we love and knowledge from its class,instead of the hobbies found in a club.

Furthermore, academic classes are neverlimited in reading books or listening to the talk from lecturers. They can beas helpful as activities in terms of emotional quotient. If you can get friendssharing the same topic or interests in student union, you can find them inclasses, too. What attracts each other in friendship is not only the samefootball star but also the complementary features in characteristics. With thegroping of education development, there are more teamwork, discussions evenarguments in classes, translating the single knowledge input process into aall-round ability enhancement program as flexible as the extracurricular.

There is an old saying going that youcannot eat your cake and have it. Universities provide us endless opportunitiesboth in classes and off classes, and what we should be aware of is the priorityof them because the energy, time and preference of a person is limited and differentfrom each other. So it’s impossible to treat the importance level of classesand after-class work as the same. With the title “student” remaining in frontof my name, I believe extracurricular activities cannot get equal attention as academicpart does.

又是和以前一样的问题，赶脚要跑题啊肿么破……碰见正反都摇摆的topic就容易想太多……


TPO12
精力不济，时间不够，结尾写不动了，不写了。

Contradictory to the view in the reading that the subject of the portrait owned by a member of the Austen family is JaneAusten, the lecturer points out the inaccuracies and flaws of each explanation and states that the painting is not about the famous author.

First of all, although being recognized asthe portrait of the novelist by Austin's family, the subject of portrait is stillbeing doubted according to the professor. Because the family recognized thepainting in 1882, after Jane Austin had been dead for 70 years. This means that none of the family members ever seen her, so their recognition could not be apersuasive evidence.

Second, the lecturer argues that the extend family of Austin is very large, and there are many teenager girls resembling JaneAustin in that relative period. As a result, there are possibilities that theportrait may be just one of Jane Austin's relatives, like a distant nephewcalled Marie guessed by some specialists.

Finally, the lecturer contends that judging the date of the portrait by style only is not enough. Instead, he states thatthe painting may have a later date in terms of the material of the painting. Theblack canvas used to paint the portrait is from a person called Williams Leg,who did not sell this kind of canvas in London until the year when Jane hadbeen 27 years old, instead of a teenager age as painted. So the portrait painted on this kind of cloth cannot be JaneAustin.

In a sum, the lecturer concluded that the recent selling portrait may not be Jane Aaustin for the recognition from the family is unreliable; the subject of the portrait is uncertain, and the date of the painting is not corresponding.

applesoforever

Independent Writing：

Do you agree or disagree withthe following statement?

你同不同意that 學生參加學校的organization 和activities club is as important as theiracademic class.

Some people regard the life in university(campus life) as a drama full of(filling with) social activities, various interesting clubs and romantic affairs. They use a half- and-half balance to arrange their time and energy on classes and extracurricular work and(to arrange和to try构成并列~) to try to get the success in both academic and social aspects. However, biting off more than one can chew may be the result for most of them(这句没看懂). And in my view,there should be a difference between the importance(important) levels of these(the) two parts in our lives and we have to make a choice.

First and foremost, the importance of classes or extracurricular activities is decided by the special needs and goals of students. For people who have made up their mind devoting themselves to advanced research, knowledge from academic classes they are taking now is the basics of their research structure and the key access to further study. We have witnessed many scholars like Nash or Wittgenstein, who are famous for their achievements in unique research fields(field), enjoying their loneness when they are at universities. There is no denying that extracurricular activities like clubs will enlarge the networking and may create stars to some extent. Nevertheless, the prime work we are facing is the direction and field we choose to focus on, like the major we love and knowledge from its class, instead(insteading) of the hobbies found in a club.

Furthermore, academic classes are never limited in(to) reading books or listening to the talk from lecturers. They can be as helpful as activities in terms of emotional quotient. If you can get friends sharing the same topic or interests in student union, you can find them in classes, too. What attracts each other(mutually) in friendship is not only the adorer of a same football star but also the complementary features in characteristics. With the groping of education development, there are more teamwork,(and) discussions even arguments in classes, translating the single knowledge input process into a all-round ability enhancement program as flexible as(like) the extracurricular.

There is an old saying going that you cannot eat your cake and have it(是不是还少了个条件比如at the same time之类的？). Universities provide us with endless opportunities both in classes and off classes, and what we should be aware of is the priority of them because the energy, time and preference of a person is limited and different from each other. So it’s impossible to treat the importance level of classes and after-class work as the same. With the title “student” remaining in front of my name, I believe extracurricular activities cannot get equal attention as academic part does.

挑了两个开头的表达改了下，绿色是建议~
红色是修改~
蓝色是疑问~

在用词方面再努力努力哈~
论证方面第一点和第三段可以的，第二段没怎么看懂想表达什么意思哈~~

anafkn

applesoforever 发表于 2013-6-4 22:20
Independent Writing：Do you agree or disagree withthe following statement?你同不同意that 學生參加學 ...

被“用词方面再努力努力”的神语气轰成渣渣了……………………
谢谢帮我改作文！
biting off more than one can chew是贪多嚼不烂的意思，不过我不知道它能不能做主语
各种搭配给跪了……
you cannot eat your cake and have it：鱼与熊掌不可兼得。不过……我是查字典的这句（捂脸遁走）
anyway,谢谢帮助！

applesoforever

anafkn 发表于 2013-6-5 16:29
被“用词方面再努力努力”的神语气轰成渣渣了……………………
谢谢帮我改作文！
biting off ...

不客气~~
可以做主语~~
我查了下有“You can’t have your cake and eat it, too ”这种表达 。。。其实我想说的是关键这个too.少了这个词表达不出“兼”这个意思~~参考吧~~

abbyseven

Contradictory to the view in the reading thatthe subject of the portrait owned by a member of the Austen family is Jane Austen,the lecturer points out the inaccuracies and flaws of each explanation andstates that the painting is not about the famous author.

First of all, although being recognized as theportrait of the novelist by Austin's family, the subject of portrait is stil lbeingdoubted according to the professor. Because the family recognized the paintingin 1882, after Jane Austin had been dead for 70 years. This means that none ofthe family members ever seen her themselves, so theirrecognition could not be a persuasive evidence.

Second, the lecturer argues that the extend familyof Austin is very large, and there are many teenager girls resembling Jane Austinin that relative period. As a result, there are possibilities that the portraitmay be just one of Jane Austin's relatives, like ——a distant nephew called Marie guessed by some specialists.

Finally, the lecturer contends that judging thedate of the portrait by style only is not enough. Instead, he states thatthepainting may have a later date in terms of the material of the painting.Theblack canvas used to paint the portrait is from a person called WilliamsLeg,who did not sell this kind of canvas in London until the year whenJane hadbeen 27 years old, instead of a teenager age as painted. So theportrait painted on this kind of cloth cannot be JaneAustin.

In a sum, the lecturer concluded that the recentselling portrait may not be Jane Aaustin for the recognition from the family is unreliable; the subject ofthe portrait is uncertain, and the date of the painting is not corresponding.这个好！！



我觉得你好多细节 听得蛮详细的   好厉害哟

anafkn

abbyseven 发表于 2013-6-6 23:01
Contradictory to the view in the reading thatthe subject of the portrait owned by a member of the Au ...

orz……亲，难道木有错吗………………

anafkn

6 June

Independent Writing：

Do you agree or disagree with the followingstatement?

In order to succeed, you should be morelike others than be different from everyone else.

Integrated Writing：

TPO15

Independent Writing：

Do you agree or disagree with the followingstatement?

In order to succeed, you should be morelike others than be different from everyone else.

There is an old Chinese saying: the nail that sticks up mostly gets hammered down. Reagrding difference as badness, most Chinese are prone to being like others and claim that the middle course is the safest and basic way to success. However, in my view, this kind of choice can help nothing about success but undermine the uniqueness of your value, the opportunity to get appreciation and the courage to walk your own way.

First and foremost, the difference from others in a certain field or skill is the key component of a person’s value. The one gets paid most in a company is not the most hard-working guy but the person who provides views or products with his unique analysis or creativity nowadays, like senior analyst, or the fund manager. Because what the society recognizes most as a giant production machine is your personal irreplaceable function in it, instead of being a duteous but duplicated screw.

On the other hand, holding the different view instead of saying what everyone says is the success itself sometimes. History has witnessed scientists struggling against the old theory system from generation to generation. Without the courage of scientists to putting forwardthe total different even "ridiculous” view at the certain period, people will never be aware that the earth is round, or the space can be twisted, and the name of Galileo or Einstein will never be shining on the science history.

Furthermore, success is associated with both aptitude and attitude. While the difference in aptitude leads to the outstanding role in a stage as mentioned above, the attitude of being and keeping different is the access to the highlight stage. Although it is really easierto get hammered down, being the nail that sticks up also attracts more people,especially the upper, who may get interests and provide help. There are so many active young entrepreneurs positively showing their personal characteristics and ambitions and finally getting the start fund from VC or PE as their first and key step to legend.

Being different needs courage since you may come on a way alone to an unknown destination accompanied by laughter and doubts from others. But the name of the destination may be success rather than mediocrity as most people choose, because you are the only one with indispensable ability and attitude in the tremendous world.

江郎才尽写不长……后面一周练打字咯………………

Integrated Writing：

TPO15

The lecturer contradicts that all of the three ways to stop the growth of cane toads in Australia will be unsuccessful or cause unwanted damage and gives her explanations.

First of all, the lecturer contends that the national fence will not be so helpful to prevent the spread of cane toad as what the reading says. Because young toads and cane toad eggs are living in the stream, they can flowing from one place to another through this waterway far beyond the control of fence which can only prevent a few toads establishing their new habitats on other sites.

Second, the lecturer doubts the ability of these untrained volunteers to distinguish the difference between the cane toads and many Australian native frogs, especially when they are too young. And blind capture may destroy the population of the innocent native frog species, some of which has been endangered.

Finally, the disease-causing virus will bring about terrible consequence to the original habitat, like South America. Accordingto the lecturer, it is quite easy for the virus to migrate to South America through researchers or pet collectors and attack the cane toad, which is the native species and is vital to the local ecosystem. Therefore, developing adisease-causing virus will eventually devastate the ecological system in South America.

In a sum, the lecturer disputes each of the methods to stop the cane toad in Australia in the text and concludes that fences, volunteers and virus are either useless or dangerous.

cquzyr

TPO15

The lecturer contradicts that all of the three ways to stop the growth of cane toads in Australia will be unsuccessful or cause unwanted damage and gives her explanations.

First of all, the lecturer contends that the national fence（个人觉得是defence 生物防御用defence）will not be so helpful to prevent the spread of cane toad as what the reading says. Because young toads and cane toad eggs are living in the stream, they can flowing from one place to another through this waterway far beyond the control of defence which can only prevent a few toads establishing their new habitats on other sites.

Second, the lecturer doubts the ability of these untrained volunteers to distinguish the difference between the cane toads and many Australian native frogs, especially when they are too young. And blind capture may destroy the population of the innocent native frog species, some of which has been endangered.

Finally, the disease-causing virus will bring about terrible consequence to the original habitat, like South America. According to the lecturer, it is quite easy for the virus to migrate to South America through researchers or pet collectors and attack the cane toad, which is the native species and is vital to the local ecosystem(看起来是修饰cane toad的，但是怎么说感觉很奇怪，如果是想表达对当地物种造成生物入侵的话，定语是不是修饰south America更好一些呢？……不确定……). Therefore, developing a disease-causing virus will eventually devastate the ecological system in South America.

In a sum, the lecturer disputes each of the methods to stop the cane toad in Australia in the text and concludes that defences, volunteers and virus are either useless or dangerous.

anafkn

cquzyr 发表于 2013-6-7 21:00
TPO15

The lecturer contradicts that all of the three ways to stop the growth of cane toads in Aust ...

不是咯，就是修饰cane coad,它会供给cane toad,后者就是一本土物种，并对当地生态系统至关重要