狠批至上！

applesoforever

06.03  Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
你同不同意that 學生參加學校的organization 和activities club is as important as their academic class.   

With technology develops dramatically in the society, government has placed more emphasis on education than ever before. Accompanying with this phenomen, here is the heated issue that a proportion of persons agree that the impact of organizations and activities students take part in are akin to academic class. From my perspective, however, they underestimate the importance of extracurriculars.

To begin with, students can obtain well-rounded personalities no matter participating in organization or activities. There is no denying that taking part in a basketball team will enhance youngsters' ability of collaborating. And it is evident that participating a technology team can not only stimulate students' creativity but also prompt their manipulative capability. Those are essential components in terms of teenagers' growth. However,knowledge from the books cannot provide students with these capabilities.

On the other hand, youngsters' may make good even best friends with those who have the same interesting respects in extracurriculars while learning at class fails to accommodate this. Students share not only their delighted things such as winning a game but also the grief ones mutually. A recent survey conducted by Peking University illustrates that sharing myraid of feelings facilitate the formation of relationships.

Last but not least, students can put theories which are learned in class into practice by doing experiment. This progress will be imposing so that students are unlikely to forget. For example, if students are told that make NaHco3 react with Hcl will generate a kind of gas called Co2, they would be hard-pressed to imagine what was going on. But whey they exerted the experiment by themselves, they saw bubbles coming from the glass tube which is immersed in the water. Therefore, they will remember this reaction with ease and be unforgettable.

Admittly, theories from classes are indeed of importance, they will enable us to have a logical and critical thinking ability. But, as what we are discussed above, we can safely draw the conclusion that the positive influence of extracurriculars exceeds academics. Thus, I cannot share the argument that organizations and activities are the same important as academics.

anafkn

applesoforever 发表于 2013-6-3 23:29
06.03  Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
你同不同意that 學生參加學校的organizat ...

睡前改一发，羡慕LZ当晚写完的行动力（泪目啊泪目）

With technology develops dramatically in the society, government has placed more emphasis（emphases） on education than ever before. Accompanying with this phenomenon, here is the heated issue that a proportion of persons agree that the impact of organizations and activities students take part in are akin to（我……查字典了……） academic class. From my perspective, however, they underestimate the importance of the extracurriculars.

To begin with, students can obtain well-rounded personalities no matter participating in organization or activities(没大看懂，是无论参加什么组织或活动吗？哎，whichever the organizations or activities they participate in? ). There is no denying that taking part in a basketball team will enhance youngsters' ability of collaborating（teamwork ability?商业上这么用可能好一点）. And it is evident that participating in a technology team can not only stimulate students' creativity but also prompt their manipulative（要给跪了） capability. Those are essential components in terms of teenagers' growth. However,knowledge from the books cannot provide students with these capabilities.

On the other hand, youngsters' may make good even best friends with those who have the same interesting respects in extracurriculars while learning at（in） class fails to accommodate this. Students share not only their delighted things such as winning a game but also the grief ones mutually. A recent survey conducted by Peking University illustrates that sharing myraid(啥？) of feelings facilitate the formation of relationships.

Last but not least, students can put theories which are learned in class into practice by doing experiment. This progress will be imposing(其实我意思木有看懂，假如是说这一进步是被强加的（好别扭，一定是我理解有差），impose要被动？) so that students are unlikely to forget. For example, if students are told that making NaHco3 react with Hcl will generate a kind of gas called Co2, they would be hard-pressed to imagine what was going on. But whey they exerted the experiment by themselves, they saw bubbles coming from the glass tube which is immerjiecised in the water. Therefore, they will remember this reaction with ease and be unforgettable(ORZ......大神……干嘛不把Na直接扔水里咩，反应超明显，顺便也好写——我只开玩笑的).

Admittly, theories from classes are indeed of importance, they will enable us to have a logical and critical thinking ability. But, as what we are discussed（have discussed） above, we can safely draw the conclusion that the positive influence of extracurriculars exceeds academics. Thus, I cannot share the argument that organizations and activities are the same important as academics.

评论：
1. 膜拜词汇量！大神！送串干肉磕个头你收了我吧~~~~~~
2. 介词和偶尔一些时态，估计是写顺手了木怎么看就习惯性出来了吧……写作文写得像肠梗的人真是不能想象这种思路通畅……
3. 总论点：不同意观点：课外活动和课上学术一样重要，应该是更重要（……好神奇，突然跟我的思路扭了……）
分论点：1. 参加活动可以提升全面素质，仅仅上课不够（恩，同意）；2. 课外活动能交到志趣相投的朋友（哦……可以，但是跟课上木有对比啊）；3. 做实验能将理论付诸实践（这个啊……做实验不是academic class吗？课外好像是“organizations和activities club”是指社团类的东西吧……觉得最后一个跑了）
小结：句子漂亮，用词很漂亮！（红果果地殴打小盆友！）唯一美中不足是最后一个论点，在我的神逻辑里实在找不到联系点。
谢谢~~~~~

我的写好估计比较晚，尽量努力哈！

applesoforever

06.04  Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
大學生是否不必到學校上課，只要參加考試就行了?

Some people may claim that college students are merely taking part in the exams and there is no need for students to go to class. From my perspective, they are definitely failling to take some reasons as I give below account.

To begin with, the essential core of the tertiary-level education is not to teach students how to obtain high scores and foster youth to be a test-oriented person. It is supposed to cultivate youngsters to be well-rounded individuals at both phiscal and mental respects. Actually, there is no doubt that students  who are solely adept in taking exams is meaningless. Because once they encountered a problem in reality, they still cannot grapple with it. To fulfill the goal of schooling, teenagers have to attend class regularly and interact with professors mutually at class.

To say the least, in the light of the statement that gaining high scores is the kernel of education, students should attend classes more. Teachers are well-acquainted with the law of the test, in other words, they have a good mastery about what is the point and what is not. They also impart students which parts should be proficient in. Armed with these information, students can acheive their ideal  grades.

Last but not least, that students go to class indiscriminately not only makes university's management with ease but prevents youngsters from commiting effectively. Managers are aware of the number and names of truants clearly. Without taking class makes possible teenagers go astray even commit crimes. Boys wiill be indulged in playing computer games such as Couter-Strike all day and night, while girls will dedicate numerous time on going shopping or making up. What was worse, some of them will participate in a criminal group like stealling purpses on the public transportation or robbing jewelry on the street. Therefore, it is a necessity for students go to class.

In conclusion, students attend class can retain moral values education and techniques of achieving high scores even protect themselves to some extent, thus, I share the agrument that teenagers should go to class.

applesoforever

anafkn 发表于 2013-6-4 00:40
睡前改一发，羡慕LZ当晚写完的行动力（泪目啊泪目）

With technology develops dramatically in the soci ...

拼错了~~myriad  那个imposing可以有“印象深刻的”意思~~

yzwdan818

06.04  Do you agree or disagree with thefollowing statement?
大學生是否不必到學校上課，只要參加考試就行了?

Some people may claim that college students are merely taking part in the examsand there is no need for students to go to class. From my perspective, they aredefinitely failling（failing） to take some reasonsas I give below account.

To begin with, the essential core of the tertiary-level education(tertiary college) is not toteach students how to obtain high scores and foster youth to be a test-orientedperson. It is supposed to cultivate youngsters to be well-rounded individualsat both phiscal(physical) and mental respects. Actually, there is nodoubt that students whoare solely adept in taking exams is meaningless(这句话有问题，你简化一下，会变成students are meaningless,错误的表达，学生不能无意义，而且我知道你要表达的意思是学生的这种行为是meaningless，可以改成just being adept in…..ismeaningless for students’ self improvement). Because once theyencountered a problem in reality, they still cannot grapple with it. To fulfillthe goal of schooling, teenagers have to attend class regularly and interactwith professors mutually at class.

To say the least, in the light of the statement that gaining high scores is thekernel of education, students should attend classes more. Teachers arewell-acquainted with the law of the test, in other words, they have a goodmastery about what is the point and what is not. They also impart studentswhich parts should be proficient in. Armed with these information, students canachieve(achieve) theirideal  grades.

Last but not least, that students go to class indiscriminately not only makesuniversity's management with ease but also(最好不要省) prevents youngsters from commitingeffectively. Managers are aware of the number and names of truants clearly.Without taking class makes it possible that teenagers go astray even commit crimes. Boys will(will)be indulged in playing computer games such as Couter-Strike all day and night,while girls will dedicate numerous time on going shopping or making up. What was(is时态前后一致) worse, some of themwill participate in a criminal group like stealling(不要双写l) purpses(你是想写purpose吗？) on thepublic transportation or robbing jewelry on the street. Therefore, it is anecessity for students go to class.

In conclusion, students attend class can retain moral values education andtechniques of achieving high scores even protect themselves to some extent,thus, I share the agrument（argument） that teenagersshould go to class.

有一些模板的痕迹，小错误也比较多，应该避免。然后我觉得说理也不够充分，有点单薄，不知道怎么展开说理的话，可以举例子辅助说理。

applesoforever

yzwdan818 发表于 2013-6-5 19:22
06.04  Do you agree or disagree with thefollowing statement?
大學生是否不必到學校上課，只要參加考試 ...

恩 有几处拼写错误 还有学生意义那个  写快没发现到

1.其余几个都没错误  2.不是想写purpose 3.至于模板？好吧。。。都自己写的==

怎么说呢 字数确实不够强悍~~加油吧~~

applesoforever

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Economic growth seems to be more important than environmental concerns.


Rich as our country is, the qualities of our living are by no means satisfactory. Because the environment we live is suffering deterioration irreversiblely. Even though certain people are supposing that economic development is superior to environmental concerns. I, however, do not agree with this statement. Reasons I give following to judge for yourselves.

On no account should we ignore the siginificancy of the surroundings we live in. On the other word, we cannot emphasize the importance of protecting our surroundings. We, human beings, various flora and fauna, are dedicating all our lifetime on this planet. Not only eat but sleep are related to the existance of the earth. If we humankind put a strain on the circumstances, the victims of the consequence will be involved in many species. For instance, as myriad of factories discharge carbon dioxide into the air, the pace of global warming is accelerating, leading to ices in the Arctic pole have melted faster than ever before. Therefore, the polar bears in the north pole are not permitted to preying seals on the ice land by natural condition.  Also are coral reefs in the ocean which are sensitive to the temperature range. That once they died in huge number became the headline news of USA today. In terms of we human, the China Daily once reported that lung cancer in Beijing has improved by 38 percent and the air pollution is the exactly the culprit. Indeed, we can see pedestrains in growing number are wearing respiratory masks. And counless persons are going to hostipal for their respiratory diseases.

On the other hand, only concerning the economic growth by ignoring the  circumstance will lead to a consequence which is betray the original purpose of why we develop the economy. As is known to us, money can accomodate all our material needs such as cars and houses etc. so we can live better. Hence in our mind we format the logic that we are supposed to fuel the economy as soon as possible even in price of environment. But do we actually consider what will be next? We distory the surroundings and we get lots of diseases which we even fail to call their names. We spend huge sums of money living in hospital. Are the money we earning by price of environment just to send us in hostipals by living high-end wards? Then, what is the meaning for us to do these?

Last but not least, economic development is based on the enviroment. It is an attachment of environment. For example, without trees we will fail to make paper which is made from trees. So the industry of making people will break down. Also the agriculture depends on the marine products will not be existed if the malmals like dolphines in the ocean are die out because of the poisoned food which are polluted by sewages discharged by factories.

In conclusion, the impact of economic growth are fail to exceed the environmental concerns. For sake of all lives on the planet and the quality of our life, we must take care of environment.

yzwdan818

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Economic growth seems to be more important than environmental concerns.


Rich as our country is, the qualities of our living are by no meanssatisfactory. Because the environment we live is suffering deterioration irreversiblely(irreversibly). Eventhough certain people are supposing that economic development is superior toenvironmental concerns. I, however, do not agree with this statement. Reasons I give following to judgefor yourselves.(这句话的表达我觉得有点奇怪，是不是没有谓语？还是是特殊的结构？)

On no account should we ignore the siginificancy（significance） of the surroundings we live in. Onthe other word, we cannot emphasize the importance of protecting oursurroundings(more你应该是想说我们要重视环境保护，如果没有more，表达的是相反的意思). We, human beings, various flora and fauna, are dedicating（我觉得不要用进行时） all our lifetime on this planet. Notonly eat（eating） but sleep are related to the existance (existence) of the earth. If wehumankind put a strain on the circumstances, the victims of the consequencewill be involved in many species. For instance, as myriad of factoriesdischarge carbon dioxide into the air, the pace of global warming is accelerating（我觉得不要用进行时）, leading to ices in the Arctic pole have melted(不要用完成时态) faster than everbefore. Therefore, the polar bears in the north pole are not permitted topreying seals on the ice land by natural condition.  Also are coralreefs in the ocean which are sensitive to the temperature range. That once theydied in huge number became the headline news of USA today. In terms of wehuman, the China Daily once reported that lung cancer in Beijing has improvedby 38 percent and the air pollution is the exactly the culprit. Indeed, we cansee pedestrains（pedestrians） in growing number arewearing respiratory masks in growing number(状语放前面意思不对). And counless（countless） persons are going to hostipal (hospital) fortheir respiratory diseases.

On the other hand, only concerning the economic growth by ignoring the circumstancewill lead to a consequence which is betray the original purpose of why wedevelop the economy. As is known to us, money can accomodate (accommodate)allour material needs such as cars and houses etc. so we can live better. Hence inour mind we format the logic that we are supposed to fuel the economy as soonas possible even in price of environment. But do we actually consider what willbe next? We distory(destroy) the surroundings and we get lots ofdiseases which we even fail to call their names. We spend huge sums of moneyliving in hospital. Are the money we earning by price of environment just tosend us in hostipals (hospital)by living high-end wards? Then, what is themeaning for us to do these?

Last but not least, economic development is based on the environment(environment). It is anattachment of environment. For example, without trees we will fail to makepaper which is made from trees. So the industry of making people will breakdown. Also the agriculture depends on the marine products will not be existedif the malmals(mammals) like dolphines (dolphins)in the ocean are dieout because of the poisoned food which are polluted by sewages discharged byfactories.

In conclusion, the impact of economic growth are fail to exceed theenvironmental concerns. For sake of all lives on the planet and the quality ofour life, we must take care of environment.

单词的拼写错误比较多，这样子考场上是会扣很多分的，因为是比较低级的错误，时态上个人也觉得用得比较混乱，很多时候直接用一般现在时或者一般过去时就可以了，因为有一些地方是客观事实，或者有一些地方的单词不能用进行时态，还有一些地方前后时态不一致或者错乱。在句子的构造方面也有问题，状语的位置，主谓宾结构什么的都要注意，不然会造成歧义。文章整体逻辑性也有待加强，第一段理由都在说环境破坏带来的后果，但是没有与经济发展进行比较，突出环境对人类影响更大。不过这是比较深层次的不足，可以暂时忽略，慢慢来。楼主如果是限时写出来的，又不急着考试的话，我建议接下来的几篇文章先不要限时写，尽量把这些不该犯的错误避免。加油~~~~

applesoforever

yzwdan818 发表于 2013-6-6 20:53
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Economic growth seems to be more important th ...

1.恩 是没有谓语 不是特殊结构
2.不是more。。 too much写忘了
3.单词拼写。。。。好吧  哎
4.恩 第一点第一句就是on no account...  但确实是点明下economy更好

applesoforever

06.06   Independent Writing：
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
In order to succeed, you should be more like others than be different from everyone else.

As is known to us, we are educated that we are supposed to be a successful person by not only teachers but also parents in our childhood. But how we do to succeed? Hence, this question triggers the heated issue that one should be more like others than be different from others to succeed. From my perspective, those who hold the opinion fail to analyze the problem proroundly, which should be discussed case-by-case.

To begin with, let us take doctors for example. Doctors are obliged to cure diseses even save lives for people. And in terms of how to trait patients for illness, they have a regular way to cope with it. When a sufferer get a cancer such as a gastric cancer, surgeons will do a operation to carve the stomach organ for him/her. They cannot deal with this problem by an alternative choose like taking medicines. Also, a physician will make a prescription when he/she has a patient who just get a gastritis. Under this circumstance operation is not a necessity. On the other hand, Lawyer is the same case with this. When a lawyeer defend for his/her defense, all he/she has to abide by is the legestigation, such as the constitution or the criminal law. What they say and behavior are a procedure, they cannot do this by their way. Thus, those persons should be act more like others if they want to be a distinguished doctor or lawyer.

Next, when it comes to technology realms, it will be a different situation. As an old cliche that technology needs creativity. Actually it does. The Sumsung mobilephone company is a good example to illustrate this. It is evident that Sumsung mobilephones were not fancy by the market in the past while Nokia was the prevailed one, although they both use Sybian. But when Android was developed by Sumsung things has changed dramatically. People in increasing number are using Sumsung phones, leading Nokia be a flash in the pan. Drawing from the experience we can conclude that companies in technology domains need innovation. Also this can be applied to the entertainment circle. Lady Gaga, an American girl, is favored with wearing weird constume which is serevely different from others. And now, she has the biggest fans in the twitter even in the world. Therefore, those need to be different to suceed.

In conclusion, considering all the conditions comprehensively, it is safe to say that success hinges on what the jobs we do.