5月份3战，作文求批得体无完肤

onlysevendays

题目：Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: The opinions of celebrities, such as certain entertainment and athletes, are more important for younger people than older people.

正文：

Have you even known that most nowadays children tend to believe the celebrities rather than their parents? Have you ever know that over half of the commercials displayed at TV are involved celebrities? Have you ever heard a new phrase called "generation gap" which refers to the huge recognition difference of the same thing between the younger and the older?

If you have never heard of such invents, you would never understand how important the opinion of celebrities is to the children. Although there is an old saying in China :"You would be suffer losses if you close your ears to elder", in my point of view the opinion of celebrities is more important to young people.

In the first place, most young people would choose to believe what the celebrities tell them. That's because the sense of value and philosophy is not fully developed for the young people, meanwhile the children view the celebrities as idol due to their songs, their movies or their basketball games. So the celebrities' opinion weighs a lot to the children. My nephew, David, perceives shark fin as the most delicious food in the world, and I remember every time we went out for dinner he would order shark fin. However, last week he refused to have shark fin, his reason was " Yao Ming told me to protect the shark". I know he sees Yao Ming as the greatest basketball player in China, but what I did not expect is the influence Yao Ming's opinion would have to children. So, the celebrities' opinion should not be underrated due to the credit they hold for the children.

What is more, the opinion of celebrities would reach the children effectively and in a wide range. The commercials at TV, internet and newspapers are occupied by celebrities, which makes their opinion could be heard by a wider range. Moreover, with the development of communication tools, such as Tweeter and Facebook, everybody's opinion could be spread at an amazing speed. For example, Jay Chou, one of the most popular musician in China, used to comment Cake King as "the most delicious cake store" at his Twitter, then a weeks later Cake King announced that the profit had doubled because of strong demand from Jay's fans. So because celebrities could been seen everywhere and their opinion could reach the children through highly developed communication tools, their opinion should be valued.

Thirdly, rather than stereotype, the children would favor novel ideas, and the celebrities always represent a symbol of innovation. With the fast development of the society and technology, more and more new concept are created, such as ipad, blue tooth, 3D printer, etc. Children are always interested to these inventions, while many old people tend to not understand what these new words stand for. According to a survey conducted by China Central Television(CCTV), more than 75% of the children and parents in the same family feel that there is generation gap between them. It is exactly the generation gap that makes the children believe what the celebrities tell them rather than their parents, because their parents stand for old stereotype while the celebrities mean innovation.

Admittedly, every parent would like to teach the children and their opinion or advice should be valued because these must come from their own experience and is full of their love. However, with the development of communication technology, our society has changed a lot, experience at old time may not apply to nowadays situation. So the voice of celebrities, who stands for novel subjects and innovation of the time, should be valued because the young people would listen to them.

shiwen5006

我觉得这篇文章想要说明的是“名人的观点对孩子的影响要比对老人的影响大”。
从楼主的第三个论点看，楼主好像理解成‘谁对孩子的影响比较大“了。
不过就文章而言，楼主论证的挺好的。