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TWE083 请各位dx给批改->pumpkin修改标题

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楼主
发表于 2004-11-25 04:46:00 | 只看该作者

TWE083 请各位dx给批改->pumpkin修改标题

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Modern technology is creating a single world culture. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.






       With the improvement of modern technology, our life styles have been changing greatly. By means of computer and Internet, we can know all the events in the world, and we can keep in touch with our friends at the other side of the world. In my opinion, I agree that modern technology is creating a single world culture.


        To begin with, Modern technology has no country boundary, that makes all the people in different country can lean it. They can fully use modern technology to build their own beautiful motherland. For example, in the third world country, University students in chemical and other oil industry major have been studying the same subject as the Canadian students do. Many Engineers out of Canada can find a good job in Canada if his English is enough to communicate.   


        Moreover, Modern technology makes all the people in the world more convenient to correspond. So the world is becoming smaller and smaller. In ancient age, people hardly knew the information outside his kingdom. However, great changes have taken place now, because of the using of computer and Internet. I can talk with my parents at the other continent, and at the same time I can see them. All is so easy, and all you can do is just pressing on the computer mouse.


        In addition, modern technology uniform people’s lifestyle. People in every corner of the world, use Internet to search information, to pay bills through the online bank, use Email to contact with each other. Most of us are using the same windows system, the same software to edit essay. How fantastic the phenomenon is! I hardly believe that all the cities look so similar in different country when I first came to Canada.


         To conclude, as far as I am concerned, I think modern technology is creating a single world culture not only because knowledge has on border but also because modern technology uniforms our lifestyle and makes communicate easily.  We should make joint efforts to build future, absolutely using modern technology.








沙发
发表于 2004-11-25 09:45:00 | 只看该作者
以下是引用pearl2004在2004-11-25 4:46:00的发言:

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Modern technology is creating a single world culture. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.






       With the improvement of modern technology, our life styles arehave been changing greatly. By means of computer and Internet, we can know all the events in the world, and we can keep in touch with our friends at the other side of the world. In my opinion, I agree that modern technology is creating a single world culture.


        To begin with, Mmodern technology has no country boundary, whichthat makes all the people in different country can lean it. (非限从句,用which;又,请教考GMAT的,which不可以指代句子?)They can fully take advantage of use modern technologiesy to build their own beautiful motherland. For example, in thea  third-world country, Uuniversity students in chemical and other oil industry major have beenare studyingresearching the same issuessubject as their Canadian counterpartersstudents do. Many Engineers out of Canada can find a good job in Canada if histheir English is enough to communicate.   


        Moreover, Modern technology makes all the people in the world more convenient to communicatecorrespond.(the meaning is right, but the foreigners prefer "communicate") SoTherefore, the world is becoming smaller and smaller. In ancient ages, people hardly knew the information outside histheir kingdom. However, great changes have taken place now, because of the using of computer and Internet. I can talk with my parents at theanother continent, and at the same time I can seeing them at the same time. All is so easy, and all you can do is just pressingclicking on the a computer mouse.


        In addition, modern technology uniform people’s lifestyle. People in every corner of the world, use Internet to search information, to pay bills through the online bank, and use Email to contact with each other.(xxx, xxx, and xxx) Most of us are usinguse the same windows system,  and the same software to edit essay.(xxx and xxx,或者xxx,xxx and xxx) How fantastic the phenomenon is! I hardly believe that all the cities look so similar in a different country when I first camearrived Canada.


         To conclude, as far as I am concerned, I think modern technology is creating a single world culture not only because knowledge has on border but also because modern technology uniforms our lifestyle and makes communicate easily.  Hence We should make joint efforts to build the future, absolutely using the modern technology.








文章结构不错,有些句子比较中国化。注意the, a 数的一致,还有时态。只要发现有逻辑关系的地方,尽量加上however, therefore, hence, further, admittedly.....文章显得逻辑

板凳
 楼主| 发表于 2004-12-18 05:26:00 | 只看该作者
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