改变 加油！！！ 作文贴

改变

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
The best way to learn a foreign country is to read newspaper and magazines from that country.

Under the globalization trend, cross-national communication became increasingly frequent. Now people are much more eager to learn about the culture, language and lifestyle of foreign country than in any other historical period. Some people say reading newspaper and magazines from foreign country is best way to learn that country. However,in my opinion, the above two methods are only parts of effective methods. Several other methods are same useful as that two method above.

To begin with,making some foreign friends is a good way to learn that country. Newspaper and magazines mainly focus on the news and stories happened on that today.

The language used in there is mostly written language. All of these are only one part of that country. However, if you can make some of the foreign friends, we could have opportunities to encounter anything incurred by that country. People are products of the whole society. We can find the trace of whole society on everyone who lives in that country. By talking with foreign friends, we can learn the food, culture and habit of that company. That can provide us a more comprehensive way to learn the foreign country.

Secondly, taking at ravel to that country is also good way to learn foreign country. No matter you read publications from foreign country or you make foreign friends,

you get the information by indirect ways. Under this condition, the corresponding information will definitely distort at some extent. However, if you have the first-hand experience on that country, that kind of problem won’t exist. In addition, you can also guarantee that the information you get is newest and direct. This kind of experience will give you profound impression and help you better understand that foreign country.

Of course, it isnot fair to neglect the merits of reading newspaper and magazines from that country. There is no denying that the two methods are most convenient. By buying these publications or just look at the website of publication, we can easily get much information whenever you want. At same time, since newspaper and magazines are normal publications, you do not worry about the authentic of the information.

But, as I discussed above, these two methods are only parts of the great method to learn foreign country. Making foreign friends and taking a travel to foreign countries have respective unique advantages. It is difficult to point out which one is best.Only by utilizing different methods, we can understand the all-round of foreign country.  

深水猫

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
The best way to learn a foreign country is to read newspaper and magazines from that country.

Under the globalization trend（tendency of globalization）, cross-national communication became increasingly frequent. Now people are much more eager to learn about the culture, language and lifestyle of foreign country than in any other historical period. Some people say reading newspaper and magazines from foreign country is best way to learn that country. However,in my opinion, the above two methods are only parts of effective methods. Several other methods are same useful as that two method above.（感觉两句重复了，我的意见可以改成the above two methods are only parts of effective methods that are available for us.）

To begin with,making some foreign friends is a good way to learn that country. Newspaper(s) and magazines, (which are dominated by written language,) mainly focus on the news and stories happened on that today.

The language used in there is mostly written language.All of these are（What they represent, however, is） only one part of that country. However (Oppositely), if you can make some of the foreign friends, we(you) could have opportunities to encounter (acquaint yourself with) anything incurred (underwent) by that country. People are products(ingredients ) of the whole society. We can find the trace of whole society on everyone who lives in that country. By talking with foreign friends, we can learn the food, culture and habit of that company(nation). That can provide us (and obtaining) a more comprehensive way to learn the foreign country.

Secondly, taking at ravel(travel) to that country is also good way to learn foreign country. No matter you read publications from foreign country or you make foreign friends,

you get the information by indirect ways（through indirect channels）. Under this condition, the corresponding information will definitely distort(be distorted ) at some extent. However, if you have the first-hand experience on that country, that kind of problem won’t exist (occur). In addition, you can also guarantee that the information you get is newest and direct. This kind of experience will give you profound impression and help you better understand that foreign country.

Of course, it is not fair to neglect the merits of reading newspaper and magazines from that country. There is no denying that the(these) two methods are most convenient. By buying these publications or just look at the website of publication, we can easily get much information whenever you want. At same time, since newspaper and magazines are normal publications, you do not worry about the authentic(authentication)of the information.

But, as I discussed above, these two methods are only parts of the great method to learn foreign country. Making foreign friends and taking a travel to foreign countries have respective（their）unique advantages. It is difficult to point out which one is best. Only by utilizing different methods, we can（can we） understand the all-round of foreign country.

几个小意见：
用词并不是特别地道，句间逻辑还要加强，还有应该单句复句交替使用，多用点不定从句，同位句之类的。
再有就是我改的很多地方其实你并没有错，只是我认为可能更好的写法，仅供参考。


至于你在我帖子中的问题，我就回在这吧，否则怕你看不到。
句式方面，我先背了广为流传的TWE 200 句，很容易找，那个材料用词不太地道，也有一些错误，但是在句型上应该会对你有一些启发。


单词和词组上，我强烈推荐慎小嶷的十天突破托福作文，事实上我文章中的大部分短语多来自于这本书的单词，如果能熟练掌握，应该会有很大的提升。


其实我也是新人，我这篇文章根本没在半个小时内完成。所以多交流吧，你有什么问题可以直接找我，加油。

非同反想

改变

4 March
Independent Writing:
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
It's more important for government to spend money to build art museums andmusic performance center than to build recreational facilities(such as swimmingpool, playgrounds)

Nowadays, people pay more attention on howthe government to spend their money building public facilities. However, interm of the area needed to invest, different people hold different opinion.Some people argue the government should spend more money to build art museumsand music performance center because those facilities can cultivate citizen estheticsentiment. However, others think building recreation facilities is more importantbecause we can relax ourselves and work out there. Through careful observationand thorough thought, I find I am inclined to the second idea.

To begin with, recreation facilities aremore needed for modern people. Today, everyone is facing much pressure fromdifferent origin. Students face a lot of homework and serious competitionbetween peers. Adult have to work hard to support their family and theirparent. All of these people hope to find a place to release their pressure. Ifthey could not find optimal place to relax, sometimes they would go to a totalwrong way to solve this problem, such as strike or committing crime. There isno doubt that recreational facilities are the best places. By doing someexercise and having fun in recreational facilities, they can effective to pourout the burden on their body. In addition, it is well acknowledged that modernpeople have a worse body condition. Lack of enough recreational facilitiesplays an important role there. If we want to keep our society a sustainabledevelopment, our government should set building recreational facilities aspriority since healthy citizen is foundation of society progress.

Second, the requirement for doing exercise ishigher than enjoying art. With help of personal computer and internet, we caneasily enjoy art show and listen to music just at home. Actually, under moderntechnology condition, the quality of internet art show and record of livingmusic concert is much satisfactory. More important, it is more convenient forcitizen because they can enjoy those prohibition and shows whenever they want.But doing exercise requires a specific field and equipments. If you want toswim, you will definitely not realize that without a swimming pool. If you wantto exercise body professional, it is so hard to make it without a weight room.So, we can see that building recreation facilities is more improvement for ourlife quality.

Of course, it is not fair to omit the meritof pay money on art museums and music performance. It would be helpful for thatkind of art to spread widely in the whole society. More poor people will have moreopportunities to access this elegant culture. But comparing these benefits withthose brought from building more recreational facilities; I would sayrecreational facilities would have more effective our life.

In a word, I think it’s more importantfor government to spend money to build recreational facilities than to buildart museums and music performance center

深水猫

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
It's more important for government to spend money to build art museums andmusic performance center than to build recreational facilities(such as swimmingpool, playgrounds)

Nowadays, people pay more attention on how the government（s）to spend their money (on) building public facilities. However, in term of the area needed to invest, different people hold different opinion(s).Some people argue the government should spend more money to build art museums and music performance center because those facilities can cultivate citizen esthetic sentiment. However, others think building recreation(al) facilities is more important because we can relax ourselves and work out there. Through careful observation and thorough thought, I find I am inclined to the second idea.

To begin with, recreation facilities are more needed for modern people. Today, everyone is facing much pressure from different origin. Students face a lot of homework and serious competition between peers. Adult have to work hard to support their family and their parent(s). All of these people hope to find a place to release their pressure. If they could not find optimal(appropriate) place to relax, sometimes they would go to a total wrong way to solve this problem, such as strike (striking) or committing crime. There is no doubt that recreational facilities are the best places. By doing some exercise and having fun in recreational facilities, they can effective to pour out(get rid of) the burden on their body. In addition, it is well acknowledged that modern people have a worse body condition. Lack of enough recreational facilities plays an important role there. If we want to keep our society a (in) sustainable development, our government should set building recreational facilities aspriority(give priority to the building of recreational facilities) since healthy citizen is foundation of society progress.

Second, the requirement for doing exercise is higher(more intensive) than enjoying art. With help of (from) personal computer and internet, we can easily enjoy art show and listen to music just at home. Actually, under modern technologycondition, the quality of internet art show and record of concert is much satisfactory. More important, it is more convenient for citizen because they can enjoy those prohibition(为什么用这个词？) and shows whenever they want. But doing exercise requires a specific field and equipments. If you want to swim, you will definitely not realize that without a swimming pool. If you want to exercise body professional（professionally）, it is so hard to make it without a weight room. So, we can see that building recreation facilities is more (can bring about more) improvement for our life quality.

Of course, it is not fair to omit the merit of pay (paying) money on art museums and music performance. It would be helpful for that kind of art to spread widely in the whole society. More poor people will have more opportunities to access this elegant culture (artistic form). But comparing these benefits with those brought from building more recreational facilities; I would say recreational facilities would have more effective (effects on) our life.

In a word, I think it’s more important for government to spend money to build recreational facilities than to build art museums and music performance center.



总体来说比之前有进步，不过几个问题还是存在，比如说长短句结合的句子多样性，行文的逻辑以及一些地道的词汇用法，不过已经好多了，请继续加油吧~~

非同反想

改变

这篇文章真心不太会写。。。



Most people often let others make decisions for them ratherthan makedecisions by themselves.



Today, manypersons say most people make decision by themselves because they want to liveon their will. However, although some people begin to concern about their rightof making decision, most people still would rather let other make decision forthem.



First,for some specific groups, they need others to help them make decisions, such aschildren, elder, etc. For children, they do not have enough knowledge and amplelife experience. They make decision more than by their feeling. However, thiskind of feeling is sort of unreliable and easily changeable. So when meetingsome very significant things, they would like to let their parent to makedecisions for them because they believe their parents have more experience onmany areas and would not make trouble for them purposely. The same situationcan also apply in elders. Many minds of elder are outdated. They give the rightto make choice for them to their children. One of my neighbors is typicalexample of these. My neighbor is 75 years old lady. Now she already give all ofher pension to her son and her son make all of decision for her, like shouldthese money be put into stock market or bond market, should these house is goodfor living. Nowadays, more and more elders use this way to decease thepossibility of making bad decision since they more and more realize they couldnot follow the trend of time.



Second,a lot of people do not like to take on the risk to make decision so they let othersmake decision for them. This happens a lot on the working environment. Today,more and more task needs to complete by team cooperation. It is easy to find thatmost of person would not like to make decision in a team. The point is verysimple. Since they make a decision, they must undertake the worst outcome if itis a bad decision. However, if they just follow the lead’s direct, they can getrid of the kind of blame. For this kind of people, this is more like astrategy.  They want to decrease the riskby letting others making decisions for them.



Of course, there are still a few people which would like to make decision by themselves. Those people are more responsibility and more brave to assume theresult along with their decision. They believe they are smart and they have theability to make this decision. However, there is no denying that this kind ofperson is minority in the world.



In a word, I think most people often let others make decisions for them rather than make decisions by themselves.

改变

11 March
Independent Writing:
Do you agree or disagree with the followingstatement?
看电视比看书学的多。

Today, we enter into an information time. Every day, millionsof information is created. The revolution of technology happens more frequent.Facing higher requirement for talent, people hope to find the most efficientway learn knowledge. Some people think traditional way, studying from books, isstill the optimal method. However, through careful analysis and all-roundobservation, I find I did not agree with that. Instead, I think watching TV isbetter way to study than reading book.

First, by watching TV, we can encounter more much knowledgethan we do from book. In today TV, series, I can easily find all kind of theknowledge, like geography, literature and history. There are even some channelswhich focus on the education and display academic knowledge all day long. You onlyneed to have a television in order to acquire all of the benefit. However, ifyou want to get so much diverse knowledge by book, that became much moredifficult. You must spend much more time to search knowledge in library orbookstore. And this also could not guarantee you to get this knowledge becausehold bulk of book is considerable cost for library. In addition, a lot of booksare not printed recently. Sometimes the information referred from book isoutdated. This problem become more seriously in this information boom time.

Second, we absorb the information and knowledge quicker andhold it longer time. Reading from book easily gets students disappointed. Theycould not concentrate for a long time to read several pages passage. In class,you can easily find student get sleepy when they are required to read.  However, when they study through TV, thissituation will seldom occur.  Television studyprovides student a multi-source channel. Students watch the animation on the television.They listen to the interview. They can also see the subtitle. Nowadays researchhas proven it will be more efficient to study if students can get knowledgefrom different channel instead of relying solely on reading. They feel fresh allthe time and this kind of curiosity and interest will make them memory whathappen unconsciously.

Of course, it is not fair to neglect the merit of thistradition study method. Book is much more convenient to use. You can carry abook with you no matter where you go and read it no matter what time it is. Butwhen compared with the larger amount of knowledge and much more studyefficiency brought from TV, I think studying by television is better.

In a word, I hold we can learn more from studying bytelevision than studying by book.

sylviazhang

11 March

Independent Writing:

Do you agree or disagree with the followingstatement?

看电视比看书学的多。



Today, we enter into an information time. Every day, millionsof information is created. The revolution of technology happens more frequently. Facing higher requirement for talent, people hope to find the most efficient way to learn knowledge. Some people think of traditional way, such as studying from books, is still the optimal method. However, through careful analysis and all-round observation, I find I did not agree with that. Instead, I think watching TV is better way to study than reading book. (感觉把I 换成people 更好，更显客观)



First, by watching TV, we can encounter （感觉用encounter不是很搭配）more much knowledge than we do from book. In today TV, series, I can easily find all kinds of the knowledge, like geography, literature and history. There are even some channels which focus on the education and display academic knowledge all day long. You only need to have a television in order to acquire all of the benefit.(good example!) However, if you want to get so (that)much diverse knowledge by book, that became(it will be) much moredifficult. You must spend much more time to search (on searching, spend…on,固定搭配)knowledge in library orbookstore（用复数更好？）. And this also could not guarantee you to （guarantee sb of sth貌似更常用点）get this knowledge because holding bulks of book is of considerable cost for library. In addition, a lot of booksare not printed recently. Sometimes the information referred from book is outdated. This problem become more seriously in this information boom time(information-exploded era).



Second, we absorb the information and knowledge quicker (more quickly) andhold(remember) it for longer time. Reading from books easily gets students disappointed. Theycould not concentrate for a long time to read several pages passage. In class,you can easily find student get sleepy when they are required to read.However, when they study through TV, thissituation will seldom occur.Television studyprovides student a multi-source channel. Students watch the animation on the television.They listen to the interview. (While at the same time) They can also see the subtitle. Nowadays research has proven it will be more efficient to study if students can get knowledgefrom different channels instead of relying solely on reading. They feel fresh allthe time and this kind of curiosity and interest will make them memorymemorize whathappen unconsciously.



Of course, it is not fair to neglect the merit of thistradition study method. Book is much more convenient to use. You can carry abook with you no matter where you go and read it no matter what time it is. But when compared with the larger amount of knowledge and much more study efficiency brought from TV, I think studying by television is better.



In a word, I hold we can learn more from studying bytelevision than studying by book

sylviazhang

感觉举例特别好， 特别生活特别实际，不假大空，有说服力，但是固定搭配一些语法基础等还需加强