改变 加油！！！ 作文贴

改变

停了好久之后又开始  加油！！！

Independent Writing：
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
To get successful in study or job, which do you think is more important? Having the ability to adapt to changing circumstances or having excellent knowledge about one specific field.

Today, the competition is becoming more and more intensive among people. People must put lots of effort to be successful on study or job. Some people argue that being adapt to changing circumstances is more important than having excellent knowledge about one specific field because circumstance is changing rapidly. However, others hold the opposite attitude. They hold that you will be successful in study or job as long as you have excellent knowledge about one specific field. Thorough careful observation and comprehensive thought, I find I am inclined to the first one.

First, we are in the society which is under quick development. Every day, lots of new technique is created and applied to production. Meanwhile, amount of outdated knowledge and experience is put away. The rate of technique development exceeds our imagination. 15 years ago, the radio receiver was popular in city. Almost all of the families had one at least. At that time, radio is the main method for citizen to learn news. However, the radio is outdated and obsolete now. In my hometown, you even could not find an electrical shop where it sells radio receivers. If you have excellent knowledge on production of radio receiver, you did great 15 years ago. But now, if you could not adapt to the changing society, all of you expertise is usefulness since there is no demand on that.

Second, you will have more opportunity to successful if you adapt to changing circumstances. Everything has their life cycles in the world. Everything experience introduction, growth, maturity and decline stage. If you have the ability to adapt to changing circumstance, you can change you strategy flexibly. When your products are under the growth stage, you can put more capital on that to make more profit. When your products are under decline stage, you should pull out of your capital and find new product to invest. Only in this way could you be successful for longer period of time rather than be fall behind with your initial product.

Of course, being master in certain area is important because this ability can help you to have a good start. But if you want to maintain successful for a long time, you must learn to adapt to changing circumstance because some changes is inevitable and unexpected. You could not do more than to adapt to that.

In a word, I think having the ability to adapt to changing circumstances is more important than having excellent knowledge about one specific field.

heys

Today, the competition is becoming more and more intensive among people. People must put lots of effort感觉spare no efforts  不遗余力做某事  可能会更地道 to be successful on study or job. Some people argue that being adapt to changing circumstances is more important than having excellent knowledge about one specific field because circumstance is changing rapidly. However, others hold the opposite attitude搭配的话用HAVE吧，hold一般都跟piont,view之类的搭. They hold that you will be successful in study or job as long as you have excellent knowledge about one specific field. Thorough careful observation and comprehensive thought, I find I am inclined to the first one.

First, we are in the society which is under quick development. Every day, lots of new technique is created and applied to production. Meanwhile, amount of outdated knowledge and experience is put away. The rate of technique development exceeds our imagination. 15 years ago, the radio receiver was popular in city. Almost all of the families had one at least. At that time, radio is the main method for citizen to learn news. However, the radio is outdated and obsolete now. In my hometown, you even could not find an electrical shop（ where it）这里直接用which就好了吧 sells radio receivers. If you have excellent knowledge on production of radio receiver, you did great 15 years ago. But now, if you could not adapt to the changing society, all of you expertise is usefulnessless才是否定后缀吧，ness貌似是名词后缀 since there is no demand on that. 例子举得很符合题意，也支持了自己观点

Second, you will have more opportunity(es复数） to be successful if you adapt to changing circumstances. Everything has their life cycles in the world. Everything experiences introduction, growth, maturity and decline stage. If you have the ability to adapt to changing circumstance, you can change your strategy flexibly. When your products are under the growth stage, you can put more capital on that to make more profit. When your products are under decline stage, you should pull out of your capital and find new product to invest. Only in this way could you (be successfu)lsucceed感觉这样搭一些，因为不确定fall是不是有跟前面一样的形式for longer period of time rather than (be) fall behind with your initial product.

Of course, being master in certain area is important because this ability can help you to have a good start. But if you want to maintain successful for a long time, you must learn to adapt to changing circumstance because some changes is inevitable and unexpected. You could not do more than to adapt to that.

In a word, I think having the ability to adapt to changing circumstances is more important than having excellent knowledge about one specific field结尾好简单·


我也是新手啦，今天第一次给被人改作文，不好话还见谅哦
高亮部分是写的好的
总的来说写的不错，比我好多啦。用的词汇都比较高级，如果能灵活的用不同的方法表发一个意思就更好了，比如里面的SUCCESS,SUCCESSFUL,SUCCEED可以换着用，增加语言的丰富性，再就是有些搭配可能有点小问题，不那么地道。不过这也不是一天两天能改的啦，做写些，多接触可能就会好点
文章逻辑结构清晰，举的例子也很合理，一些逻辑词也用的顺，行文流畅，但是结尾感觉真的太简单太直白了····

看到你以前写的那么多作文或者总结，感觉你还是很努力的，可惜的是没能坚持下来
我现在也是决定每天写，因为马上要考试了，所以一起加油吧
不过你改的时候能不能换个颜色，不然真的看不清···眼睛都要瞎掉了好么···
一懒二拖三不读书，真是说到点子上去了，既然醒了，就fighting吧~

改变

恩 谢谢了 我用word改了之后 粘贴上去就没有了 不知道怎么回事

改变

Independent Writing：
Which way do you think is the best for a student to make new friends.a. joing a sports team, b. participate in community activities, c. traveling
Integrated Writing：
TPO26


Nowadays, there are various different ways to make new friends. Joining a sports team, participate in community activities and traveling are three important methods. Each of them has own unique feature. In my opinion, participate in community activities is better to reach your goal- making new friends-than the two other ways.

First, community activities are most accessible for most people. Everybody lives in his or her own community. Every several weeks, members are invited to take in community activity, like jogging, cleaning community road and donating old dresses to the poor. Almost all of the members could involve in these activities. By this way, you can make a lot of friends easily. However, there are some limits set on the sports team and traveling. If you want to join a sports team, you must have the corresponding specialty on this area. If not, the team would not accept you. If you want to travel around, you need plenty of time and enough funds to support you to complete the travel. Obviously，many people could not meet these conditions, especially for people who live in our times. People often be occupied his jobs long time. So, maybe they would not take a nice trip. Compared with the two methods, taking community activities is easier. You just need several hours and you will make a lot of new friends.

Second, the circumstance on community activities is good for you to make new friend successfully. You might clean the road through your community with your neighbor. You might jog together with other members of your community. You can start up your conversation with other during these activities. That will be a good start when the people find they are doing the same things with you. This kind of relaxing form is important for start of friendship. People can talk each other when they are doing community activities. However, the practice time is not allowed the member to talk free. After the practice, the team members become very tired. Some of them even do not want to open their mouths. The same plots happen when people take a travel. Travel is a very energy-consuming activity. Travelers will meet the same problem, which the sports members meet.
All of these problems make the latter two ways to make new friends difficultly. We can easily see that community activities are more unofficial and less energy required. So I think this is best among all of the three methods.

In a word, I think taking part in community activities is the best way to make friends because they are more accessible for people and the circumstance is better to make new friends.

19911006

改变 发表于 2013-8-6 11:06
Independent Writing：
Which way do you think is the best for a student to make new friends.a. joing  ...

Nowadays, there are various different（这两个词语意重复，用一个就好） ways to make new friends. Joining a sports team, participate（participating这是主语） in community activities and traveling are three important methods. Each of them has own unique feature. In my opinion, participate（同上） in community activities is better to reach your goal- making new friends-than the two other ways.First, community activities are most accessible for most people. Everybody lives in his or her own community. Every several weeks, members are invited to take in（take part in，take in是接纳，吸收的意思） community activity, like jogging, cleaning community road and donating old dresses to the poor. Almost all of the members could involve in these activities. By this way, you can make a lot of friends easily. However（however一般使用在同一事物的不同方面的比较，这里的话直接用比较级来说明即可）, there are some limits set on the sports team and traveling. If you want to join a sports team, you must have the corresponding specialty（这个值得商榷） on this area. If not, the team would not accept you. If you want to travel around, you need plenty of time and enough funds to support you to complete the travel. Obviously，many people could not meet these conditions, especially for people who live in our times. People often be occupied his jobs long time. So, maybe they would not take a nice trip. Compared with the two methods, taking community activities is easier. You just need several hours and you will make a lot of new friends.Second, the circumstance on community activities is good for you to make new friend successfully. You might clean the road through your community with your neighbor. You might jog together with other members of your community. You can start up your conversation with others during these activities. That will be a good start when the people find they are doing the same things with you. This kind of relaxing form is important for start of friendship.(这句话啥意思） People can talk with each other when they are doing community activities. However, the practice time is not allowed the member to talk free. After the practice, the team members become very tired. Some of them even do not want to open their mouths. The same plots happen when people take a travel. Travel（traveling） is a very energy-consuming activity. Travelers will meet the same problem, which the sports members meet. All of these problems make the latter two ways to make new friends difficultly. We can easily see that community activities are more unofficial and less energy required. So I think this is best among all of the three methods.In a word, I think taking part in community activities is the best way to make friends because they are more accessible for people and the circumstance is better to make new friends.

文章总体写得不错，但是也存在一些问题1.语法或者用词欠妥 2.题目中有涉及到student，文章中却很少提及，和题目联系不是很紧密

改变

Independent Writing：
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
人们不像以前那样尊重长辈了
Integrated Writing：
TPO2

这篇写的好差 那位同学改得见谅了
Today, with the higher life level and cleaner food, more and more people can live much longer than their ancestors. But, a lot of the elders hold the opinion that they do not receive as much respect as their parents did. They feel they are been looked down by the whole society. Of course, some people hold this kind of idea is only their imagination. The society support and respect the elders constantly. From what I observe, I find people do not respect to elders as much as their parents did.

First, more and more young people could not accept the their life style. Many elders prefer to sleep early and get up early. What the contemporary people do is just opposite. They did not go to bed until midnight and get up near the middle of the day. The elder prefer to work in the morning because you will have clear mind after a good sleep. The young would rather work in the night because the quite environment could make them more focus on their work. All of these distinctions lay between the elder and the young. Because the different life styles, the two groups of people often have some debate, even quarrel. The elders think their children do not listen to them anymore. However, this symptom occurs recently, most from recent 30 years. When the elders were young, they followed the same life style as their parents. Influenced by this feeling, they feel they do not receive enough respect.

Second, many teenagers hold that the mind of old is kind of outdated. What makes teenagers excited, like computer games, extreme sports and TV series, could not attract lots of elders. The teenagers think the elders is fall behind to the times. They sometimes could not find a common topic with their parents. Sometimes we called this "age gap". Normally, this existed everywhere and every generation. But the situation become more worse because the development rate of technology is several times faster than that several 50 years ago. The high spread of development also overthrows a lot of traditional opinion. Some ideas that the elders insist on look meaningless, even superstitious from the eyes of young people. Just as lack of these common interests and belief, the elder find they have few and few conversation with the young. Then they feel they did not receive enough respect.

Of course, we can find a lot of young people are willing to talk to the elders and listen to their suggestion. The elder are also happy to receive the novelty idea and skill. When the common interests occurred, the elders feel they receive much of attention and respect from the young people. But this group do not count majority. The gap enlarges and this kind of disrespect happens more prevalent.

In a word, I think the elders receive less respect than their ancestor received.

jacki1

思路不错
建议写作前先搜集相关资料，然后习作。