berylbilee的作文成长记录簿 谢谢各位的帮忙啦！

berylbilee

刚刚接触托福作文，而且经过一个寒假笔拙了不少。希望各位指点！

2. 21 独立作文
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Young people now are more likely to help others than young people were in the past.

Young people are the center of discussion all the time and arguements about the characteristics of young people today and in the past have never got out of the spotlight. As time goes by,young people do change a lot such as they are more likely to help others.

One crucial reason is that young people easily access to the outside world through multi-media. They know how others suffer more easily which incentives them to help. That is to say, more empathy is the reason why young people nowdays are more willing to help. Once they know they have better living standard than other people, they might come up with an idea that it's the time to give it back to the society. For instant, young people now are more than happy to paticipate in voluntteer jobs than in the past. They enjoy being the one who offer help and warmth.

Society also offer young people more approaches to help others such as various charitable funds, which provide them more opportunities to fulfill their empathy. In the past, even when people are willing to help others, they can not find a proper way to. Since it's becoming more and more convenient to offer help to others, young people today are more likely to help.They may donate a fraction of their pocket money to funds through cyber bank.

What's more, no one can deny the fact that helping others factually let us feel rewarding. And young people today have more clear idea about what that really means than in the past. To realize the values of life, young people choose to help others to prove that they are capable enough to deliver warmth to others so as to overthrow the questioning about the younger generation from the old.

In conclude, we can say that young people are more likely to help others in terms of the growing recognition of assisting others.

lihaolan

我晚上回去帮你改要迟点！

berylbilee

好的~谢谢啦

berylbilee

Which way do you think is the best for a student to make new friends？
a. joining a sports team, b. participate in community activities, c. Traveling
Nowadays people are all connected to each other in different ways, such as connecting as friends. As we are amid a huge sociel network,no one could deny the fact that we all need friends and no one could stand the feeling of being lonely either. Therefore, an army of people even try out alternative approaches to make new friends. Joining a sports team and participating in community activities are both excellent choices, since the more people you meet, the more opportunities for you to get to know people. But as for me, travelling is the best way to make new friends as following reasons.

First of all, being in a totally strange place and meeting new people from different backgrounds in a travelling mood let us feel at ease. When people relax themselves and enjoy the less stressful ambience, they are more likely to open up their minds to new friends. People are anxious about letting friends know more about them if they have tomeet each other often. It's just as awkward as being naked completely in front of people you are familiar with.

What's more, usually travellers have more topics to chat with since they travel to the same place and share similar experience. That's a really good start of making new friends. When I travelled to singapore alone last time, I made a large number of new friends because we talked about different interesting places and exchanged experience.

In addition, as a student, we are openminded and full of energy. So when it comes to travelling, we can't helping thinking about adventures and explorations, which means people we spend time together when travelling can usually become our new friends because of the rare experience we share as a group. I can not forget people travel with with me since they gave me such amazing memories.

Making new friends is the most beautiful experience for me while I travel. Of course there're hundreds and thousands of ways to get to know people, however, travelling is the best for students.

lihaolan

Young people(youngsters) are in the center of discussion all the time and arguments (discussion) about the characteristics of young people today and in the past have (has) never got out of the spotlight. As time goes by, young people do change a lot such as they are more likely to help others.

One crucial reason is that young people easily access(contract with) to the outside world through multi-media. They know how others suffer more easily(不要用easily这种词。。。) which incentives(形容词incentive ,inspire) them to help. That is to say, more empathy（sympathy） is the reason why young people nowdays（nowadays） are more willing to help. Once they know they have better living standard than other people, they might come up with an idea that it's the time to give it back to the society. For instant, young people now are more than happy to paticipate in voluntteer jobs than（more willing to participate in volunteer jobs than）in the past. They enjoy being the one who offer help and warmth.

Society also offer （offers）young people more approaches to help others such as various charitable funds, which provide them more opportunities to fulfill their empathy（sympathy）. In the past, even when people are willing to help others, they cannot find a proper way to realize their ambitions. Since it's becoming more and more convenient to offer help（help用烂了，aid ，give a hand ） to others, young people today are more likely to offer help. They may donate a fraction of their pocket money to funds through cyber bank.

What's more, no one can deny the fact that helping others factually let us feel rewarding想不出用什么词，但是别扭. And young people today have more clear idea about what that really means than in the past. To realize the values of life, young people choose to help others to prove that they are capable enough to deliver warmth to others so as to overthrow the questioning about the younger generation from the old（senior）.

In conclude（conclusion）, we can say that young people are more likely to help others in terms of the growing recognition of assisting others.

作者最好加强基础的用词，语法，不要片面追求表达的华丽。有些词可以替换。有些小错误要注意。有些地方有些不顺，有点生硬，做到自然点就好。

berylbilee

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Nowadays it is easier to maintain good health than in the past.

Health is a prior consideration of people today other than money or power. And health is also regarded as the vital factor that impacts happiness of life. Heated discussion of maintaining health seems will never get out of the spotlight. Personally, I totally agree with the statement that it is easier to maintain good health than before.

Speaking of health, the first concept that comes up in my mind is nutrition.Undoubtfully, if people get better nutrition, they tend to gain a better health condition. Comparing with the past, with development of economy, people nowadays get a lot more and better nutrition than they used to do. Children in some south africa countries are more likely to get diseases since their immune system is extremely weak due to the lack of nutrition, which is to say, nutrition really matters to people's health. But still, Africans experience higher survival rate than before since they have already got more nutrition.

What's more, advanced medical technology largely prolong life. Most people access to treatment without too much effort if they got sick. Varied antibiotics which are modern inventions keep us away from threatens of illness. In otherword, with the help of medicine, we are easier to maintain health.

Last but not least, we are not at the arguiculture age anymore, which means people do not have to exchange physical strenth for living. And this, to some extent, protects people from being harmed by the nature or tireness.

From the reason listed above, we can clearly draw a conclusion that it's easier to maintain good health than in the past.

berylbilee

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
It is not necessary for university students to attend classes as long as they can pass their examinations.



Why so many students are so longing to enter university? What exactly is their initial purpose to become a university student? Is getting a degree the only or the primary motivation for them? I dont think so. Thus, passing examinations definitely ranks lower than some other factors that impact the the lives of university students. I think not only for passing exams, student should atten classes for following reasons.

We are eager to asipre knowledge! I believe in every students' mind or even human being's mind, we have a initial need to be civilized. We aspire knowledge. We don't belittle it because it doesn't make us feel inferior. We cherish and seize every chance to recieve wisdom no matter where it is from and who is the one deliver it to us. In other word, attending class is an vital extrinsic approach for us to satisfy our own needs on the disire of knowledge. For getting knowledge is the prior factor that we consider, I can think of any reason that drives students away from classes.

We show respect to our teachers! For me, classes means knowledge and interation. It's an undoutful fact that our teachers are more knowledgeable in some specific fields than we are. Most of the time, to some extent, attending or even participating in classes show respect to knowledge our teachers own and their authority in some areas. More important is, we are delivering a sign that we are more than willing to learn from them.

Admidittly, some students might think that passing the exams means they are qualified and they also reach the requirement of the university as a students. But what's the point of entering a universtiy if you do not get knowledge from others and be so arrogant? Attending classes can also test on one's characteristics as well. Whether he or she is modest enough to learn from others and differences opinions towards a problem.  It's not rare to see students hold different ideas with their professors. So it's the time for students to put them forward in class and have an open discussion with teachers and classmates. Some shining points and aspiration come in this way and I am sure this kind of conversation benefits a lot not only on helping us to pass exams. It's a process of thinking and introspecting, which we can only get from class.

As passing the exams is not the ultimate goal, it's necessary for university students to attend classes for reasons above. As a result, we should always bear it in mind that what we cherish most as a student. It is knowledge.

morphine001

Health is a prior consideration of people today other than money or power. And health is also regarded as the vital factor that impacts happiness of life. Heated discussion of maintaining health seems will never get out of the spotlight. Personally, I totally agree with the statement that it is easier to maintain good health than before.

Speaking of health, the first concept that comes up in my mind is nutrition.Undoubtfully, if people get better nutrition, they will tend to gain a better health condition. Comparing with the past, with development of economy, Since the development of economy, people nowadays get a lot more and better nutrition than they used to do. Children in some south africa countries are more likely to get diseases since their immune system is extremely weak due to the lack of nutrition, which is to say, nutrition really matters to people's health. But still, Africans experience higher survival rate than before since they have already got more nutrition. （感觉论证的有些乱啊）

What's more, advanced medical technology largely prolong life. Most people could access to treatment easily without worringwithout too much effort if they got sick. Varied antibiotics which are modern inventions keep us away from threatens of illness. In otherword, with the help of medicine, we are easier to maintain health.

Last but not least, thanks to the end of arguiculture age, which means people do not have to exchange physical strenth work in the fields and struggle to live at the expense of health. And this, to some extent, protects people from being harmed by the nature or tireness.

From the reason listed above, we can clearly draw a conclusion that it's easier to maintain good health than in the past.

努力吧同学。。。

king0115

Why so manystudents are so longing(aspire) to enter university? What exactly is theirinitial purpose to become a university student? Is getting a degree the only orthe primary motivation for them? I don’t think so. Thus, passing examinations definitely ranks lower than some otherfactors that impact the the lives of university students(passing examinations is not the only in campus life). I think not only for passing exams, student should attendclasses for following reasons.(I thinkstudents attend classes not only for passing exams, but also for followingreasons.)

We are eager to asipre knowledge!(这句没看懂) I believe in every students' mind or evenhuman being's mind, we have a initial need to be civilized. We aspire for knowledge.We don't belittle it because it doesn't make us feel inferior. We cherish andseize every chance to recieve wisdom no matter where it is from and who is theone deliver it to us. In other word, attending class is an vital extrinsicapproach for us to satisfy our own needs on the desire ofknowledge. For getting knowledge is the prior factor that we consider, I canthink of any reason that drives students away from classes.

We showrespect to our teachers! For me, classes means knowledge and interation. It'san undoubtful fact that our teachers are more knowledgeable in somespecific fields than we are. Most of the time, to some extent, attending or even participating(感觉一样的意思) in classes showrespect to knowledge our teachers own and their authority in some areas.（晕了，又没看懂这句） More important is, we are delivering a sign that we aremore than willing to learn from them.

Admidittly(Admittedly), some students might think that passing the exams meansthey are qualified and they also reach the requirement of the university as astudents. But what's the point of entering a university if youdo not get knowledge from others and be so arrogant? Attending classes can alsotest on one's characteristics as well. Whether he or she is modest enough tolearn from others and differences opinions towards a problem.  It's notrare to see students hold different ideas with their professors. So it's thetime for students to put them forward in class and have an open discussion withteachers and classmates. Some shining points and aspiration come in this wayand I am sure this kind of conversation benefits a lot not only on helping usto pass exams. It's a process of thinking and introspecting, which we can onlyget from class.

As passingthe exams is not the ultimate goal, it's necessary for university students toattend classes for reasons above. As a result, we should always bear it in mindthat what we cherish most as a student. It is knowledge.

楼主文中缺少例子（托福要求有细节描述即证明你观点的例子），同时论证有些乱。我就发现了这些