sunchou的写作作业（新人第一次参加，求狠批）

renehan

Independent. 题目：
Doyou agree or disagree with the following statement?
Your job has greater happiness than your social work does.
 With the development of civilization, people in society are assigneddifferent types of jobs to fulfill. Besides, people reassigned with social work with or without their conscious(这一句，我没看明白你想表达什么，我们再沟通). In myopinion, my job has greater happiness than my social work does. The idea willbe illustrated as following.
 Basically, as a human being in a highly developed economic society, Iobtain a lot of happiness from my job because it offersmoney./in many different ways. （接下来的分段都写了不只是钱，还是其它带来幸福感，这里的总结词就不能写money） Obviously, it is not money but thecredit and emotional award after the accomplishment of a job that delights me.Absolutely(这里最好用下表转折的词，如although,因为你前后说的内容不顺承了),the social work undertake contributes happiness to me as well, (这中间最好再加几句，解释一下为啥social work带来的happiness少一些) it is just a little lessstimulating compared with the happiness brought by my job. That’s why my jobhas greater happiness than my social work dose.
 In addition, it is not only the money but also the sense of value thatcan entertain you/me(记住通篇的人称，me。不要写混乱了). It is widely acknowledgedthat a young man should equip with a wide range of knowledge as well as astrong sense of responsibility to contribute his energy(devote himself) to construct the country. That’s/ which is a highly praised value. How can wecontribute to construct our county, the answer is getting a job. For example,being a teacher, you will feel proud to communicate/impartknowledge to the next generation that may change the whole world. What’s more,being a city cleaner, you are highly appreciated to build a clean andcomfortable living environment for the citizen. Life is going to illuminate/be colorful andshining once you have get a job.
 At last, having jobs generates positive influence on the socialimprovement. Jobs are imperative / necessary to people’s(注意词汇的用法，有些词的中文解释可能并不完全) social life and it is obvious that people would become inspired byothers who obtain a good job. It is like acompetition in a race, no one is willing to be left behind. With the help ofthis positive recycling (effect, inspiration, or motivation) 注意用词 , small communities / people (建议改回people, 扣题) get the energy to move forward. In long term, the whole country eventhe world obtains the power harnessed (这词有点多余吧？你想表达什么意思?) from theirresidents to move forward.
 Because of the reasons I mentioned above, my job has greater happinessthan my social work does. It turns out to befascinating if everyone could stand a chance to find a job on the colorful wayof life.
思路比较赞，我写作文思路经常跑偏。还是同样的问题，建议雕琢用词。加油!

sunchou

2月21日. 综合： 题目 TPO2

In the reading passage, it is highly recognized that assembling a group ofpeople into a team offers several advantages. Members in a team can be rewardedas well. To the contrary, the professor disagrees with the idea.

  Firstly, the professor castsdoubt on the point illustrated in the reading passage that the teamwork is efficient.He raises an issue in a company, where several groups of workers were gatheredinto several teams respectively. As for the company managers, they providerecognition on the group as a whole while ignore the individuals in the team.The efficiency will not be improved through team work because teammates wouldspend much time on meetings to reach agreement on the project.

  Secondly, the passage claims thatevery member of the team could be rewarded in a group process. However, theprofessor disputes the point by giving the example of a team including someinfluential people. In fact, other members' opinions would be greatly weakenedand even ignored when the opinions of the influential people are raised. That willdefenitely do harm to the team.

  In conclusion, the professorapparently disputes what is presented in the reading passage. Team work mayblock the process of the project. Also, orientation of the team may be misledbecause of the influential people.
独立。题目：
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Young people now are more likely to help others than young people were in the past.
With the development of society, people areinclined to become gentle and kind-hearted in social affairs. Sometimes,offering others a hand conducts a sense of care and harmony, which brings awave of warmth to people. In my opinion, young people are more likely to helpothers than they were before.

  Aswe take the technology into consideration, it is not difficult to find thatyoung people are more likely to give a hand to others than they were before. Nowadays,young people have a large quantity of access to communicating with each other.For instance, QQ and micro blogs. Information is transmitted from one person toanother at the speed of light. If a person needs help, say, finding anunfamiliar place, a large number of young people would give him or her a handwithin seconds. Obviously, this could not happen in the past. Thus, advancedtechnology enhances the speed of help in the young people.
  Inaddition, it is more common than the past that young people realize thesignificance of learning from each other. As problems in modern society arealways demanding a wide range of knowledge, a group of people corresponding todifferent fields in society are required to work together. Young people arefond of this cooperation because it is a fast and convenient way for them toget improved in several aspects. For example, a young engineer may obtain aknowledge in astronomy as he gives a hand to a young astronomer about a mathematicalcalculation. What’s more, he is able to improve his communication skills whilediscussing with the young astronomer.
  Highlyimproved education contributes to the phenomenon that young people are morelikely to help, too. In the past, social attention was focused on the survivalof the poor. To the contrary, in modern times, human society draws muchattention to education. Young people receive a tremendous support the nationalgovernment, as a consequence, they get well educated in an environment wherethere are patient teacher, glorious teaching buildings and a group of ingeniouscounterparts.
  I get a strong sense of feeling that youngpeople are more likely to help than they were before. Besides, I definitely appealthat more young people offer their hands to others in order to improve themselves,others as well as the nation.

sunchou

2.22 作业

综合：题目 TPO3

The professor holds adifferent opinion about whether the painting discussed in the reading passageis a work by Rembrandt. The reading passage claims that the painting does notbelong to Rembrandt's work, on the contrary, the professor argues the paintingis a work by Rambrandt and expresses his reasons in three aspects.

  First, the inconsistency. Thepassage illustrates that there is something inconsistent about the way thewoman in the portrait is dressed. However, the professor claims that throughx-ray experiment, the inconsistent place wasn't part of the original painting.

  Second, the light and shadow. Thepassage presents the point that there is an error of light and shadow used inthe painting. On the contrary, the professor raises the issue that once theoriginal painting is recovered, the elements light and shadow fit togetherwell.

  Last, wood panels. In thepassage, no painting known to be by Rembrandt uses a panel glued together inthis way from several pieces of wood. The professor, on the other hand, claimsthat the original painting was on a single piece of wood, which reflects thehabit of Rembrandt exactly.

  In conclusion, the professorapparently disputes what is illustrated in the reading passage on the threeaspects discussed above.
独立 题目
Which way do you think is the best for a student to make new friends？
a. joining a sports team, b. participate in community activities, c. Traveling
Socialrelationship is now developing by leaps and bounds. It is widely acknowledgedthat a good relationship, such as friendship, can serve as a consistent sourceof energy on one’s living. So what is the best way to make new friends? Personally,participating in community activities stands out among any other choices.
  It is especially significant for one whowants to make new friends to figure out the right candidates. In modernsociety, people in an area are interacting with each other throughout the dailylife. As a result, one can be easily influenced by the surrounding environment.For example, a hard-working student is likely to get addicted to computer gamesif all the people around him play computer games day and night. That’s why Iinsist choosing friends by participating in community activities which attractstudents sharing the identical value to gather together and to work for thesame goals.
  In addition, friendship built in thecommunity activities is one of the most treasure and lasting relationships,which benefits a person for a lifetime. A group of researchers in PekingUniversity recently have discovered part of the reasons. It is found thatstudents in the same community are inclined to help each other unconsciously.In fact, they enjoy this kind of contribution and improve their social abilitythrough regularly communication and corporation. For example, sometimes a teammember feels sad about his or her final exam grades, the others are willing tooffer their hands to relieve the person’s feelings, which touches and impressesthe person deeply.
  Making friends by participating in communityactivities is also one of the most efficient ways to achieve success in one’slife. Various students majoring in a number of fields are assembled together,consequently, each team member stands a great chance to pick up fresh knowledgein a wide range of area. With the development of society, modern employers havedeveloped the preference to select employees equipped with multiple ofknowledge. In this sense, participating in community activities enables one toachieve his or her dreams fast.
  Friendship is treasure for everyone. It isthe best way to make new friends by participating community activities since ithelps one to figure out the right friends, to obtain a consistent relationshipand to achieve the dreams.

berylbilee

独立。题目：
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Young people now are more likely to help others than young people were in the past.
With the development of society, people areinclined to become gentle and kind-hearted in social affairs. Sometimes,offering others a hand conducts a sense of care and harmony, which brings awave（awareness) of warmth to people. In my opinion, young people are more likely to helpothers than they were before.

 Aswe take the technology into consideration, it is not difficult to find thatyoung people are more likely to give a hand to others than they were before. Nowadays,young people have a large quantity of access to communicating（这个说法有些许怪异，或许可以改成 are more likely to  access to communication)  with each other.For instance, QQ and micro blogs.(这个句子缺谓宾 are welcomed amid young people)Information is transmitted from one person toanother at the speed of light. If a person needs help, say, finding(finding 主要指找到，这里用looking for会比较恰当） anunfamiliar place, a large number of young people would give him or her a handwithin seconds. Obviously, this could not happen in the past. Thus, advancedtechnology enhances the speed of help in the young people.
 Inaddition, it is more common than the past that young people realize thesignificance of learning from each other. As problems（读完整个句子不太了解这里problems的意思） in modern society arealways demanding（用现在时demands会更好，强调不变性） a wide range of knowledge, a group of people corresponding todifferent fields in society are required to work together. Young people arefond of this cooperation because it is a fast and convenient way for them toget improved in several aspects. For example, a young engineer may obtain aknowledge in astronomy as he gives a hand to a young astronomer about a mathematicalcalculation. What’s more, he is able to improve his communication skills whilediscussing with the young astronomer.   Highlyimproved education contributes to the phenomenon that young people are morelikely to help, too. In the past, social attention was focused on the survivalof the poor. To the contrary, in modern times, human society draws muchattention to education. Young people receive a tremendous support the nationalgovernment, （句子在这里结束full stop，下一句大写）as a consequence, they get well educated in an environment wherethere are patient teacher, glorious teaching buildings and a group of ingeniouscounterparts.
 I get a strong sense of feeling that youngpeople are more likely to help than they were before. Besides, I definitely appealthat more young people offer their hands to others in order to improve themselves,others as well as the nation.（ improve others and the nation? what's that mean)
以上都是我小小的建议，请斟酌采用。三个论点都挺清晰的，词组和句型都用得娴熟，需要向你学习。但有些句子的表达有点费解哦^^还有，很多单词都粘在一起了呢。

woshimind

In the reading passage, it is highly recognized that assembling a group ofpeople into a team offers several advantages. Members in a team can be rewardedas well. To the contrary, the professor disagrees with the idea.

  Firstly, the professor casts doubt on the point illustrated in the reading passage that the teamwork is efficient.He raises an issue in a company, where several groups of workers were gatheredinto several teams respectively. As for the company managers, they providerecognition on the group as a whole while they ignore the individuals in the team.The efficiency will not be improved through team work because teammates wouldspend much time on meetings to reach agreement on the project.

  Secondly, the passage claims thatevery member of the team could be rewarded in a group process. However, theprofessor disputes the point by giving the example of a team including someinfluential people. In fact, other members' opinions would be greatly weakenedand even ignored when the opinions of the influential people are raised. That willdefenitely do harm to the team.

  In conclusion, the professorapparently disputes what is presented in the reading passage. Team work mayblock the process of the project. Also, orientation of the team may be misledbecause of the influential people.


如果有更多细节就更牛逼了

morphine001

Social relationship is now developing by leaps and bounds. It is widely acknowledged that a good relationship, such as friendship, can serve as a consistent sourceof energy on one’s living. So what is the best way to make new friends? Personally,participating in community activities stands out among any other choices.
  It is especially significant for one who wants to make new friends to figure out the right(potential) candidates. In modern society, people in an area are interacting with each other throughout the dailylife. As a result, one can be easily influenced by the surrounding environment.For example, a hard-working student is likely to get addicted to computer gamesif all the people around him play computer games day and night. That’s why I insist choosing friends by participating in community activities which attractstudents sharing the identical value to gather together and to work for thesame goals.（感觉用反例论证不太明晰啊 最好是直接就说有共同兴趣会如何）
  In addition, friendship built in thecommunity activities is one of the most treasure and lasting relationships,which benefits a person for a lifetime. （感觉这样说没太有主次，你是想说友情是会让人终生受益吧）Friendship built in the community activities will benefit us for a lifetime, a treasure that we deserve. A group of researchers in PekingUniversity recently have discovered part of the reasons. It is found thatstudents in the same community are inclined to help each other unconsciously.In fact, they enjoy this kind of contribution and improve their social abilitythrough regularly communication and corporation. For example, sometimes a teammember feels sad about his or her final exam grades, the others are willing tooffer their hands to relieve the person’s feelings, which touches and impressesthe person deeply. (论证对论点的支持太薄弱了)
  Making friends by participating in communityactivities is also one of the most efficient ways to achieve success in one’slife. Various students majoring in a number of fields (in different major) are assembled together,consequently, each team member stands a great chance to pick up fresh knowledgein a wide range of area. With the development of society, modern employers havedeveloped the preference to select employees equipped with multiple ofknowledge. In this sense, participating in community activities enables one to achieve his or her dreams fast. （论证的是交友方法。。。。不太推荐引申这么多别的内容出来，跟友情的好处没关系）
  Friendship is treasure for everyone. It is the best way to make new friends by participating community activities since ithelps one to figure out the right friends, to obtain a consistent relationshipand to achieve the dreams.

sunchou

2.24作业

综合写作 TPO5  

The reading passage states threecompeting theories to explain the use of the "great houses". Theprofessor, on the other side, claims that none of these theories is convincing.

  The first theory in the readingpassage holds that the Chaco structures were purely residential and each housedhundreds of people. On the contrary, the professor points out the houses lookresidential from outsight, but not insight. He raises the issue that small fireplace in the house can't support too many families.

  The second theory in the readingpassage is that the Chaco structures were used to store food supplies. However,the professor casts doubt on the theory by raising the fact that the correspondingevidence is rarely discovered. Researchers didn't find evidence such as theremaining food containers to support the second theory in the passage.

  A third theory in the readingpassage proposes that houses were used as ceremonial centers. The third theoryis supported by the discovery of an enormous mound formed by a pile of oldmaterial in the reading passage. But the professor claims that other materialssuch as building materials were also found in the mound. What's more, thebroken pots might be the leftover in regular meals instead of in ceremonies.

  In conclusion, the professorapparently disputes the theories illustrated in the passage.


独立写作 题目
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
It is not necessary for university students to attend classes as long as they can pass their examinations.

Advanced education isgrowing by leaps and bounds in recent years, and the university, considered asa symbol of higher education, undergoes a fast developing phase. Universitiesare now attracting an increasing number of students as well as the publicattention. Many students choose not to attend the class as long as they canpass the examination. On the contrary, I believe they have made a mistake.

  Examinations, as an artificialtool to test a student's study result, can not be perfect and complete. It iswidely acknowledged that nothing is perfect. In other words, a student ispossibly not qualified for his major even he has passed the examination. What'smore, a lazy student may pass the examination by accident, which in fact, he learns,almost nothing. Relying on the examination result is not scientific, so it isnecessary for student to endeavor to attend every class.

  In addition, study is not forexaminations. It is a significantly mistake if students attend classes only forthe sake of examinations.  As a modernuniversity student, we need to bear in mind that the purpose of studying is towiden the horizon, to solve the mystery and unknown, to fulfill oneself and toserve the country. Attending the classes is definitely not to pass theexaminations. It is an attitude instead of the pretending appearance to study.

  Besides, it is a misleadingdirection for students if they were told that it is not necessary for them toattend the class as long as they can pass the examinations. Students willeasily become impatient not only with their study but also with their otherlife affairs. For instance, a student might feel all his working is to completea destined task. Once he finishes the task, he could play computer games anddrink alcohol at liberty. The future of the student might totally change into awrong direction, he is likely to harm other people, society even the country.It is a serious situation but can be prevented from the beginning.
  Students whowant to succeed in the future must adjust their attitude towards studying andrealize the serious consequence of being absent from classes. In my opinion, itis definitely necessary for student to endeavor to attend every class no matterwhat the examinations will be.

sunchou

2.25 作业

综合写作 题目 TPO6    

  Three criticisms are listed inthe reading passage, demonstrating that the communal online encyclopedias haveseveral important problems that make them much less valuable than traditional,printed encyclopedias. On the contrary, the professor disputes the pointsillustrated in the passage.

  First, the reading passageindicates that there are errors in the online encyclopedia. However, theprofessor raises the issue that a perfect documentary which includes no errorsdoes not exist. What' more, the errors in traditional encyclopedias will remaina long time. But errors in online encyclopedias will be fixed quickly.

  Second, it is supposed thatonline encyclopedia may be attacked by hackers in the reading passage. Theprofessor disputes the point by stating two popular used strategies to preventthe hackers. The first strategy is to set the web in a read only mode so thatothers can't change the original text. Besides, there are many special editorswho can control the information shown on the website.

  Last, the reading passage statesthat too much information is included in the online encyclopedias compared withthe traditional encyclopedia. People may become confused with onlineencyclopedias. But the professor claims that it is the limited space that leadsto the limited information in traditional encyclopedia. In addition, coveringwide range of interest is the strongest advantage of online encyclopedia.

独立写作 题目
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Students can get as many benefits from organization or club activities as they can get from their academic studies.

  With the development of society,the teaching quality in the university is growing by leaps and bounds. Have youever been in an off-campus activity planting small trees? Have you everorganized a singing competition of you academy? Have you ever been awarded becauseof a club activity?

   If you have not had suchexperiences, you would never know how many benefits you can get fromorganization or club activities. Personally speaking, I believe students canget as many benefits from organization or club activities as they can get fromtheir academic studies.

   Benefits from the academic studiesindeed differ from those from activities. In my opinion, however, both of themare equally important. What a student can benefit from the academic studies?Obviously, it is the related knowledge related to certain major. As for astudent majoring in Electronic Engineering, he/she is able to obtain aknowledge of mathematics as well as a deep understanding of signal and systems.Likewise, as for a student majoring in foreign language, he/she is capable ofseveral different languages as well as several of foreign cultures. To thecontrary, what students can benefit from organization or club activities isdifferent from what they can get from academic studies.

  It is widely acknowledged thatthe ability of cooperate is one of the benefits from organization or clubactivities. Usually, a group of students have to gather together and work for aactivity. The ability of cooperate might play an important role in the processof the activity. In fact, students will endeavor to assemble the strongestpower from a group so that they can finish the work as soon as possible. Thiskind of desire drives them to learn how to cooperate with others, how tocompromise when the disagreement occurs and how to manipulate interferenceoutside.

  Another important benefit in theactivities is leadership. An excellent leader will have a deep understanding ofthe team members' characteristics. He/She has to handle conflict in a team,equally distribute work to every team member and stimulate team members to workefficiently. Being a leader can be a challenging but honorable task.
  Benefits from activities andacademic studies are different, but both of them are essential capacities oneneed to obtain in order to succeed. In modern society, a student who is expertin his/her major and is able to cooperate and lead will be highly recognized.In a word, I believe students can get as many benefits from organization orclub activities as they can get from their academic studies.

woshimind

Advanced education is growing by leaps and bounds in recent years, and the university, considered as a symbol of higher education, undergoes a fast developing phase. Universities are now attracting an increasing number of students as well as the public attention. (GMAT上说as well as 表主次的时候用得多）Many students choose not to attend the class as long as they can pass the examination. On the contrary, I believe they have made a mistake.

  Examinations, as an artificia tool to test a student's study result, can not be perfect and complete. It is widely acknowledged that nothing is perfect. In other words, a student is possibly not qualified for his major even he has passed the examination. What'smore, a lazy student may pass the examination by accident, which in fact, he learns,almost nothing. Relying on the examination result is not scientific, so it isnecessary for student to endeavor to attend every class.

  In addition, study is not for examinations. It is a significantly mistake if students attend classes only for the sake of examinations. （in the sake of一般用于为了产生了一个好的结果而使用，建议改成： we should acquire a good sense of what the professor instructs for the sake of  a good  grade. )As a modern university student, we need to bear in mind that the purpose of studying is to widen the horizon, to solve the mystery and the unknown, to fulfill oneself and to serve the country. (伟大的演讲词）Attending the classes is definitely not to pass the examinations. It is an attitude instead of the pretending appearance to study.

  Besides, it is a misleading direction for students if they were told that it is not necessary for them to attend the class as long as they can pass the examinations. Students will easily become impatient not only with their study but also with their otherlife affairs. For instance, a student might feel all his working is (only）to complete a destined(assigned） task. Once he finishes the task, he could play computer games and drink alcohol at liberty. The future of the student might totally change into awrong direction, he is likely to harm other people, society even the country.（even在这里用法不对！It is a serious situation but can be prevented from the beginning.
  Students who want to succeed in the future must adjust their attitude towards studying and realize the serious consequence of being absent from classes. In my opinion, it is definitely necessary for student to endeavor to attend every class no matter what the results of examinations will be.

Even用法： 1.emphasize something unexpected or surprising (even a child can understand it.) 2.to make comparison stronger(he is even more intelligent than her brother.) 3. To introduce a more exact description of sb/sth( it is an unattractive building ,even ugly.)

lihaolan

With the development of society, the teaching quality in the university is growing by leaps and bounds. Have you ever been in an off-campus activity planting small trees? Have you ever organized a singing competition of you academy? Have you ever been awarded because of a club activity? If you have not had such experiences, you would never know how many benefits you can get from organization or club activities. Personally speaking, I believe students can get as many benefits from organization or club activities as they can get from their academic studies.

Admittedly, Benefits from the academic studies indeed differ from those from activities. In my opinion, however, both of them are equally important. What a student can benefit from the academic studies? Obviously, it is the related knowledge related to(of,两个relate 不好) certain major. As for a student majoring in Electronic Engineering, he/she is able to obtain a（the）knowledge of mathematics as well as a deep understanding of signal and systems. Likewise, as for a student majoring in foreign language, he/she is capable of（要接动词似乎）acquiring several different languages as well as appreciating several of foreign cultures. To the contrary, what students can benefit from organization or club activities is different from what they can get from academic studies.

It is widely acknowledged that the ability of cooperate(cooperation )is one of the benefits from organization or club activities. Usually, a group of students have to gather together and work for an activity. The ability of cooperate might play an important role in the process of the activity. In fact, students will endeavor toassemble the strongest power from a group(assemble 和 power 不搭，form a group with great power) so that they can finish the work as soon as possible. This kind of desire drives them to learn how to cooperate with others, how to compromise when the disagreement occurs and how to manipulate interference outside.

Another important benefit in the activities is leadership(不顺，好处是领导力。Benefit in activities is cultivating the ability of leadership.). An excellent leader will have a deep understanding of the team members' characteristics. He/She has to handle conflict in a team, equally distribute work to every team member and stimulate team members to work efficiently. Being a leader can be a challenging but honorable task.(论证有点偏差，你这里论证leadership内容是什么，我觉得中心应该在leadership的重要性和activities怎么培养出这种leadership)
Benefits from activities and academic studies are different, but both of them are essential capacities one need to obtain in order to succeed. In modern society, a student who is expert in his/her major and is able to cooperate and lead will be highly recognized. In a word, I believe students can get as many benefits from organization or club activities as they can get from their academic studies.

论证思路不错，就是说两种方式的benefit是一样的，分论点写了学习的好处，和extra-curricular activities的好处（2 point）比较清晰，但是段内的论证重心要明确不要偏离主题。用词没什么问题。排比是亮点！