TWE 184 请大家帮我改改,非常感谢!

方敬

  

(红字部分是有疑义,但不知如何修改者)

  

  Although it may be more beneficial for some people to study alone, I myself prefer to study with a group instead. To clarify it, I will use the following reasons to illustrate my statement.

        First, if someone chooses to study alone, he or she may not be able to find either some mistakes he or she makes or wrong ideas he or she has. For example, it is common that people will consider a specific issue in few aspects; therefore, it is easy for us to ignore other aspects important to solve a problem. On the contrary, studying with a group will help me to look at things with various ways because of different opinions and views that my classmates may express.(from different points of views)

       Second, it is lonely for me to study alone, especially when I have to study for hours or to complete a different assignment. Studying with a group will make me feel that at least there are some people accompanying me. For example, once I prepared for the final examination with a group of my friends. Although it was really unpleasant to stay up late studying, I still felt very warm and touched because of my friends' support and encouragement.

      Third, working with a team will also save our time to collect information. It may be tiring if we have to do all the jobs by ourselves; if we work with a team, however, every member in the team will share one part of the assignment, and it will be more efficient and even more effective for us to complete the assignment. For example, we can share different notes when studying with a group, and therefore we can get more complete information about the assignment or the subject.

        To sum up, although we cannot deny that there are some advantages to study alone, such as that it may be easier for us to concentrate on our studying, I would rather study with a group than just work by myself due to the former reasons.

      

我觉得首段不好,不过时间来不及 > <

guandream

please post the whole topic

以下是引用方敬在2004-11-22 23:23:00的发言：
  

(红字部分是有疑义,但不知如何修改者)

  

  Although to study alone can benefit some people it may be more beneficial for some people to study alone, (the comparasion can weaken your position)I myself prefer to study with a group instead. To clarify it, I will use the following reasons to illustrate my statement.

        First, if someone chooses to study alone, he or she may not be able to find either some mistakes he or she makes or wrong ideas he or she has.(he or she, either or mix together. it is confusing) For example, it is common that people will consider a specific issue in few aspects(example is too general); therefore, it is easy for us to ignore other aspects important to solve a problem. On the contrary, studying with a group will help me to look at things with various ways because of different opinions and views that my classmates may express.(from different points of views)

       Second, it is lonely for me to study alone, especially when I have to study for hours or to complete a different assignment. Studying with a group will make me feel that at least there are some people accompanying me. For example, once I prepared for the final examination with a group of my friends.(,) Aalthough it was really unpleasant to stay up late studying, I still felt very warm and touched because of my friends' support and encouragement.

      Third, working with a team will also save our time to collect information. It may be tiring if we have to do all the jobs by ourselves; if we work with a team, however, every member in the team will share one part of the assignment, and it will be more efficient and even more effective for us to complete the assignment. For example, we can share different notes when studying with a group, and therefore we can get more complete information about the assignment or the subject.

        To sum up, although we cannot deny that there are some advantages to study alone, such as that it may be easier for us to concentrate on our studying, I would rather study with a group than just work by myself due to the former reasons.

      

我觉得首段不好,不过时间来不及 > <

the essay is understandable.

practice makes perfect

Veronica_Melody

Although (Don't start a sentence with Although) it may be more beneficial for some people to study alone, I myself prefer to study with a group instead. To clarify it, I will use the following reasons to illustrate my statement.(Of course, you will have to. Your introduction is plain. Add some daily facts.)

        First, if someone chooses to study alone, he or she may not be able to find either some mistakes he or she makes or wrong ideas he or she has. For example, it is common that people will consider a specific issue in few aspects; therefore, it is easy for us to ignore other aspects important to solve a problem. On the contrary, studying with a group will help me to look at things with various ways because of different opinions and views that my classmates may express.(from different points of views)

       Second, it is lonely for me to study alone, especially when I have to study for hours or to complete a different assignment. Studying with a group will make me feel that at least there are some people accompanying me. For example, once I prepared for the final examination with a group of my friends. Although it was really unpleasant to stay up late studying, I still felt very warm and touched (touched by) because of my friends' support and encouragement.

      Third, (Finally, you used first, second) working with a team will also save our time to collect information. It may be tiring if we have to do all the jobs by ourselves; if we work with a team(work as a team), however, every member in the team will share one part of the assignment, and it will be more efficient and even more effective for us to complete the assignment. For example, we can share different notes when studying with a group, and therefore we can get more complete information about the assignment or the subject.

        To sum up, although we cannot deny that there are some advantages to study alone, such as that it may be easier for us to concentrate on our studying, (Do not use fact again in your conclusion, because you demonstrate these in the three boy paragraphs. ) I would rather study with a group than just work by myself due to the former (??)reasons.

Comments:
Well written. Except try to use different wordings. Conclusion is a bit too short.
Good job.

望风

There are various ways of study methods that takes great effect over the world. Some people prefer to study alone, others like to study with a group. Although it may be more beneficial for some people to study alone, I myself prefer to study with a group instead. To clarify it, I will use the following reasons to illustrate my statement.

        First, if someone chooses to study alone, he or she may not be able to find either some mistakes he or she makes or wrong ideas he or she has. (感觉太罗索) For example, it is common that people will consider a specific issue in few aspects; therefore, it is easy for us to ignore other aspects important to solve a problem. On the contrary, studying with a group will help me to look at things with various ways because of different opinions and views that my classmates may express.(from different points of views)

       Second, it is lonely for me to study alone, especially when I have to study for hours or to complete a different assignment. Studying with a group will make me feel that at least there are some people accompanying me. For example, once I prepared for the final examination with a group of my friends. Although it was really unpleasant to stay up late studying, I still felt very warm and touched because of my friends' support and encouragement.

      Third, working with a team will also save our time to collect information. It may be tiring if we have to do all the jobs by ourselves; if we work with a team, however, every member in the team will share one part of the assignment, and it will be more efficient and even more effective for us to complete the assignment. For example, we can share different notes when studying with a group, and therefore we can get more complete information about the assignment or the subject.

        To sum up, although we cannot deny that there are some advantages to study alone, such as that it may be easier for us to concentrate on our studying, I would rather study with a group than just work by myself due to the former reasons.