梦想无法放弃！！！ Cleo归来 托福作文每天坚持 求批改

libertine

童鞋。。你这个作业是不是写错了？  

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?


It is often not a good thing to move to a new city or a new country because of the loss of old friends.

独立的作业是这个啊~

cleotina

我刚确认了一下，TPO 9 是我写的这个啊。

libertine

我说的独立写作。。

2月1号的独立写作作业

cleotina

TPO 10

综合
Different from the point holding in the passage that the decline of otter is because of the pollution, in the lecture, the professor holds a standpoint that predator resulted in the obviously decrease of the otter population.

For the first, more evidence show that the dead otters in the coast are killed by the orca, a large predatory, while no dead are affected by the water pollution. This is on the contrary of the presentation offered in the passage.

Secondly, nowadays, the large predators, Orca are tend to take small pray as food such as seal, seal line, otter, etc., since the depletion of large shape pray. In this way the professor sound illustrates that orca are the main reason of the decline of otter population.

Thirdly, Orca is the main reason of the uneven distribution of the otter population decline. The professor supports her argument in two aspects: one is that the Orca can eat so many otters once, So, if there is some orcas in an area, large amount of otters as well as other small mammal creatures are eaten. Another is that, in the shallow area where the orca cannot access, the population of the otter is stable. Thus, the third point of the lecture sounds more plausible than the third one in the passage.



独立

As the development of the technology, every family has computer. People, child or adult, entertains spare time on computer games. Nowadays, it becomes more and more a hot issue that whether children should be stopped to play computer games to save time. About this problem, I always hold a conservative attitude, which is that child should be restricted on play computer game. I will lunch my reason in three aspects as follow.



Obviously, child is easily be attracted by the funny game; if parents do not control him, he may addiction and pay no attention on studying, which is the important thing he should do in as child. What's more, in order to play games, he may commit crime. Recently, there are abundant reports on the news papers or on the TV news that child robed people or his classmates to gather money to play games. This is a kind of diversity that seriously affect the child's well development and the stability of our society. So, adult should pay attention on the issue concerning teenager computer addiction.

On the other side, more time spends on computer games; less time leaves for communicate with friends. Proper communication enable child enhance its people skill which is vital for a man. Take my niece for example, who is a 10 years old girl, opening the computers games as soon as she arrived at home, she even do not go out to play with her classmates on the weekend; she also told me that all her classmates play the computer games on the weekend.Based on the anthropologist study, playing with classmates and friends is a good way to improve child's communication ability. Thus, she loses the precious time chatting, paling and dreaming with her friends. So, instead of seeing child playing computer games all day, people should orange some time for child to go out and play with his friends.

However, computers game is a good way to build logical thinking and ignite the interest of studying. A famous game developed lasted years to help child studying and practicing English. During the process, child should open his mind and try a lot new ways to make a new word. Parents found that it do help child development.

Just like there are two sides in a coin, there are disadvantages and advantages about child playing computer game. How to balance them? The key is on parents. It is practical recommendation that parents should make a specific schedule for child to well manage the time and energy spending on computer games.

cleotina

恩， 我只看到了2.1号的作业是TPO9， 难道还有单独的独立作业？

晕了，嘿嘿之前两天打渔三天晒网不清楚很这些， 还望多赐教啊

libertine

cleotina

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Students can get as many benefits from organization or club activities as they can get from their academic studies.

As far as I am concerned, students indeed can gain the same benefit from organizing or participating activities; and they can gain benefits of various aspects, with these aspects mutual improving.

Organization and club activities can improve students’ communicating skills, which is not easy to gain in academic study. In an organization, members gathering together do some activities. This is a good chance to meet more people with similar habits, thus they can share interesting experiences and personal opinion. What’s more, they also can practice listening to partners’ diversity viewpoints with open mind and reach a final consensus. These are important virtues for their future.

If students gain an opportunity being a leader of the club to polish leadership, they tend to be success in their career development. Take Obama for example, he joined in Harvard Law Journal and was nominated to be the president of the club. On an interview about his colleague life, he recalled that the precious experience offering him chance to fulfill his management idea as well as enhance ability convincing people. Obviously, taking these advantages, he successfully wins the president of America twice.

Furthermore, the communicating ability and leadership acquiring in organization also benefit academic courses. As we all know that in some group assignments, students are asked to working in group. Students good with people are popular and welcome, and study group consist with this high quality team members always can get A, which means excellent.

In sum, I strongly support that club activities are as important as academic study. However, students in China are not aware of the benefits from club activities, they as well as their parents believe that academic study will guarantee them bright future. Thus all their study and spare time are spending on homework and tutoring. The serious result is that graduation lake of people skill after working. So students should be encouraged to join in various organizations as long as they like.

libertine

Do you agree or disagree with the followingstatement?
Students can get as many benefits from organization or club activities as theycan get from their academic studies.

   As far as I am concerned, students indeed can gain the same benefit from organizing （应该改成organization） or participating activities; and they can gain benefits of various aspects, with these aspects mutual (+ly)improving.   （开头段可以再充实一点）

   Organization and club activities can improve students’ communicating skills, which is not easy to gain in academic study. In an organization,members gathering together do some activities. This is a good chance to meetmore people with similar habits, thus they can share interesting experiencesand personal opinion (+s). What’s more, they also can practicelistening to partners’ diversity (diverse) viewpoints with open mind and reach (+ing) a final consensus. These are important virtues for their future.(观点论述不够完整，基本上一点带过)

If students gain an opportunity being a leader of the club to polish (感觉这个词用的不恰当) leadership,they tend to be success in their career development. Take Obama for example, he joined in Harvard Law Journal and was nominated to be the president of theclub. On an interview about his colleague (college)life, he recalled that the precious experience offering him (+a) chanceto fulfill his management idea as well as enhance (+the) ability(+of) convincing people. Obviously, takingthese advantages, he successfully wins the president of America twice.例子很好！

   Furthermore, the communicating ability and leadership acquiring (acquired)in organization (+s) also benefit academic courses. As weall know that in some group assignments, students are asked to working (work)in group. Students good (这个词在这里是什么意思？) with people are popular and welcome,and study group consist with (of) this highquality team members always can get A, which means excellent.

   In sum, I strongly support that club activities are as important asacademic study. However, students in China are not aware of the benefits from club activities, they as well as their parents believe that academic study willguarantee them (+a) bright future. Thus all their study andspare time are spending (spent) on homework and tutoring. The serious result is that graduation (改成graduates) lake (改成lacking) of peopleskill (这个是什么意思？)after working. So students should be encouraged to join in various organizations as long as they like. 前面说参加社团活动有三个好处，但是这里说不参加社团活动只有一个缺点，感觉有点矛盾

1.       建议笔者多花语言去论述一个已经提出的解释，而不要不断提出新的解释
2.      小的语言错误有点多，下次应该注意

Tanyar

TPO 10 综合 （不好意思现在才改，建议写出来以后也到任务贴里面更新一下链接吧，不然我还以为你没有写^_^）

Different from the point holding (held) in the passage that the decline of otter is because of the pollution, in the lecture（可以放在professor后面或不写）, the professor holds a standpoint that predator resulted (整段都是现在时，此处也最好如此) in the obviously (obvious) decrease of the otter population.

For the first, more evidences show that the dead otters in (along 准确些) the coast are killed by the orca, a large predatory, while no dead are affected by the water pollution. This is on the contrary of the presentation offered in the passage.（这一段听得不准确，建议再仔细听一遍听力）

Secondly, nowadays, the large predators, Orcasare tend to take small pray as food such as seal, seal line （sea lions）, otter, etc., since the depletion of large shape pray. In this way the professor sound（fully）illustrates that orcas are the main reason of the decline of otter population. （此段略短，可以点一下文章中的观点）

Thirdly, Orca is also (加个also与上一段的过渡更自然些) the main reason （primary cause 避免和上一段重复） of the uneven distribution of the otter population decline. The professor supports her argument in two aspects: one is that the Orca can eat so many otters once, So,(小写) if there is some orcas in an area, large amount of otters as well as other small mammal creatures are eaten. （建议用分号，因为前面有一个引出两方面论点的冒号）Another is that, in the shallow area where the orca cannot access, the population of the otter is stable. Thus, the third point of the lecture sounds more plausible than the third （corresponding） one in the passage. (感觉此段论证得不是很流畅)

Tips: 提高听力
        在写英语作文时尽量避免先想中文再翻译

cleotina

2.4
Integrate
In the lecture, the lecturer soundly refutes points claimed in the passage one by one. Finally,

It appears that all the standpoints in the passage are not proper.

At the very beginning, she declares that people do not read literature do not represents that they read materials useless. Nowadays, there are so many excellent books about science, history and art; they will inspire and ignite readers’ imagination and intelligence. So, this argument helps us know that reading public can gain profits not only literature but also from these kind of books.

Secondly, the professor points out a logical problem that is the decline of people spending time reading literatures not equals to the decay of culture. On the opposite, nowadays, there are various kinds of entertainment, which are more attractive and straightforward than literature; People also can gain creativity and obtain knowledge through listen to well operation music or watch a master’s movie.

Last but not latest, as what the professor said, the reason that there are more intelligent writers than before not gaining sufficient support not because readers do not like reading anymore, but because their articles are not easy to understand. After presented this, the professor strongly proved that the writing and the reading of literature decline is not resulted by the poor standards of today's readers by the writer themselves.