Vanessa的作文贴

lizchang1990

Is it easier to maintain good health than in the past?

Health plays an pivotal（好久没看到这词了，赞一个） role in our lives in that a good health ensures a strong body as well as a good mood. People often debate on whether it is easier to maintain good health than in the past. As for this topic, I would like to say, indeed（插入得很自然哦）, it is easier for people nowadays to maintain good health than in the past.

To begin with, thanks to the high-lightened awareness that health palys (粗心了哦)an indisputable role in modern life, people gradually develop the habit of maintaining health and starts to combine keeping health with their daily life. It is common to see people, no matter young or old, doing morning exercises like jogging and Tai chi everyday. Even for the white-collars busy like bees, their weekends includes (时态错误)Yoga and mountain climbing. There is no doubt that these exercise helps to release their daily pressure, reduce their pain and stiffness (reduce后面那个stiffness感觉搭配不大好,)and keep them in healthy conditions. On the contrary, people in the past paid little attention to their health, both mentally and physically. For them, to have three full meals is enough, let alone to spend time and efforts to maintain good health.

In addition, the improved medical and health levels brought from the high-edged science and technology contribute greatly to good health. Imagine the poor medical level and backwarded (这个词,额…我不知道用得对不对,估计你目测出来的吧,建议用uncompleted) heath systems in the past, it is conceivable that people can not afford to maintain good health. Take my grandmother for an example. She had 8 children in total. Later, because of the low quality of medical, she lost two children, who were dying from the high fever and smallpox(学习了). What was worse, the poor family could not afford to bear (换bring up/ raise吧,这个bear感觉中式了~)so many kids, and in the end one kid suffered from hunger and starved to death. What a misery! Now people can not imagine the same scenery (建议个词吧,我觉得native speaker看得懂的阿,picture,地道些~)happening since the well-being of society guarantee a good and healthy life.

Moreover, the government also put great emphasis on the health of its people now. The tax raised from the citizens is used to improve medical standards and health conditions. With a solid foundation the government offers, people can have the confidence to enjoy longevity.

In conclusion, compared with past, people's awareness of the importance of health and the development of both medical and health systems ensure people's good health now. (结尾稍微加2句发人深思的会好点,这个短了,其实我也很头痛结尾,因为没啥出彩,哎~~~我自己也得琢磨下!!!)



你的语言接近perfect,呵呵,没啥大错误,稍微两个及其不引人注意的小错误记得上下心哦,很棒!!! 但建议第三点再展开叙述下,比如扯数据嘛., You can get a satisfying score this time!

vanessa923

The reading passage deals with the three kinds of damages caused by the the "let it burn" policy. The lecturer opposes these three damages with the following specific explanations and thinks the policy is a creative one instead of a destructive one.



To begin with, the reading passage points out that the Yellow fire caused tremendous damage to the park's trees and other vegetation. However, the professor opposes this points and shows that the fire can offer opportunities to these vegetations. For instance, the fire can help the growth of some vegetations that will not grow otherwise and provide space and heat for other small trees and seeds. This clearly will not cause damage to the trees and vegetation but contribute their growth.This point contradicts the counterparts in the reading passage.



In addition, contrary to the saying in the reading passage that the park wildlife will seriously affected by the fire, the professor contends that the fire can provide ideal habitats for small animals like rabbits and hales. Moreover, the reproduction of these small animals will in turn help the prosperity of their predators. Thus the food chains will be stronger than before.



Lastly, according to the reading passage, the fire will compromise the value of the park and also affect the local business. The professor disproves this point by showing that the fire will not happen every year.The forest fire in Yellowstone is a combination of winds and dry climate. It is certain that the fire will not happen every year. The cause of the fire is massive, so there is no need to worry.



In conclusion, the professor uses vivid and convincing examples to identify the weaknesses in the reading passage and clearly proves that the damages mentioned in the reading passage are untenable.

vanessa923

Should company use public recognition to reward hard working, not to use money.



Leaders  in a company often face such dilemmas: to praise the hard working of its staff, whether they should use public recognition in place of money. If I were the leader, I would not do so. In stead, I will choose to combine public recognition with  money to motive my diligent staff members.



There is no doubt that public recognition plays a pivotal in the motivation and initiative of staff. Maslow's pyramids of human needs show us that, apart from the basic needs such as food and clothes or higher needs like affetions from family and friends, people ask for highest demands- the self-actualization and recognition from others. This highest need will bring them great ecstasy and overwhelming fulfilment which nothing can be compared with. If  hard-working staff were rewarded with public recognition, it is certain that this is an confirmation for their attitude and work, and will definitely motivate them further.

However, we can not  ignore the effect of money either. Money indeed  materializes compliments and encouragement. And in modern days people get used to  weighing the value and the efficiency of work via money. Without money, workers can not afford their daily expenses. So more and more people rack their brains to earn more money. In order to get promotion, they do their utmost to improve their working abilities and even ask for more workload. This is all for more salary.


I still remember my uncle, who had been working in a medicine factory for 30 years. All these thirty years he tried his best to make profits for the factory and he was neither late nor leaving earlier. Truly, he was one of  the most diligent workers in the factory. The boss praised him so many times and all the factory knew him for his earnest attitude and diligence. But later, when another factory asked my uncle to leave and offered higher salary, my uncle quited. Once I asked him why he made such choice, he answered me quietly, " I love my job and I am quite satisfied with my current life. But life is tough and I need more money to afford my family, instead of praise and  acclamation."

From my uncle, I realised that on one hand, public recognition is essential in one's career. On another hand, money is also necessary to help us  maintain the same goal and hold on to the career. So as for me, the best solution is to bind public recognition with money together to offer a better platform for the hard-working staff.

lizchang1990

Leaders in a company often face such dilemmas: to praise the hard working of its staff, whether they should use public recognition in place of money. If I were the leader, I would not do so. In stead, I will choose to combine public recognition with money to motive my diligent staff members.（一针见血型，你走了折中路线，不错，但拿高分的一边倒更好，显得你有主见，但折中有时也不失为一种好办法，不排出有高分出现嘛。）

There is no doubt that public recognition plays a pivotal in the motivation and initiative of staff. Maslow's pyramids of human needs（确定这就是我一直在捉摸的马洛斯需求理论正确英文么？收下了~~~哈哈）show us that, apart from the basic needs such as food and clothes or higher needs like affections from family and friends, people ask for highest demands- the self-actualization and recognition from others. This highest need will bring them great ecstasy and overwhelming fulfillment(小错误哦) which nothing can be compared with. If hard-working staff were rewarded with public recognition, it is certain（丢definite更高级一点，你这个也OK） that this is an confirmation for their attitude and work, and will definitely motivate them further.

However, we can not ignore the effect of money either. Money indeed materializes compliments and encouragement. And in modern days people get used to weighing the value and the efficiency of work via(这个词感觉用在这偏了) money. Without money, workers can not afford their daily expenses. So more and more people rack their brains to earn more money. In order to get promotion, they do their utmost to improve their working abilities and even ask for more workload. This is all for more salary.


I still remember my uncle, who had been working in a medicine factory for 30 years. All these thirty years he tried his best to make profits for the factory and he was neither late nor leaving earlier. Truly, he was one of the most diligent workers in the factory. The boss praised him so many times and all the factory knew him for his earnest attitude and diligence. But later, when another factory asked my uncle to leave and offered higher salary, my uncle quited. Once I asked him why he made such （可数名词要加个a/the噢）choice, he answered me quietly, " I love my job and I am quite satisfied with my current life. But life is tough and I need more money to afford my family, instead of praise and acclamation."

From my uncle, I realised(小错误哦) that on one hand, public recognition is essential in one's career. On another hand, money is also necessary to help us maintain the same goal and hold on to the career. So as for me, the best solution is to bind public recognition with money together (感觉前面bind跟这together是不是重复了？)to offer a better platform for the hard-working staff.



语言当然是相当过关，但还是觉得你的第一个观点支持得不充分，因为你折中的话，忒侧重后面一个也不太好，但我又觉得要兼顾的确不易。



All in all, it’s perfect and elegant !!! I like your passage and I enjoy reading it.

vanessa923

Leaders in a company often face such dilemmas: to praise the hard working of its staff, whether they should use public recognition in place of money. If I were the leader, I would not do so. In stead, I will choose to combine public recognition with money to motive my diligent staff members.（一针见血型，你走了折中路线，不错，但拿高分的一边倒更好，显得你有主见，但折中有时也不失为一种好办法，不排出有高分出现嘛。）

There is no doubt that public recognition plays a pivotal in the motivation and initiative of staff. Maslow's pyramids of human needs（确定这就是我一直在捉摸的马洛斯需求理论正确英文么？收下了~~~哈哈）show us that, apart from the basic needs such as food and clothes or higher needs like affections from family and friends, people ask for highest demands- the self-actualization and recognition from others. This highest need will bring them great ecstasy and overwhelming fulfillment(小错误哦) which nothing can be compared with. If hard-working staff were rewarded with public recognition, it is certain（丢definite更高级一点，你这个也OK） that this is an confirmation for their attitude and work, and will definitely motivate them further.

However, we can not ignore the effect of money either. Money indeed materializes compliments and encouragement. And in modern days people get used to weighing the value and the efficiency of work via(这个词感觉用在这偏了) money. Without money, workers can not afford their daily expenses. So more and more people rack their brains to earn more money. In order to get promotion, they do their utmost to improve their working abilities and even ask for more workload. This is all for more salary.


I still remember my uncle, who had been working in a medicine factory for 30 years. All these thirty years he tried his best to make profits for the factory and he was neither late nor leaving earlier. Truly, he was one of the most diligent workers in the factory. The boss praised him so many times and all the factory knew him for his earnest attitude and diligence. But later, when another factory asked my uncle to leave and offered higher salary, my uncle quited. Once I asked him why he made such （可数名词要加个a/the噢）choice, he answered me quietly, " I love my job and I am quite satisfied with my current life. But life is tough and I need more money to afford my family, instead of praise and acclamation."

From my uncle, I realised(小错误哦) that on one hand, public recognition is essential in one's career. On another hand, money is also necessary to help us maintain the same goal and hold on to the career. So as for me, the best solution is to bind public recognition with money together (感觉前面bind跟这together是不是重复了？)to offer a better platform for the hard-working staff.



语言当然是相当过关，但还是觉得你的第一个观点支持得不充分，因为你折中的话，忒侧重后面一个也不太好，但我又觉得要兼顾的确不易。



All in all, it’s perfect and elegant !!! I like your passage and I enjoy reading it.

-- by 会员 lizchang1990 (2012/12/26 23:45:20)

我也第一次写这种折中的作文。
确实很头疼。
对，你说的很对，我似乎偏重于第二点了。唉好惆怅。

vanessa923

Most problems can be solved by people or their families, help from the government is unnecessary.







Faced with a large quantity of problems, people may resort to their friends or their family. However, some people suggest that with the help from others,  the help from the government is unnecessary. As for this topic, I prefer to say no. Indeed, the help from the government is as important as that from others.







As for many such trivial problems as the need to have some comfort when having a bad mood or forgetting to bring the key to home, we definitely can call our friends or family members to solve these things. I believe that friends and family can give you the most warm hug when you feel lonely. And also they are those who are the first to give you comfort and give you  their shoulder when you intend to give up.  In regard to these kind of situation, there is no need to turn to the government. I firmly believe that our beloved can drive away all the gloom and clear all the obstacles for us.







However, on this planet there exist not only these trivial things but also some grand things which relate closely to the human beings and all the species on this planet. Problems like the environmental protection are in urgent need of human efforts. There is no doubt that this problem can not be solved by some people, but the whole endeavor of all human beings. The role of the government isof great significance. The government has obligation to call for its citizens to make contribution. Moreover, it needs to join together with other government to establish global strategies to fight against the unknown enemy.  I can not imagine what will happen without the leadership of our government and close cooperation between governments in the battle of nature.







More importantly, the aid from the government is closely related with our daily life. For some poor family, they can not afford the education of their kids. With the financial support from the government, an increasing number of kids have access to elementary and better education. Nowadays we witnessed the increase of crime rates and  violence but we common people have no choice but to accept it. It is the government that make great efforts to curb the crime rate and try to offer us a more safe and harmonious society.  







In conclusion, even though people can solve problems by themselves or their beloved ones, we still can not ignore the necessary help from  the government.

vanessa923

The reading passage states that ethanol is not a good replacement for gasoline for three main reasons and  the professor opposes this idea and firmly believes that ethanol is a good alternative to gasoline with three points.



To begin with, the reading passage claims that the use of the ethanol would not help solve the global warming since ethanol also release carbon dioxide which leads to global warming. However, the professor advocates that the plants such as corns which is used to produce ethanol can counteract the carbon dioxide. That means the growing plants can absorb the carbon dioxide released in the atmosphere. This directly contradict the point in the reading passage.



In addition, even though the reading passage says that the production of ethanol will reduce the amount of plants which are the sources of animals, the professor opposes it by pointing out that the material used to produce ethanol is the larger parts and cell walls of the plants which  are not eaten by animals. Consequently the production will not affect the animals.



Lastly, contrary to the assertion in the reading passage that the price of ethanol is not as competitive as the gasoline with the tax subsidies from the government, the professors contends that as more people use the ethanol, the producers will increase the production of ethanol. As a result, the greater production of ethanol will lead to the price drop. So this point opposes the counterpart in the reading passage.



In conclusion, the professor uses vivid and convincing reasons to illustrate that the saying in the reading passage is untenable and further proves that ethanol is a good replacement for gasoline.

vanessa923

Teachers plays a pivotal role in the process of learning and acquisition of knowledge for students. Imbued with the specialized and updated knowledge, students can better equip themselves to face the future challenges. So as for this topic, I strongly agree that teachers should update their knowledge every five years.







The first points concerns the importance of updated technologies and knowledge. In an information age which asks for fast pace and efficiency, people put much emphasis on pursuing the lastest and the most updated information and knowledge. As individuals, we compete with others in terms of both intelligence and abilities. In the military competition, the countries compete for the latest and updated military equipment. Or you can see that an increasing number of countries make great efforts to introduce lastest technologies and attract talents at any expense. In a word, they are in chasing of the latest knowledge. With the updated technologies and information, they can hold over the whole situation.











The same applies to the teaching. Teachers have responsibilities to impart knowledge to students. Teachers should update it to ensure the students to receive the most updated liberal as well as scientific knowledge. The updated knowledge can help the students widen their horizon and broaden their outlook. Moreover, obsolete knowledge can limit students' development and stifle their innovation and creativity.

Students who are exposed to updated knowledge are likely to be more open-minded and more willing to accept new things, according to a educational and psychological experiment conducted on most elementary schools. On the contrary, the students who  passively receive the stereotyped  knowledge intend to be hidebound and narrow-minded.



Lastly, as for the teachers, updating their knowledge and teaching methods offer them a good chance to examine and improve their teaching performance. Take my English teacher for an example. Every two years, she would  invite some students at leisure time to attend her demo classes. Then she would give lessons and ask for our advice. Even though this took up much of her time, but she really polished her teaching methods and her excellent performance was highly appraised.



In conclusion, the updated knowledge can not only  offer the teachers a platform to improve themselves but also help students keeping up with the changes.  It is definitely that teachers should update their knowledge every five years.

lizchang1990

Teachers plays （小错误）a pivotal role in the process of learning and acquisition of knowledge for students. Imbued with the specialized and updated knowledge, students can better equip themselves to face the future challenges. So as for this topic, I strongly agree that teachers should update their knowledge every five years.(其实我开始也是你这样想的,后来纠结了下topic,感觉立脚点不好,呵呵,你的不错~貌似我理解还是偏差了点)

The first points concerns the importance of updated technologies and knowledge. In an information age which asks for fast pace and efficiency, people put much emphasis on pursuing the lastest and the most updated information and knowledge. As individuals, we compete with others in terms of both intelligence and abilities. In the military competition, the countries compete for the latest and updated military equipment. Or you can see that an increasing number of countries make great efforts to introduce lastest technologies and attract talents at any expense. In a word, they are in chasing of the latest knowledge. With the updated technologies and information, they can hold over the whole situation.(你的整段不错,但得搭个桥把prf扯进去好点,这段你纯说现在社会需要先进科技与知识,但与topic的pfr这主角还是差了点点,建议加句话扭转下就好了~)

The same(后面加个词吧~) applies to the teaching. Teachers have responsibilities to impart knowledge to students. Teachers should update it to ensure the students to receive the most updated liberal as well as scientific knowledge. The updated knowledge can help the students widen their horizon and broaden their outlook. Moreover, obsolete knowledge can limit students' development and stifle their innovation and creativity.

Students who are exposed to updated knowledge are likely to be more open-minded and more willing to accept new things, according to a(小错误) educational and psychological experiment conducted on most elementary schools. On the contrary, the students who passively receive the stereotyped knowledge intend to be hidebound and narrow-minded.
(赞一个,这段观点很新颖,很好~~但就是短了点)



Lastly, as for the teachers, updating their knowledge and teaching methods offer them a good chance to examine and improve their teaching performance. Take my English teacher for an example. Every two years, she would invite some students at leisure time to attend her demo classes. Then she would give lessons and ask for our advice. Even though this took up much of her time, but she really polished her teaching methods and her excellent performance was highly appraised.
(从老师角度出发很好,但这个放在开头比较好,我建议你三个body顺序调换下,3à1, 1à3,2不变,就显得层次,深度拉开了~个人建议而已,你的也没错~)


In conclusion, the updated knowledge can not only offer the teachers a platform to improve themselves but also help students keeping up with the changes. It is definitely that teachers should update their knowledge every five years.



Excellent & Elegant language!

vanessa923

Students are often faced with such dilemmas: whether they should concentrate on their studies at the expense of giving up all kinds of school organization and activities club. As for this topic, I prefer to say,  taking school activities and clubs is as important as students' academic class. Students should take care of both.



To begin with, apart from the excellent academic performances, students also need to hone their communication and cooperation skills which can be obtained by taking a variety of out-of-class activities.  By learning how to make friends and how to get well with others, they can have a good knowledge of how to be sociable and popular. The great fulfilment and the sense of happiness can not get through study, but through the interpersonal communication. After all, life is not all about study and students should acquaint themselves with the process of socialization.  Moreover, when students feel bored with study feel like having a relax, there is no better way than  being surrounded by friends and strangers and immersing yourself into the ocean of happiness and relaxation.



In addition, the society also exert some influence in the change of different patterns of talents. In the past, most corporation asked for

talents with high academic scores, which they thought marked  being outstanding and competent. However, nowadays most enterprises are in need of talents in possession of comprehensive abilities such as group-working spirits and interpersonal skills. Take one of my friend Lisa for an example. She once sought a position of sales manager in an multinational company. And  one of her classmate, Zoe, also apply this job. Compared with Zoe, Lisa may fall behind in academic records. But Lisa attended all kinds of organizations and had her own special way to deal with relationships with others. Instead, Zoe tended to be more introverted and unwilling to take any activities. In the end, Lisa was offered with the job and the reason why she was chosen is simple: The company believes that Lisa can handle any situations and coordinate any relationships.



I concede that the academic class is also essential since it provides us with grounded professional knowledge and makes foundations for our future career. Students are supposed to have a mastery of  basic knowledge. Only when they acquire the elementary knowledge can they be more free and assured to attend clubs and activities.

In conclusion, since both the academic class and the out-of-class activities play a pivotal role in the development of students, it is advisable of students to strike a balance between the two.