dreamfang的作文-互改小组第一期

dream521fang

10/
Twenty years ago, Dr. Field, a notedanthropologist, visited the island
of Tertia. Using an observation-centeredapproach to studying Tertian

culture, he concluded from his observationsthat children in Tertia were
reared by an entire village rather than bytheir own biological parents.
Recently another anthropologist, Dr. Karp,visited the group of islands
that includes Tertia and used the interview-centeredmethod to study
child-rearing practices. In the interviewsthat Dr. Karp conducted with
children living in this group of islands,the children spent much more
time talking about their biological parentsthan about other adults in the
village. Dr. Karp decided that Dr. Field ’s conclusion about Tertian village
culture must be invalid. Someanthropologists recommend that to obtain
accurate information on Tertianchild-rearing practices, future research on
the subject should be conducted via theinterview-centered method.
Write a response in which you discuss whatquestions would need to be
answered in order to decide whether therecommendation and the
argument on which it is based arereasonable. Be sure to explain how the
answers to these questions would help toevaluate the recommendation.
字数：404 时间不计。。。看着简单怎么自己写就这么别扭呢。。。捂脸泪奔。。。
In this argument,some anthropologistsrecommend that future study on Tertian child-rearing practices should beconducted through the interview-centered method.This is because Dr.Karp's recentinterview-centered study on this subject reversed the conclusion of Dr.Field'research via observation-centered approach made twenty years ago.However,thereasoning of this argument is tenuous and problematic.Therefore,some questionsshould be answered to assess this recommendation.

The first problem is whether the child-rearingmode of Tertian remained unchangeable or not.For twenty years is a considerablelong period,it is possible that the rearers of children of Tertian turned fromentire village to their own biological parents.Decades ago,the productivity ofTertian island may be poor,and hence the rearing of children needed the wholeresidents to help.But the Tertian’s inhabitants today are richer than past.Soparents can afford their children’s rearing.  Moreover,Dr.Karp's survey based on study notonly of Tertian island.Those islands' rearing mode as a whole may not representedthe reality of Tertian island.Consequently,the conclusion that tertian childrenreared by their parents either in the past or at present is unpersuasive.

The reasoning is also deficient from aphenomenon that children interviewed spent much more time talking on theirparents to a conclusion that they were reared by their parents .There areseveral alternative explanations for this phenomenon.If these interviews weretaken among lots of children,one child's opinion may influenced others',whichbrought the result into unreliable.The researchers can led the topic tochildren's parents,as well.Additionally,spending much time talking aboutparents is not a sufficient cause of reared by them.Maybe the connectionbetween parents and children was closer than other adults brought the childrenup.Because of these reasons above,the author should exclude other alternativesto demonstrate his suggest.

Even though Dr.Field's conclusion isincorrect,it does not mean his method is false and Dr.karp's method is moresuitable to this subject.Numerous factors can affect an study's result.Forinstance,the impact of the researcher's subjective thought is inevitable.Theresearcher's own academic ability is an element,too.Besides,the ways of a studyinclude not only observation-centered and interview-centered approach.Since thevalidity of Dr.Karp's conclusion has not been substantiated yet,therecommendation of using his method to research this subject is unconvincing andpremature.

Choosing an appropriate method is clearly significantto the success of a research.But some anthropologists in this argument fail toconsider other possible explanations of the difference between two Dr's resultsand make decision cursorily.Therefore,the reasoning of this argument isdeficient and more considerations is needed to validate this recommendation.

zkh1991

可以再写一段废话总结下前面的呗 然后表明立场你的government错了好多次 建议在word里面写呗 错的会有红色下划线（貌似你就是在word里写的啊）
总体我觉得还不错 我就没想到scandal牵扯到普通人的情况。。。


另外这题的要求有In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most compelling reasons and/or examples that could be used to challenge your position.
没写过这类型的。。。不知道只是写两面的话足不足以满足most compelling to challenge的 @竹林中人


明天我也写写这题 打算    开头表明支持 - 两段challenge - 一段再说明支持 - 结尾   不知道这样ok不ok呀

zkh1991

题目要求是Writea response in which you discuss what questions would need to be

answeredin order to decide whether the recommendation and the
argumenton which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the
answersto these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
你似乎有但是又没有很明显地讨论what questions would need to be answered
不过我也说不出有什么可以问的。。。你找的纰漏改改也可以作为问题 1.20年里面变了没 2.不问小孩问家长
其他因素我也想不到了。。。加一条 用第一个人的方法再去调查看看能不能和原来他的结论一致

dream521fang

这次开头结尾用的模板。。。不知道自己跌模板对不对啊。。

zkh1991

你用的是简单粗暴模板么~确实废话有点多 不过第一段把arguer的思路写一下也不失为一个凑字数的好方法 我也学学~感觉有些话你写得比较绕 最好直接明了点到
还有的问题就是段首的论点好像和后面的内容贴合得不够紧