Issue 43 求批改

夜落莺知。

43. The increasingly rapid pace of life today causes more problems than it solves.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

Nowadays, our society is developing in an extremely fast way.To catch the speed of our society, we have to live a rapid life.Though modern society bring us a lot of new things, it cause new problems as well.The fast-speed society really cause environment problems, health problems, and communication barriers between people.


The high speed of productive could cause environmental problems such as nature resource and pollution. After the Industrial Revolution, the efficiency of productive had been enhanced on a great extent.Our society is able to get more products in a short time, which meets the people's need.However, the environmental problem just comes after the high productive.In order to keep a high speed of productive, we have to consume a huge amount of nature resource.For example, in order to make new furniture, we have to cut down a lot of woods and do cause harm to the forest.Moreover, destroy of forest causes other environmental problems. Those animals live in the forest may lost their habits and food and they are more likely to face extinction.That means in order to keep high productive of furniture, we lose both forest and animal resource.Besides, the high production causes pollution as well. For example, some paper factories pull the dirty water right into the river near them, which cause a great problem to the water in the river.


The rapid pace of people's live could lead to health problems.These problems could be both physics and mental. For example, in order to catch the deadline of the work task, a person has to spend extra hours on his work.To save time, he eats fast food every day and almost takes no exercise.If he keep this type of life for a long time, his body is more likely in poor condition. And he is more likely to get ill. Moreover, working for long time everyday and no entertainment could lead to great stress on a person.The stress is likely to cause mental problems to a person. For these reasons, rapid pace of life could cause a number of illnesses.


What is more, the rapid pace of life builds up communication barriers between modern people. I never mean a person could not communicate with other people, but the way of communication is changed and this really causes some problems.Though you are able to send email to your friends and relatives almost every time, perhaps you have not talk to them on the phone for a long time, let alone meet them face to face.The face-to-face communication becomes less and less, which makes it difficult for people to get the real idea from each other.


To sum up, though rapid live bring us a high efficiency society, it do cause a lot of problems. We never want a poor environment, an ill body and barriers between us. We should ask ourselves if we could come up with ideas to settle these problems.

竹林中人

Nowadays, our society is developing in an extremely fastway. To catch the speed of our society; we have to live a rapid life. Thoughmodern society brings us a lot of new things, it causes newproblems as well. The fast-speed society really causes environment problems,health problems, and communication barriers between people.

Thehigh speed of productive could cause environmental problems such as natureresource and pollution. After the Industrial Revolution, the efficiency ofproductive had been enhanced on a great extent. Our society is able to get moreproducts in a short time, which meets the people's need. However, theenvironmental problem just comes after the high productive. In order to keep ahigh speed of productive, we have to consume a huge amount ofnature resource. For example, in order to make new furniture, we have to cutdown a lot of woods and do cause harm to the forest. Moreover, destroy offorest causes other environmental problems. Those animals live in the forestmay lost their habits and food and they are more likely to face extinction. Thatmeans in order to keep high productive of furniture, we lose both forest andanimal resource. Besides, the high production causes pollution as well. Forexample, some paper factories pull the dirty water right into the river nearthem, which cause a great problem to the water in the river.

Therapid pace of people live could lead to health problems. These problems couldbe both physics and mental. For example, in order to catch the deadline of thework task, a person has to spend extra hours on his work. To save time, he eatsfast food every day and almost takes no exercise. If he keep this type of lifefor a long time, his body is more likely in poor condition. And he is morelikely to get ill. Moreover, working for long time everyday and noentertainment could lead to great stress on a person. The stress is likely tocause mental problems to a person. For these reasons, rapid pace of life couldcause a number of illnesses.


Whatis more, the rapid pace of life builds up communication barriers between modernpeople. I never mean a person could not communicate with other people, but theway of communication is changed and this really causes some problems. Though youare able to send email to your friends and relatives almost every time, perhapsyou havenot talked to them on the phone for a long time, let alonemeeting them face to face.这句话最好重新组织下 The face-to-face communication becomes less andless, which makes it difficult for people to get the real idea from each other.


Tosum up, though rapid live bring us a high efficiency society, it do cause a lotof problems. We never want a poor environment, an ill body and barriers betweenus. We should ask ourselves if we could come up with ideas to settle theseproblems.
这个题目，既然你选择一边倒的观点，那么你就需要对可能对你的观点形成反驳的意见进行解释说明，否则你的文章就显得非常简单化了，而没有意识到题目背后的复杂性。另外第二段太臃肿，举例子不要像讲故事了，建议LZ重新改下吧，换个思路。

竹林中人

LZ进步比较大的是对写作文越来越认真，所以语言上的错误少了很多，加油，相信你能解决其他的问题

夜落莺知。

谢谢版主，是不是这样的问题还是从正反两个方面说比较好呀~

竹林中人

[quote]
谢谢版主，是不是这样的问题还是从正反两个方面说比较好呀~

-- by 会员 夜落莺知。 (2012/11/13 13:05:02)

[/quote差不多，现在ＧＲＥ作文貌似不太容易写一边倒的，按照它的要求