“我把托福踩脚下的作文贴10.30开始

陈喵喵holdon

In the current global financial crisis, the college graduates “employment difficult” issue has become a common focus of attention有点重复,直接common focus就可以了. Many universities are passionate about  preparepreparing various occupation preparation to students词组为prepare sb. for sth. However, it is still a lot of complaint from some students due to an unattended attitude of college. From my perspective, colleges should concern about helping graduates for their careers. As a result of that有点多余,直接as a result就可以了, students can find a better job through resources from colleges; also colleges can benefit a lot when they provide this service to students.(A benefit B B受益于A)

To begin with, college as a whole can gain information resources easier than students themselves. Usually, some offices or organizations on campus such as human resource program and career office are working for professional career information. Colleges also have ample connection resources among every corner of society . These two ways contribute to employing information more accessible to college from its alumini and peers. For instance, Harvard encourages students to attend positively various internships  and assorted conferences. Harvard students can also learn a lot when many famous and celebrities do some speeches and interact with students on campus. In contrast, individual’s capacity to look for career information is limited. 这个理由很好！

Furthermore, students usually are busying(busy) during their final year on campus, especially nearby(near) the deadline of graduates(deadline of graduates?这个表达很奇怪). Many students are hardy(hard) to extract extra time and energy on job hunting while they have to finish their final essays and work for the results of labs. If they make time to seek jobs, the amount of time they spend on their experiments and essays enforces to shrink直接will shrink就可以了. My friend, Amy, he(Amy是女子名吧?) really appreciated his alma mater, UIC ,to provide graudates career fairs, so he had a chance to meet professor Dolglas in one national lab and recommend himself. It is nothing than less resources(不好意思,这是个固定搭配吗?不太明白,感觉很奇怪) student gain only even if some of they spend up to 5 hours every day hunting a job from newspaper and by Internet.


From a point view of long term(from the long term point of view), the more benefit(benefits) students earn, the more rewards belonged college obtains. First, College tends to invest more human resource and money to help students a lot through organizing career fair, inviting famous presentation and so on, so college wins more respect among students. Second, alumni work done in their different career positions, the aurele  of college becomes more brilliant.有点例子就更好了



In conclusion, once many colleges realize mutual advantages between studentsand colleges themselves, they will cast their more attention to feed career requirement of graduates. In that way, colleges win more respect and better reputation, and students are lso happy when they successfully applied favorable jobs by a favor of college.



理由很充分,一开始看了你的第一个point还觉得我自己写偏了..
有些语句有点赘述,表达有点奇怪,可以用比较平实的语言清楚的表达意思,然后适当丰富句式和词汇.
Good Luck!

我把托福踩脚下

谢谢喵喵指出我的问题。also colleges can benefit a lot when they provide this service to students.(A benefit B B受益于A)
是不是要改成college can be benefited a lot表示A也受益了。
deadline of graduation. 是我打错了

陈喵喵holdon

谢谢喵喵指出我的问题。also colleges can benefit a lot when they provide this service to students.(A benefit B B受益于A)
是不是要改成college can be benefited a lot表示A也受益了。
deadline of graduation. 是我打错了

-- by 会员 我把托福踩脚下 (2012/11/8 12:56:37)

可用college can benefit from ...
主要是觉得gradution就是毕业 deadline of graduation有点奇怪也有点赘述..

我把托福踩脚下

11.8 综合

The lecture discusses the professor‘s skeptical about the main idea in reading passage that three different materials can be revealed by a fossil of T.rex leg bone .


First, the professor opposes the idea in the passage that a flexible and soft substance represents actual T.rex's blood vessels. He argues that the soft material probably is residues of organic material after bacterial gathering, because long after animal died, bacterial usually colonized in the hollow where empty area of vessels.


Furthermore, while the passage declares that iron-spheres regards as red blood cells, the professor contradicts this by saying that the material is unlikely to blood cells, because other animal fossils also were founded in the same place, but some of they appeared that these primitive animals without red blood cells when they were alive. Thus, the spheres shouldn't pertain to T.rex.


Final, the passage asserts that a fibrous protein ---collagen was found in the fossils, but the lecture rebuts the idea and says that collagen cannot last over one thousand year. The material probably comes from human skin; maybe the one who was handing with the bone left the collagen verification.


我问一下综合作文需要写结尾的总结段吗？

小滋滋

11.8
The lecture discusses the professor‘s skeptical('s+n.doubt吧)about the main idea in reading passage that three different materials can be revealed by a fossil of T.rex leg bone .


First, the professor opposes the idea in the passage that a flexible and soft substance represents actual T.rex's blood vessels. He argues that the soft materials probably is(are) residues of organic material after(due to吧，下面有个after了，感觉一句话用两个相同连词不太好) bacterial gathering, because long after animal died, bacterial usually colonized in the hollow where empty area of vessels.


Furthermore, while the passage declares that iron-spheres are regards as (这我觉着说得不太准确，应该是证明而不是当作吧？楼住再合计合计哈)red blood cells, the professor contradicts this by saying that the material is unlikely to blood cells, because other animal fossils also were founded in the same place, but some of they appeared that these primitive animals without had no red blood cells when they were alive. Thus, the spheres shouldn't pertain to T.rex.


Final, the passage asserts that a fibrous protein ---collagen was found in the fossils, but the lecture rebuts the idea and says that collagen cannot last over one thousand year. The material probably comes from human skin; maybe the one who was handing with the bone left the collagen verification.

最好还是加上结尾，简单点即可

我把托福踩脚下

Some people think university professors should spend more time doing research while others think they should spend more time educating students. What is your view?



A controversial issue debates among people whether professors in colleges should focus more on educating students. Many people believe that professors of universities should cast all of their energy and time on education because students virtually rely on them more. Other people oppose the viewpoint by saying that professors shouldn't give up purchasing their professional recognition in their own scientific fields. From my perspective, what professors should pay more attention on that depends on different occasion.



In some occasion, it is not conflicted, even shows us mutual benefits when professors work in labs, as well as in classrooms. The advantages involved with three main aspects. One is that experience professors possess from labs will further promote education well because students can gain knowledge more impressively from the vivid elaboration of professor personal experience, other than from original notebook; the exact databases from labs can also be regarded as more convinced materials to student's discussion.Moreover, professors carry out their updated research results to class and discuss around them with students, which open a window to people and contribute more chances to people verify the accuracy and precision of new research result. For example, the idea that people usually believe about surfing Internet don't take any advantage to elder health has been broken up by recent lab result. The new report from Harford university lab claimed that surfing Internet promote elder's brain activities and effectively protect elder against Parkinson disease. Many professionals are skeptical about this report and want to give a shot to prove its reliability. In this way, it also propels entire science development. Additionally, some new and good ideas which come from some collaboration such as group discussion in classroom will spark creativities for research. Based on these three reasons, professor can work well done in both of classroom and lab.



However, it isn’t always compatible to professors working for separately aims. Some professors probably don’t have enough time and energy to cope teaching with researching well when other professors realized being incapable to afford such huge research projects. Some changes need to occur, not every professor enable to balance the relationship between educating and researching after all. At that situation, those professors who are excel at teaching and dealing with students better to serve students so universities can ensure education quality for students; while those professors who are competent to lab works and anticipated to achieve success too can be arranged to do lab researches.

In general, doing researches is not fairly contradicted to educate students for professors. On contrary, it brings mutual affects for educating and researching. Once professors feel arduous to cope with them, universities can adjust professors to do different job according to professors’ preference and specialty .

我把托福踩脚下

The lecture discusses about the reasons contribute to yellow cedar’s decrease have still unclear which refutes the main idea in reading passage that three hypotheses lead to declined population of yellow cedar.

First, the professor doubts the claiming in reading that cedar bark beetle leads to cedar’s decline by eating and attacking its woods. He argues that yellow cedar holds more resistance to insects than other species of trees. To be specific, the chemical materials cedars generated bring Bark beetle serious hurt, even dead. Therefore, the beetle cannot be regarded as a fundamental key to declined cedar.



Second, when the reading passage declares that brown bear is a murder to destroy cedar tree's habitat, the professor raises against this by saying that bear virtually do not effect  the cedar. He cites one evidence that the populations of cedar still have reduced in island where don’t have any bears.

Additionally, the reading passage asserts that climate change as a resultof making cedar's roots freezing , but the professor rebuts this by saying that cedar locates in lower elevator where offers a relative warm temperature still has suffered dead or damage. The professor believes that if the hypotheses are convinced, this kind of trees in high elevator will suffer more hurt than in the lower elevator due to the higher elevator holding the lower temperture .Unfortunately,  Neither the cedar located at low nor high elevator is suffering a lot.


In general, the professor pronounces the reasons of Cedar's shrink in a contrary angle with the reading passage.

bonnenuit

Some people think university professors should spend more time doing research while others think they should spend more time educating students. What is your view?



A controversial issue debates among people whether professors in colleges should focus more on educating students. Many people believe that professors of universities should cast all of their energy and time on education because students virtually rely on them more. Other people oppose the viewpoint by saying that professors shouldn't give up purchasing their professional recognition in their own scientific fields. From my perspective, what professors should pay more attention on that (多余）depends on different occasion.



In some occasion, it is not conflicted, even shows us mutual benefits（show mtual benefit这样搭配不太合理，就写benefit each other) when professors work in labs, as well as in classrooms. The advantages involved with three main aspects. One is that experience professors possess from labs will further promote education well(前面已经有further，这个well可以省略） because students can gain（个人觉得 获得用gain很少，换obtain） knowledge more impressively from the vivid elaboration of professor personal experience, other than from original notebook; the exact databases from labs can also be regarded as more convinced materials to（for） student's discussion.Moreover, professors carry out their updated research results to class and discuss around them （指代迷糊）with students, which（which不能指代前面一整句话） open a window to people and contribute more chances to （for)people to verify the accuracy and precision(重复） of new research result. For example, the idea that people usually believe about（换that） surfing Internet don't take any advantage to elder health has been broken up by recent lab result. The new report from Harford university lab claimed that surfing Internet promote elder's brain activities and effectively protect elder against Parkinson disease. Many professionals are skeptical about this report and want to give a shot to prove its（指代模糊） reliability. In this way, it also propels entire science development. Additionally, some new and good ideas which come from some collaboration such as group discussion in classroom will spark creativities for research. Based on these three reasons, professor can work well done in both of classroom and lab.



However, it isn’t always compatible to（for) professors to work working for separately aims. Some professors probably don’t have enough time and energy to cope teaching with researching well when other professors realized（时态不一致了） being incapable to afford such huge research projects. Some changes need to occur, not every professor enable to balance the relationship between educating and researching after all.（我觉得这样改更简洁明了some change is necessary as not every......) At that situation, those professors who are excel at teaching and dealing with students can better to（去掉，否者前面缺谓语） serve students so that universities can ensure(用guarantee好) educational quality for students; while those professors who are competent to lab works and anticipated to achieve success too(去掉） can be arranged to do lab researches.

In general, doing researches is not fairly contradicted to educate students for professors. On the contrary, it brings mutual affects for educating and researching. Once professors feel arduous to cope with them(指代不明）, universities can adjust professors to do different job according to professors’ preference and specialty .

AnthonySummer

The lecture discusses about the reasons contribute to yellow cedar's decrease have still unclear which refutes the main idea in reading passage that three hypotheses lead to declined population of yellow cedar.



First, the professor doubts the claiming in （感覺這裡啰嗦，讀了不通暢，讓人感覺是模板）reading that cedar bark beetle leads to cedar's decline by eating and attacking its woods. He argues that yellow cedar （你聽錯了：, the professor points out that the health cedar trees produce powerful chemistry on its surface that will kill insects。）holds more resistance to insects than other species of trees. To be specific, the chemical materials cedars generated bring Bark beetle serious hurt, even dead. Therefore, the beetle cannot be regarded as a fundamental key to decline cedar.







Second, when the reading passage declares that brown bear is a murder（不是殺人~~~） to destroy Cedar tree's habitat （不能說是摧毀habitat，又不是自然災害~~~~~~~）, the professor raises against this by saying that bear virtually do not effect the cedar. He cites one evidence that the populations of cedar still have reduced in an island where don't have any bears. （細節沒把握到~在多聽一遍吧！）



Additionally, the reading passage asserts that climate change as a result of making cedar's roots freezing,（沒那麼嚴重吧：that frost will damage the root system of trees）but the professor rebuts this by saying that Cedar locates in lower elevator where offers a relatively warm temperature still has suffered dead or damage. The professor believes that if the hypotheses are convinced. This kind of tree in high elevator will suffer more hurt than in the lower elevator due to the higher elevator holding the lower temperature.Unfortunately, neither the Cedar located at low nor high elevator is suffering a lot.





In general, the professor pronounces the reasons of Cedar's shrink in a contrary angle with the reading passage.

我把托福踩脚下

11.18 Do you agree with the viewpoint that people are now easier to become educated than in the past?

With the rapid development of civilization, People have more chance to receive education nowadays by different ways, such as online classes or campus education. Compare with people in past decades, it is inconvenient that people learn primarily through traditional ways such as church classes or serving as an apprentice with silversmith or shoe-maker. From my perspective, today's people feel freer to learn than them in the past because present society enable to assist them with various teaching ways and a lot of social media platforms; the increased people’s educational consciousness also gives rise to this result.


First of all, traditional campus education as an important role in people's lifespan today become more diverse of its teaching methods, that contributes to culture people well. Digit techniques truly help campus education a lot by providing a large amount of accessories methods. For instance, college students use telescopes at astronomy class to observe and orient star, or students in high school utilize microscopes to detach biofilm between cells at biology class, even more vivid geographic models, such as rack fault models, serve to our geology class. Absolutely, those teaching equipments and methods which seem are commonplace today but rare in past like computers, projectors, and microphones and audio booth extend their function to impress students both from visual and audio views. Therefore, students tend to understand all related knowledge easier.


Furthermore, because an increasing concept involved that being educated leads to a prospective future, people tend to plan their children to learn different skills and wide knowledge, even they are not contented to send children to some college which are as far as flying over several hours. By contrast, people in the past concerned more how their kids can feed their basic live; so, parents send their children to learn with silver smiths or from sailors. They cast the hope to their children being future silversmith or tailor. However, today’s people are willing to learn knowledge involved with wider and deeper to satisfy their stomach, other than halting by one or two skills only to feed their basic life. Moreover, the awakening of consciousness to education also causes a diversity of educational research. For instance, a field of traditional special education today is being specifically divided into two branches, talent education and disabled individual education. Apparently, the refinement of research catalog is helpful to educate different group of people.


Besides, education hasn’t been more accessible to people without media platforms. The tool of media which assumes propagate information educates people a lot by broadcasting on television and radio. In general, depending on broad modern teaching equipments and people’s strong concept of educational importance, people feel obviously that they are freer and easier to derive professional and common knowledge from today’s society than people did in the past.