“我把托福踩脚下的作文贴10.30开始

浅吟天

黄色 好的， 绿色 建议，红色 有问题的
11.18 Do you agree with the viewpoint that people are now easier to become educated than in the past?

With the rapid development of civilization, People have more chance to receive education nowadays by different ways, such as online classes or campus education. Compare（compared） with people in past decades, it（做compared的主语，那后面就应该写现在的情况。所以整句话有点拧巴。直接写把，比如: while it is inconvenient for people in the past to learn ….） is inconvenient that people learn primarily through traditional ways such as church classes or serving as an apprentice with (可数单数前加一个the把)silversmith or shoe-maker. From my perspective, today's people feel freer to learn than them(嗯我不知道主语people和them可不可以并列，我语法学的不好，望告之。当然更好的就是people in contemporary world feel freer to learn than (people可加可不加)in the past) in the past because present society enable（单数） to assist them with various teaching ways and a lot of social media platforms; the increased people’s educational consciousness also gives rise to this result.


First of all, traditional campus education as an important role in people's lifespan today become（单数） more diverse of its teaching methods, that（跟在哪儿后，修饰什么？只有which可跟在逗号后） contributes to culture people well. Digit techniques truly help campus education a lot by providing a large amount of accessories methods. For instance, college students use telescopes at astronomy class to observe and orient star, or students in high school utilize microscopes to detach biofilm between cells at biology class, (木有连词。。run-on了，前面改成句号把)even more vivid geographic models, such as rack fault models, serve to our geology class. Absolutely, those teaching equipments and methods which seem are commonplace today but（无谓语，去掉But加一个are）rare in (the)past like computers, projectors, and microphones and audio booth extend their function to impress students both from visual and audio views. Therefore, students tend to understand all related knowledge easier.


Furthermore, because an increasing concept involved that being educated leads to a prospective future, people tend to plan their children to learn different skills and wide knowledge, even they are not contented to send children to some college which are as far as flying over several hours. By contrast, people in the past concerned more how their kids can feed their basic live(短语？我觉得是make a living); so, parents send(sent) their children to learn with silver smiths or from（这个from是干嘛的？） sailors. They cast the hope to their children being future silversmith or tailor. However, today’s people are willing to learn knowledge involved with wider and deeper(wider and deeper啥？少个名词) to satisfy their stomach, other than(是“除了，绝不是”的意思，应该用rather than) halting by one or two skills only to feed their basic life. Moreover, the awakening of consciousness(弱弱的觉得这两个词的效果一样，重复了。等你跟我讨论) to education also causes a diversity of educational research. For instance（换个词把，前面用过了）, a field of traditional special education today is being specifically divided into two branches, talent education and disabled individual education. Apparently, the refinement of research catalog is helpful to educate different group of people.（再加一句，什么这样就方便以前残疾人不上学的来上学了这类的，点题，强调比以前easier）


Besides, education hasn’t been more accessible to people without media platforms. The tool of media which assumes propagate(assume sth，要个名词把这里。或你把assume去掉。还有，propagate有一种鼓动宣传的意思，不是很中性，这个词。建议慎用) information educates people a lot by broadcasting on television and radio(个人觉得by这句和前面which有点重，或放在一起写成一个句子。读的时候挺不通的). In general, （为啥不另起一段呢）depending on broad modern teaching equipments and people’s strong concept of educational importance, people feel obviously that they are freer and easier to derive professional and common knowledge from today’s society than people did in the past.


LZ要加强语法哈！单复数，过去式注意一下
还有，不是长难句就好，我觉得有些句子读起来不是很通的。有的意思表达的不简洁。
一起加油！

我把托福踩脚下

11.26
Friends usually play rather important roles in people’s lifespan. What is more important characteristic of a friend to consider about when you choose friends? Some people make friends that depends on what they can obtain when they in needs because they believe that friends should help each other. However, from my perspective, I am inclined to have friends who can share my feeing and fun with rather than who is able to help me.


To start with, if you choose friends with a strong intention, like in order to gain their helping one day, your friendship wouldn't last forever. For instance, homeless people want to have wealthy friends to favor free shelters; students who are awkward to math desire to make friends with others who are good at math. What will happen if their friends cannot offer a free shelter or a math studying with them, they would be annoyed and upset. A Strong intention lets people do not feel free to make friends. It is not mentioned how they can maintain good friendship through this way, because people pick up friends don’t depends on true interest in each other, but with a deliberate intention. As a result of it, you probably break up your friendship; what your friends will bring you neither fun nor any helping.


Moreover, considering the fact that we always need assistant in our daily life, to choose friends who always share fun and feeling with you can further strength your friendship. You can deeply understand each other through some activities like go shopping, have dinners and playing baseball together. Your friends could know what your eating habit is, what your clothes style is, and how cooperate with you to win the baseball game. Further, your friend can do a favor without your asking when you in needs because they really know you a lot.


In general, it is wise that make friends who can share your happiness and feeling with. Do not choose friends with a deliberate intention of helping because your friend would be tired of your incessant demands for helping. To maintain a long-last and strong friendship, just treat your friend with honesty and frankness and make them feel free and have a good time to hang out you.

晨依Jacqueline

11-26修改建议
红色为错误，蓝色为建议，绿色为精彩（不知道为啥高亮都不显示了呜）！



Friends usually play rather important roles in people’s lifespan. What is more important characteristicof a friendto(you) consider about when you choose friends?(问句很出彩~)Some people make friends that depends on what they can obtain when they (+are)in needs because they believe that friends should(个人感觉should的语气不够，用must或者are responsible to更好) help each other. However, from my perspective,(这个和后面incline意思重复，可以删一个) I am inclined to have friends who can share my feeing and fun with rather than whois(are)able to help me.

To start with, if you choose friends with a strong intention, like in order to gain their helping one day, your friendship wouldn't last forever. For instance, homeless people want to have wealthy friends to favor free shelters; students who are awkward to math desire to make friends with others who are good at math.What will happen if their friends cannot offer a free shelter or a math studying(guidance更好)with(to) them, they would be annoyed and upset. A Strong intention lets people do not(won't let people) feel free to make friends. It is not mentioned how they can maintain good friendship through this way, because people (don't前移了)pick up friends don’t depends on true interest in each other, but with a deliberate intention.As a result of it, you probably break up your friendship; what your friends will bring you (+is)neither fun nor any helping(helpful).

Moreover, considering the fact that we always need assistant in our daily life, to choose friends who always share fun and feeling with you can further strength your friendship. You can deeply understand each other through some activities like go shopping, have(having) dinners and playing baseball together.(动词要平行！)Your friends could know what your eating habit is, what your clothes style is, and how cooperate with you to win the baseball game. Further, your friend can do a favor without your asking when you in needs because they really know you a lot.


In general, it is wisethat(to) make friends who can share your happiness and feeling with. Do not choose friends with a deliberate intention of helping because your friend would be tired of your incessant demands for helping. To maintain a long-last and strong friendship, just treat your friend with honesty and frankness and make them feel free and have a good time to hang out you.


[conclusion]

特别欣赏你的立意和细节，虽然很平实但是特别充足。用以小见大的手法慢慢展现你的观点，超级赞！行文很流畅，句式多变，要是能写完后稍微检查一下排除小的语法错误就更完美了！

晨依Jacqueline

啊 在首页看到我的名字粗线，回忆一下今天自己写的烂文，觉得好对不起你。。。
加油练习，我就是太久没有练了，现在写得越来越差劲了

我把托福踩脚下

谢谢依晨
eating habit --diet perference
2段的首句前半句 误导本段内容--。应该改为Having a friend with fun is not exclusive to have a friend who is helpful.

我把托福踩脚下

12.13综合tpo 8
The lecture argues the accuracy of Chevalier's memoir which refutes the main idea in the reading passage that Chevalier made up many events in his memoir to make his life seem glamorous.



First, the professor opposes the idea in the passage that Chevalier is actually poor because the evidence showed that he borrowed a large amount of money from a Swiss merchant. She argues that Chevalier's loan doesn't enough mean that he is poor；It is more possible that he used this loan to cope with his cash emergency and buffered the waiting of his cash arrive from selling something.



Second, while the passage describes that some critics are skeptical about the detailed conversation between him and Votaire, the professor contradicts this by saying that Chevalier noted down everything included conversation’s contents at each night, then tapped his notes when he finally proposed to write his memoir.



Finally, the passage questions Chevalier's story about escaping from Italy's prison with making a hole in the ceiling, and speculates that Chevalier jailers were bribes to free him. The professor in lecture rebuts this by saying that none of powerful friends refers to this prison case. Additionally, the old policemen documents pointed out that ceiling of prison room had been repaired that convinces people to trust chevalier’s escape as he said in his memoir .

阿伦艾弗森

The lecture argues the accuracy of Chevalier's memoir which refutes the main idea in the reading passage that Chevalier made up many events in his memoir to make his life seem glamorous.



First, the professor opposes the idea in the passage that Chevalier is actually poor because the evidence showed that he borrowed a large amount of money from a Swiss merchant. She（最好用pro，会认为是chevalier） argues that Chevalier's loan doesn't enough mean that he is poor；It is more possible that he used this loan to cope with his cash emergency and buffered the waiting of his cash arrive from selling something.（covert access to cash）



Second, while the passage describes that some critics are skeptical about the detailed conversation between him and Votaire, the professor contradicts this by saying that Chevalier noted down everything included conversation’s contents at each night, then tapped his notes when he finally proposed to write his memoir.



Finally, the passage questions Chevalier's story about escaping from Italy's prison with making a hole in the ceiling, and speculates that Chevalier jailers were bribes to free him. The professor in lecture rebuts this by saying that none of powerful friends refers to this prison case. （有一个和其他狱友的小比较可以加上）Additionally, the old policemen documents pointed out that ceiling of prison room had been repaired that convinces people to trust chevalier’s escape as he said in his memoir .

我把托福踩脚下

超时完成

21 December
Independent Writing: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? To increase economic growth, government can neglect environmental concerns.
Integrated Writing: TPO 16

There is a hot topic people discuss whether government should neglect environmental concerns for achieving the ultimate goal to increase economic growth. Different people hold different perspectives. Some people believe that nothing is more important than economic growth so people should take economy as the foremost concern while others hold the positive attitude of environmental friendship. From my perspective, government who neglects environmental protest would be a featherbrain.


To begin with, a swift economic growth must be based on a good environment around. Nobody dislikes a gorgeous landscape, a comfortable house garden, or a tidy street, doesn’t it?! A good surrounding which could be quiet and clean, maybe with flower favor or singing from birds absolutely would attract more people than a smelly and poor place would do. For example, my hometown where locates close to a crystal river intrigues thousands travelers and hikers to come here. I am proud of my town because we have green hills and mountains covered with lush vegetation, and big green canopy with many sorts of birds. In this case, local governor determined to develop tourism there in order to increase the overall GDP of my town. Based on the effective environmental protests and renewable natural resource concerning, tourism has become a major financial resource in my town until today. At least of me, wouldn’t imagine what will change without good local environment.


Moreover, it is unwise decision that government does nothing to awful circumstance. The most direct hurt would be an overwhelmed environmental contamination. Take some examples, an awful air pollution for an unlimited private cars, or messy water or lake pollution for uncontrolled chemistry industry, or a nuclear leakage accident for hasty construction of power plant. For instance, in order to raise income, some local travelling agencies extend animal- hunting times and uncontrolled quantities of hiker or traveler rather than thinking of the landscape's ability of adaptation. At end, the animals have gone away, and splendid landscape and attraction places have become barren while they trampled upon natural green vegetative thousands times more than before. On the other hand, one indirect result will come out if nobody pays attention to condition changing, travelers would not come back any more because there is nothing can attract travelers; local residents also will move to new place as a result of heavy smoking and big noise from around industries. Thus, It is nonsense to develop economy.


Besides, it is reported by American Scientific Magazines that people ability of hearing has impaired by 20 percent than in the past among recent 30 years due to a seemingly uncritical noise pollution which possibly comes from living nearby train station, industry or shopping mall and so on. Thus, to individual, lives in a quiet and comfort neighborhood would be helpful to do his/ her social work better. Both of social development and economy growth must depend on its local residence and constructors, I believe that government see this point clearly.


In general, economy and environment coordinate as a whole. A poor environment causes a barren economy. From history, People are good at tapping surroundings to develop economy, but they are lack of idea and experience to recover environment as it in the past. Government who relies on sacrificing environment only to save economy is really fatuous. Anyway, government should take a long-term look to develop economy and protest local environment.

我把托福踩脚下

Integrated Writing: TPO 16

The lecture discusses that new rules which published in 1990 changed whole archaeological field in Britain that refutes the main idea in the reading passage that the science of archaeology and old cultural artifacts faced with serious problems there. The new guidance improved situation in all three areas discussed in reading passage.

First, the professor opposes the idea in the passage that many valuable artifacts cannot be protested well. She argues that new guidance stated that before construction projects started, it had to been examined by archaeologists to see if this site is interesting or valuable. If it is, the next step was that builder, archaeologists and local government have to work together and do plans to preserve artifacts and important site.

Furthermore, while the passage declares that archeologists suffered a bad financial supports and could not be paid by government any more, the professor contradicts this by saying that any worker in this field could be paid by Construction Company but not by government. Additionally, the company also could pay everything included examining and other works under this constructions project. Besides, she mentions that company provided funding to allow archaeologist to work far-growing what they could not do in the past.

Finally, the passage asserts that the career fell in trouble in Britain due to unpaid work and less positions, but the lecture rebuts the idea and saying that the new statement ruled that company paid all for archaeological works, such as evaluating preserved area, doing plans, professor manner(?这个我也没听好), processing date and writing report or article. A lot of unpaid works didn't process before but can be done now. What’s more, increasing work opportunity absolutely increased the number of worker in archaeology.

txwilliam

There is a hot topic people discuss whether governmentshould neglect environmental concerns for achieving the ultimate goal toincrease economic growth. Different people hold different perspectives. Somepeople believe that nothing is more important than economic growth so peopleshould take economy as the foremost concern while others hold the positiveattitude of environmental friendship. From my perspective, government whoneglects environmental protest would be a featherbrain.


To begin with, a swift economic growth must be based on agood environment around. Nobodydislikes a gorgeous landscape, a comfortable house garden, or a tidy street,doesn’t it?! A goodsurrounding which could be quiet and clean, maybe with flower favor or singingfrom birds absolutely would attract more people than a smelly and poor placewould do. For example, my hometown where locates close to a crystalriver intrigues thousands travelers and hikers to come here. I am proud of mytown because we have green hills and mountains covered with lush vegetation,and big green canopy with many sorts of birds. In this case, local governordetermined to develop tourism there in order to increase the overall GDP of mytown. Based on the effective environmental protests and renewable naturalresource concerning, tourism has become a major financial resource in my townuntil today. At least of me, wouldn’t imagine what will change without goodlocal environment.


Moreover, it is unwise decision that government doesnothing to awful circumstance. The most direct hurt would be an overwhelmedenvironmental contamination. Take some examples, an awful air pollution for anunlimited private cars, or messy water or lake pollution for uncontrolledchemistry industry, or a nuclear leakage accident for hasty construction ofpower plant. For instance, in order to raise income, some local travellingagencies extend animal- hunting times and uncontrolled quantities of hiker ortraveler rather than thinking of the landscape's ability of adaptation. At end,the animals have gone away, and splendid landscape and attraction places have become barrenwhile they trampled upon natural green vegetative thousands times more thanbefore. On the other hand, one indirect result will come out if nobody paysattention to condition changing, travelers would not come back any more becausethere is nothing can attract travelers; local residents also will move to newplace as a result of heavy smoking and big noise from around industries. Thus,It is nonsense to develop economy.


Besides, it is reported by American Scientific Magazinesthat people ability of hearing has impaired by 20 percent than in the pastamong recent 30 years due to a seemingly uncritical noise pollution whichpossibly comes from living nearby train station, industry or shopping mall andso on. Thus, to individual, lives in a quiet and comfort neighborhood would behelpful to do his/ her social work better. Both of social development andeconomy growth must depend on its local residence and constructors, I believethat government see this point clearly.


In general, economy and environment coordinate as a whole.A poor environment causes a barren economy. From history, People are good attapping surroundings to develop economy, but they are lack of idea andexperience to recover environment as it in the past. Government who relies onsacrificing environment only to save economy is really fatuous. Anyway, government should take along-term look to develop economy and protest local environment.


好词，好句，好文章，我感觉在加强一下逻辑，就更好了，没什么大问题，看看老美的分文吧，加油，我的也发过去了，哈