独立写作 求拍砖 求指导~

dreamcece

蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结红色为错误

The reading passage 谓语呢？？the buzzing should be banned since the company could pay the buzzer to cheat customers.However, the student casts doubt on what the reading passage holds based on his experience as a buzzer.



First of all, the reading passage holds 前面出现过hold了，可以换词。 that the buzzer who praises the product may be paid by company.But the student contradicts this by saying that a buzzer is always be hired after he or she have used the product and then give a good evaluation to the product. Thus, the buzzer does tell truth.



Furthermore, the student opposes the reading passage by saying that the costumer will not only follow the buzzer’s recommend but also consider other factors such as price, service and durance of the product. Obviously, the fact that consumers listen to their endorsements less critically in the reading passage is unconvincing. 感觉这里的主句说the fact is unconvincing有点奇怪，因为做the fact的宾语从句所说的东西并不是真实的。。。所以我认为不应该用the fact, 而应该用the idea/ point/ ... held in the reading passage



Finally, the reading passage asserts that the buzzing can destroy social relationship. However, the student believes the statment is definitely not true. The reason is that if the product is of bad quality, the company will not recruit buzzers. The buzzing makes the product open to customers.这个点的分析楼主没有写下来。建议重听以后补上。

小滋滋

TPO20
The reading passage explores the focus on the three kinds of damage caused by "let it burn" policy. However, the lecture cast doubts on what the reading passage holds.



First of all, the reading passage contends that the fire may cause damage to tress and other vegetation in the park whereas the lecture argues that the fire will not only cause the destruction of certain species but also create new vegetation, leading to a more diversity species. He proves this point by giving two examples. The first example is that the fire offer unshed place for one species of vegetation to grow. The second example is that fire makes species vegetation expose to high level heat and have a higher of chance to survive.



Furthermore, despite the reading passage asserts that park will harm wild life; the professor believes that the fire can recover the forest and offer new opportunities for animals.Then he supports his point with the statement that the fire enables the new grass grow prosperously, which is depened on by small animals like rabbits, and as a result it provide sufficient food for these animals., some of which serves as prey for large predators, therefore resulting in  all animal wild life more stronger.



Finally, the reading passage considers that fire make park unavailable to tourists and therefore have a bad effect on local economy. However, the professor opposes this by saying that many factors like strong wind contribute to the massive fire in 1818. The visitors began to visit the park again since the nesx year.

xeyyxzty

What is happiness？Different people will hold different answers to thisquestion due to their different backgrounds. Some people hold that the morepossessions we(个人感觉用they更好哈，后面的也是) have, the happier wewill be. Others believe that, on the other hand, more possessions may bring moreproblems. From my point of view, people todaywould be happier if they had more possessions.


First of all,more possessions can make us live a better life in this day and age（才疏学浅哈，是固定用法吗？求教）. The reason is that,with thesteady of the growth of and economic development（呃~什么意思？）, our living standards have been greatlychanged（personally, improved更好） over past few years and we nowadays needalarge income（确定可以这么用吗？熊熊会保险点直接more money…）  to meet our increasing requirements in allaspects. In this situation, if we have more possessions, we are able to supportour family and improve the living conditions of whole family（是不是有一点小罗嗦呢~个人感觉哈）. For example, you can afford your latestfashion clothes in the shop for （afford…for对吗？buy…for wife就好了吧，而且your clothes是什么逻辑？不懂）your wife. You can buya big house in the suburbs, which provides agood environment for your children’s development. You can also afford yourchildren the best education to send hisàhim or her(貌似them更好，前面就是复数呀) toexcellent school. All of these will definitely provide your family live in ahigh-quality life.


Furthermore, the abundant possessions that you earn by yourhard working can bring you a sense of personal satisfaction. Nothing can comparewith the happiness that you gain the fruits（凌乱了~什么意思） after you devote your efforts and soul to one thing. When you finish aload of work or promote sales of productions, you will get a good salary oreven a bonus. At the meanwhile, you will be happy and successful unconsciously,even though you have spent an exhausted day.

Admittedly, more often thannot, more possession may bring you more trouble. For example, a big salary that you earn from your work（个人感觉这句话没什么实际意义吧，感觉删除不影响） can afford your family a big house in the suburbs（不理解为什么两次强调suburbs~）. But it also meansthat you have to commute from workplace to your home every day. The endlessstop-and-go drive two times a day will make you depressed whenever the firstday to work or the last. However, when comparing the disadvantages andadvantages, we can definitely conclude that possessions benefit our life more.The reason is that our family or our work is more important than the littleinconvenience in our life.

In sum, although more possessions bring us a littletrouble in some times, we need more money to earn a living for our family andmake them live a better life in long run. It is undeniable that one’s quantityof possessions can benefit both our family and us. Thus, there’s no doubt that people today would be happier if they had more possessions.


个人感觉就是你说话感觉有点小罗嗦~有的时候很obvious的东西为什么要说明呢？
有的用法有错误~也许熊熊才疏学浅哈，不太了解...那就忽略我吧
熊熊一直羡慕能写出好多词的人
加油~

小滋滋

TPO21
The reading passage explores a focus on the issue of benefits genetically modified trees. However, the lecture cast doubts on what the reading passage holds.



Firstly, the reading passage asserts that genetically modified trees are hardier that nature trees whereas the lecture contends that genetically modified trees that resist only one species pest will not ensure their survival. The reason is that the ability of genetically modified trees to resist disaster is uniform only when the environment is designed in the prearrange route. But if other factors such as climate or pest break out, they will completely wipe out.



Furthermore, despite the statement in the reading passage that genetically modified trees will bring famers economic benefit, the professor asserts that it costs more for farmers to grow genetically modified trees. Then she supports this point by saying that genetically modified trees company charge for seeds of genetically modified trees. In addition, farmers must pay company every time when they plant the trees.



Finally, the reading passage considers that the use of genetically modified trees will prevent the overexploitation of mild trees. However, the professor contradicts this by saying that genetically modified tree is vey aggressive and they can compete resources such as sunlight, water and nutrients with wild trees, posing them in a danger.

Crystal的秋天

The reading passage explores the focus on the three kindsof damage caused by "let it burn" policy. However, the lecture castdoubts on what the reading passage holds.
First of all, the reading passage contends that the fire may cause damage totress and other vegetation in the park whereas the lecture argues that the firewill not only cause the destruction of certain species but also create newvegetation, (表达有误，应该是不会造成damage，语意反了)leadingto a more diversity species. He proves this point by giving two examples. Thefirst example is that the fire offer unshed place for one species of vegetationto grow. The second example is that fire makes species vegetation expose tohigh level heat and have a higher of chance to survive.
Furthermore, despite the reading passage asserts that park will harm wild life;the professor believes that the fire can recover the forest and offer newopportunities for animals. Then he supports his point with the statement thatthe fire enables the new grass grow prosperously, which is depended on by smallanimals like rabbits(depend 主动形式更常见吧，换成which smallanimals depends on更清晰), and as a result it providesufficient food for these animals., some of which serves as prey for largepredators, therefore resulting in  all animal wild life more stronger.（是 food chain更stronger, 好像和wildlife更stronger不太一样）
Finally, the reading passage considers that fire make park unavailable totourists and therefore have a bad effect on local economy. However, theprofessor opposes this by saying that many factors like strong wind contributeto the massive fire in 1818. （语意表达不完整，这段更强调的是unusual, 而不是这些factors）Thevisitors began to visit the park again since the next year.

最后最好能加个总结，如果时间允许。语言没有特别大问题，需要加强听力的准确性，我也有这个问题，共勉！
The reading passage explores the focus on the three kindsof damage caused by "let it burn" policy. However, the lecture castdoubts on what the reading passage holds.First of all, the reading passage contends that the fire may cause damage totress and other vegetation in the park whereas the lecture argues that the firewill not only cause the destruction of certain species but also create newvegetation, (表达有误，应该是不会造成damage，语意反了)leadingto a more diversity species. He proves this point by giving two examples. Thefirst example is that the fire offer unshed place for one species of vegetationto grow. The second example is that fire makes species vegetation expose tohigh level heat and have a higher of chance to survive.
Furthermore, despite the reading passage asserts that park will harm wild life;the professor believes that the fire can recover the forest and offer newopportunities for animals. Then he supports his point with the statement thatthe fire enables the new grass grow prosperously, which is depended on by smallanimals like rabbits(depend 主动形式更常见吧，换成which smallanimals depends on更清晰), and as a result it providesufficient food for these animals., some of which serves as prey for largepredators, therefore resulting in  all animal wild life more stronger.（是 food chain更stronger, 好像和wildlife更stronger不太一样）
Finally, the reading passage considers that fire make park unavailable totourists and therefore have a bad effect on local economy. However, theprofessor opposes this by saying that many factors like strong wind contributeto the massive fire in 1818. （语意表达不完整，这段更强调的是unusual, 而不是这些factors）Thevisitors began to visit the park again since the next year.

最后最好能加个总结，如果时间允许。语言没有特别大问题，需要加强听力的准确性，我也有这个问题，共勉！另外单复数再注意一下，在word里面有改到，粘贴过来好像自动修正了

dreamcece

蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结红色为错误

The reading passage explores a focus 之前没见过这样的表达，楼主能给点参考吗？on the issue of benefits genetically modified trees. However, the lecture cast doubts on what the reading passage holds.建议在这里把lecturer的观点叙述一下。不过不是大问题。

Firstly, the reading passage asserts that genetically modified trees are hardier than nature trees whereas the lecture contends that genetically modified trees that resist only one species pest will not ensure their survival.【这里THAT 引导的从句成分残缺哦，要加主语主语，或者改成which啦。】 The reason is that the ability of genetically modified trees to resist disaster is uniform【感觉这句话说得有点别扭，我试着改了下，你看O不O. the gene is designed to be uniform so that GM trees cannot resist the unexpected disasters.】 only when the environment is designed in the prearrange route. But if other factors such as climate or pest break out, they will completely wipe out.

Furthermore, despite the statement in the reading passage that genetically modified trees will bring famers economic benefit, the professor asserts that it costs more for farmers to grow genetically modified trees. Then she supports this point by saying that genetically modified trees company charge for seeds of genetically modified trees. In addition, farmers must pay company every time when they plant the trees. 还有一个例子是直接承接上面的原因的，就是一旦GM遇上不是程序内的灾害，农民的损害更是大大滴。

Finally, the reading passage considers that the use of genetically modified trees will prevent the overexploitation of mild trees. However, the professor contradicts this by saying that genetically modified tree is vey aggressive and they can compete resources such as sunlight, water and nutrients with wild trees, posing them in a danger.

小滋滋

谢谢ecec的修改，嘿嘿，那个explore a focus就是我从网上扒的一个模板， 嘿嘿，总觉着写一个词有点干吧，也不知道对不对@@

小滋滋

TPO22
The reading passage explores the focus on the issue that the ethanol is not a good replacement. However, the lecture casts doubt on what the reading passage holds.



Firstly, the reading passage suggests that ethanol release carbon oxide in to atmosphere as much as the gasoline do, which also contributes to the extent of global warming whereas the lecture asserts that the ethanol can counteract the amount of carbon dioxide though it also release carbon dioxide in to atmosphere. The reason is that the carbon dioxide provides nutriments for the corn, one of raw material producing ethanol, and therefore the carbon dioxide released from burning ethanol can be removed from atmosphere.



Furthermore, the reading passage contends that the production of ethanol will decrease the amount of plants available to animals. However, the professor contradicts this by saying that the part of plant made into ethanol are always not be eaten by animals. Obviously, the production of ethanol will not extinct the food source of animals.



Finally, despite the statement in the reading passage that the price of ethanol will not compete with the price of gasoline due to the subsidy from government, the professor points out that government offer tax subsidy only when needed.

She then supports her view by saying that after the production of ethanol goes up; the price of ethanol will cut down.

正儿八经潜水

11.6.TPO22综合 修改
The reading passage explores the focus on the issue that the ethanol is not a good replacement. However, the lecture casts doubt on what the reading passage holds.


Firstly, the reading passage suggests that ethanol releases carbon oxide into atmosphere as much as the gasoline does, which also contributes to the extent of global warming whereas the lecture asserts that the ethanol can counteract the amount of carbon dioxide though it also releases carbon dioxide into atmosphere.The reason is that the carbon dioxide provides nutriments for the corn, one of raw material producing(that can be used to produce)ethanol, and therefore the carbon dioxide released from burning ethanol can be removed from atmosphere.
Furthermore, the reading passage contends that the production of ethanol will decrease the amount of plants available to animals. However, the professor contradicts this by saying that the part of plant made into ethanol are always not be eaten by animals. Obviously, the production of ethanol will not extinct the food source of animals.

Finally, despite the statement in the reading passage that the price of ethanol will not compete with the price of gasoline due to the subsidy from government, the professor points out that government offer tax subsidy only when needed. She then supports her view by saying that after the production of ethanol goes up, the price of ethanol will cut down.


注意长短句相结合

我把托福踩脚下

等你7号的独立哦