CECE的作文贴

dreamcece

As children grow, they seek increasing independence. However, what comes along with independence is a tough task for children to handle, responsibility. A heated discussion was raised about what is the best way for parents to make the children learn about responsibility during their growth. Some say it is best to have children care for an animal, some hold different opinion. In my point of view, the best way to cultivate responsiblity is far beyond taking care for an animal and children should learn about responsibility by making their own decisions and accepting the consequences of their actions.

It is never an easy thing to make the children learn about responsibility because it is so abstract for the young. Parents could initially start with letting children making decisions by themselves. Recently a research shows that the more earlier the children learn to depend on themselves, the more possiblities of being responsible when they are gowing up. A specific example is based on  my observation on my little sister. My parent let her make decisions about her daily simple trials at a very early age, like where to put her cloth, how long to wash the cloth and so on and so forth. When the time comes for her to go to the primary school, she is so strong-minded that she dare to express her idea about the class fairs, which in return make her to be the monitor.
Making decisions is the first step to take responsbility, and when the children see the consequences of their own decision and actions, they will finally know the meaning of responsibility. So hard sometimes the decisions are to make because the consequences of the actions are unpredictable or hard to burden. Children are supposed to learn the principle by trainings. I will take my parents and my little sister’s example again, If she promised to clean her room before dinner, my parents would make sure that her room is clean before she sits down to eat. If she did not follow though with her commitment, she should expect a logical consequence. Sometimes she is not being able to eat dinner until her room is clean. Children should be aware that consequences are tied to their behavior and that is responsibility to every decision they make.
Besides letting them make own decisions and seeing the results of their decisions, parents should do more to help children learn about responsibility. For instance, parents should set the model for the children. Children learn from what their parents do. Therefore, it is important for parents to keep commitment and take responsibilities of every decision they make. In addition, parents should also give children their support. Children can expect their parents are going to be there when they need support. Even as adults we need some help to get us through our responsibilities. When children know they have the support of their parents, they are more willing to take on responsibilities and explore the world.
In all, one single behavior such as having children care for an animal is not the best way to make children learn about responsibility. Children should learn it by making their own decisions and accepting the consequences of their decisions or actions.

阿伦艾弗森

The lecturer gave three explanations respectively responding to the confusions showed in the reading part and testified that the portrait painting was the art of Rembrandt's.

First, after the X-ray examination, researchers found that the fur color was added after 100 years of the portrait originally painted. The reason speculated by the lecturer was that someone wanted to increase the value of painting by adding up the fur color and therefore making the portrait more formal, as a portrait of an aristocrat lady.
Second, according to the research, the original color that Rembrandt used for the girl was in light color of cloff, which illuminated her face. Thus, it was realistic for the painter not painting the shadow. The detail was exactly expected in Rembrandt's work.
Third, the enlarged part of wood panel was added at the same time as the adding fur color because someone wanted to make it more granted (我觉得是granded吧。)and valuable. （可以加一点原始的画是画在一片上的，对下对比）However, in the original part of the portrait, the wood panel was examinated to be made by same tree for another wood panel, which was for (be for 表赞成)Rembrandt's self portrait with hat

没有大问题。我觉得挺棒的、~~

dreamcece

10.19
Do you agree or disagree? It is better to work with your own computer and telephone at your
home than work in your company's office.

The office has greatly dominated the way of work after the industrial revolution. However, with the development of the remote-control software and network, peole now have more one choice that they can work at home. In my point of view, working in the office is generally a better idea compared with working at home.
First and the most important, working in the company’s office is relatively more efficient in most industries for it provide better communication. The offices nowadays provide staff mostly one’s own computer and telephone, so the problem about the limited resource which constraint the efficiency should not exist. In addition, working in the office provide the chance to communicate with the co-workers face to face. Misunderstanding between the communication on computer and telephone can lead to huge devastation. In some certain design industries, it is true that designers should get their own space to catch the inspirations, albeit that, getting right information from their customer and advices from their supervisors can be more crucial in those areas which need ceaseless modification. Therefore, working in the office is more effient than working by oneself at home.
Furthermore, despite the truth that working at home is seen as a welfare because the relaxable environment, working at home would also in return decreasing the efficiency for being more distracting. Working at home means one can work on his bed, sitting infront of his TV with the speakers on, playing who knows songs. Can you imagine one more distracting thing than this? Working at office means there are certain rules to obey, one is supposed to do nothing but his own work at the office area and which facilitate the efficiency of work. The situation may not apply to someone who has high self-displine, however, not everyone especially the young adult can ensure their focus not being abstracted in the cozy environment.
Last but not least, working at home with personal computer and telephone can somehow ruin the atmosphere of family. Take my own experience for example, my dad once worked at home for a while. I have to admit that there was a strange feeling for me during that period. I was told not to disturpt my father, but hard thing it was can be for a 10-year-old girl. Thus I observed the way my father worked, he was sometimes frustracted when he had trouble drawing the blueprint and sometimes excited when the inspiration came to his mind, which terrified me somehow. I never seen my father so emotional besides his working time. Therefore, working at home is not always a better idea especially for ones who are already parents. Working at home means sacrifice the role they strive to play, though I approve that sometimes the dedication to work expressed by their parents can be a model for children.
In all, after comparing the advantages and disadvantages of working at home and working at office, it is better to work at the office.

计时： 37min.  

dreamcece

The lecturer respectively rejected three theories which were used to speculate the usage of Chaco structures. He said that  all the theories are not convincing at all.

The first theory said the Chaco structures were for residential and hundreds of people lived in there. Nevertheless,the lecturer mentioned that the evidence found by archaeologists were not supportive to the theory. It was supposed to have many fireplaces for hundreds of people living in one place. Truth is, only fireplaces enough for 10 families were discovered.
The second theory proposed that Chaco structures  were used for food storage. The lecturer, however, pointed that there were no traces remained to support the theory. No maize nor huge containers were discovered by the archaeologists.
The third theory contended that the Chaco structures were used as ceremonial centers. The lecturer defaulted this one for the same reason as the second theory, saying there is no evidence to support it. Though  ueblo Alto was mentioned, the lecturer debated that it was not expected to be the ceremonial center. Old materials in pile could be the material left for construction. Also, the remain of food were mostly likely to be the regular trash rather being the sacrifice on the ceremony. Therefore, Pueblo Alto was not good enough to support the theory.

夜游的恶鸟

修改1018

10.18 TPO 4

The lecturer challenged thepoint of reading passage that dinosaurs were endotherms. She provided severval several evidencesto cast the logic chain to prove that the dinosaurs werenot endotherms.

First, according to thereading passage, the bone fund in the polar area suggested that the dinosaurswere endotherms because only endotherms can survive in such a cold environment.The lecturer asserted that the polar area werwere much morewarmer than what it is now. It is warm enough for the dinosaurs to survive eventhey are not endotherms. In addition, the migration of dinosaur also explained why they were not found in the polar area any morebecause they were not fit for the cold.（听力中说的是在每年寒冷的几个月里dinosaurs会migrate，并不是说寒冷后恐龙不在存在于polar area）

Second, reading materialsuggested that the leg position of the dinosaur can be the evidence thatdinosaurs were endotherms. Nevertheless, the lecturer debated that the legposition had nothing to do with the definition of dinosaurs being endotherms.The structure was effective to support weight and that was why dinosaurs cangrow in such a huge size.言简意赅分析的到位。

Third, information given inthe reading part indicated that the presence of Haversian canals in bone beinga sign of endotherm. The lecturer admitted that dinosaurs had the Haversiancanals, but more evidence were found in their fossils to undermine theconclusion of the reading passage. She mentioned that there was a growth ringin their bone, it implied the growth rate of animals. Thisevidence showed that the dinosaurs were growing more rapidly in warmer age thanthe cold one, while the endotherms were supposed to grow at the same ratewhenever in cold or warm time.

整体思路清晰，每段都直接找出reading passage里面可攻击的点再阐述听力中是如何反驳的。
需要注意的是个别词语的拼写及比较级。听力中大部分听的很清楚，偶尔的小细节没有听正确。

夜游的恶鸟

改1018独立

______错误  ______不恰当  _____好！

10.18 独立

As children grow, they seekincreasing independence. However, what comes alongwith independence is a tough task for children to handle, responsibility.A heated discussion was raised about what is the best way for parents to makethe children learn about responsibility during their growth. Some say it is best to（改为it is the best to，it is best to意思等同于you’d better to） have children care for an animal, some hold differentopinion. In my point of view, the best way to cultivate responsiblity responsibilityis far beyond taking care for an animal and children should learn aboutresponsibility by making their own decisions and accepting the consequences oftheir actions.

It is never an easy thing to make the children learnabout responsibility because it is so abstract for the young. Parents couldinitially start with letting children making decisions by themselves. Recentlya research shows that the more earlierthe children learn to depend on themselves, the more possiblities possibilities of being responsible there will be when they are gowing growing up. A specificexample is based on my observation on my little sister. My parent let hermake decisions about her daily simple trials at a very early age, like where toput her cloth, how long to wash the cloth and so on and so forth. When the timecomes for her to go to the primary school, she is so strong-minded that shedare to express her idea about the class fairs, which in return make her to bethe monitor.

Making decisions is the first step to take responsibility responsibility,and when the children see the consequences of their own decision and actions,they will finally know the meaning of responsibility. So hard sometimes thedecisions are to make because the consequences of the actions are unpredictableor hard to burden. Children are supposed to learn the principle by trainings. Iwill take my parents and my little sister’s example again, If she promised toclean her room before dinner, my parents would make sure that her room is cleanbefore she sits down to eat. If she did not follow thoughthrough with her commitment, she should expect alogical consequence. Sometimes she is not being able to eat dinner until herroom is clean. Children should be aware that consequences are tied to theirbehavior and that is responsibility to every decision they make.
Besides letting them make own decisions and seeing theresults of their decisions, parents should do more to help children learn aboutresponsibility. For instance, parents should setthe model for the children. Children learn from what their parents do.可合为一句 Therefore, it is important for parents to keepcommitment and take responsibilities of every decision they make. In addition,parents should also give children their support. Children can expect theirparents are going to be there when theyneed support. Even as adults we need some help to get us through ourresponsibilities. When children know they have the support of their parents,they are more willing to take on responsibilities and explore the world.
In all, one single behavior such as having childrencare for an animal is not the best way to make children learn aboutresponsibility. Children should learn it by making their own decisions andaccepting the consequences of their decisions or actions.
最后一段理解cece的观点是单一的办法不能成为最好的方式，与文章开始说的beyond…是统一的。用了找到比care an animal更好的way来反驳题目观点。只是感觉在文中能再与题目产生一些关联，或者每段提一下这些方法比养小动物更好会更切题一点。不然读到第二段有种在讲另外一个题目的感觉。
文中句子多为单句，容易感觉不连贯，适当讲部分单句合并感觉更好。
部分单词拼写和词组使用、比较级需要稍加注意。
使用了不同的句式，值得学习！
巧妙地利用了一个例子来说明多个论点，学习！

dreamcece

The lecturer disagreed with the opinion expressed in the reading material which towarded the communal online encyclopedias. She called the concerns "prejudice and ignorance."
First, reading material charged that the communal online encyclopedias were inaccurate in many cases. The lecturer, however, debated that there was nothing perfect to look for either paper or online encyclopedias. What is more, the strength of online encyclopedias was that they can be corrected at anytime, which can never be realized for paper encyclopedias.
Second, reading material mentioned that unscrupulous and hackers were able to change the information with bad intentions, causing negative effects. Nevertheless, the lecturer pointed two stragedies used on communal encyclopedias which avoided these problems. First, the special format on crucial data ensured nobody can change them except the operators. Second, there was specific faculty working on the data base to secure the changes made were not malicious.
Third, reading material judged the frequent change of the communal encyclopedias created a false impression of the most important feature. The lecturer objected that the judgement about one topic could never been settled because it changed everyday. In addition, the more important thing was that as long as the updated still represented accurate information about that object, the encyclopedias was working.第三段没有听清楚，所以是根据原文大意还有听到的一些细节乱编的，想看下我乱编的程度会不会接近原来的理由。。。

deanlone

红色错误，蓝色拼写错误，绿色不确定的建议，黄色为精彩
The officehas greatly dominated the way of work after the industrial revolution. (时间状语提前并且把after改为since更好，因为用了现在完成时，Since the industrial revolution，blablabla。。。 )However, with the development of the remote-controlsoftware and network, people now havemore than(少了than) one choice that they can work at home（一开始以为加than，但是后来发现句子仍然有语法问题，that从句为one choice的定语显然不对，可以改写）. In my point of view, working in the office isgenerally a better idea compared with working at home.


First and the most important, working in thecompany’s office is relatively more efficient in most industries for it（it不能指代短语，可以改为this working style） provide better communication. The officesnowadays mostly provide staff one’s own computer and telephone（公司提供员工自己的电脑，貌似逻辑不对，应该是公司允许员工带自己的电脑）, so the problem about the limited resource which constraint the efficiencyshould not exist. In addition, working in the office provides the chance to communicate with the co-workersface to face. Misunderstanding between the communication on computer andtelephone can lead to huge devastation. In some certain design industries, itis true that designers should get their own space to catch the inspirations,albeit that, getting right information from their customer and advices fromtheir supervisors can be more crucial in those areas where need ceaseless modification. （句子结构很好，可以适当替换简单词）Therefore, working in the office is more efficient than working by oneself at home.

Furthermore, despite the truth that working athome is seen as welfare(不可数) because of（because接句子） the relaxing（relaxable不存在，relax的形容词表达是relaxed或relaxing） environment,working at home would also in return decreasing the efficiency for being more distracting（being逻辑主语和句子主语不一致）. Working at home means one can work on hisbed, sit in front of his TV with the speakers on, play who knows songs（三个动词要平行）. Can you imagine one more distracting thing（这个不知道是否more+动名词是否可行） than this? Working at office means there arecertain rules to obey; （逗号不能连接两个完整句）one is supposed to do nothing but his own workat the office area and whichfacilitate the efficiency of work（可以改为动名词从句表伴随）. The situation may not apply to someone whohas high self-displine, however, not everyone especially the young adult canensure their focus not being abstracted in the cozy environment.

Last but not least, working at home withpersonal computer and telephone can somehow ruin the atmosphere of family. Takemy own experience for example, my dad once worked at home for a while. I haveto admit that there was a strange feeling for me during that period. I was toldnot to disturb my father, but hard thing it (it 好像不能指代句子前面的句子)was can be for a 10-year-old girl. Thus I observed the waymy father worked, he was sometimes frustrated when he had trouble drawing the blueprint and sometimesexcited when the inspiration came to his mind, which terrified me somehow（which非限制性定语从句紧跟修饰词，CECE好像想修饰前面整句，应该改为terrifying me somehow这样表结果伴随，而且貌似用terrify不太合适，因为英文解释是make sb feel extremely frightened，换个词更好）. I have never seen my father so emotional besides his workingtime. Therefore, working at home is not always a better idea（用的太多，可以换换,choice? way?） especially for ones who are already parents.Working at home means sacrificingthe role theystrive to play, though I approve that sometimes the dedication to workexpressed by their parents can be a model for children.（dedication不能是榜样吧，the parents, who are dedicated to their work, canbe a model for children会更好吧）

In all, after comparing the advantages and disadvantagesof working at home and working at office（比较对象混乱）, it is better to work at the office.
整体结构清晰，但是非限制性定语从句使用有点欠缺，可以看看关于这一章的语法部分，有些词汇用的不够恰当，可以看看英文解释后再试试
总体而言，逻辑清晰，应从语法和词汇方面加强，Fighting Together!

AnthonySummer

粉红色拼写错误(直接修改了)橘红色语法错误（谓语搭配单复数问题、固定搭配、空格多空了一格、逗号句号用错了）红色其他错误黄色精彩句子蓝色建议修改（个人建议，不对的地方多多指教啊）



The lecturer respectively rejected three theories which were used to speculate the usage of Chaco structures. He said that all the theories are not convincing at all.



The first theory said the Chaco structures were for residential and hundreds of people lived in(live 因为 there后置无需in) there. Nevertheless, the lecturer mentioned that the evidence found by archaeologists were （是evidence support吧，用was） not supportive to（of） the theory. It was supposed to have many fireplaces for hundreds of people living in one place. Truth is, only fireplaces enough for 10 families were discovered.

The second theory proposed that Chaco structureswere used for food storage. The lecturer, however, pointed that there were no traces remained to support the theory. No maize nor huge containers were（was）discovered by the archaeologists. （这段话太少了吧~）

The third theory contended that the Chaco structures were used as ceremonial centers. The lecturer defaulted this one for the same reason as the second theory, saying there is no evidence to support it. Though Pueblo Alto was mentioned, the lecturer debated that it was not expected to be the ceremonial center. Old materials in pile （the pile 吧，名词前肯定有冠词啊）could be the material left for construction. Also, the remain of food were mostly likely to be the regular trash rather being the sacrifice on the ceremony. Therefore, Pueblo Alto was not good enough to support the theory.

感觉是直接复述加以简单描述，无法体现姐姐的丰富技巧和写作水准~加油吧！

klllun

The lecturer disagreed（其实没有必要用过去式啦，一般现在也OK的，不过个人喜好吧，啰嗦一下而已，LZ不要见怪~） with the opinion expressed in the readingmaterial which towarded (这个用法似乎有点不寻常哦，字典中的解释是没有towarded这种用法的哈。Toward/towards可以作为介词。详细的解释见最后)the communal online encyclopedias. She called the concerns"prejudice and ignorance."
First, reading material charged that thecommunal online encyclopedias were inaccurate in many cases. The lecturer,however, debated that there was nothing perfect to look for either paper oronline encyclopedias. What is more, the strength of online encyclopedias wasthat they can be corrected at anytime, which can never be realized for(by，因为前面是被动) paper encyclopedias.
Second, reading material mentioned thatunscrupulous and hackers were able to change the information with badintentions, causing negative effects. Nevertheless, the lecturer pointed twostragedies（拼写） used on communalencyclopedias which avoided these problems. First, the special format oncrucial data ensured nobody can change them except the operators. Second, therewas specific faculty working on the data base to secure the changes made werenot malicious.
Third, reading material judged the frequentchange of the communal encyclopedias created a false impression of the mostimportant feature. （这句的that最好补出来，要不然读上去有点晕啊。所以时态最好全文都用现在时，比较好写啊）The lecturer objected that the judgement （拼写）about one topic could never been settled because it changed everyday（连写表示每天的，要分开，every day）. In addition,the more important thing was that as long as the updated still representedaccurate information about that object, the encyclopedias was working.第三段没有听清楚，所以是根据原文大意还有听到的一些细节乱编的，想看下我乱编的程度会不会接近原来的理由。。。
In addition 前面的还有点沾边，后面的那个句子本身就有点矛盾哦。more important 这里的比较使用不太恰当。还是重听一下再完善吧

Toward/towards
1 a : in the direction of(something or someone)
? The bus is heading toward town. ? She took a step toward the door. ? He leaned towards me.

CECE不好意思啊，来串了一次门，没有看到新贴出来的文章。木有想到LZ那么早就贴出来了。所以回晚了滴~勿怪呀
最后有个小小建议哈，不知道LZ考G不，如果要的话，先把manhattan语法看看，虫子觉得对写作文的遣词造句很有帮助。
Well, open to discuss~