CECE的作文贴

dreamcece

The reading part argues that the U.S. wood companies would not obtain ecocertifications while the lecturer opposites the idea by respectively refuting each point given in the reading material.

First, the reading passage claims that American consumers do not trust in advertisements. Nevertheless, the lecturer points that American consumers are just treat the advertisements differently. They are in convincing of the companies who make their own products and get examined by the independent agencies. Therefore, wood companies which get ecocertifications from  an indepedent agency which enjoys international reputation like the wood ecocertification agency would win the market.
Second, reading material demonstrates that ecocertified wood will be more expensive than uncertified wood by marking up the price in order to compensate the cost of examing. The lecturer agrees with the point that the price does influence the consumer choices, but he also mentions that only a much higher price between competing product would make a difference. In his explanation, two goods with a differential price in 5% would not make a huge variance. In addition, more American consumers are concern about the development and environment. They will accept a higher price getting goods with higher quality.
Third, The reading part suggests that the U.S. companies will obtain ecocertification only if they marketed foreign countries. The lecturer somehow agrees on the viewpoint that consumers influence the market. As what he mentions earlier, American consumers are becoming increasingly interested in the evironmental friendly work. If the American wood companies work slow obtaining the ecocertification, other foreign companies would occupy the U.S. market.

dreamcece

The lecturer holds an opposite opinion toward the accuracy of Chevalier's memoir that she believe the events in Chevalier's memoir are realistic and accurate, against the viewpoint expressed in the reading passage. She respectively makes her explanation to the three doubts mentioned in the reading material.

First, she says that borrowing money does not mean Chevalier was poor. It is true that Chevalier had huge wealth at that time and he was into gambling and parties. Sometimes, it costs several days to convert his fortune into cash by selling his properties. So, he might borrow money in that waiting period, which can not cast the sign that Chevalier was poor.
Second, the lecturer points that Chevalier took journals and wrote down the specific events every night in his life. It is also being confirmed that Chevalier was using those notes and journals to write his memoirs, which ensured the accuracy of his memoir.
Third, the lecturer asserts that there were more powerful and rich people than Chevalier was and they were not able to bribe to free, so it is unlikely Chevalier make that way. In addition, evidence shown in a historical records "Venician document" that soon after Chevalier's escape, the cell need to be repaired. What else except his "prison break" can make the cell to be repaired?

dreamcece

More and more people are spending money on their pets, even though there can be other good ways to spend money.

解析：现象说明文
我的想法： 数据支持more and more people spending money on their pets;
案例支持他们有更好的方式去花钱
综合论证人与宠物的关系
The more crowded the world is, the more lonely people become. To stuff the spiritual emptiness, people tend to raise pets, and along with the phenomenon, more and more people are spending money on their pets, even though they can spend that money in a more significant way.
George Elliot, the pioneer of psychological novel in Englandanimals, once said, “Animals are such agreeable friend, they ask no questions, they pass no criticisms.” It probably explains why people raise pets even “invest” on their best friends. According to a recent study shown in Chengdu Daily, the number of pet license has greatly increased from 2000 to 2012, with an increasing average daily payment on their pets from 2 yuan to 5 yuan. The number of payment can be larger on giant dogs and purebreds.
The owners expand the spending on their pets can due to the following three aspects: First, the increasing income lead to an increasing consumption. People now earn a more nominal wage than they did before. More wage income provides the oppotunity of buying more goods. Second, various pets products and services are provided in the market. The tint special to the dogs and cats are invented, which can cost even more money than some human tint. Veterinary earn a huge profit by collecting a high price of surgery fee on pets. Also, raising a pet usually means paying an extra rate of pets fee living in the rental apartment or communities. Those factors all cast the fact that people can and somehow must spend more and more money on their pets.
Besides spending money on the pets, people do have a better choice with the money. Although that animals are so sweet and accompany the owners, people could find the emotional compensation in the more active way. For instance, they can donate the money to finance the ones who are less fortunate or in poor area. This activity can be more meaningful than raising a sloppy dog. In addition, they can invest the money on themselves, paying a monthly fee in the fitness club will stimulate people make exercise and even more, people can make friends at there, enriching leisure time.
In all, it is true that animals are agreeable friend, but instead of people spending more money on the pets, they can do more significant activities at a same cost.

阿伦艾弗森

The lecturer holds an opposite opinion toward the accuracy of Chevalier's memoir that she believes the events in Chevalier's memoir are realistic and accurate, against the viewpoints expressed in the reading passage. She respectively makes her explanation to the three doubts mentioned in the reading material.

First, she says that borrowing money does not mean Chevalier was poor. It is true that Chevalier had huge wealth at that time and he was(used them) into gambling and parties. Sometimes, it costs several days to convert his fortune into cash by selling his properties. So, he might borrow money in that waiting period, which(严格意义上讲，which 不指代句子的) can not cast the sign that Chevalier was poor.
Second, the lecturer points that Chevalier took journals and wrote down the specific events every night in his life. It is also being confirmeds that Chevalier was using those notes and journals to write his memoirs, which ensured the accuracy of his memoir.
Third, the lecturer asserts that there were more powerful and rich people than Chevalier was and they were not able to bribe to free, so it is unlikely Chevalier make that way. In addition, evidence shown in a historical records "Venician document" that soon after Chevalier's escape, the cell（ceiling）need(时态)to be repaired. What else except his "prison break" can make the cell to be repaired?




总体很好、
注意一下语法上细节的小问题比如时态什么的就OK了。
还有一点就是being 这样的词最好不要出现在句中。
改的地方有什么问题可以一起讨论哈！！~

AnthonySummer

粉红色拼写错误(直接修改了)橘红色语法错误（谓语搭配单复数问题、固定搭配、空格多空了一格、逗号句号用错了）红色其他错误黄色精彩句子蓝色建议修改（个人建议，不对的地方多多指教啊）



10.22 独立



More and more people are spending money on their pets, even though there can be other good ways to spend money.



解析:现象说明文

我的想法: 数据支持more and more people spending money on their pets;

案例支持他们有更好的方式去花钱

综合论证人与宠物的关系

The more crowded the world is, the more lonely people become. To stuff the spiritual emptiness, people tend to raise pets, and along with the phenomenon, more and more people are spending money on their pets, even though they can spend that money in a more significant way.

George Elliot, the pioneer of psychological novel in England animals, once said, "Animals are such agreeable friend, they ask no questions, they pass no criticisms." It probably explains why people raise pets even "invest" on their best friends. According to a recent study shown in Chengdu Daily, the number of pet license has greatly increased from 2000 to 2012, with an increasing average daily payment on their pets from 2 yuan to 5 yuan (Yuan 大写，要不直接用dollar). The number of payment can be larger on giant dogs and purebreds.

The owners expand the spending on their pets can due to the following three aspects: First, the increasing income lead to an increasing consumption. People now earn a more nominal wage than they did before. More wage income provides the ( opportunity ) oppotunity of buying more goods. Second, various pets products and services are provided in the market. The tint special to the dogs and cats are ( is是tint special的谓语吧) invented, which can cost even more money than some human tint. Veterinary earn a huge profit by collecting a high price of (加the）the surgery fee on pets. Also, raising a pet usually means paying an extra rate of pets fee living in the rental apartment or communities.（感觉这句话有点挠，Raising a pet usually means cost more money if the family live in a rental apartment or community. (community单数，不可能同时住在多个地点,感觉不是为了句子复杂而复杂，其实简单的句式就可以表达了 ) Those factors all cast the fact that people can and somehow must spend more and more money on their pets.

Besides spending money on the pets, (这句有些句子重复了） people do have a better choice with （for）the money. Although that animals are so sweet and accompany the owners, people could find the emotional compensation in the （a）more active way. For instance, they can donate the money to finance the ones who are less fortunate or in poor（a poor）area. This activity can be more meaningful than raising a sloppy dog. In addition, they can invest the money on themselves, paying a monthly fee in the fitness club will stimulate people make exercise and even more, people can make friends at（at删掉）there, enriching leisure time.

In all, it is true that animals are agreeable friend, but instead of people spending more money on the pets, they can do more significant activities at a same cost.

写的比较有深度。像一篇科普作文。加油吧！

dreamcece

Also, raising a pet usually means paying an extra rate of pets fee living in the rental apartment or communities.（感觉这句话有点挠，Raising a pet usually means cost more money if the family live in a rental apartment or community. (community单数，不可能同时住在多个地点,感觉不是为了句子复杂而复杂，其实简单的句式就可以表达了 )

回答Anthony这个问题，在美国租房子是分apartment或者非apartment的，大部分的apartment是不能养宠物的；允许养宠物的community一般是需要多收费，所以我才把这两个东西分开写。其实原句成分比较简单，只不过是你不认可apartment 和 community是两种租房形态罢了。

dreamcece

The reading passage points out the problem with the fuel-cell engines and asserts that the hydrogen based fuel would replace the internal-combustion engines. The lecturer agreed with the problem mentioned in the reading passage, but she debates that the attitude in reading passage toward hydrogen based egine is too optimistic.

First, despite the truth that petroleum is a finite resource, hydrogen, the lecturer says, is not a best alternative power because it is not easy to get as the reading passage indicated. The use of hydrogen need it to be in pure liquid, which is a complete artificial stuff. In addition, it is hard to produce and store the pure liquid hydrogen.
Second, pure liquid hydrogen is not the core to solve the pollution with cars. During the production process of hydrogen, it causes a higher amount of pollution than the same size of petroleuom using on the cars. Therefore, it is inapplicable to used hydrogen as a way to solve car pollutions.
Third, the lecturer mentions, it requires a high cost on manufacturing the hydrogen engine on the cars. According to the requirement to store the hydrogen, the car need to install a plate of expensive mental to ensure the chemical reaction happen in safe. Moreover, the researchs on the replacement of cheaper material is so far unsuccessful.

AnthonySummer

10.23 独立
小滋滋 msc
CECE Anthony
综合
小滋滋 Anthony
楼主你是提交独立吧~

AnthonySummer

辛苦CECE耐心的修改了！经过你们的提醒，我现在非常注意语法和逻辑两大主要问题，做到三思而落笔，写之前想清楚主位逻辑关系，一个句子做到一个主语，不乱用长句反正也写错导致大家都不明白，时态等其他问题已经在深入研究中了，经过你们一点拨也的的确确豁然开朗。不过有些句子实在在短时间里面无法提高，对不住你批改了！O(∩_∩)O谢谢

AnthonySummer

粉红色拼写错误(直接修改了)橘红色语法错误（谓语搭配单复数问题、固定搭配、空格多空了一格、逗号句号用错了）红色其他错误黄色精彩句子蓝色建议修改（个人建议，不对的地方多多指教啊）



10.23 综合

我看到你报名了23号的独立，我们是独立互改，不是综合~

The reading passage points out the problem with the fuel-cell engines and asserts that the hydrogen based fuel would replace the internal-combustion engines. （很简练的概括）The lecturer agreed with the problem mentioned in the reading passage, but she debates that the attitude in reading passage toward hydrogen based engine is too optimistic.



First, despite the truth that petroleum is a finite resource, hydrogen, the lecturer says, is not a best alternative power because it is not easy to get as the reading passage indicated. The use of hydrogen need ( needs ) it to be in pure liquid, which is a complete artificial stuff. In addition, it is hard to produce and store the pure liquid hydrogen.（感觉加个需要低温存储这个有效信息会好很多）

Second, pure liquid hydrogen is not the core to solve the pollution with cars. (the cars pollution 或者 the pollution from cars ) During the production process of hydrogen, it causes a higher amount of pollution than the same size of petroleum using on the cars. Therefore, it is inapplicable to used ( use ) hydrogen as a way to solve car pollutions. (这里就对的，感觉你时间一少就容易出错）

Third, the lecturer mentions, it requires a high cost on manufacturing the hydrogen engine on the cars. According to the requirement to store the hydrogen, the car need to install a plate of expensive mental to ensure the chemical reaction happen in safe.（原文是说Without the platinum components in the engine, the hydrogen doesn’t undergo the chemical reaction that produces the electricity to power the automobile，是无法进行反应，不是不安全） Moreover, the researchs on the replacement of cheaper material is so far unsuccessful.

对听力原文的有些信息漏听或者听错了。整体结构很好，稍微有拼写和语法错误，概括的非常简洁有效，有很大的提升空间。加油吧！