还有20天~！沈小面不要一直面~~~！求狠拍!

vivian873921

加油~！！9.23~
天天写作文！克服拖延症~！

vivian873921

9.2 : It is better to relax by a movie or reading a book than doing physical exercise. Do you agree?

In modern society, the pace of modern life has been increasingly quick. People have to struggle to find their position in their lives, which means they will have a strong feeling of pressure. How will they deal with that? In which way they choose to relax? Well, some of them point that watching movie or reading a book is better than doing physical exercise. And I totally agree with them.

Relaxing by a movie or reading a book is a more effective way to help people get away from the pressure work life. If people watch an interesting movie or a book, all their attention will be on the plot or the story. They will imagine how the story develops and what the ending will be like. They will be so interested in it and have no time to think anything about your work, such as whether the project will be completed on time, or if the solutions they came up with are effective.

Another advantage of relaxing by a movie or reading a book is that they will not affected by the weather conditions and more safe. When it rains, they cannot have physical exercise outdoors, such as hiking, running or riding. But they can still stay in home and watch a movie or read a book.  In addition, they will not get hurt. According to Jilin Daily, a newspaper, 17 percent of people get hurt during physical exercise. It is really bad that they get hurt and cause the company loss profit. The boss will certainly get angry.

Last but not the least, watching a movie or reading a book helps people develop their skills as the same time they relax. There are a large amount of book or movies they can choose. If they want to improve their social ability, they can read a book or a movie on how to social with other, such as how to be generous, how to show kindness to coworkers. Relaxing doesn’t mean doing something meaningless, they can improve themselves in order to be more successful.

Obviously, all analysis supports my idea that relaxing by a movie or reading a book is better. Therefore, it is strongly recommended that people should relax themselves by reading a book or watching a movie.
写的时候比较困惑~一段里面写两个小的好处，A+1，A+2可不可以啊~ 第二段里面就写了两个小的优点~以为一个优点展开木有那么多~
而且这篇大的结构写的就是A的3点大的好处~是不是应该再最后一段写一些对立面B的不好之处~或者好的地方~这样会显得作者分析的比较全面？~

fuzhengrui

9.2 : It is better to relax by a movie or reading a book than doing physical exercise. Do you agree?

In modern society, the pace of modern life has been increasingly quick. People have to struggle to find their position in their lives, which means they will have a strong feeling of pressure. How will they deal with that? In which way they choose to relax? Well, some of them point that watching movie or reading a book is better than doing physical exercise. And I totally agree with them.

Relaxing by a movie or reading a book is a more effective way to help people get away from the pressure work life. If people watch an interesting movie or a book, all their attention will be on the plot or the story. They will imagine how the story develops and what the ending will be like. They will be so interested in it and have no time to think anything about your work, such as whether the project will be completed on time, or if the solutions they came up with are effective.

Another advantage of relaxing by a movie or reading a book is that they will not affected by the weather conditions and more safe. When it rains, they cannot have physical exercise outdoors, such as hiking, running or riding. But they can still stay in home and watch a movie or read a book.  In addition, they will not get hurt. According to Jilin Daily, a newspaper, 17 percent of people get hurt during physical exercise. It is really bad that they get hurt and cause the company loss profit. The boss will certainly get angry.

Last but not the least, watching a movie or reading a book helps people develop their skills as the same time they relax. There are a large amount of book or movies they can choose. If they want to improve their social ability, they can read a book or a movie on how to social with other, such as how to be generous, how to show kindness to coworkers. Relaxing doesn’t mean doing something meaningless, they can improve themselves in order to be more successful.

Obviously, all analysis supports my idea that relaxing by a movie or reading a book is better. Therefore, it is strongly recommended that people should relax themselves by reading a book or watching a movie.
写的时候比较困惑~一段里面写两个小的好处，A+1，A+2可不可以啊~ 第二段里面就写了两个小的优点~以为一个优点展开木有那么多~
而且这篇大的结构写的就是A的3点大的好处~是不是应该再最后一段写一些对立面B的不好之处~或者好的地方~这样会显得作者分析的比较全面？~

-- by 会员 vivian873921 (2012/9/2 17:49:32)

vivian873921

In modern society, the pace of modern life has been increasingly quick. People have to struggle to find their position in their lives, which means they will have a strong feeling of pressure. How will they deal with that? In which way they choose to relax? Well, the majority of people choose to do physical exercise, however other people think watching a movie or reading a book is a better approach. Personally, I agree with the latter.



Relaxing by a movie or reading a book is a more effective way to help people get away from the pressure of work life. If people watch an interesting movie or a book, all their attention will be on the plots or the story. They will imagine how the story develops and what the ending will be like while watching or reading it. They will be so absorbed in it and won't have time thinking anything about their works, for instance, whether the project will be completed on time, or if the solutions they came up with are productive.



Another advantage of relaxing by a movie or reading a book is that they will not affect by the weather conditions and they prevent themselves from injuries.When it rains, they cannot have physical exercises outdoors, for example, hiking, running or riding. But they can still stay in the home and watch a movie or read a book. In addition, they will not get hurt. According to Jilin Daily, a newspaper, 17 percent of people get hurt during physical exercise. It is really bad that they get hurt which causes the loss profit of companies. The boss will certainly get angry.



Last but not the least, watching a movie or reading a book helps people develop their skills at the same time they relax. There is a large amount of books or movies they can choose from. If they want to improve their social ability, they can read a book or a movie on how to socialize with other, such as how to be generous and how to show kindness to coworkers. Relaxing doesn't mean doing something meaningless. They can improve themselves in order to be more productive.



Obviously, all analysis supports my idea that relaxing with a movie or a book is better. Therefore, it is strongly recommended that people should relax themselves by reading a book or watching a movie.


弱弱的问了一下~是不是写的很烂......要肿么提高呢~貌似词汇太低级了~句子也不好~啊~~~~~~~~




Thank you ~!辛苦的给我改了一下~嘿嘿~

vivian873921

fuzhengrui

In modern society, the pace of modern life has been increasingly quick. People have to struggle to find their position in their lives, which means they will have a strong feeling of pressure. How will they deal with that? In which way they choose to relax? Well, the majority of people choose to do physical exercise, however other people think watching a movie or reading a book is a better approach. Personally, I agree with the latter.



Relaxing by a movie or reading a book is a more effective way to help people get away from the pressure of work life. If people watch an interesting movie or a book, all their attention will be on the plots or the story. They will imagine how the story develops and what the ending will be like while watching or reading it. They will be so absorbed in it and won't have time thinking anything about their works, for instance, whether the project will be completed on time, or if the solutions they came up with are productive.



Another advantage of relaxing by a movie or reading a book is that they will not affect by the weather conditions and they prevent themselves from injuries.When it rains, they cannot have physical exercises outdoors, for example, hiking, running or riding. But they can still stay in the home and watch a movie or read a book. In addition, they will not get hurt. According to Jilin Daily, a newspaper, 17 percent of people get hurt during physical exercise. It is really bad that they get hurt which causes the loss profit of companies. The boss will certainly get angry.



Last but not the least, watching a movie or reading a book helps people develop their skills at the same time they relax. There is a large amount of books or movies they can choose from. If they want to improve their social ability, they can read a book or a movie on how to socialize with other, such as how to be generous and how to show kindness to coworkers. Relaxing doesn't mean doing something meaningless. They can improve themselves in order to be more productive.



Obviously, all analysis supports my idea that relaxing with a movie or a book is better. Therefore, it is strongly recommended that people should relax themselves by reading a book or watching a movie.


弱弱的问了一下~是不是写的很烂......要肿么提高呢~貌似词汇太低级了~句子也不好~啊~~~~~~~~




Thank you ~!辛苦的给我改了一下~嘿嘿~

-- by 会员 vivian873921 (2012/9/2 20:39:29)

vivian873921

关于这个~
If people watch an interesting movie or read a book, all their attention will be on the plots or the story(情节和故事不应该是并列的。应该是从属). They will imagine how the story develops（故事的发展一般是演出来的，不用去幻想） and what the ending will be like.

改成了这个样子If people watch an interesting movie or a book, all their attention will be on the plots or the story. They will imagine how the story develops and what the ending will be like while watching or reading it. 我想说的意思是~他们在看书看电视的时候，回想以后的结局是神马样子的。就是看到一半的时候猜故事的结局。

Yeeisstrong

Yeeisstrong

9.2 : It is better to relax by a movie or reading a book than doing physical exercise. Do you agree?

In modern society, the pace of modern life has been increasingly quick. People have to struggle to find their position in their lives, which means they will have a strong feeling of pressure. How will they deal with that? In which way they choose to relax? Well, some of them point that watching a movie or reading a book is better than doing physical exercise. And I totally agree with them.

Relaxing by a movie or reading a book is a more effective way to help people get away from the pressure work life. If people watch an interesting movie or read a book, all their attention will be on the plot or the story. They will imagine how the story develops and what the ending will be like. They will be so interested in it and have no time to think anything about your (their) work, such as whether the project will be completed on time, or if the solutions they came up with are effective.

Another advantage of relaxing by a movie or reading a book is that they will not affected by the weather conditions butwill be safe. When it rains, they cannot have physical exercise outdoors, such as hiking, running or riding. But they can still stay in home and watch a movie or read a book. In addition, they will not get hurt. According to Jilin Daily, a newspaper, 17 percent of people get hurt during physical exercise. It is really bad that they get hurt and cause the company loss profit. The boss will certainly get angry.

Last but not the least, watching a movie or reading a book helps people develop their skills as (at) the same time they relax. There are a large amount of books or movies they can choose. If they want to improve their social ability, they can read a book or watch a movie on how to social(along) with others, such as how to be generous, how to show kindness to coworkers. Relaxing doesn’t mean doing something meaningless, they can improve themselves in order to be more successful.

Obviously, all analysis supports my idea that relaxing by a movie or reading a book is better. Therefore, it is strongly recommended that people should relax themselves by reading a book or watching a movie.



我的水平比较差，把我觉得要改的地方改掉了，FU 童鞋我觉得改的更好，水平挺高的，不过我也得完成我的任务。文章总体逻辑清晰，结构不错。我觉得应该看看老美185，我正在看呢，学习学习~

vivian873921

9.3: Do you agree that it is better to spend money on traveling and vocation than save money for the future.



文章的思路：Agree. Spend money on traveling and vocation.

A+1: Fun. ( enrich our lives; make new friends; learn from the journey).

A+2: relax, release, refresh, get away from troublesome and pressure.

A-1： Cost money, but we can find some economical ways. At the same time we can save little money for the future.



写作的目标：！！！！要写满450W。要有好多好多的例子！！！要有好多好多的倒装句！！！强调句！！！好多好多的看起来好牛叉的词汇！！！要有好多好多多变的句型！！！然后然后！！分论点要各种高效的SUPPORT自己的总论点呢~！fighting~！~\(≧▽≦)/~













Have you ever been to the Greet Wall in the capital of China, Beijing? Have you ever walked along the West Lake in Hangzhou City and felt the breeze? Have you ever seen the extraordinary scenery of Da Li? If you have never had such experiences, you would never know how much fun traveling and vocation could bring you. (3句排比，来表明自己的观点。Spend money on traveling and vocation.)



Firstly, it is traveling and vocation that can bring us a lot of fun. (尝试用了一下强调句，想强调的是traveling and vocation) Although it will cost us some money, we gain a lot of happiness and interesting experiences on the vocation. On the summer vocation of my freshmen year, I traveled to Beidai He, the most beautiful scenery I have ever seen. It was the first time I saw the beautiful sea which is clear, blue and endless. I felt myself so small when walked along the beach. At the night, my friends and I played games, talked jokes, ate seafood at the beach. It was really fun and I will never forget these memories. Traveling gives us an opportunity to meet friends and enhance our friendship as the same time as we have fun.(引用了一下自己的经历)



Secondly, we can relax, and refresh ourselves by traveling. In modern society, we are always in a situation which has a strong pressure. We should find an effective way to relax, had let our body and mind have a rest. We can easily get away from the troublesome and bad feelings, because we are not at home and being a new place where few people know us. Breathing the cold and fresh air also can help us become calm. After a short time break, we can transfer our stress to energy, which means we can work or study more effectively when we get back to companies or schools.



Last but not least, there are still some disadvantages of spending money on traveling and vocations. For instance, we could get hurt or have incidents during the journey. According to the newspaper named China Daily, 13 percent of the travelers get hurt during traveling. （引用了一下数据）However, we can be more careful to prevent ourselves from getting injuries. In addition, spending money on traveling and vocations doesn’t mean spend all the money on them.



From what has been discussed above, I could safely draw the conclusion that spending money on traveling and vocations is better.