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[求助]TWE140,请求大家讨论这个

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楼主
发表于 2004-10-26 13:52:00 | 只看该作者

[求助]TWE140,请求大家讨论这个

140 Some items (such as clothes or furniture) can be made by hand or by machine. Which do you prefer items made by hand or items made by machine? Use reasons and specific examples to explain your choice.





Basically, the production of items can be divided into two groups: one is made by hand and the other is made by machine. Some people always ask which one is better, by hand or by machine? For me, both of them have advantages and disadvantages.



Items made by hand are delicate and beautiful in an appearance. For example, most of people like Chinese silk made by hand. The reason is that not only the silk is too delicate to use machine to sew, but also a good piece of hand-made silk will make customers feel it likes a master piece in a degree. In addition, when hand-makers do their jobs, they usually devote more energy and time in them, which allows the possibility of pursuing the accuracy to come true. As we know, there still have many ladies to prefer the tailor-made clothes. Why? The reason is very simple because they think only tailors can meet their needs. We can imagine after the tailor sews the piece stitch by


stitch, how it is marvelous to be!



On the other hand, items made by machine have been widely accepted around the world because of the introduction of the machine. It is highly appraised of fastness and durability. Actually, these two characteristics are basic criterion for products. Suppose that the washing machine is out of work only after one-month use, I believe a user definitely feels angry and irritating about the bad quality of this washing machine. In some degrees, we can make sure of the quality made by machine. Furthermore, by machine, people can save time. I don't believer any manufacturers will make furniture by hand at most time. Although this does happen in some cases, they are very


special. Furniture made by machine can be sold to customers as soon as possible, which increases company's profit through fast moving.



However, I agree some advantages about items made by hand and made by machine, there are still have some disadvantages we cannot ignore as well. For items made by hand, it usually takes a quite long time to finish and the cost is accompanied to be very high; for items made by machine, it sometimes is quite rough and not ideal as what users expect.



In view of advantages and disadvantages I mentioned above, I suggest we should see what items we are going to buy first, then decide to choose them made by hand or by machine. If I were a customer, I would prefer choosing clothes made by hand and some furniture by machine. In a short, it is unwise to say which one is better in an arbitrary way.



沙发
发表于 2004-10-27 08:43:00 | 只看该作者

没有时间细改,大概说一说.

总体来说还是不错,结构完整,表达也基本达意.驾驭句子有一定能力.

写中立观点的题目是可以的,发挥好容易出彩.但掌握不好容易逻辑混乱,或者论证失衡.文章第二段论述手工制品的优点还是很充分的.但第三段在论述机器制品的优点时,条理开始变得不清晰起来.如常"Suppose that the washing machine is out of work only after one-month use, I believe a user definitely feels angry and irritating about the bad quality of this washing machine."看不出是说明的什么.而且在此句以后的部分,语句之间关系断裂.一句说完,未经任何展开,又匆忙说下一句.

在说到两种的缺点时,可能是因为时间不够,没有充分论证,使得文章头重脚轻.从而也使结论有些牵强.

文中还是有一些基本的语法错位和用法错误.如:是in appearance不是in an appearance. "The reason is very simple because they think only tailors can meet their needs". "裁缝能满足她们的需要"不是"原因很简单"的原因.再说,是裁缝做的衣服(the tailors' work)满足她们的需要,不是裁缝们自己.很容易让人想歪啊!

后面还有些语法错误,自己看看吧.另外,代词指代不清的问题也要注意.

建议:在今后的练习里,不要试图面面俱到.TWE作文不是准备辩论稿,不用怕别人说你的理由是不是偏颇.哪怕是很PERSONAL的理由你把它阐述清楚就行.不要各种论点都想说一下,都没有说清楚.

3.5 - 4

板凳
 楼主| 发表于 2004-10-27 15:59:00 | 只看该作者

谢谢FF GG的精彩点评~

你的意见对我们很宝贵~

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