GWinner的写作作业^^求一路进步! 求各位NN前辈们不吝拍砖赐教!!

GWinner

蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结红色为错误

Whether parents should help their children finish their home work is relatively a subject of discussion as with parents’ help children would get a higher grade of their work whereas the help can also weaken children’s ability to be independent. To agree or disagree with the statement is a matter of balancing between its pros and cons. However, if one considers the following reasons, he or she might agree with the title statement as I do.

To begin with, I have to admit that it might be true that parents can know their children better about what and how they are learning by helping them with their work. Checking home works, for example, can enable parents to find out how their child’s handwriting is and whether they need to buy child some exercise books to improve their writing. Besides, they can also point out some mistakes form child’s work and talk with their child about them, by which parents can locate the problems and difficulties of child’s learning and help solve (these questions) in time.

However, helps of homework may attribute to solve the present problems, but does little to solve future ones. In the first place, if children get used to asking their parents for help of their work, they may become weak of thinking and solving problems independently, which is harmful to their absorb of new knowledge, and further, their mental growth. Take the children of one of my older sisters for example. Because the husband of my sister always sits next to their son when he is doing home works, their son has never finished works by himself. The result is easily to imagine. As this boy can not get help form his father during examinations, the results of his exams are surprisingly poor, which are striking contrast with his home work grade.(其实这个论点和例子结合的不是很好)

What’s more, if children get used to seek for help from their parents, their ability of independence would be limited. Many years later, they may grow to be people who are always hesitating in making decision without others’ suggestion and persuasion. Take an exaggerate story for example. There is a child whose mother helps him peel eggs every time. When he grows up and leaves his mother to a removed place, he find that eggs there are all hard and he does not know how to eat them! This example might be too exaggerated to be realistic. However, every child will leave their parents one day. In order to ensure that they can take care of themselves, parents should do some thing, actually avoid to do some thing, to cultivate their children’s ability of thinking alone. Rejecting to help with their home work might be a good start.

Taking all these factors that have been discussed above, I am fully convinced that parents should refute to provide any help when their children are doing school works. Further, it seems highly advisable for parents to encourage children to finish those works by themselves and pay attention to cultivate the independence from childhood.

楼主的作文已经很不错，接下来进一步的改进就好了额。另外就是例子要丰富一些，具体一些。

-- by 会员 kchszy061ban (2012/8/4 18:13:03)

表示想例子无力阿> <而且我一描述例子就各种啰嗦!!! 巴拉巴拉写一大堆还说不清楚...看来需要练习叙事能力了> <~~

GWinner

8.4 综合 TPO 2

感觉这篇听力听得不是特别清楚...感觉最后他说的呼噜呼噜就过去了.....大家都是怎么记笔记的呢> <
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The lecture and the reading passage give contradictory opinions on whether assembling a group of people into a team can really benefit the company when approaching certain new project. Rejecting what the author suggests, the lecturer lists three points as the disadvantages of group working.



The professor first points out a surprising finding of the research mentioned in the lecture that all the team members did not try their best to contribute at all. The reasons of this kind of confusing behavior is that, since the team will be rewarded or criticized as a whole, those talented and skilled members’ willing to work hard is weakened because their own name will not be made specially when being rewarded. Getting the reward same with other members who did not contribute that much can make them feel unfair.



The author’s demonstration that the team will lead to a more quickly work is refused by the professor too. As more people will enlarge the number of suggestions, more meetings and discussions are required to analysis and judging each of these proposals. Therefore, the professor believes that working in a team will take a long time for all the members to reach consensus and decrease the efficiency.



At last, the professor contradicts the possibility of the creative solution and the chance for members to “shine”. Researchers in the experiment found that the creative ideas are usually ignored. Once the creative opinion is proposed, since the creativity always related to a larger potential to fail and blame for the failure of the solution will be placed on all members, the influencers of the team would warn the team about its risk, which finally make all the members ignore the opinion. The chance for individuals to “shine” is lost at the same time.

GWinner

8.4 独立
For future career success, is relate well to other people more important than studying hard at school?

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
思路:

[第一段:支持]很少有那种不需要接触外界的工作, 很多工作都需要与人接触, 这一能力不是从书本中可以学到的
          E.g. salesman
[第二段:支持]团队协作的重要性被越来越多的强调, 不会团队合作的人没有前途
              E.g. 名校毕业,不会与人合作,得不到晋升
[第三段:让步]不是说努力学习不重要, 机会只给有准备的人  
              E.g. 如果技术和知识不过硬, 那么在团队中提不出有建设性的意见, 只能打酱油
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Whether the ability to deal with social interaction or a higher grade in school should be considered a much more decisive factor when judging the potential of a person’s success in career has became a relative subject of discussion. The increasingly essential role of teamwork played in the office and the basic role of the working skills make it difficult for people to select the winner between the two. However, if one considers the following reasons, he or she might agree with the title statement as I do.

At the very beginning, nobody can deny the trend that more and more working positions began to require the employee to equip a strong ability to contact with people. That is, you can hardly to find any job which purely requests the employee to do researches in the close-door environment. Equipping only with the knowledge learned in the universities and a high grade is no longer enough for a person to reach the standard of an employer and his or her job. Take salesmen for example. If a person refused to communicate with the outside world and feel shame to express his eager about the target selling product, knowledge from book can not help him to sell a single product. Even if he can get an A+ in the final examination, he is not the right employee that the company that majors in promotion wants. Not knowing the rule of social interaction can be a huge obstacle on a person’s career road.

The second reason, which can act as a critical support for the title statement, is about teamwork. In the contemporary society, the significance of teamwork can not be emphasized more. Encouraging employees to work in team can bring the company not only a higher efficiency but also a harmonious working atmosphere and a peaceful company culture. To satisfy the demand of employment market, people should equip themselves with the qualities that the teamwork requires—modesty, loyalty, and unity, all of which, obviously, can not be acquired from books and classroom. The experience of one of my classmates can best illustrate this point. My classmate was graduated from one top university. So when he first worked in a company, he always looked down his workmates and show little respect to them. During the teamwork, he usually acted as a conductor and never did any heavy work. Finally, all of his team members felt unhappy and began to exclude him out of the working discussion. His superior also rejected to provide him a promotion.

Last but not the least, although the importance of social interaction is highly emphasized in the early discussion, it do not means that studying hard is useless and is not worth any attention. There is a saying goes that “opportunities are always for those who are well prepared.” Without absorbing the knowledge well and the working skills guaranteed, a person can not propose any useful idea and thereby can only act as a copycat in a group with his suggestion never accepted.

Taking into account all the factors discussed above, I am fully convinced that, with the importance of studying hard maintained, one’s ability of social interaction worth equally attention. Consequently, it is highly advisable for university students to divide some time and energy on the cultivation of their skills of intercourse in order to face the increasingly fierce competition in employment market confidently.

ykhjy

8.4 综合 TPO 2

感觉这篇听力听得不是特别清楚...感觉最后他说的呼噜呼噜就过去了.....大家都是怎么记笔记的呢> <【我觉得最好能形成一些自己看得懂的符号 简化笔记把】
蓝色模版，黄色需修改，红色修改，绿色总结
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
The lecture and the reading passage give contradictory opinions on whether assembling a group of people into a team can really benefit the company when approaching certain new project. Rejecting what the author suggests, the lecturer lists three points as the disadvantages of group working.【点明了主题，说明了lecture与reading passage 的对立关系，达到目的了】



The professor first points out a surprising finding of the research mentioned in the lecture that all the team members did not try their best to contribute at all. The reasons of this kind of confusing behavior is that, since the team will be rewarded or criticized as a whole, those talented and skilled members’【who are】 willing to work hard is【are】 weakened because their own name will not be made specially when being rewarded. Getting the 【same】 reward same with【as？】 other members who did not contribute that【so】 much can make them feel unfair.【这段观点好像不怎么明确，过于细节，而且最好点明与passage里的观点相对】



The author’s demonstration that the team will lead to a more quickly work is refused by the professor too. As more people will enlarge the number of suggestions, more meetings and discussions are required to analysis and judging each of these proposals. Therefore, the professor believes that working in a team will take a long time for all the members to reach consensus and decrease the efficiency.【这段观点明确了，但是细节方面好像有点单薄，建议lz】



At last, the professor contradicts the possibility of the creative solution and the chance for members to “shine”【这里是不是有俩point】 . Researchers in the experiment found that the creative ideas are usually ignored. Once the creative opinion is proposed, since the creativity always related to a larger potential to fail and blame for the failure of the solution will be placed on all members, the influencers of the team would warn the team about its risk, which finally makes all the members ignore the opinion. The chance for individuals to “shine” is lost at the same time【个人觉得这句话是支持另一个point——team members are not always rewarded】.【我觉得细节是有了，但是最好概括一下，突出反对文章中的point】
【我对这篇文章很头大，个人意见：这篇文章三个point：1.work speed 2. creative solutions not always come 3.team members are not always rewarded】

eva0401

8.4 独立
For future career success, is relate well to other people more important than studying hard at school?


思路:

[第一段:支持]很少有那种不需要接触外界的工作, 很多工作都需要与人接触, 这一能力不是从书本中可以学到的
         E.g. salesman
[第二段:支持]团队协作的重要性被越来越多的强调, 不会团队合作的人没有前途
             E.g. 名校毕业,不会与人合作,得不到晋升
[第三段:让步]不是说努力学习不重要, 机会只给有准备的人
             E.g. 如果技术和知识不过硬, 那么在团队中提不出有建设性的意见, 只能打酱油
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  Whether the ability to deal with social interaction or a higher grade in school should be considered a much more decisive factor when judging the potential of a person’s success in career has became a relative subject of discussion. The increasingly essential role of teamwork played in the office and the basic role of the working skills make it difficult for people to select the winner between the two. However, if one considers the following reasons, he or she might agree with the title statement as I do.
楼主第一段用句好好呀 直接点名主题而且句子好顺畅。
  At the very beginning, nobody can deny the trend that more and more working positions began to require the employee to equip a strong ability to contact with people. That is, (好喜欢这种写法，直接换一句表达更准确的意思)you can hardly to find any job which purely requests the employee to do researches in the close-door environment. Equipping (前面用了equip 这里可以换一个次 arming 我个人认为哈)only with the knowledge learned in the universities and a high grade is no longer enough for a person to reach the standard of an employer and his or her job. Take salesmen for example. If a person refused to communicate with the outside world and feel shame to express his eager about the target selling product, knowledge from book can not help him to sell a single product. Even if he can get an in the final examination, he is not the right employee that the company that majors in promotion wants. Not knowing the rule of social interaction can be a huge obstacle on a person’s career road.

   The second reason, which can act as a critical support for the title statement, is about teamwork. In the contemporary society, the significance of teamwork can not be emphasized more. 这个论证感觉很有力量。Encouraging employees to work in team can bring the company not only a higher efficiency but also a harmonious working atmosphere and a peaceful company culture. To satisfy the demand of employment market, people should equip themselves with the qualities that the teamwork requires—modesty, loyalty, and unity, all of which, obviously, can not be acquired from books and classroom. The experience of one of my classmates can best illustrate this point. My classmate was graduated from one top university. So when he first worked in a company, he always looked down his workmates and show little respect to them. During the teamwork, he usually acted as a conductor and never did any heavy work. Finally, all of his team members felt unhappy and began to exclude him out of the working discussion. His superior also rejected to provide him a promotion.
   Last but not the least, although the importance of social interaction is highly emphasized in the early discussion, it do not means that studying hard is useless and is not worth any attention. There is a saying goes that “opportunities are always for those who are well prepared.” Without absorbing the knowledge well and the working skills guaranteed, a person can not propose any useful idea and thereby can only act as a copycat in a group with his suggestion never accepted.楼主用最后一段让步顺便结尾。我是分开些两段，因为怕写错自己的观点。有时候会昏。
楼主我仔细检查，请原谅我第二次写toefl作文 ，实在能力有限，但是说实话，我觉得楼主你写的好好啊，特别是句子，逻辑也很清晰，膜拜啊。，向你学习。楼主只需要再加深例子，这也是哦我们大家的问题。

GWinner

8.4 综合 TPO 2

感觉这篇听力听得不是特别清楚...感觉最后他说的呼噜呼噜就过去了.....大家都是怎么记笔记的呢> <【我觉得最好能形成一些自己看得懂的符号 简化笔记把】
蓝色模版，黄色需修改，红色修改，绿色总结
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
The lecture and the reading passage give contradictory opinions on whether assembling a group of people into a team can really benefit the company when approaching certain new project. Rejecting what the author suggests, the lecturer lists three points as the disadvantages of group working.【点明了主题，说明了lecture与reading passage 的对立关系，达到目的了】



The professor first points out a surprising finding of the research mentioned in the lecture that all the team members did not try their best to contribute at all. The reasons of this kind of confusing behavior is that, since the team will be rewarded or criticized as a whole, those talented and skilled members’【who are】 willing to work hardis【are】 weakened because their own name will not be made specially when being rewarded. Getting the 【same】 reward samewith【as？】 other members who did not contribute that【so】 much can make them feel unfair.【这段观点好像不怎么明确，过于细节，而且最好点明与passage里的观点相对】



The author’s demonstration that the team will lead to a more quickly work is refused by the professor too. As more people will enlarge the number of suggestions, more meetings and discussions are required to analysis and judging each of these proposals. Therefore, the professor believes that working in a team will take a long time for all the members to reach consensus and decrease the efficiency.【这段观点明确了，但是细节方面好像有点单薄，建议lz】



At last, the professor contradicts the possibility of the creative solution and the chance for members to “shine”【这里是不是有俩point】. Researchers in the experiment found that the creative ideas are usually ignored. Once the creative opinion is proposed, since the creativity always related to a larger potential to fail and blame for the failure of the solution will be placed on all members, the influencers of the team would warn the team about its risk, which finally makes all the members ignore the opinion. The chance for individuals to “shine” is lost at the same time【个人觉得这句话是支持另一个point——team members are not always rewarded】.【我觉得细节是有了，但是最好概括一下，突出反对文章中的point】
【我对这篇文章很头大，个人意见：这篇文章三个point：1.work speed 2. creative solutions not always come 3.team members are not always rewarded】

-- by 会员 ykhjy (2012/8/5 21:42:27)

嗯嗯这篇文章我也感觉特别乱！刚开始看Reading部分的时候那三个论点和lecture里面的貌似不太match> <....于是之后就各种YY.......

你这么一捋那三个points感觉清楚多了 按你那个思路应该没错！！

听力还需提高阿T T

P.S. 看了某大神贴的建议 我去看了看OG上的综合写作范文 发现其实author的观点在作文中甚至可以完全不提 只要把professor的观点+细节都写明白就OK了~虽然这样看起来有点悬悬的 不过毕竟是ETS的范文 也可以作为一个思路咱们参考一下嘿~

加油！！！

GWinner

8.4 独立
For future career success, is relate well to other people more important than studying hard at school?


思路:

[第一段:支持]很少有那种不需要接触外界的工作, 很多工作都需要与人接触, 这一能力不是从书本中可以学到的
         E.g. salesman
[第二段:支持]团队协作的重要性被越来越多的强调, 不会团队合作的人没有前途
             E.g. 名校毕业,不会与人合作,得不到晋升
[第三段:让步]不是说努力学习不重要, 机会只给有准备的人
             E.g. 如果技术和知识不过硬, 那么在团队中提不出有建设性的意见, 只能打酱油
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Whether the ability to deal with social interaction or a higher grade in school should be considered a much more decisive factor when judging the potential of a person’s success in career has became a relative subject of discussion. The increasingly essential role of teamwork played in the office and the basic role of the working skills make it difficult for people to select the winner between the two. However, if one considers the following reasons, he or she might agree with the title statement as I do.
楼主第一段用句好好呀 直接点名主题而且句子好顺畅。
  At the very beginning, nobody can deny the trend that more and more working positions began to require the employee to equip a strong ability to contact with people. That is, (好喜欢这种写法，直接换一句表达更准确的意思)you can hardly to find any job which purely requests the employee to do researches in the close-door environment. Equipping (前面用了equip 这里可以换一个次 arming 我个人认为哈)only with the knowledge learned in the universities and a high grade is no longer enough for a person to reach the standard of an employer and his or her job. Take salesmen for example. If a person refused to communicate with the outside world and feel shame to express his eager about the target selling product, knowledge from book can not help him to sell a single product. Even if he can get an in the final examination, he is not the right employee that the company that majors in promotion wants. Not knowing the rule of social interaction can be a huge obstacle on a person’s career road.

   The second reason, which can act as a critical support for the title statement, is about teamwork. In the contemporary society, the significance of teamwork can not be emphasized more. 这个论证感觉很有力量。Encouraging employees to work in team can bring the company not only a higher efficiency but also a harmonious working atmosphere and a peaceful company culture. To satisfy the demand of employment market, people should equip themselves with the qualities that the teamwork requires—modesty, loyalty, and unity, all of which, obviously, can not be acquired from books and classroom. The experience of one of my classmates can best illustrate this point. My classmate was graduated from one top university. So when he first worked in a company, he always looked down his workmates and show little respect to them. During the teamwork, he usually acted as a conductor and never did any heavy work. Finally, all of his team members felt unhappy and began to exclude him out of the working discussion. His superior also rejected to provide him a promotion.
   Last but not the least, although the importance of social interaction is highly emphasized in the early discussion, it do not means that studying hard is useless and is not worth any attention. There is a saying goes that “opportunities are always for those who are well prepared.” Without absorbing the knowledge well and the working skills guaranteed, a person can not propose any useful idea and thereby can only act as a copycat in a group with his suggestion never accepted.楼主用最后一段让步顺便结尾。我是分开些两段，因为怕写错自己的观点。有时候会昏。
楼主我仔细检查，请原谅我第二次写toefl作文 ，实在能力有限，但是说实话，我觉得楼主你写的好好啊，特别是句子，逻辑也很清晰，膜拜啊。，向你学习。楼主只需要再加深例子，这也是哦我们大家的问题。

-- by 会员 eva0401 (2012/8/5 22:30:17)

我也是能力有限阿 各种chinglish各种例子胡编乱造> <可能作文就是一个积累的过程吧~~多看看一些好词好句 熟悉一些华丽词句的运用 积累一定会爆发滴!! 我们都加油哦~~~

GWinner

好几天没写 手都生了...有些地方参照了CD里面一个大牛的写法~看大牛作文真是受益良多!

8.7 独立
In order to solve the problems of the present and the future, people should review the past.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
思路:
[第一段:支持] 可以直接运用原来的方法 提高办事效率
                       E.g. 公司遇到发展瓶颈, 借鉴其他遇到过类似问题的公司 最终用别人的方法解决了自己的问题
[第二段:支持] 就算不能直接运用,也可以从中看Experience
                       E.g. Edison发明灯泡 其成功是基于对之前无数次失败的总结和反思
[第三段:让步] 只看过去可能会对思维产生限制,跟不上发展-->回归:过去只是基础和框架,就如同盖房子, 基础之上, 砖瓦仍应该填的是新的东西
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Whether people should consider previous solutions when facing present or future problems has became a relatively subject of discussion. The precious experience contained in the past and the worry of making same mistake repeatedly makes people hard to decide which one holes more weight. However, if one considers the following reasons, he or she might agree with the title statement as I do.

At the very beginning, no one can deny the fact that tons of solutions that we have used to solve problems successfully in the past can act as guiders who can clear our direction, point out our weakness, and conduct us towards the right destination in the most direct way. What people did in the past might also work in the same way and, thereby, save us in the similar present or future situation. The example of the company that I have been an internship in perfectly matches this point. In the last few years, that company met its development bottleneck and found it difficult to chase a new improvement. Knowing that many other companies had suffered the similar puzzle before, the manager decided to interview the leaders of those companies and learn their way to escape from the limitation. Finally, the company broke its bottleneck successfully by undertaking what it has been learned from those senior companies.

Some people may question that not all solutions in the past led to a satisfying result. However, seeing only those solutions that can be used directly, those people fails to consider another significant benefit that can be brought from reviewing the past—the experience. Even if what the older generations did only resulted in a failure, the experience of the failure can also teach us a lesson and warn us to avoid the same kind of error in the future. Take the Edison, the famous inventor of bulbs, for example. If Edison had never experienced the bitter of the hundreds of times failing, he would never taste the sweet of the final success, because the final lighting of the bulb is actually based on the analysis, thinking and summary of the past failure. What we can acquire from mistakes is another special kind of wealth, which can guide us to refine and finally get what we want.

Granted, as technology is developing in an amazing speed, only considering the past would prevent us from keeping pace with the contemporary society and limit our creativity as well. However, reviewing the past do not equal to simply copying the old things without thinking. The role of the past is the beginning and foundation of our thinking. Like building architecture, after using the guide of the old example as the ground and frame, what should be used when building the upper structure are the most advanced techniques and the newest creativities.

Taking into account all the factors discussed above, I am fully convincing that reviewing the past is a necessary process when solving the present and future problems. Consequently, if there is anyone who still wonders whether the past cases should be considered useless, who still doubts the importance of experience, and who still does not understand the way to combine the past, the present and the future, this passage is my answer.

GWinner

8.7 综合 TPO5
这篇听力的第二点没听懂...求听力记笔记建议T T
The lecture and the reading passage give contradictory opinions on how the Chaco structure, which is called the “great houses” found in American Southwest, were used. The author provides three theories that indicate the possible usage of the building, which, however, are rejected respectively by the professor in the lecture.

The professor casts serious doubt on the first theory, which states that Chaco structure was purely residential. The building’s inside does not go the same way as it seems from outside and the mismatch is on the fire place. The lecturer demonstrates that there were not enough fire places for hundreds of people to cook their food, since the very small number of the fire place and the number of rooms that are enough for more tan 100 families to live do not match each other.

The professor secondly states that not enough evidence can be used to support that the place is used to store food supplies either. The reason is lied on the absence of remain of big maize containers on the excavations. Besides, the fact that the excavation is not covered by maize containers also makes the professor doubt about the truth of the second theory.

The author’s third theory, which regards Chaco structure to be ceremonial centers, does not please the professor either. The first reason held by the professor is that beside the broken pots, many other building materials, such sand and stones, were also found in the place. Therefore, as the pots frictions could be left by meals, all of these left materials might be the regular trash instead of the evidence of ceremonial centers.

hjl80959

蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结红色为错误

Whether people should consider previous solutions when facing present or future problems has became (过去分词还是become) a relatively subject of discussion. The precious experience contained in the past (多余与previous重复) and the worry of making same mistake repeatedly makes people hard to decide which one holes (什么意思？) more weight. However, if one considers the following reasons, he or she might agree with the title statement as I do.
开头算是一刀切如了，不过总感觉还是没什么东西，貌似是在堆砌一些东西，也可能是由于同样的词用的还多次了光这一段consider出现两次

At the very beginning, no one can deny（undeniably 简洁明了） the fact that tons of solutions that we have used to solve problems successfully in the past(修饰语太长了，让人读了喘不过气来同时也并不能说明什么问题 tons of successful solutions 不是挺好的) can act as guiders who can clear (illuminate) our direction, point out our weakness, and conduct(lead) us towards the right destination in the most direct way.（三个并列用的不错） What people did in the past might also work in the same way and, thereby, save us in the similar present or future situation. The example of the company that I have been an internship in perfectly matches this point. In the last few years, that company met its development bottleneck and found it difficult to chase a new improvement. Knowing that many other companies had suffered the similar puzzle before, the manager decided to interview the leaders of those companies and learn their （existed or used）way to escape from the limitation. （例子不错，但是别忘了突出是review the past）Finally, the company broke its bottleneck successfully by undertaking what it has been learned from those senior companies.

Some people may question that not all solutions in the past led to a satisfying result. However, seeing only those solutions that can be used directly, those people fails to consider another significant benefit that can be brought from reviewing the past—the experience. （这句话不知道要表达什么）Even if what the older generations （predecessors）did only resulted in a failure (这个result也很多次了吧 ended with), the experience of the failure can also teach us a lesson and warn us to avoid the same kind of error in the future. Take the Edison, the famous inventor of bulbs,（其实爱迪生是改进了灯丝lamp filament） for example. If Edison had never experienced the bitter of the hundreds of times failing, he would never taste the sweet of the final success, because the final lighting of the bulb is actually based on the analysis, thinking and summary of the past failure. What we can acquire from mistakes is another special kind of wealth, which can guide us to refine and finally get what we want.

Granted, as technology is developing in an amazing speed, only considering the past would prevent us from keeping pace with the contemporary society (prevent from意思不确切为什么考虑历史会阻止我们吧，只能mere retrospect of the history cannot make us to keep up with the rapid social pace)and limit our creativity as well. However, reviewing the past do not equal to simply copying the old things without thinking. The role of the past is the beginning and foundation of our thinking (the past sets the foundation for our thinking). Like building architecture, after using the guide of the old example as the ground and frame, what should be used when building the upper structure are the most advanced techniques and the newest creativities.

Taking into account all the factors discussed above, I am fully convincing that reviewing the past is a necessary process when solving the present and future problems. Consequently, if there is anyone who still wonders whether the past cases should be considered useless(whether 完全可以去掉), who still doubts the importance of experience, and who still does not understand the way to combine the past, the present and the future, this passage is my answer.



Tips

不知道是不是在半个小时打出520+的字的，如果是我得先表扬一下但问题同样出现了，其实这些字很多都是重读和多余的从句变化，反而写的文章不够简洁明快



托福作文更生活化一些，注重长短句的结合，楼主全文基本都是长句，且多个从句叠在一切，让人看起来很累。这个需要精简，同时托福作文更不是gre阅读不需要套那么多从句。



楼主需要吧作文的用词好好的看一下，这篇文章的consider 这个词出现了太多词句式用法比较单一。



文章的结构没有问题，例子也切合，观点很好这是我需要学习的，因为我昨天写的时候就不知道写什么。



没什么大的错误，拼写和时态都不错。



努力方向应该是简化句子结构，增加句型变化，单词多样性