Franchise 的写作贴 Practice. Practice. Practice

guoyang88

9月2日 西安。

大家共同提高！

guoyang88

7.19 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: It is impossible to be completely honest with your friend.

As for me, I definitely agree with this statement that it is impossible to be completely honest with our friend. I hold the opinion that honest is an essential part which plays a significant role in friendship. Never the less, according to facts I have known, it does not work well in friendship all the time.

First of all, being honest is a great virtue for friends. When we consider someone as friends, it means that we trust them and share private things with them. What's more, the secrets shared by friends sometimes should not be leaked out. If one leak out the secrets, even by accident, it is impossible for them to be good friends again in that case obviously.  Without honesty, friends each other will lose trust and their friendship is will be over ultimately.

However, we can never always be honest with our friends. For one thing, it is sometimes a difficult thing to be frank and say what we have in our mind directly. For example, if our friends get very gat, it is not that polite to point out that problem they get straightforwardly. Cause if you do that, your friends may think you just want to humiliate them. That is just one case we can not always be honest.  For another, in the world we live, it is necessary to disguise ourselves just like some other species do in nature. If not, those species will be preyed by predator easily and be eliminated in the end. Similarly, this state of affairs is apply to human being. So, it's high doubtful if human being can survive in the perilous world if we are completely honest.

Also, everyone has his own secret that don't want to share with anybody, even his parents and close friends. Although friends can talk about  almost everything they have interest in, they can never be transparent to each other. That's a special features for human beings who owns his own inner world. Only in that way, we can be unique and independent. Granted, people should communicate their feeling and thoughts with friends and share the emotion with them, but I think it does not mean it is smart for them to tell everything to friends with no limitation.

To sum up, we can not be completely honest with our friend. But in most cases, we can  be friendly, comparatively speaking, and show no harm to our friends.

hui刀

红色为修改， 蓝色为建议
Asfor me, I definitely agree with this statement that it is impossible to becompletely honest with our friend. I hold the opinion that honest（honesty） is an essential part which plays a significant rolein friendship. Never the less(笔误？ nevertheless),according to facts I have known, it does not work well in friendship all thetime.

First of all, beinghonest is a great virtue for friends. When we consider someone as friends, itmeans that we trust them and share private things with them. What's more, the secrets （secrets,有复数就不用定冠词）sharedby friends sometimes should not be leaked out. If one leak out the secrets,even by accident, it is impossible for them to be good friends again in thatcase obviously.  Without honesty, friends each other will lose trust andtheir friendship is will be over ultimately.

However, we cannever always be honest with our friends. For one thing, it is sometimes adifficult thing to be frank and say what we have in our mind directly. Forexample, if our friends get very gat（手枪？or fat？）, it is not that polite topoint out that problem they get straightforwardly. Cause if you do that, yourfriends may think you just want to humiliate them. That is just one case we cannot always be honest.  For another, in the world we live, it is necessaryto disguise ourselves just like some other species do in nature. If not, thosespecies will be preyed by predator easily and be eliminated in the end.Similarly, this state of affairs is apply to (applies to) human being. So, it's high(highly) doubtful if human being can survive in the perilousworld if we are completely honest.

Also, everyone hashis own secret that don't（缺少主语he, 主谓一致doesn’t） want to share with anybody, even his parents andclose friends. Although friends can talk about almost everything they haveinterest in, they can never be transparent to each other. That's a special features(前面是a ,所以用feature) for human beings（改成every person，与后文owns, his对应） who owns  hisown inner world. Only in that way, we can be unique and independent. Granted,people should communicate their feeling and thoughts with friends and share theemotion with them, but I think it does not mean it is smart for them to telleverything to friends with no（without） limitation.

To sum up, we cannot be completely honest with our friend. But in most cases, we can befriendly, comparatively speaking, and show no harm to our friends.

楼主行文很流畅，但条件状语从句使用频繁使得句式有点单一~

guoyang88

7.24 Do you agree or disagree: There is never a reason to be rude (impolite) to another person. Use specific reasons to support your answer.

The statement says there is never a reason to be rude to another person. In my view, I can not agree with this statement for the reasons below. I believe that sometimes it is very necessary to be rude to another person in some cases.

First of all, as human beings, the nature of us is to survive in this world. So it is definitely impossible to be always polite to others. We have to struggle and compete in almost everything. Obviously, in competing with others, being polite means to be a loser. We can not show mercy to other competitors if we really want to win.


Granted, in some cases, there is a reason to be polite to another person such as our family and our close friends, but if we are rude to them, our relations will be damaged. That's not what we expect in our life. Lost of friends and a good relationship can frustrate us and make us down in a long time. Also, being rude to others can cause other problems. When you treat others impolitely, it it very possible they treat you in the same way. For example, when I talk with people with a smile, usually the conversation is in a cordial and friendly atmosphere. Nevertheless, when I show a little angry or dissatisfied, the conversation sometimes can not even go on. So, in some cases we'd better be polite to others for good.

这篇观点实在想不出了。改的同学先改前面3段吧。我再研究研究-。-

huluhulufei

7.24 Do you agree or disagree: There is never a reason to be rude (impolite) to another person. Use specific reasons to support your answer.

The statement says there is never a reason to be rude to another person. In my view, I can not agree with this statement for the reasons below. I believe that sometimes it is very necessary to be rude to another person in some cases. 开篇没有问题，观点鲜明，就是有点生硬呦~ 第二句和第三句可以换一下位置，另外句子可以更丰富一些，改成：

(第一句保留.) However, the information I’ve collected from the last few years leads to believe that it is necessary to express rudeness to others in some circumstances. Therefore, I can’t agree with the statement. The reasons are as follows.

First of all, as human beings, the nature of us is to survive in this world. So it is definitely impossible to be always polite to others. We have to struggle and compete in almost everything. Obviously, in competing with others, being polite means to be a loser. We can not show mercy to other competitors if we really want to win. 观点很好很好！句子和语言也没问题~再加个例子就更好啦！！


Granted, in some cases, there is a reason to be polite to another person such as our family and our close friends, but if we are rude to them, our relations will be damaged（前半句有什么作用？逻辑感觉有点问题嗫~）. That's not what we expect in our life. Losts of friends and a good relationship can frustrate us and make us down in a long time(什么意思？为什么relationship会frustrate我们？最好给一个更清楚的解释). Also, being rude to others can cause other problems（到底站在哪一边嗫？？？）. When you treat others impolitely, it it very possible they treat you in the same way. For example, when I talk with people with a smile, usually the conversation is in a cordial and friendly atmosphere. Nevertheless, when I show a little angry or dissatisfied, the conversation sometimes can not even go on. So, in some cases we'd better be polite to others for good.感觉有点迷惑。。。。楼主到底站在哪一边嗫？



楼主的语言和句子还是蛮好的！问题就是思路上。最好在写文章之前列个草稿，而且，思路要清晰呀！！！

guoyang88

7。27

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People should know the events happening around the world, even if it unlikely has some influence on your daily life.

With the rapid development of the media,  we are now able to get access to the news happening all over the world more conveniently and rapidly. So, there is a debate that whether people should pay attention to the events, which may have nothing to do with people themselves. In my view, I believe we should not focus on the events which have little influence on ourselves.
Our lifetime is limited, so we should focus on the most important thing in our lives. For example, if we have our commitment and dedication to achieve a personal goal, the best way to get it is to focus on ourselves and make great efforts till it is done. We have too little time to care about other events, let alone those irrelevant events. Nevertheless, it is our life that we should concentrate on. So, using those precious time to improve our lives is the sensible behave in our significance lives.

Also, it is time for us to decide whether we should spend our precious time on those irrelevant things. Technology apart, the Internet points the way to a reason why why we feel so time-pressed: the information explosion. Nowadays, we can easily get the information about events, almost anytime and anywhere in the world. However, we can not just be a viewer in this world. For instance, if people spent lots of time on getting information about the economic crisis, they might just waste unnecessary time and without making any effort to get a job.

Last but not the least, granted,  knowing the events happening around the world may help us accumulate knowledge and broaden our horizon, but it is essential for us to distinguish which events some influence on us. Only in that way, we can avoid being distracted by unimportant things.

In sum, our lifetime is limited, we must know where would we go and how to get there. This world is too big to be all cared by us.

kaddish

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People should know the events happening around the world, even if it unlikely has some influence on your daily life.

With the rapid development of the media,  we are now able to get access to the news happening all over the world more conveniently and rapidly. So, there is a debate that whether people should pay attention to the events, which may have nothing to do with people themselves. In my view, I believe we should not focus on the events which have little influence on ourselves.
Our lifetime is limited, so we should focus on the most important thing in our lives. For example, if we have our commitment and dedication to achieve a personal goal, the best way to get it is to focus on ourselves and make great efforts till it is done. We have too little time to care about other events, let alone those irrelevant events. Nevertheless, （这个连词用的有点诡异，和前面的句子是什么关系）it is our life that we should concentrate on. So, using those precious （those指代什么？上文有出现过么，逻辑上==）time to improve our lives is the sensible behave（behavior） in our significance lives. (这段开头说是引文时间limited，所以要focus on 最重要的事，但结尾说提高自身生活是很必要的，这个中间需要过渡下下吧，这个最重要和提高生活怎么就联系起来了呢)

Also, it is time for us to decide whether we should spend our precious time on those irrelevant things.（好像观点没有说的很透彻，spend time on relevant things 的原因是什么） Technology apart, the Internet points the way to a reason(这个说法好新奇) why we feel so time-pressed: the information explosion. Nowadays, we can easily get the information about events, almost anytime and anywhere in the world. However, we can not just be a viewer in this world. For instance, if people spent lots of time on getting information about the economic crisis, they might just waste unnecessary time and（去掉） without making any effort to get a job.

Last but not the least, granted,  knowing the events happening around the world may help us accumulate knowledge and broaden our horizon, but it is essential for us to distinguish which events （have）some influence on us. Only in that way, we can avoid being distracted by unimportant things.

In sum, our lifetime is limited, we must know where would we go and how to get there. This world is too big to be all cared by us. （这句话有点chinglish）
总点评：
优点.语句还挺流畅，特别是granted ,还有：的使用都提高了文章的多样性表达
缺点;有些用词建议再精准些呐，还有第一个和第二个的观点貌似重合了不清晰，让步段的理由也比较牵强，总之呐，楼主多多加油哈！

guoyang88

还有一个月，小组作业要每天都完成。多修改，都记背。这一周的任务是把作文字数从300-350 提升到350到400.  反复记忆好句子。这样写的时候可以轻松些。
8.1

If you need to discuss upsetting or controversial problems with others, you will use e-mail or text messaging，OR use the telephone or voice-messaging

With the development of industry of communication, people now have more choices to communicate with others for discussion. However, when it comes to unsetting or controversial problems, there are two choices, namely the telephone or voice-messaging to e-mail or text messaging. As for me, I will choose telephone or voice-messaging for the reasons below.

First of all, using the telephone or voice-messaging can transmit information clearly and directly. When we use telephone or voice-messaging, the information can be received effectively. What's more, it saves time for in the same amount of time, the voice can spread far more information than text do.  In that way, if we do not want to be misunderstood by others, the best way to communicate is using the telephone or voice-messaging. In that way, the significant thins can be known well immediately which not only make us efficient but also proactive.



What's more, to discuss problems with others by using telephone or voice-messaging can show our attitude clearly. In some cases, the e-mail or text messaging have the limitation to show the true opinions of us. Because we can transmit our upsetting mood by a serious tone. When confronting with upsetting or controversial problems, we can not express our sorrow and pity barely by texts. But voices can show the true feeling directly.

Granted, e-mail or text messaging is more formal compared to phone conversations in some cases , but the most significant part in discussion is that we can get an immediate reaction.  More importantly, some problems need instant solutions, so avoiding procrastination by using telephone is the best way to be effective. In conclusion, e-mail or text messaging is appropriate for non-emergency situations.


In sum, if I have some upsetting or controversial problem to discuss with others, I will definitely pick up my cellphone and call them directly. Only in that way, the problems can be solved effectively and immediately.

hjl80959

蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结红色为错误
With the development of industry of communication(communication industry), people now have more choices to communicate with others for discussion(for discussion 删去). However, when it comes to unsetting or controversial problems, there are two choices,（Moreover,这样才对吧，不存在转折啊？为什么controversial topicis limited to choice?这个有问题）namely the telephone or voice-messaging to e-mail or text messaging. As for me, I will choose telephone or voice-messaging for the reasons below.应该是四选一吧怎么变成两面了？



First of all, using the telephone or voice-messaging can transmit information clearly and directly. When we use telephone or voice-messaging, the information can be received effectively. What's more, it saves time for in the same amount of time（不明白什么意思。。不过可以肯定地说是有问题的）, the voice can spread far more information than text do（does）.for example……..  In that way, if we do not want to be misunderstood by others, the best way to communicate is using the telephone or voice-messaging. In that way,(重复而且还靠这么近 thus) the significant thins can be known well immediately which not only make us efficient but also proactive.

缺少例子支撑你的观点，efficiently 没体现出来



What's more, to discuss problems with others by using telephone or voice-messaging can show our attitude clearly（换个词？explicitly definitely）. In some cases, the e-mail or text messaging have the limitation to show the true opinions of us. Because we can transmit our upsetting mood by a serious tone. （这个是碎片主句去哪了？）When confronting with upsetting or controversial problems, we can not express our sorrow and pity barely by texts. But voices can show the true feeling directly.

Emotion can not be completely or directly conveyed to the other.
是不是可以和第一段整合到一起去？不然还是会显得很单薄，no example to justify your view
Granted,这是连词不能用逗号隔开 e-mail or text messaging is more formal compared to phone conversations in some cases , but the most significant part in discussion is that we can(are obliged to) get an immediate reaction.  More importantly, some problems need instant solutions, so avoiding procrastination by using telephone is the best way to be effective. In conclusion, e-mail or text messaging is appropriate for non-emergency situations.
既然是non-emergency situation 那为什么还跟formal这个理由有点牵强。

In sum, if I have some upsetting or controversial problem to discuss with others, I will definitely pick up my cellphone and call them directly. Only in that way, the problems can be solved effectively and immediately.



楼主的文章的结构已经出来了，要做的是想好一些例子，来说明你的观点，整篇文章没有一个例子这个可不行，因为你很难凑到400+ 同时这个用词貌似还要更注重，相同的词汇出现了很多次。。

最重要的，这个句子结构好似有点单一。。 can need 出现的太多了。。

麻烦去改一下我的作文。。

guoyang88

8月4日For future career success, is relate well to other people more important than studying hard at school?

Students, who are eager to have a successful and promising career, want to know which is more important, being relate well to other people or studying hard at school. From my point of view, I believe that studying hard at school is superior to good  relationship with other people.

First of all, studying hard is a student's own field of endeavour. It is what they should do in their promising and energetic ages. For one thing, the knowledge a student got in college play a significant role in his whole career life. The level of professional knowledge determine how well a student perform in a company . For another, a company usually makes  studying hard students take responsibility for vital project for they are tend to be more effective,positive and assiduous. Thus make the diligent students increase in importance in company, leading to a more successful career for them.

Also, the work ethic of a man determines how good he could be in every aspect of life. It is a set of values based on hard work and diligence. Workers exhibiting a good work ethic in theory should be selected for better positions, more responsibility and ultimately promotion. Meanwhile, workers who fail to exhibit a good work ethic may be regarded as failing to provide fair value for the wage the employer is paying them and should not be promoted or placed in positions of greater responsibility. Clearly, students, who study hard in school, are not lack of work ethic. And they are more likely to be successful in their future career.

Granted, being relate well to other people is sort of significant. But it is not the decisive factor for career success. In most cases, the relations with other people mainly depends how excellent students are. For people are more likely to make friends with outstanding person. What's more, taking time to deal with friendship in company is not as effective as focus on one's own job. As friends, they usually waste time on drinking and chatting. Admittedly, it is not who we are underneath, but what we do that defines us. So, the most effective way to have an accomplishment in career is concentrating on one's own work.

In sum, studying hard means a student possesses the virtues of confidence, perseverance and positive attitude. Obviously, these virtues are of more importance than having a good relationship with other people .