huluhulufei 的作业贴~

chenglu9066

蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结红色为错误

Though more and more people are confident about the progressing society, asserting that there will hardly be unsolved problems left in the future, I consider such statement untenable. Because of the inner regulations in various societies and different cultures in the world, there will surely be conflicts among nations and societies. The specific points and explanations are as follows.

To begin with, it is humans that bring social problems, which cannot be eradicated unless human disappear totally. No one could deny their excitement when they listen to their president’s speech, who guarantees less unemployment and more opportunities for the young. However, there have been more than 30 presidents in the American history, but does the citizens, no matter he’s old or young, see the disappearance of unemployment? The answer is absolutely no. It’s because of the social regulation, the laws, and the government rules that twists together to contribute it. Therefore, as long as humans exist, the social problem like unemployment will never be solved exactly.

In addition, even though our society is stepping forward with the developing technologies or better law drafts or even more completed regulations（一个句子里应只有一个or）, the inner darkness of humanity can never be moved away. Proud, selfish, greed and lazy (主语应为名词，lazy selfish proud为形容词哦~)are the reflection of human weakness, all of which contribute to serious problems such as AIDS spread, crime, discrimination and children addicted in drugs. Unluckily, the weakness cannot be solved by lawyers, diplomats, economists and policies. As you can see, it’s due to the various humanities that make this colorful world. And also, it’s due to the various humanities that the world is filled with danger, excitement and lure.

Instead of offering the world a more glorious and harmonious future, the high-tech, that most people suppose as the key to the bright, may just in turn be the killer. For example, many people may praise physical scientists finding nuclear power source as the neat and strong source to create light（praise for doing sth）. However, the atom bomb that exploded in the World War had made thousands of hundreds of people died in Japan. And the explosion of nuclear power station last year in Japan, has made it more clear to see the dangers of nuclear power. What’s more, the wonderful power of chemistry as led people find out numerous compounds for both eating and clothing. While, when we face the terrible health problems that chemistry contribute, who can say it’s absolutely of benefits without any harm?

In sum, the statement that the most important problems in today’s world will be solved in our lifetime begs the question, because we’ll never eradicate the weakness of humanity, make the best regulations that suit for all nations, and evade the harm from technologies.

整体感觉，流畅
建议：句式多变些,有些句子需要再提炼，不然读起来会有些拗口，冗繁哦

huluhulufei

7.17 综合， TPO 8

The reading passage holds the point that the memoir that Chevalier wrote is not accurate. However, the professor in the lecture claims in the contrary that the evidence in the reading material is untenable. He gives three specific reasons to support his idea.

Firstly, even though the reading asserts that if Chevalier was indeed wealthy in Switzerland, he would not have to borrow considerable sums of money, the professor insists that the loan itself didn't absolutely mean poor. Because Chevalier mainly used money for gambling and parties, and he needed time to change his assets into crash, he had to borrow some from merchant.

Secondly, in spite of the statement in the reading that the records of the conversation that Chevalier had with Voltaire could not be accurate because it was written many years after the conversation occurred, the professor asserts it's untenable. Because Chevalier states in the memoir that he took notes each time he had night conversation with Voltaire. What’s more, witness later who lived with Chevalier confirmed that he always consulted note and journals to write down the memoir.

Thirdly, the author of reading maintains that Chevalier escaped prison in Venice because his friends bribed the jailers, instead of making a hole in the ceiling and climbing through the roof. In the contrary, the professor points out that there were people with more politically well-connected friends in the prison than Chevalier, who however had not been freed. What's more, due to the documents of Venice government, just days after Chevalier escaped, the old ceiling had been repaired, which demonstrates that he escaped the prison just like what he had written in the memoir.

kchszy061ban

蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结红色为错误

The reading passage holds the point that there’s no need for American wood company to adopt ecocertification. However, the professor in the lecture proves the evidence （is or to be ）untenable. He gives three specific reasons to support his idea.

Firstly, even though the reading asserts that consumers in the U.S. will not trust the ads and ignore them as usual, the professor claims in the lecture that consumers will make clear identification about whether the ads is（are）about the company’s own products or about the claims from independent agencies. Actually, the customers have great interests supporting the wood ecologically certified for its international reputation. Obviously, the professor’s statement disproves its counterpart in the passage.

Secondly, in spite of the statement in the passage that the higher wood prices that（because of the added）cost of certification bring will lead to the potential consumers losing（losing of consumers能这样用么，我不是很清楚额）, the professor insists that price only affects the consumers’ decisions when it’s much higher or lower than the other one. Actually the higher-quality wood’s price is within 5 percent higher than the original one, which will not affect the consumers’ decisions. What’s more, the Americans are convinced of the value of environment more than before.

Thirdly, the author of the reading passage claims that the certification of the wood only makes sense when it’s for abroad sailing. However, the American inland is the wood company’s main market. The professor proves this statement indefensible by the fact that in the competitive market, the wood with certification will gradually capture a large amount of potential customers. If the native wood company doesn’t develop ecocertified products, the foreign companies with environmentally products will soon dominate the whole market.
听力要点都很全额。不错

huluhulufei

7.17 综合， TPO 8

The reading passage holds the point that the memoir that Chevalier wrote is not accurate. However, the professor in the lecture claims in the contrary that the evidence in the reading material is untenable. He gives three specific reasons to support his idea.

Firstly, even though the reading asserts that if Chevalier was indeed wealthy in Switzerland, he would not have to borrow considerable sums of money, the professor insists that the loan itself didn't absolutely mean poor. Because Chevalier mainly used money for gambling and parties, and he needed time to change his assets into crash, he had to borrow some from merchant.

Secondly, in spite of the statement in the reading that the records of the conversation that Chevalier had with Voltaire could not be accurate because it was written many years after the conversation occurred, the professor asserts it's untenable. Because Chevalier states in the memoir that he took notes each time he had night conversation with Voltaire. What’s more, witness later who lived with Chevalier confirmed that he always consulted note and journals to write down the memoir.

Thirdly, the author of reading maintains that Chevalier escaped prison in Venice because his friends bribed the jailers, instead of making a hole in the ceiling and climbing through the roof. In the contrary, the professor points out that there were people with more politically well-connected friends in the prison than Chevalier, who however had not been freed. What's more, due to the documents of Venice government, just days after Chevalier escaped, the old ceiling had been repaired, which demonstrates that he escaped the prison just like what he had written in the memoir.

huluhulufei

7.18Do you agree or disagree, because the world is changing so quickly, people now are less happy and less satisfied than people in the past



With the development of society, people nowadays find it hard to keep up with the high-pace of the world. However, the modern technologies that updates timely have provided us with various ways to satisfy our needs, including more convenient ways to contact with others and enjoy amusements. Therefore, I could hardly agree with the statement that people now are less happy than people in the past. The reasons are as follows.

To begin with, we have more convenient ways to make contact with others today than before. I have always been told about the story from my grandmother that how much she missed my mom when my mother had to study away from home. The only way they could use was letter, by which they conveyed missing feelings. However, nowadays I can make phone call everyday with my mom, even though I’m quite far away from my hometown. Similarly, when I and my classmates graduated from high school, we had never been sad about saying goodbye to each other, because we could always make contacts wherever and whenever we want to. In this way, people nowadays can be happier than before because of the convenience of contact with friends and family members.

In addition, the development of internet and various information platforms provide more sources than before for us to make use of, which is beneficial both to life and career. For instance, when I was confused or had problems about the assignment that the professor requested, I would count on the internet for help. In this way, the information that the internet contains can remind me of some important aspects of the academic work. Also, there was a time that my throat was aching, and I searched the internet to find out the measure to cure it. Therefore, the guides of modern internet satisfy both our life and career needs.

What’s more, even though the world is changing quickly now, there’s something important that didn’t change. There are many precious feeling that human contain, and the feelings hadn’t changed for hundreds of years. The true love between couples, the trusts between friends, and the care from parents are all the true feelings that both people now and in the past contain. With such feelings we can feel happiness in spite of the quickly developing world.

In sum, the statement that people now are less happy and less satisfied than before begs the question, because of the more convenient massage convey, various sources platforms for life and career, and the unchangeable human true feelings.

qianjun06

7.17 综合， TPO 8

The reading passage holds the point that the memoir that Chevalier wrote is not accurate. However, the professor in the lecture claims in the contrary that the evidence in the reading material is untenable. He gives three specific reasons to support his idea.

Firstly, even though the reading asserts that if Chevalier was indeed wealthy in Switzerland, he would not have to borrow considerable sums of money, the professor insists that the loan itself didn't absolutely mean poor. Because Chevalier mainly used money for gambling and parties, and he needed time to change his assets into crash, he had to borrow some from merchant.

Secondly, in spite of the statement in the reading that the records of the conversation that Chevalier had with Voltaire could not be accurate because it was written many years after the conversation occurred, the professor asserts it's untenable. Because Chevalier states in the memoir that he took notes each time he had night conversation with Voltaire. What’s more, witness later who lived with Chevalier confirmed that he always consulted note and journals to write down the memoir.

Thirdly, the author of reading maintains that Chevalier escaped from prison in Venice because his friends bribed the jailers, instead of making a hole in the ceiling and climbing through the roof. In the contrary, the professor points out that there were people with more politically well-connected friends in the prison than Chevalier, who however had not been freed.So,it's difficult for him to escape from it What's more, due to the documents of Venice government, just days after Chevalier escaped, the old ceiling had been repaired, which demonstrates that he escaped from the prison just like what he had written in the memoir.


听的蛮全，每段最后如果能加个总结更加好

hui刀

7.18 独立


蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩红色为错误
With thedevelopment of society, people nowadays find it hard to keep up with thehigh-pace of the world. However, the modern technologiesthat updates(主语是technologies，主谓一致应为update) timely have provided us with various ways tosatisfy our needs, including(改成and,并列关系更好吧) more convenient ways to contact with othersand enjoy amusements. Therefore, I could hardly agree with the statement thatpeople now are less happy than people in the past. The reasons are as follows.

To begin with, we have more convenient ways to make contactwith others today than before. I have always been told about the story from mygrandmother that how much she missed my mom when my mother had to study awayfrom home. The only way they could use was letter, by which they conveyedmissing feelings. However, nowadays I can make (固定搭配make a phone call,因此 +a) phone call everyday with my mom, even thoughI’m quite far away from my hometown. Similarly, when I and my classmatesgraduated from high school, we had never been sad about saying（固定搭配，be sad to do） goodbyeto each other, because we could always make contacts wherever and whenever wewant to. In this way, people nowadays can be happier than before because of theconvenience of contact with friends and family members.

In addition, the developmentof internet and various information platforms provide more sources than beforefor us to make use of（这里的比较有问题吧，development与before比较？）,which(which 指代不清)is beneficial both to life and career. Forinstance, when I was confused or had problems about the assignment that theprofessor requested, I would count on the internet for help. In this way, theinformation that the internet contains can（could，前面一直都是was, would）remind me of some important aspects of the academic work. Also, there was atime that my throat was aching, and I searched the internet to find out themeasure to cure it. Therefore, the guides of modern internet satisfy both ourlife and career needs.

What’s more, even though the world is changing quickly now,there’s something important that didn’t change. There are many precious feeling(主谓一致feelings) that human contain, and The(改成These比较好)feelings hadn’t changed for hundreds of years. The true love between couples, the trusts betweenfriends, and the care from parents are all the true feelings that both peoplenow and in the past contain. (主语直接为True love, trusts, care更好)Withsuch feelings we can feel happiness in spite of the quickly developing world.

In sum, the statement that people now are less happy and lesssatisfied than before begs the question, because of the more convenient massageconvey, various sources platforms for life and career, and the unchangeable human true (true humanunchangeable) feelings.

楼主的文章总体感觉很流畅，即使是长句子也是结构完整但须注意主谓一致。

huluhulufei

谢谢刀刀的详细批改！　若非刀刀提醒，我一直没有发现自己主谓不一致的问题。　对下面的这个句子我有一些自己的看法：


In addition, the development of internet and various information platforms provide more sources than before for us to make use of（这里的比较有问题吧，development与before比较？）,which(which 指代不清) is beneficial both to life and career



１　这个than 是说现在的 sources 比过去的多。
２　Which 指代的前边这句话，也就是 provide more sources　这件事～

hui刀

因为我之前备考G，所以对“比较、对比”比较敏感，对比结构应该一致！（当然也有省略的情况）internet and various information platforms provide more sources than information platforms did for us to make use of这样才结构一致，但可能改变了楼主本意！至于which指代用法，你可以看一看这个帖子：http://forum.chasedream.com/GMAT_SC/thread-724284-1-5.html 主要在3楼另外请fei记得帮我改7月18日的独立写作~

huluhulufei

谢谢你的建议和信息！！ feifei  感激不尽~！！ 撒花~撒花~~~