【写作小分队之Caecar降临！求拍砖，感激不尽！】

听心22

蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结红色为错误

Nowadays, due to the international trade development，（这里是原因状语？觉得应该有个标点）the connection between countries are more strengthened than in the past. There is not any country can develop alone despite the global economy. With the high-speed development of technology and science, people can get a large number of information from diverse medium, such as TV, internet, magazine, newspaper, etc. However, there are a certain amount of information happened（觉得搭配不当，如果连在一起是个固定名词“信息发生”，但这里happen 是作为动词用的。可以改为affair）around the world that is unlikely related to our daily life. From my prospective, I believe it is good to know more about the world even if it does not have influence on our life.（这段每句都挺好的，就是句子之间的逻辑联系不明确）

First of all, the events happened abroadare （觉得用like更舒服一些）mirrors, they reflect the result of certain determination. These events help（建议改成which 从句，which can help）us to avoid making the same mistake or to gain the similar profit from the events happened around the world.（可以去掉，否则不太通顺） In most cases, when facing a problem, people probably(觉得不要更好)tend to find out solutions that our ancestors had created. In modern society, things change rapidly, so it would be better if we can learn something from the events happened in other country.

What's more, when people talks about these events happen around the world,(可以不要，主题句一般不写细节，可用在下面论述里，可以改成knowing more about another country )it is undeniably beneficial to improve our social connection. Talking different events happened in different country are of importance for information exchange, and it will vastly promote social skills even though the events have nothing to do with our life.

Admittedly, knowing these events somewhat is wasting(建议改成may need use some of) our precious time, On the other hand, (觉得换成but there is no doubt that it is necessarily to know something about the world. Because the world )we are living in a plant world, every country is connected in a whole big world. Every event happened in one country must have influenced others. For example, if China workers stop working for a week, the products of factory will not be finish, and it affects the global economy.

In conclusion, even events happening around the world are unlikely affect our daily life, the events have their own merit, they give information about how the world changing, they broaden our horizon. It seems irrelevant to our life, but they indeed influence us from many aspects which are invisible.


总结：觉得句子之间的逻辑结构不清晰，有时候缺少必要的连词，段落的论证不够丰满，建议使用一些举例子摆事实的论证方法。

说明：其实列举的也同时是我自己的缺陷，有些地方也可能有误或不妥当，作为初写作文的生手只能尽力而为，希望对你有些帮助。