【写作小分队】Maylovehe的作文贴－拍死我吧

sang824

Nowadays, value of educated degree is much concerned to a point where a wide discussion has been aroused. Some people hold that it is more accessible for people to have bachelor or master degree currently than in past decades. In weighing up both prospect benefits and potential risks, I am on the opposite side of this claim and recon that people are now, to large extent, harder to become educated.

In current situation, someone might think that taking class and attending training are not difficult. For example, there are many training classes hold outside of universities or schools. Part of these organizations can also provide the certificate to learners. However, does anyone question about the teaching quality they provide? Does anyone challenge if whether the class service and facilities can be competed(觉得这里不需要被动 compete即可) with those in the well campus? I think the answer is obviously NO.  从这里两个问句，感觉下文应该围绕教育机构质量和设施不如学校，建议把这两个问句改成以下两个观点相关的句子，以呼应

To begin with, since the school is qualified educational organization, it often offers students an opportunity to learn. Also, the permission to acquire knowledge in school is strictly restricted to those students cannot past examination such as TOEFL and GMAT. To take Take Cornell University as an example, only a few of students can get the offer each year, which means to most of students, it is not an easy thing(it is not an easy thing to what? 建议补充出来)According to a statistic hold by International Education, over 82.6 percent of students around 18 years old in E.U. consider that it is much more difficult to get the permission today to enroll into well education(文章多次出现，是要表达好的教育么？well用法感觉不是很对). From above mentioned data and example, my point of view entirely presents to all(这里也表达的不明确，可以把观点再和开头呼应一下).  

Furthermore, past competition is was relatively lower(less fierce) than today in educational field. Few people regarded well education as theirfirst priority. Because they can find a good job whatever they have certification or not(建议修改without the consideration of certification).(这里because不能起单句,前面的句号应换成逗号) As a result, the fewer people take examinations, the easier people access schooling. PHD Jason J in Tokyo University use used his personal experience as an example to show why it is not hard for him to get the master degree in 1980s. He used to be a fisher man lived in a small town near the ocean. He decided to attend class rather than(unlike) his friends go to big city for jobs. In program, only 10 people attend the course and 8 of them have a chance to be a master. Therefore, less competition occurred on campus and then he naturally became the candidate for the master.

To sum up, even though quantum leaps one today’s economy, the education still serves as a goal which is not easy for everybody. What is more, it is time for us to aware that do not personally take well education in today’s society is an easy thing.(最后一句话没有怎么看懂)

conclusion: 建议对小词的使用格外留意，包括冠词介词，以及句子之间最好用联词连接，不要连续两个句子，比如第二个例子中阐述的。
                 再加强一下逻辑和用词就更好了。

sang824

In the reading passage, it is introduced a certification of ecological practices for wood company. Unlike most of companies around the world which pursuit this qualification of ecocertification, American Company will do the same for some other reasons. However, lecturer highly doubts those reasons mentioned in passage.

To begin with, one reason has been raised in passage is American customer do not pay attention on to the label because they are(语义看指代商标，但是主谓不一致) overwhelmed by sorts of advertisement. The professor, however, mentions that people trade advertisement differently from general company and Independent Organization which control the quality of goods. Furthermore, they would like to take the information in advertisement as reference when they pay for commodities.

Second of all, professor argues that it is ridiculers ridiculous to judge American customers as whom care about price which was enhanced due to hold this ecocertification by companies.  They care those abnormal price only if it obviously higher than competing goods.

Last but not least, it is not mandatory for American Company to obtain such certification because they only pay attention on local market. The professor stands on the opposite side of this view and states that the real problem is if companies will not be qualified, domestic consumers will probably be attracted by foreign commodities which are qualified and sounded. （我听的是如果美国引进这种标准，同样会吸引很多顾客）

To sum up, even though the reading passage mentioned the three possible reasons might be considered by American wood companieswhatever they finally applied the certifications of ecological standards.(这个长句感觉不流畅，建议分开来写) The professor still thinks all of reasons are unconvincing.

注意小词运用，听力再加强一下就更好了！

maylovehe1

Appreciated! I will reivew the meaning of comprehensive writing again and will check on other's independent writing in order to improve my quality...

Many thanks!

maylovehe1

5.7

In recent few decades, value of friends is much concerned to a point where a wide discussion has been aroused. Some people hold that it is irreplacable for those friends who we can play with. After a close scrutiny consideration, I am on the opposite of this viewpoint and recon that geniue friends are who help each other when we in traps.

First and foremost, it is true that having fun with others is important to drift bad mood away. However, we indeed seeking for conforts or solusions while we are in troubles, rather than hearing humrous stories or see the funny faces. According to a survey hold by a magazine named Mentle Health, over 86.7% of people between 18 and 48 hate to have fun with friends when their feelings deeply hurted or hearts brokened. Julie, the one took suvery, said that she need friends to talking through and undertsand her feelings under such vunerable feelings. The data can show what type of friends is our wiliness to obtain.

Second of all, those funny friends, at large degree, will make people become lasy. They are not communicating challenges and painfulness, thus they never change ideas on how to cope with this. Try to image that, if we always think about the funny story and enjoy the comfortable we already have, it has risks for us losing the orientation of life. For example, my roomate Jane, she has a friend Penny. They are hacking around street all days or get togehter to watch The Big Bang Theory. Consequently, they both did not past the graduated examination. Jane was so upset and came to me with crying tears. She said I should have more focus on academic course instead of having fun with Penny. I understand her feelings and told her please do not feel sad, you can do better if you start right now.  

At the same time, we cannot deny that playing with friends sometimes help us release from high pressure works and get rid of bad feelings. However, as a quote draw to us, be a playboy without ambition, it is really a time for us to re-examine the meaningful of friends who can only have fun with us.

All in all, great significance of friendship is attached to sincerely heart treat to others. We need to realize that only those friends who are not ignore us during our bad emotions and difficulties are needed to maintain.