issue 28 surest indicator 求高人指点~

choletter

28) The surest indicator of a great nation is represented not bytheachievements of its rulers, artists, or scientists, but by the general welfare of its people.(N28/94/113/120/121/127/145/147 O170)
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.
一个国家的伟大体现在国民的安乐上，而不是体现在统治者、艺术家或科学家的成就上。

I think the indicator to balance a country whether it is great enough is its national power, which means a nation or state that has the ability to exert its influence on a global scale. National power contains various elements which can be grouped into two categories, national and social. So I disagree with the statement that the surest indicator of a great nation should base on the general welfare of its people rather the achievements of its rulers, artists, or scientists. In fact, a brilliant leader could concern with a country to live or die.


For example, Geogre Washington, who was the first president of the United States and one of the most important leaders in United States history, gained independence for the American colonies and unified them under the new U.S.
federal government. When people come to America, they can never be negligent Washington’s influence. Laboring against great difficulties, Washington created the Continental Army, which fought and won the American Revolution out of what was little more than an armed mob. After eight-year struggle, he finally defeated Great Britain, establishing an independent country. Without his efforts, the liberation of American must be delayed several years, let alone a great America which has a remarkable status in international.

Besides, the author fails to provide a cogent definition of “general welfare”. When we say “promoting general welfare”, I think it means to promote public welfare, such as public health, cultural richness, individual autonomy and freedom, all these means a high quality of life. Since medicine and medical technology brought about vaccines and lasers instead of prostheses and organ transplants,few would agree that scientific achievements have no impact on them, Consider how the late 20^th century witnessed the complete elimination of smallpox. With the technology of vaccine, smallpox has systematically targeted and eradicated. What’s more, technology allows us to locate lands that can be cultivated for feeding malnourished people in some countries. It also free up our time and promote our efficiency both in daily life and workdays. A majority of people commute to work in an automobile which can save time on the road. Therefore, it is necessarily to contain scientific achievements to examine a country’s national power.


In addition, artistic achievement is also needed to make a nation a better place for humans overall, since it plays a significant role in didactics. An artistic achievement often employed as a means for teaching important cultural ideas and values. For instance, Beethoven’s music, including 9 symphonies,5 piano concertos and so on, forms a transition from classical to romantic composition. He used his art to sing the praises of the freedom and equality, to express a cultural value and idea. What’s more, artistic achievements can also play a role of maintaining harmony in economic life. This was one of the functions of the Kula Ring exchange of ceremonial necklaces armbands among islanders such as the Trobrianders and Dobuans.


However, with the evidence of individual achievements of the sorts listed above, we should also be careful not to hastily assume that a nation is necessarily great merely by virtue of the achievements of individual citizens. Consider history’s most infamous tyrants and despots, such as Hitler and Stalin. No one would agree that German and Soviet Union under their leadership were great nations since the security of their citizens didn’t guarantee. Hence, as far as I concern, when people come to evaluate a country’s national power, both achievements of its rulers, artists, or scientists and the general welfare of its people should be included.
(590 words)

普渡哥

美国的独立更像人民的胜利。

竹林中人

你的第一段的论点说的是一个国家的伟大 在于它的影响力，但你的正文内容都是反驳题目的观点去了，所以有理由认为你的这篇文章偏了。你的立意最好根据题目出发，你在第一段给出了自己的立场，接着第二段就只举了一个例子，直接证明自己的第一段，后面的连段又是反驳题目，这样的结构安排显得很不成熟，很随意。建议好好揣摩下文章结构怎么安排吧