【写作小分队】鸟儿Cjoy的作文贴~~To be more logical~~~

Crystaljoy

To 晨依，
However, skeptical about the inadequate supporting evidence，the speaker makes statements against them through deep and fundamental analysis.
我想共用一个speaker 的主语，表示他的状态。可以么？

Crystaljoy

3月13日101211 NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is more enjoyable to have a job, and you work only three days a week with long hours rather than work five days a week with shorter hours.

It sounds cool to toil only three days rather than five for the same big bread, isn't it? When seeking a work and life balance, however, we can never neglect the importance of quality of life for individuals and productivity for company. From this perspective, I hold the view that the drawbacks of a three-day-work scheme far outweigh its good.

To begin with, a quantity intensive three-day-work cannot afford the flexibility to deal with the unexpected urgencies occurring in the workplace. To condense the working hours which the same workload shared from five days to three days, we get plenty things to handle in the limited daytime, thus leave us a rather tight to-do-list. Once any emergency takes place, such as an interim meeting of the board, you have no choice but to take the priority over your own list. As a result, you delay the completion of today's job and have to take it home to fulfill, because there are more tasks waiting for you tomorrow which doesn't allow your put-off. Obviously, it's much more flexible to add some unexpected to the schedule when adopting a five-day-scheme.

In addition, a less stressful working scheme is good to employees, especially for women. As women are born, by nature, to take more responsibility in the child upbringing, that is to say, a child attach more to mother than father. Admittedly, many companies acknowledge the significant role a woman plays in child bearing and allows for maternal leave with full payment. In my observation, however, it is also necessary to provide every mother enough time to share with children every day. Therefore, working five days a week with shorter hours is beneficial to both employees and their families.

It's true that a three-day-work endows you the freedom to plan the rest of the week, maybe a distant travel, a training program, or another part-time job if you are capable enough. But from my experience, it really takes me long time to refocus on my study, every time after a relaxing holiday, thus the extreme leisure or extreme toil will definitely harm the productivity in the job.

In sum, from the reasons discussed above, I firmly believe it's better to adopt a more flexible five day working schedule than to be driven by the whip of heavy load with longer work hours everyday. In the former case, both life quality and work productivity will be greatly enhanced.

Crystaljoy

3月13日TPO3

The reading passage raises three doubts on the claim that one portrait painting is attributed to Rembrandt, a celebrated Dutch painter in 17th century. However, the lecturer disagrees with the statement by citing more adequate evidences from reexamination of the painting conducted by some experts.

Firstly, the speaker puts forward a possible answer to the question why the linen cap is inconsistent with the luxurious fur collar. She states that, instead of a mistake of ignoring the details, the fur collar was actually added to the original painting for aesthetic function, by someone else 100 years later. This resolves the first doubt raised in the reading.

Besides, in regard to the light and shadow issue, the lecturer and author hold distinct views. According to the reading passage, the face is too bright to be true as the fur collar can absorb much light rather than reflect it. While the lecture restates the fact that the fur was added to replace the original light-colored one, thus it makes sense for an illuminated face in reality.

After that, the professor continues refuting the third doubt on the panel materials. This panel was made of wood glued together, a device Embrandt seldom choose, as presented in the reading passage. Differently, the professor argues that the wood was not glued together originally, but come from the same tree with that in another masterpiece painted by Embrant. What's more, he says, the later added glued pieces of wood only contribute to a more grand and valuable decoration.

prodliu

It sounds cool to toil only three days rather than five for the same big bread (big bread??什么意思), isn't it? When seeking a work and life balance（a balance between work and life是不是更好些？？）, however, we can never(can never怎么觉得有些别扭，shouldn’t) neglect the importance of quality of life for individuals and productivity(profit是不是好些，感觉工厂一类的才是生产率) for company. From this perspective, I hold the view that the drawbacks of a three-day-work scheme far outweigh its good.（一个outweigh，简洁而有效，类似outnumber）

To begin with, a quantity intensive three-day-work cannot afford the flexibility to deal with the unexpected urgencies occurring in the workplace. To condense the working hours which the same workload shared from five days to three days, we get plenty things to handle in the limited daytime, thus leave us a rather tight to-do-list. Once any emergency takes place, such as an interim(好词啊，同义词temporary/provisional) meeting of the board, you have no choice but to take the priority over your own list(很好的表达，have no choice but to do, take the priority). As a result, you delay the completion of today's job and have to take it home to fulfill, because there are more tasks waiting for you tomorrow which doesn't allow your put-off(这里你想表达的是一些临时的紧急事情会把当天的工作拖延到第二天或者带到家完成。这样表达是不是逻辑性更强:As a result, you have to delay the current works until finishing the urgent incidents，and sometimes you need to use your spare time to do your works ). Obviously, it's much more flexible to add some unexpected to the schedule when adopting a five-day-scheme.

In addition, a less stressful working scheme is good to employees, especially for women. As women are born, by nature, to take more responsibility in the child upbringing, that is to say, a child attach more to mother than father. Admittedly, many companies acknowledge the significant role a woman plays in child bearing and allows for maternal leave with full payment（并列错了，主语是companies acknowledge…and allow ）. In(According to) my observation, however, it is also necessary to provide every(each) mother enough time to share（spend好一些） with children every day. Therefore, working five days a week with shorter hours is beneficial to both employees and their families.

It's true that a three-day-work endows you the freedom to plan（arrange） the rest of the week, maybe(举例还是such as) a distant travel, a training program, or another part-time job if you are capable enough. But from my experience, it really takes me long time to refocus on my study, every time after a relaxing(换个词吧，unhurried, entertainment) holiday. Thus the extreme leisure or extreme toil will definitely harm the productivity in the job.

In sum, from the reasons discussed above, I firmly believe （宾语从句that不能省略）it's better to adopt a more flexible five day working schedule than to be driven by the whip of heavy load with longer work hours everyday. In the former case, both life’s quality and work productivity will be greatly enhanced.

总结一下吧：全文结构很完整，观点也比较清晰，个人觉得没有什么错误；就是在细节上再注意一些，举例的表达方式换一些，exemplify, examples abound in daily life等

Crystaljoy

To prodliu, 我也向你学习订正了一下

It sounds cool to toil only three days rather than five for the same big bread (big bread??什么意思)（我自己造，改编自toil for bread，为生计奔波，好像这里不太合适）, isn't it? When seeking a balance between work and life, however, we shouldn’t/ can never我怎么不觉得它别扭呢neglect the importance of quality of life for individuals and profit for company. From this perspective, I hold the view that the drawbacks of a three-day-work scheme far outweigh its good.（一个outweigh，简洁而有效，类似outnumber）（一个outweigh？后面不要了？）

To begin with, a quantity intensive three-day-work cannot afford the flexibility to deal with the unexpected urgencies occurring in the workplace. To condense the working hours which the same workload shared from five days to three days, we get plenty things to handle in the limited daytime, thus leave us a rather tight to-do-list. Once any emergency takes place, such as an interim(好词啊，同义词temporary/provisional) meeting of the board, you have no choice but to take the priority over your own list(很好的表达，have no choice but to do, take the priority).As a result, you have to delay the current works until finishing the urgent incidents，and sometimes you need to sacrifice your spare time to complete your task . Obviously, it's much more flexible to add some unexpected to the schedule when adopting a five-day-scheme.

In addition, a less stressful working scheme is good to employees, especially for women. As women are born, by nature, to take more responsibility in the child upbringing, that is to say, a child attach more to mother than father. Admittedly, many companies acknowledge the significant role a woman plays in child bearing and allow for maternal leave with full payment. In(According to) (这俩有差别么？) my observation, however, it is also necessary to provide every/each(是否有什么用法上的区别？) mother enough time to spend/staywith children every day. Therefore, working five days a week with shorter hours is beneficial to both employees and their families.

It's true that a three-day-work endows you the freedom to arrange the rest of the week, such as a distant travel, a training program, or another part-time job if you are capable enough. But from my experience, it really takes me long time to refocus on my study, every time after a relaxing (换个词吧，unhurried, entertainment) （cozy吧,adj）holiday. Thus the extreme leisure or extreme toil will definitely harm the productivity in the job.

In sum, from the reasons discussed above, I firmly believe （宾语从句that不能省略！）it's better to adopt a more flexible five day working schedule than to be driven by the whip of heavy load with longer work hours everyday. In the former case, both life’s quality and work productivity will be greatly enhanced.

晨依Jacqueline

To 晨依，
However, skeptical about the inadequate supporting evidence，the speaker makes statements against them through deep and fundamental analysis.
我想共用一个speaker 的主语，表示他的状态。可以么？

-- by 会员 Crystaljoy (2012/3/13 15:20:00)

这个我还真的不知道呢。。你这么一说吧我倒是明白一些了，只是我印象里面好像是都要用be的时候才可以的吧（就是the speaker is……）我的语法超级差的，鸟儿姐姐再问问吧~~

Crystaljoy

3.15

TPO5

The reading passage raises three possible explanations for the true usages of the 'great houses' in New Mexico. But none of them is regarded convincing in the eyes of the lecturer, and he casts serious doubts on such inadequate evidences one by one.

Firstly, the professor acknowledges the seemingly residential usage seen from the outside of the building but also mentions its contradictions examined from the inside. That is to say, the fire places for cooking, which are 10 more or less in total, can not satisfy the demands of more than 100 families living there, as calculated from the number of inside rooms. This concern, however, is neglected in the reading.

Then, the speaker continues rejecting the second claim in the passage that the houses are used to store food such as grain maize. He reminds us that the excavation of this cites shows no sign of grain maize itself, nor remains of other containers of maize. Thus it is unreasonable to come to such conclusion--- the supplies of maize had to be stored in these size-suitable buildings---without traces of any maize.

Finally, in regard to the guess of ceremonial centers, the lecturer and author give distinct opinions. The lecturer points out that the mound may be deposits of other materials such as the trashes of constructing materials. Besides, the pots in pile may also be trashes of meal leftovers by constructing workers. While the passage merely supposes the mound as broken discarded pots left by people who attended the ceremonies and consumed the meals in the pots.

Crystaljoy

3月15日 101210 NA Which do you prefer, finishing one project before starting another or doing two or more projects at the same time?

Generally speaking, focusing on one single project each time is a reliable method to achieve a certain goal. Nevertheless, under some exceptional circumstances, a more effective and efficient approach calls for your multi-task ability, that is to say, managing several projects at the same time, sometimes is more appropriate to make all the best.




On one hand, the virtues of finishing one project before starting another are undeniable. When fully dedicate yourself to the work at hand, you turn to be very concentrated and more likely to perform well. Suppose, for example, a student attempting to attend a literature lecture and write his physical report cannot make a win-win solution by combining two. He will neither listen to the professor carefully nor present the report precisely. In contrast, if he just focuses on one attainable task and spares no effort on it, better results of each one would be seen. Such one time one focus approach can no doubt make the very project more easily attainable.




On the other, doing two or more projects at the same time can equip you with more opportunities to conquer unexpected challenges that may spring up. For instance, there is an increasing number of double-major students in the university nowadays, not because that they are too bored and want to seek out novel pleasures, but that they study a variety of subjects in order to prepare for the competitive challenges they will face in careers. Actually, many academic disciplines are closely related in subtle ways. Likewise, the Origin of species, a notable book written by Darwin, caused a hot debate among socialists and politicians at that time. If lacking an understanding of biology or whatsoever, it would be impossible for them to have a convincing say. The same deal goes for a graduate with a well-round educational background who gets more job offers than others.




What I point out above are exceptional cases, admittedly; yet they do exist. Obviously, we cannot give a simple hasty generalization that which one is absolutely right, but depend on distinct circumstances. Generally, a whole hearted dedication is a fast and effective path to the ultimate goal; while in some other instances, handling multi-tasks that are closely related may be instrumental in more guarantees to success.

Crystaljoy

很抱歉，上一篇自个把自个写分裂了。
但是想到上午小刺猬跟我聊到有些范文观点不明确的时候，我也想试试。因为选择任何一点实在拿不出足够的论据，呜呜，脑袋缺乏素材啊。

Herisson0509

很抱歉，上一篇自个把自个写分裂了。
但是想到上午小刺猬跟我聊到有些范文观点不明确的时候，我也想试试。因为选择任何一点实在拿不出足够的论据，呜呜，脑袋缺乏素材啊。

-- by 会员 Crystaljoy (2012/3/16 23:18:00)

鸟 这篇不可以两边倒的 因为题目让选择

而且 我觉得以后还是乖乖侧重一边吧

比较保险 都怪我给你出这馊主意