2.29 独立 打错了很多单词囧~ Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The most important problems in today’s world will be solved in our lifetime. 这是我第二次改作文,由于我的语法什么的淡忘了很多,而且我的作文确实不太行,以下改正仅供参考,希望看到后觉得我改的有问题的地方跟我说一下,也帮我进步下。至于觉得我在胡说八道的地方直接略过即可。PS:咱俩作文的思路有些分歧,故在作文思路或者更好的论点上恕我不能给予更多帮助
What will future world look like? Will all the significant problems existing today be successful solved in our lifetime? Many people have heated discussions about these quesions(questions) and have different opinions. Some hold an active attitude, claiming that all the problems can be solved in the near future. Others worry that the problems may not be so easy to be solved, but even may deteriotate(deteriorate)(此句读起来感觉甚是奇怪啊,我不知道but后面究竟要表达什么,是要表达even more worse的意思么?). From my prospective(我觉得此处的介宾结构有些牵强了也蛮奇怪的,提供另个说法From my point of view), I agree with the latter opinion.
On one hand, many factors that have impacts on the present problems are not in the control of us human beings. The nature, for example, is the most irreversible and complicate(应该是complicated) facotor(factor). Take the problem of earthquake as an example(这个用的不错我学习下,免得老是For example或者For instance的), as we all know, the rate of the occurrance(occurrence) of earthquake becomes higher and higher this year. The Earthquake in Sichuan, China, the earthquake in Christchruch, New Zealand, and the Earthquake in Japan damaged our world one after one. (我觉得你这句子有语法错误,and之前并不是一个完整的句子架构,缺少动词,如果要表达的是列举则因该去掉and之前的逗号吧?)These disaters(disasters) has already alarmed us human beings as the signals of the revenge of nature, because we human beings do not protect the nature and even destory it relentlessly. Can we stop the arrival of Earthquake? No. Even if we can create the technology to predict earthquake, we would still have no place to escape when disasters occur at the same time everywhere. To solve the problems that are connected to the nature, we human beings first need to reflet(reflect) on what should be the best realtionship(relationship) between human beings and nature and what we can do to compensate for and protect nature. (好长的句子啊,我就跟做Gmat的语法题似地,而且我个人觉得这句子过于繁琐了,可以查拆成两个句子,用Secondly加以连接啊,否则会让人觉得只有first而无下文了)I think such questions may take sereval(several) generations to answer.
On the other hand, many problems are related to the interests of different people, and they may not be relutant(reluctant) to offer their help or sacrifice their benefits to solve the problems. However, in many circumstances, we can solve the problems completely only if all the people unite together to deal with them. But in many times, it will damage the interest of some people (个人感觉换成groups)to do so, so not all people are willing to sacrifice their interests for our better world. For instance, wealth disparity is a serious problem nowadays. Are all the rich willing to donate some materials to the poor? Is it possible for the merchants and retailer lower the prices they charge for the products? Most of such people who have already got the interests would not be warm-hearted enough to give their hands in solving the wealth disparity problem. As a saying goes, egotism is the nature of man. Hence, even if the problems occurring nowadays are possible to be solved when all the people corporate, not all of them would prefer to do so. (看到这后我觉得用on one hand 或者on the other hand作为引出两个观点的连词并不合适,因此问题不仅只有两个方面)
To sum up, although(我觉得去掉although更好) the present problems are difficult to solve because they are so sophisticated, we human beings should still have confidence and dedicate ourselves to ameliorate the problems and make our world better.(极亮啊。这句话我喜欢,又学习了)-- by 会员 daisyの小夢想 (2012/2/29 22:31:15)
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