A88，健康商店，望拍

大剑Jade

写的稍微拖沓一点就没有了检查时间，慎重~
提纲：
1.体育用品卖的好不代表民众追求健康。
2.俱乐部中的人可能更着重于交谈而非锻炼，学生们可能不会从program中受益。
3.商店卖的东西可能在该地没有竞争力。


题号：新GRE 88
题目：Our previous experience has been that our stores are most profitable in areas where residents are highly concerned with leading healthy lives. We should therefore build one of our new stores in Plainsville, which clearly has many such residents. Plainsville merchants report that sales of running shoes and exercise equipment are at all-time highs. The local health club, which nearly closed five years ago due to lack of business, has more members than ever, and the weight-training and aerobics classes are always full. We can even anticipate a new generation of customers: Plainsville's schoolchildren are required to participate in a program called Fitness for Life, which emphasizes the benefits of regular exercise at an early age.


写作要求：Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.


This argument is well presented but far-fetched. It lays a claim that their stores will continue to be profitable in Plainsville where residents are highly concerned with leading healthy lives. Nonetheless, the argument is in effect definitely impractical due to several flaws after a close scrutiny, albeit it may appear plausible at cursory glance.
First off, a threshold problem comes into being in this argument that the causes of good sales of running shoes and exercise equipment are necessarily related to people’s concerning about living healthily. However, this contention is open to a number of interpretations. We would never know if the residents are merely short of determinations to carry out their plans of exercise or only fans of collecting sport equipments. Thus, without accounting for as well as ruling out other likely scenarios, by no means could the author concludes that the residents are fond of exercising.
Moreover, even though the author might be able to provide evidence for us to deduce a solution to the problem presented above afterwards, the argument still maintains ill-conceived. Another problem is that is the local club and the program really useful? It’s totally possible that people go to the club to talk to each other rather than take exercise. In the weight-training classes and the aerobics classes the residents could only focus on exchanging opinions about losing weight, let alone the possibility of people from other regions come to the club to take exercise. That the students are required to participate in this program doesn’t mean they would like to take part in it. That is to say, the students might not be interested in healthy life at all. To corroborate his point, the author should pay a close heed to as well as cope with the representative possibilities, such as the aims of the residents in the club and the opinions of the students towards the program. Only then could he bolster his recommendation.
Finally, even if the foregoing assumptions might turn out to be supported by ensuing evidence, a crucial problem remains that is a populace an idea of living a healthy life really related to the functions of the store? Besides, what does the store sell? Does it sell medicine or sport equipment? In this light, it’s reasonable to cast doubts on the author’s presumption which I reject as inadequate. For instance, the author omits to inform us about the reasons of the store’s profitability. Perhaps other regions don’t have equipments to take exercise while Plainsville has shops selling this sort of stuffs. In this case, the store could lose its advantage in Plainsville. Pursuing this line of reasoning, it proves to be the author’s responsibility to mull over his provisos so as to pave the way for a more tenable argument.
In retrospect, the author seems precipitous to jump to the conclusion based on a series of problematic assumptions. To dismiss the specter of implausibility in this argument, the author ought to come to grips with the problems mentioned above. Only by grasping the gist of surveying thoroughly about the reasons of success in other regions could the author purvey a convincible recommendation. After all, feckless attempts with a fallible method could be nothing but a fool’s errand.
540words,30min

jasonliu119

我感觉就文章而言写的很好啊。不过我有一点疑惑：题目是补充证据型吧？但是貌似你的文章没有体现题目的要求哦。我觉得把各个开头句用evidence的句式表达一下就好吧。

还有一个小问题： a crucial problem remains that is a populace an idea of living a healthy life really related to the functions of the store? ——疑问句可以作为同位语的么？我貌似是第一次见到

jasonliu119

http://forum.chasedream.com/GRE_Prep/thread-597285-1-1.html 求回拍

大剑Jade

其实我注意到了，因此每个让步的开头都提到了evidence，我觉得应该没什么大碍。至于那个疑问句的问题，嗯， 我好像以前见过，但吃不准，那么以后不用这种表达了，以免不必要的麻烦~