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刚写的作文,求各位神牛狠批,谢谢了!

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发表于 2011-9-4 15:56:10 | 只看该作者 回帖奖励 |倒序浏览 |阅读模式
Do you think that young people should take several different kinds of job before

they take a career in a long term?



As times goes by, more and more people have higher standard of finding a job, someone wants to high salary, someone wants to have more free time, someone wants to find a job what they major in their college. To achieve those objects, they maybe need a long term career, but there is an argument that whether people should take several different kinds of job beforethey take a career in a long term.



There is no denying that taking a long term job will more stable, and will face less risk such as fluctuant salary, changeable work place, and unfamiliar colleagues. However people should also try some other jobs before they take in a long term.



An advantage of try some other jobs is that people can get different experiences from differentjobs, people can learn how to exchange ideas with each other from teachers, people also can get sell skills from a supermarket seller, and study how to assist other people from a company assistant. It is very important for a graduate who has no experience, and get some other work experiences can help he or she find a job easily. A recent survey indicates that more than 60 percent company would like to employ people who have other work experience before.



On the other hands, it is universal that people in today’s society need more friend than any other period time before. So we cannot emphasize the importance of friends too much. Friends will give us more help with works, families in the future. By taking friend’s help we can achieve our object more closely and more easily to get success. As a graduate, getting more job before he or she take in a long term, he or she will meet more people and some of them may become his or her friends someday, and give him or her a hand when he or she in trouble. That is the reason why people should try different job before taking a long term.



Put in a nutshell, I totally agree people should take several different kinds of job beforethey take a career in a long term, that will help them get success more easily.
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沙发
发表于 2011-9-8 15:02:22 | 只看该作者
认真看了下。。字太少了。。。
板凳
发表于 2011-9-10 20:39:08 | 只看该作者
个别语法错误比较明显 比如 wants to high salary 可以在考试时预留3分钟以上修改
地板
发表于 2011-9-10 20:40:30 | 只看该作者
说多一句 头像上的姑娘是我喜欢的类型
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