求作文批改...给点意见，这个能拿几分...谢谢

xiaojie2010

Number 82   题目：can advertising tell you a lot about a country
Currently, the technology of the science has rapidly improved in order to satisfy the demands of individuals and at the same time the society. Advertising as dummy tool assume the obligation though some people doubt the truth of it. Though the advertising, a country can be further recognition for a whole view.

Advertising invariably stands for a partial culture of the country to increase the intelligibility. For example, Jacky Chen who is a film superstar shoot an advertising of a shampoo is about how to keep a black hair (Chinese are born with black hair). However, the ad doesn’t directly manifest the function. Because Chinese culture is mild and subtle, if the problem is solved immediately, it is mostly supposed to be exaggerated. The contrast between several months ago and now is focused on to interpret the magical effect of the shampoo. Therefore, the ads may tell the viewer the angle of natives’ reflection.

Another aspect of fashion is positively responded due to the dramatic ads. What most people wear and which place the citizens want to visit take on with no effort. When turning on the TV and surfing on the Internet, the ads cannot be out of sight to supply the essential and timely information. If some day ads disappeared , the circumstances where individuals live nearby would lost the direction of the small society.

However, when it comes to profits, some ads begin to deceive the costumers. For instance, the ad law in china is not integrated so that more and more seize the chance to make a big money in recent years. Moreover, some of them are lucky enough to avoid the punishment by law. So in order to be cheated, more attention needs to be paid especially for the valuable goods on ads.

The people have already chatted very frequently weighing the cons and pros again and again. Apparently, ads are crucial for a country to publicity the value. It is also a mixture combining a variety of appearances of a country. Therefore, ads can surprise people who desire to touch a foreign country.

xiaojie2010

大家发表点看法...呵呵...互相交流...

madcow998

首先，作者没有认真审题，作文的内容是：广告是否反映了一个国家？我按照你的思路改了一下。由于时间仓促，加之水平本身就不高。献丑了。
Can advertising tell you a lot about a country?

Currently, the technology of the science has rapidly improved in order to satisfy the demands of individuals and at the same time the society. Advertising as dummy tool assume the obligation though some people doubt the truth of it. Though the advertising, a country can be further recognition for a whole view.

Advertising invariably stands for a partial culture of the country to increase the intelligibility. For example, Jacky Chen who is a film superstar shoot an advertising of a shampoo is about how to keep a black hair (Chinese are born with black hair). However, the ad doesn’t directly manifest the function. Because Chinese culture is mild and subtle, if the problem is solved immediately, it is mostly supposed to be exaggerated. The contrast between several months ago and now is focused on to interpret the magical effect of the shampoo. Therefore, the ads may tell the viewer the angle of natives’ reflection.

Advertising must be functioned in a way its customers are able to easily understand and accept its claims, which determines that the advertising is consistent with the culture it beneath. For example, in a TV commercial for shampoo where the manufacture tries to manifest it’s function to keep hair black and smooth, Jackie Chen, a Hong Kong celebrity popular with Chinese young, demonstrate the quality and performance in a frank tone by attributing the shampoo he promotes to his own purely black hair. It turned out to be so successful that a few business scholars began to wonder why, and they founded that Chinese people are likely to accept recommendations made personally and persuasively. So from the way products are advertised people may obtain knowledge of the culture-how people are affected by others’ opinions.

Another aspect of fashion is positively responded due to the dramatic ads. What most people wear and which place the citizens want to visit take on with no effort. When turning on the TV and surfing on the Internet, the ads cannot be out of sight to supply the essential and timely information. If some day ads disappeared , the circumstances where individuals live nearby would lost the direction of the small society.
Fashion, leading waves in aspects of the country, are mostly expressed in advertisements. Yong ladies can tell the recent popular color, fashionable styles of clothes just from a glance at pictures at street. Sports fans can just turn on TV or surf on the internet to find out the cool and fashionable sports equipments. It is easy to understand that advertising always performs as a leading signal of fashion, thus to make the products appealing and desirable.

However, when it comes to profits, some ads begin to deceive the costumers. For instance, the ad law in china is not integrated so that more and more seize the chance to make a big money in recent years. Moreover, some of them are lucky enough to avoid the punishment by law. So in order to be cheated, more attention needs to be paid especially for the valuable goods on ads.
However, it should be recognized that manufacture produce and advertise for profits, not for fashion. Exaggeration, deception or even fraud are happening in some commercials, people should be aware of these possible phenomenon when try to predict the culture by referring to the advertisement they have saw.
The people have already chatted very frequently weighing the cons and pros again and again. Apparently, ads are crucial for a country to publicity the value. It is also a mixture combining a variety of appearances of a country. Therefore, ads can surprise people who desire to touch a foreign country.

In summary, due to function of advertising, to persuasive, advertising can tell a lot of a country, main about the fashion and culture how people accept outer suggestions. It also should keep in mind that advertising services to people who want to sell their goods and make money, sometimes advertisement can be misleading.

xiaojie2010

谢谢2楼...花宝贵的时间为我批改...我仔细看看