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- 453700
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- 2009-7-11
- 最后登录
- 1970-1-1
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Hi, LZ & LS, my experience is just the same as yours. I've been staying in the States for more than 3 years and my visa status turned from F2 to H4 last year. What I wanna say is you are not alone, and you are still young. To be frank, I think my pressure is far beyond what you guys could feel. I was born before 1980 which you can guess how old I am. I gave birth the year after I came to the US, but I decided to bring my son back to China for some time because I couldn't handle him by myself while studying for the tests. He'll be turning to two very soon, but I'm still cracking the TOEFL&GMAT alone here in the States, I'm missing him while suffering the tests' torture everyday. Like you, I cried from the bottom of my heart every time when I saw the tests' results on the screen, I thought why I couldn't climb this barrier mountain in my life, I'm wondering when I can finish it and bring my son back to my life. I feel sometimes I'm lost in my mind, I always think of the opportunity cost-what if I didn't come to the US, maybe I would have been promoted to a management position already; what if I didn't come to the US, maybe I am now enjoying the wonderful life in Shanghai.But now, I'm living kind of an isolated life, no social connections here, no relatives here, what I'm doing is just going to library everyday... Why I should be facing such pressure and burden like this? Was I wrong with my choice? Was I too immature when I made all decisions? You know what, when people start doubting him/her-self, the symptoms like mine. I think people always have the paradoxical personalities, the most important thing is always don't lose the compass in your life which means you should always make things clear in your mind-what's your initiatives and aspirations for your life. For me, the true love from my husband and my families is always the strongest backbone (of course, this is also the way why I feel so much pressure, but just think of things positively and simply-because they all wish you well.) So, I believe one day I would be bringing my son back with "glory", for this, I won't regret what I have decided and what I am doing though I sometimes hate myself and feel like I'm the most brutal mother ever in this world especially when I was weak. Okay, I wish you best,find and keep your aspirations for better life, and do remember: success is going from failure to failure without a loss of enthusiasm. Good luck for all of us! |
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