第一次，求指导^_^

机器猫灭绝者

Sports and social activites are just as important as classes and libraries?

The worlds are totally different with the invention of new technology, the new era require people with more knowledge and capacity to build the society. As a result, people are more likely to enter university or college to strengthen their ability. One of the most important mission of a university is to transmit talented person to the society. Consequently, a ideal place to study is necessary.


In my country, classes and library is one of the imporatant benchmark to measure a school’s ranking. Since most of the students spend most of their time in these places exclude the studentdorm. Unlike sports facilities or social activites, a school’s library should always keep the trend of global enviroment, which means more investment should be put into the collection of books and acdemica magzines’ up-to-date. More study space are needed for students who need to study in group to discuss the task or do cutting edge research. Besides, well-trained library stuff can also help orgnize the book collection and provide suggestion to students to find what they need.


People who say the sports and social activies are just have the same weight as classes and libraries fail to concern the obviously fact that most students are not majoy in physical education. To whom majoy in physical education, a set of facilities are necessary. However, students in other major, take myself for example, will not spend more than 2 hours to do sports in my daily life. Furthermore, I seldom to use some of the sports facilities, such as horizontal bar or hurdle race. Many of my classmates are likely to play basketball or badminton on the school yard instead of gymnasium.


Additonally, compare to the library and classes, the gymnasium need less staff to maintain the facilities, even the staff can be insteaded by the part-time job students. It is unecessary to put the same amount of financial investment into the sports activities as school library does.


Base on the above disscusion, I disagree that the sports or social activities should regard as important as classes and library. Although a healty strong body is critical to students, science and technology education are the main purpoes that people come to university.

Elijahh

The worlds are totally different with the invention of new technology, the new era require people with more knowledge and capacity to build the society.（两个动词！require用法不对吧？） As a result, people are more likely to enter university or college to strengthen（improve会否更恰当？） their ability. One of the most important mission of a university is to transmit (感觉怪异) talented person to the society. Consequently, a ideal place to study is necessary.
（一般来说，第一段应该挑明主题吧）

In my country, classes and library is one of the imporatant benchmark to measure a school’s ranking.（这个单复数。。表达有点中式化） Since most （of the） students spend most （of their) time in(on) these places exclude the studentdorm.(怪怪的，除寝室可以放在句首，换个普通的表达) Unlike sports facilities or social activites, a school’s library should always keep the trend of global enviroment（拼写）, which means more investment should be put into the collection of books and acdemica magzines’ up-to-date（这是个形容词）. More study space are（is） needed for students who need to study in group to discuss the task or do cutting edge research. Besides, well-trained library stuff can also help orgnize the book collection and provide suggestion to students to find what they need.


People who say the sports and social activies are just have the same weight as classes and libraries fail to concern the obvious（去ly） fact that most students are not majoy in physical education. To whom majoy（！whose major可能比较贴切） in physical education, a set of facilities are necessary. However, students in other major, take myself for example, will not spend more than 2 hours to do sports in my daily life. Furthermore, I seldom to （去to）use some of the sports facilities, such as horizontal bar or hurdle race. Many of my classmates are likely to play basketball or badminton on the school yard instead of gymnasium.


Additonally, compare to the library and classes, the gymnasium need less staff to maintain the facilities, even the staff can be insteaded （非动词！）by the part-time job students. It is unecessary to put the same amount of financial investment into the sports activities as school library does.


Base（based不能用人做主语吧） on the above disscusion, I disagree that the sports or social activities should regard as important as classes and library. Although a healty strong body is critical to students, science and technology education are the main purpoes that people come to university.

不够开门见山，论证不够深入,social activites呢？语法错误偏多，more开头的句子不少
后面看的不大仔细，抱歉
逻辑蛮清楚的，自己的例子不错，加油!