Ask Jason@沃顿 (my essays inside!) Free essay advice again~

newborn2009

you're right, it's not about philosophy.

But you've dexterously applied economic/marketing theory to explain essay writing, this is great and easy to understand. Thanks.

nanirina

very good points Jason　Thank you for offering your insights and helping out fellow applicants

shuxuehai

每次看Jason 的回帖都有些似是而非的晕，今天有些明白了，原来是Jason同学的理论水平太高了，到达了哲学思辨的境界。

-- by 会员 newborn2009 (2009/12/31 8:10:36)

I do have the same feeling. However, it becomes clearer for me if I continue to think what Jason says and writes for several days.

cannedpineapple

An applicant to UChicago college answers the essay "Why UChicago". He responds, "ask not why!" This is taken from an email sent by UChicago admissions dean to all applicants. PS: This is for UChicago, not Chicago Booth. A business school essay will look nothing like this. Nonetheless, it shows you the spirit of UChicago. Also, notice that, just like with bschool applicants, the dean ends his message with.. "be yourself".

------------------------
Dear xxx,

I am sending you the following essay by one of your classmates with the hope that it lightens your mood, reduces any end-of-the-year stress and inspires your creative juices in completing your applications. Enjoy the essay and the holidays!

"Dear University of Chicago,

It fills me up with that gooey sap you feel late at night when I think about things that are really special to me about you. Sometimes I just hunger for more, but I keep that a secret. The mail you send is such a tease; I like to imagine additional words on the page. Words like "you're accepted" or "you're awesome!" or "don't worry, she still loves you!" but I know they're all lies. You never called after that one time, I visited you thrice, but you never come around anymore. Tell me, was I just one in a line of many? Was I just another supple "applicant" to you, looking for a place to live, looking for someone to teach me the ways of the world? The closeness between us was beautiful, it couldn't have been just me that felt it, I know you felt it too. The intimacy was akin to that of scholar and original text, your depth as a person is astounding! To be honest, I must confess I had already dreamt of a rosy future together, one filled with late nights and long discussions over the Gothic era and the ethical stage of Kierkegaard, we would watch the sunset together and spend every Christmas snuggled in blankets. Eventually we would get older, I would become a well-educated corporate lawyer and you would enrich yourself within the domain of human knowledge. Your cup overfloweth with academic genius, pour a little on me. You're legendary for it, they all told me it would never work out between us, but I had hope. I had so much hope; I replied to your adorable letters and put up with your puns. I knew going into it that you would be an expensive one to keep around, I accounted for all that; I understand someone of your caliber and taste.

And now you inquire as to my wishes? They're simple, accept me for who I am! Why can't you just love and not ask why? Not ask about my assets or my past? I'm living in the now, I'm waiting for you to catch up, but you're too caught up in my past, I offer us a future together, not a past to dwell upon. Whenever I'm around you, I just get that tingle deep inside me that tells me you're the one; you have that air of brilliance and ingenuity that I crave in a person, you're so mature and sophisticated, originality is really your strongest and most admirable trait. I wish we could be together, I still think in my heart of hearts we were meant to be, but you have to meet me halfway, dear. I'm on one knee here with tears welling up in my eyes, the fireworks are timed and ready to light up the night sky for you, just say 'I accept...you.'

Always,

Rohan"

P.S. Rohan was admitted to UChicago last week and will be joining us in the fall. I can't wait to meet him.

P.P.S. This was in response to the question: How does the University of Chicago, as you know it now, satisfy your desire for a particular kind of learning, community and future? DO NOT see this as a blueprint, but one of many types of essays we get. Be yourself!

Best regards,
James Nondorf
Vice President
Dean of Admissions and Financial Aid
The University of Chicago

newborn2009

haha, 比情书还酸阿。funny guy。

topmba2009

An applicant to UChicago college answers the essay "Why UChicago". He responds, "ask not why!" This is taken from an email sent by UChicago admissions dean to all applicants. PS: This is for UChicago, not Chicago Booth. A business school essay will look nothing like this. Nonetheless, it shows you the spirit of UChicago. Also, notice that, just like with bschool applicants, the dean ends his message with.. "be yourself".

------------------------
Dear xxx,

I am sending you the following essay by one of your classmates with the hope that it lightens your mood, reduces any end-of-the-year stress and inspires your creative juices in completing your applications. Enjoy the essay and the holidays!

"Dear University of Chicago,

It fills me up with that gooey sap you feel late at night when I think about things that are really special to me about you. Sometimes I just hunger for more, but I keep that a secret. The mail you send is such a tease; I like to imagine additional words on the page. Words like "you're accepted" or "you're awesome!" or "don't worry, she still loves you!" but I know they're all lies. You never called after that one time, I visited you thrice, but you never come around anymore. Tell me, was I just one in a line of many? Was I just another supple "applicant" to you, looking for a place to live, looking for someone to teach me the ways of the world? The closeness between us was beautiful, it couldn't have been just me that felt it, I know you felt it too. The intimacy was akin to that of scholar and original text, your depth as a person is astounding! To be honest, I must confess I had already dreamt of a rosy future together, one filled with late nights and long discussions over the Gothic era and the ethical stage of Kierkegaard, we would watch the sunset together and spend every Christmas snuggled in blankets. Eventually we would get older, I would become a well-educated corporate lawyer and you would enrich yourself within the domain of human knowledge. Your cup overfloweth with academic genius, pour a little on me. You're legendary for it, they all told me it would never work out between us, but I had hope. I had so much hope; I replied to your adorable letters and put up with your puns. I knew going into it that you would be an expensive one to keep around, I accounted for all that; I understand someone of your caliber and taste.

And now you inquire as to my wishes? They're simple, accept me for who I am! Why can't you just love and not ask why? Not ask about my assets or my past? I'm living in the now, I'm waiting for you to catch up, but you're too caught up in my past, I offer us a future together, not a past to dwell upon. Whenever I'm around you, I just get that tingle deep inside me that tells me you're the one; you have that air of brilliance and ingenuity that I crave in a person, you're so mature and sophisticated, originality is really your strongest and most admirable trait. I wish we could be together, I still think in my heart of hearts we were meant to be, but you have to meet me halfway, dear. I'm on one knee here with tears welling up in my eyes, the fireworks are timed and ready to light up the night sky for you, just say 'I accept...you.'

Always,

Rohan"

P.S. Rohan was admitted to UChicago last week and will be joining us in the fall. I can't wait to meet him.

P.P.S. This was in response to the question: How does the University of Chicago, as you know it now, satisfy your desire for a particular kind of learning, community and future? DO NOT see this as a blueprint, but one of many types of essays we get. Be yourself!

Best regards,
James Nondorf
Vice President
Dean of Admissions and Financial Aid
The University of Chicago

-- by 会员 jelt2359 (2010/1/1 1:36:20)

Eye-opening! I see its own ingenuity. His passion knocked the door open.

cannedpineapple

And like I said, sometimes showing weakness is a strength

Biology

Wow, this is giving me a totally new insight into UChicago
Though it may not because of this single essey that he got in, it was really the personality, sincerity, creativity, and courage helped him stand out in this particular passage.

nanirina

That UChicago essay is really an eye-opener. I am awed by his creativity and courage. He really showed his unique side. Too bad I know I can never write like him but hey, I should just be myself right? hehe

Zoolantz

It's a fun read, but I fail to see how it demonstrate the spirit of the University.  Are you implying that UChicago embraces creativity?  I assume this application essay is for undergrad, correct?  I agree that a business school application should be nothing like it.  I see two issues with this style of writing, which can be lethal when used in applying to a business school.  1) Lack of content - other than the brilliant writing and creativity, I only learned one thing about the applicant, which is his career aspiration of becoming a corporate lawyer.  2) Way to generic - I bet this guy is using this exact love letter knocking on the doors of Harvard, NorthWestern and so on.

But again, it does make him standout from the crowd.  I too realize the fact that adcom are also human.  When you read 50 informational but yet boring essays all day long and everyday, something like this can certainly lighten up your mood.  I have been incorporating some creativity into my essay writing lately.  I want them to be enjoyable, not forgettable.  We'll see how that work out.  I recommend you guys try the same.