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第一次尝试独立写作,请大家给点建议好吗?谢谢

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楼主
发表于 2007-12-7 21:49:00 | 只看该作者

第一次尝试独立写作,请大家给点建议好吗?谢谢

刚刚尝试用模版,写了一篇文章,大概565words. 希望各位可以给点宝贵建议!

It has recently been announced that a new restaurant may be built in your neighborhood. Do you support or oppose this plan? Why? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

Recently the issue about the positive as well as the negative influence of building a restaurant in our community has posed among people. Since then, there has been a widespread discussion on the different awareness to the problem. When asked about the attitude towards it, people who argue that building a restaurant will disturb the life of the residents seem to oppose this plan, but the majority of people who hold the opinion that a new restaurant will lead to an enhance of employment rate and speed up the development of economy in our community, on the other hand, perceive the issue differently. As far as I am concerned, I completely agree with the latter, for the advantages of building a restaurant are tremendous and indispensable.

 

 

First of all, one of the advantages of building a restaurant is that it will provide a large number of working positions, and thus, enhance the rate of employment. It proves a typical example of the benefits that my neighbor, Mr. Wang, who had been out of work for half a year has found a job in the new-built Chinese restaurant nowadays. We may point out the undeniable fact that it was the restaurant that brought happiness and laughter to his family.  To the now familiar evidence, a great deal of further examples may be added. Since there are still a lot of people who are laid-off workers in our neighborhood, the appearance of a restaurant will greatly solve this  problem so that hundreds of laboring source will get a new job and make a crucial contribution to our society. In addition, the quality of their life will be significantly improved. Children will obtain a better education and the relationships between people will be more harmonious.

 

 

Equally important is the fact that building a large restaurant will obviously speed up the development of economy in our community, for the fascinating food and entertainment facilities will attract thousands of tourists to our town, and therefore, enlarge the revenues of tax and improve the transportation infrastructure. As is evidenced in statistic released by our government last year, the restaurants and hotels created more than half of the revenues of tax and the proportion was still increasing. All available evidence lends support to the view that since the contributions that the restaurants have made, more and more people are willing to invest their money to build a new restaurant. When people enjoy the astonishing improvement that the restaurants brought in our life, isn’t it necessary for us to advocate the plan of building a new one in the neighborhood?

 

 

Contrary to the opinion above is the heartfelt objection of some people who argue that building a new restaurant will disturb their peaceful life. If there was a restaurant near the houses of the residents, the noise of cars and clamor of people would make them upset. On the other hand, building more restaurants means occupying more private spaces of the local residents.Hence, leads to more complaints to the community service agency.

 

 

Although the problems of building a restaurant in our neighborhood are considerable, it can not compete with the benefits that building a new restaurant brings about if the enhance of employment rate and the development of economy are taken into deliberation. Undoubtedly, all the evidence leads to a remarkable consequence that building a new restaurant nearby is definitely beneficial to our community.

 

 


[此贴子已经被作者于2007-12-7 21:50:21编辑过]
沙发
 楼主| 发表于 2007-12-7 23:25:00 | 只看该作者

差到没人理了??伤心~~

板凳
 楼主| 发表于 2007-12-8 13:09:00 | 只看该作者
拜托大家,顶一下
地板
发表于 2007-12-8 13:27:00 | 只看该作者

我还没开始练独立写作呢。。

我个人意见啊,第一段是不是有点过于罗嗦了?

第一段简单陈述问题,直接发表自己看法就OK了吧?要有字正腔圆,落地有声的那种感觉吧

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