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[求助]请各位高手点评~!!敝人第一写TOEFL文章,实在有很多需要帮助的地方,请大家不吝赐教~!自当感激万分~!

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楼主
发表于 2007-8-26 01:19:00 | 只看该作者

[求助]请各位高手点评~!!敝人第一写TOEFL文章,实在有很多需要帮助的地方,请大家不吝赐教~!自当感激万分~!

103. In your opinion, what is the most important characteristic (for example, honesty, intelligence, a sense of humor) that a person can have to be successful in life? When you write your answer, you are not limited to the examples listed in the question.

 

To be successful in life, one needs the his/her own special characteristic, such as intelligence, a sense of humor, thinking critically, It is much meaningful one since different people hold different views on it not only because of their respective backgrounds but also due to their alien understanding. After stating everyone’s opinion can be different about this, for me honesty, in the other word, honesty plays an important role in being successful in life.

 

    First, honesty may help the problem can be solved at an earlier stage. For example, when the SARS bursted in China, Zhong Nanshan ,who is the well-known expert in the infectious disease area of China, announced the circumstance immediately in stead of deceiving the public. He forced the progress which in prevention and cure of SARS and became a hero in the conflict. 

 

Second, honesty is merit of human being, base on which confidence to each other is built. We live in a world which is full of various of relationships. To build relationships well, is the key to the accesses to success. If someone always tells lies, and there is nobody trust him/her. Can he/she built any his/her own favorable relationship? Obviously, the answer is NO. It required us that we should treat others frankly. otherwise, it will be a bar on your way to success.

 

The US Enron scandal showed us that the honesty is playing a significant role in to being successful. Without honesty, it may lead a disaster even bankruptcy. This case is not rare in this world which lots of people desiring to be the riches live in, in reality, many businessmen call on the honesty being back to our society.

 

 Therefore, among various characteristics that may contribute to one's success in life, being honest is probably the most important.

 

 

 

 
沙发
 楼主| 发表于 2007-8-26 01:20:00 | 只看该作者
小女子在此先谢过了~~
板凳
 楼主| 发表于 2007-8-26 23:31:00 | 只看该作者
斑竹大人以及各位,有空帮我修改下。。我实在不知道怎么写下去了。。。555。。
地板
发表于 2007-8-27 04:00:00 | 只看该作者

     To be successful in life, one needs the his/her own special characteristic, such as intelligence, a sense of humor, thinking critically, It is much meaningful one since different people hold different views on it not only because of their respective backgrounds but also due to their alien understanding. After stating everyone’s opinion can be different about this, for me honesty, in the other word, honesty plays an important role in being successful in life.

   How to be successful in life? Rely solely on your own special faculties--intelligence, a sense of humor, or ability to think critically? Or anything else? Diffrent people may have varied opinions, not only because of their differring backgounds, but also because of their dispersing / alienated understanding. Yet for me, honesty plays an important role in succeeding in life.

    First, honesty may help the problem can be solved at an earlier stage. For example, when the SARS bursted in China, Zhong Nanshan ,who is the well-known expert in the infectious disease area of China, announced the circumstance immediately in stead of deceiving the public. He forced the progress which in prevention and cure of SARS and became a hero in the conflict. 

 

 

Second, honesty is merit of human being, base on which confidence to each other is built. We live in a world which is full of various of relationships. To build relationships well, is the key to the accesses to success. If someone always tells lies, and there is nobody trust him/her. Can he/she built any his/her own favorable relationship? Obviously, the answer is NO. It required us that we should treat others frankly. otherwise, it will be a bar on your way to success.

 

 

The US Enron scandal showed us that the honesty is playing a significant role in to being successful. Without honesty, it may lead a disaster even bankruptcy. This case is not rare in this world which lots of people desiring to be the riches live in, in reality, many businessmen call on the honesty being back to our society.

 

 

 Therefore, among various characteristics that may contribute to one's success in life, being honest is probably the most important.

5#
发表于 2007-8-27 04:05:00 | 只看该作者

care grammars

mkae it more idiomatic

a little bit awkward in wording

6#
 楼主| 发表于 2007-8-27 12:04:00 | 只看该作者

感谢YETEMWOK的点评,我会更加注意的,谢谢~~

我还有一个问题,就是每段,写了一个主题句,举了例子,然后下面的展开,老是没东西写,这怎么办啊?

7#
发表于 2007-9-8 23:55:00 | 只看该作者
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